The Art of Revenge


Tony woke, shoulders twisted unnaturally and legs stiff. His head hurt like hell and his mouth tasted like he'd cleaned the floor of Ducky's morgue with his tongue. He pulled at the ropes binding his arms and hands. They didn't move and the room offered no clue as to who had taken him, but Tony had a good idea.

"Ari! Bastard!" A bit of blood came out with some spit, and Tony remembered the punch that cracked a tooth. Tony shouted again. "Come the fuck out here and face me!"

Ari appeared out of the shadows, a small smile on his face. In his hands he held a knife and an apple. "Hello, Tony."

Tony glared as the bastard knelt down by his face and began peeling the apple carefully. The red skin came off in a smooth curve. "I'm sure you're wondering where you are. Don't bother asking, though. I'm not going to tell you. And there's no one else here to succumb to your smile." Ari smiled and Tony spat again.

The satisfaction he got from seeing his blood drip down Ari's cheek was short lived. The hard slap he got in return snapped his head to the side and he felt his right eye swell. A hand gripped his hair and pulled him back up. Tony didn't react to the knife Ari waved in his face. "Next time I'll use this and won't that be a shame? Or maybe not." Ari shoved Tony's head back to the floor, and Tony winced as it almost bounced off the concrete. Concussion for sure, he thought briefly. "Maybe a scar or two would toughen you up a bit." Ari laughed, the sound cold in the echoing space. "Assuming you live long enough for them to heal."

Tony coughed. He wanted to smart off to Ari but he was pretty sure he'd use that knife. "What do you want, Ari? No one is going to believe you're a double agent now. I'm surprised you're not somewhere hiding from Gibbs. He plans to hunt you down like the rabid dog you are."

"Good." Ari stood, and the apple peel dropped to the floor, inches from Tony's face. The smell was sickly-sweet, but Tony was suddenly aware of how dry his throat was, how empty his stomach was. He grimaced as he heard Ari crunch into the fruit, and a drop of juice splatted on his cheek.

"Do you want me to give Gibbs a message? Is that it?" Tony struggled to sit up. Ari watched him and looked bored, but Tony knew boredom was the last thing Ari was feeling. The crunch of the apple sounded obscene and Tony hated that his mouth watered. Ari stepped closer and knelt down.

"Would you like some, Tony? It's very good." The apple was waved under his nose but Tony glared at Ari and ignored it. He remembered that for this bastard it was all about the game. Ari snorted. "You think you're so tough." He bit into the apple again and licked his lips. Tony swallowed hard, then bit the inside of his cheek, hard, to make himself stop. Ari grinned. "Ah. But you're ruled by your senses. Not at all like poor Caitlin." Ari stood and took a step back. Tony swallowed the rage and grief that surged at her name. "She was ruled by intellect."

"Don't mention her name. You don't get to stand there and say it with such affection after you put a bullet in her brain." Tony turned away and gathered his control. He had to do it quickly and keep a tight rein. Ari was right. Tony let his senses guide him and couldn't afford to have them used against him. He looked back when he heard a quiet 'snitch' and watched as Ari drank from a frosted bottle of water. Eyes cold as a snake observed him and recorded every twitch of his lips.

Tony knew he probably wouldn't survive the night, but deep down a small kernel of hope still remained. Gibbs would find him. He'd find him and shoot this fucker full of holes. Something of what he was thinking must have showed on his face, because Ari laughed.

"I've been watching you and Gibbs for two weeks and neither of you had a clue. The interaction between you two was very entertaining"

Tony remained quiet. Ari stepped closer and knelt down beside him. His whispered words made Tony's heart stutter. "Do you know Gibbs looks at you like he owns you?" Ari moved closer and if Tony could have moved away, he would have. "I do believe the honorable and noble Gibbs wants to fuck you." Ari grabbed him by the neck and Tony tried to breathe but a thumb pressed into his Adam's apple blocked most of his air. "Imagine my surprise. It made me take a closer look at you." The hand let go of his throat but remained on his neck and the way it lingered, made Tony want to retch, but his body was busy pulling in air.

He coughed and looked Ari in the eyes. "You're crazier than I thought. If you think Gibbs is going to trade himself for me then go ahead and try it. The last thing you'll hear is me laughing as he puts a bullet in your head."

Tony cursed when Ari slapped him. He struggled when Ari tore open his shirt, buttons popping and rolling off into the dark. Dread curled into a painful ball in his stomach. He felt lean legs straddle him and he rolled trying to get Ari off of him. A sharp pain in his side made him stop. He felt the knife slice into his skin. Looking into Ari's eyes was like looking into a cold hell.

"You know what else I noticed while watching you two?" The knife withdrew and blood seeped slowly onto the floor. Tony attempted not to move as Ari cut into his undershirt and split it up the middle. He grunted when the knife lightly scratched him.

"You look at him like you'd let him do anything he wanted to you." In the back of Tony's mind he knew what was coming, he knew where Ari was going with this conversation and he prayed that something would happen to interrupt them.

Ari touched his stomach and rubbed it. His hand felt clammy and hot and Tony shuddered. He spoke through clenched teeth. "Get off of me."

Ari continued to touch him, his fingers exploring him in a parody of lustful attention. When Ari leaned down like he was going to kiss him, Tony didn't give him a chance. He threw his head forward and head butted him as hard as he could. It made his head ring but Ari slid off him. It took Tony a moment to realize he could get up, even with his hands tied behind him. He headed into the darkened corner where he saw the outline of stairs. Tony had one foot on the stairs when Ari pulled him back.

The punch to his stomach doubled him over and the fist to his chin made him fall to his knees. His head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton and razors. Ari pushed him down and straddled him again, the expression on his face cold and detached. He spread his hands over Tony's chest and started to touch him again. He smiled as Tony shook his head.

Ari's voice took on a crooning quality. "After this, Gibbs won't touch you. Ever. Every time he looks at you, he'll see me. He'll wonder how much of a fight you put up." Cold, spider like fingers pulled at his belt. "I did my research. Everyone knows you like sex. So everyone will wonder if I had to take it, or if you just gave it to me." Another slap to his face blinded Tony. He moaned when Ari turned him over on his stomach. Hands pulled at his pants and he kicked out weakly. He felt a kick land on Ari's thigh but it was soft and Ari chuckled.

"Don't worry, Tony. I promise to be gentle."

He tried to struggle but his body wouldn't obey. Every muscle, every bone ached and Ari was stronger than he looked. He felt air on his ass and thighs and Tony cursed. Ari grabbed his legs and wrenched them apart. He moved between them and Tony turned his head but he could only see a blurry shadow.

The grit and dirt on the floor pressed into his chest. Ari pushed one hand down hard on the small of his back, while his other hand worked between the cheeks of his ass. Fingers jammed into his body and Tony groaned loudly. He could hear his heart beat loudly in his ears. This couldn't be happening. Things like this didn't happen to him. He opened his eyes and started to struggle harder. Ari waited him out, fingers harsh inside his body, stretching him roughly. He tired quickly and his head ached. A small sound he recognized as a condom wrapper being ripped open made him freeze.

Tony didn't have any warning. The fingers inside him disappeared and Ari pushed into him, steadily shoving his cock inside past any resistance. Tony felt like he was being split in half. He screamed loudly and under the sounds of his screams, Ari laughed. "Well, this was quite unexpected. All the research I did on you led me to believe you'd be a little more experienced. That's okay. I'm glad you saved yourself for me." He laughed again and thrust hard. Tony felt his skin tearing and it was like being stabbed with a hot knife. Ari moved in and out of him and Tony did something he never thought he would. He begged.

"Don't, don't, stop, don't, oh god." The words that tumbled out of his mouth didn't make Ari stop, but he couldn't help but repeat them over and over. Tony's body shuddered and he suddenly felt like he was floating. He felt numb and he seemed to be looking down at something. He didn't recognize the battered man on the floor or the man pushing into him.

Tony blinked and he was back in his body. His throat was raw and he could only wheeze painfully when Ari pulled out of him. He didn't react when Ari leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"No need to give Gibbs a message from me." Tony flinched from the hand that patted his back. "You are the message."

Tony lay there, not sure if he was hoping for death or rescue. He vaguely heard some rustling, and a bit of fresh air was cold against his wet face for a brief moment before he mercifully passed out.


* * *


A maddening itch on his thighs woke him. Well, that, and the sound of a single gunshot. Tony flinched and tried to roll away, but he hurt too much, and fell back down onto his stomach.

"Boss! I found him!" McGee. Tony groaned. "Oh." A long pause and a loud swallow followed by a very quiet, "Oh, Jesus, Tony." Just what Tony had expected; horror and pity. He struggled to get up again.

"Don't move, Tony. We've got EMTs on call." When had the probie gotten efficient?

Tony heard footsteps coming nearer and without seeing him, knew it was Gibbs. He didn't want to see the look on Gibbs face but some part of him must have needed to because he opened his eyes and turned his head. He could barely make out Gibbs, but what he could see was something he'd never seen before. The ex-Marine looked...old and his eyes held a deep sadness that made Tony want to ask what was wrong. Instead he licked his lips. "I'm sorry, boss."

Gibbs shook his head and knelt down beside him. A small tug and Tony's arms and hands were free. Tony clenched his teeth as sharp needles of pain flowed over his arms. He watched as Gibbs took off his overcoat. Tony felt it settle over his body and something in him relaxed for a moment. He closed his eyes when he heard the EMT's clatter into the room. He was lifted onto the stretcher and whisked out to the waiting van. Gibbs' coat went with him.

At the hospital Tony had to endure the nurse's look of professional pity as she checked him over. He tensed when a male doctor showed up to check if he was still bleeding. He couldn't stop his body from shaking and bit his lip until he tasted blood at the pain of the examination. When it was over he got a private room and some drugs. He lay on his side and tried to block out the last few hours of his life. Tony had the feeling it wouldn't be possible.

He looked up at the sound of the door opening. Gibbs, of course. Looks like forgetting was out of the picture.

"I need your report, DiNozzo." Gibbs' voice was colder and harsher than Ari's had been, and Tony tried not to flinch.

His voice was raw and dry, and the feeding tube in his arm didn't help with that at all. "Where am I?" Tony croaked.

"Richmond. Retreat Hospital." Tony blinked. He had lost quite a few hours. "Report, Tony. What happened to you after work yesterday?"

Tony frowned, forcing his brain to rewind. "I stopped by the Safeway. Got some food. Flirted with Sally. I was unlocking the door to my apartment when I smelled someone's cologne." He grimaced, and managed to not touch the knot on his head. "I think they had a baseball bat."

"What happened next, DiNozzo." The way Gibbs spat out his name made Tony want to bury himself under the covers. In the back of his mind he knew Gibbs was trying to put it all on a professional level but it was hard to remember that.

"I woke up and had a conversation with Ari." The terrorists' name made Gibbs whole face tighten in anger. Tony looked at the white wall behind Gibbs. "He said he'd been watching us and then he made some threats and did the usual bad guy thing and hit me a couple of times. I got in a few hits and then he--" Tony shook his head. He couldn't say it. If he said it out loud it became true.

Gibbs nodded. "That's enough for now, DiNozzo." Tony thought he heard a glimmer of sympathy, but Gibbs' face was still cold. Gibbs stood. "I'll bring Ducky by tomorrow. Abby wants to see you, too, but that might be a bit much."

Tony watched Gibbs head for the door. He repeated the words he'd said earlier. "I'm sorry boss." Gibbs paused by the door and turned back around. Tony looked down at his own hands. They were dirty, the nails ragged. He could still feel the dirt under his hands as he'd scrabbled and fought with Ari. Gibbs' hand grabbed both of his.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Tony. This wasn't your fault. I want you to remember that, okay?"

Tony felt his throat close up. He nodded, unable to speak. Gibbs stood there and Tony fell asleep with Gibbs' hands on his.


When Tony woke up, Gibbs was gone. His entire body ached and he had the absurd thought that he was glad he didn't have access to a mirror. A nurse came in and checked him over. He didn't try to meet her eyes and though she stayed professional the entire time, Tony still felt embarrassed. He flicked through the channels on the TV, but nothing held his attention. He took a nap and awoke when his doctor came in.

"Hello, Mr. DiNozzo, I'm Dr. Hughes. How are you feeling?"

Tony fought not to roll his eyes. He slowly sat up and the dull throb in his ass made him angry. He shrugged and even that hurt. "I'm alive. When can I get out of here?"

"Well, we want to watch you for at least another day. Your head is what worries us most since you took several hits to it. We checked the bones around your eyes. They should heal up fine. You were pretty torn up and we considered putting stitches inside you, but decided you would heal faster without them." The doctor looked down at his chart and Tony looked out the window. "Your kidneys are bruised so when you urinate if it comes out with a red tint let one of the nurses know. You have two cracked ribs plus a cut on your side. It's not deep but we're watching it too."

Tony nodded and didn't say anything. He'd known it was bad but to hear the list of his injuries only made them feel worse. The doctor went on for a few more minutes then left. Tony succeeded in going back to sleep. He dreamed of Ari's hands on him, the way he'd touched him then pushed inside his body like he had every right to do so. He woke up covered in sweat, with his heart pounding a mile a minute. He forced himself to stay awake as long as he could, but the pain meds made him sleepy, so he drifted back to sleep.

The next time he woke up he asked the nurse on duty to remove his catheter. She argued and called the doctor who said it was okay. Tony waited until the nurse left and then stood up. His walk was slow and painful but he made it to the bathroom and whimpered painfully as he used the bathroom. He was pitifully glad that he only had to urinate. He made it back to his bed and let out a small sigh of relief. He pushed the call button and told the nurse on duty that blood showed up when he'd used the bathroom.

The rest of the night Tony dozed, watched TV and ate some of the soup they brought him for dinner.

The next morning brought a breakfast that he picked at before shoving it away. He was bored and in pain and he needed to get out of here. At his place he'd feel better, have movies he could watch. Feel safer a voice in his head whispered. The hospital was too open, people going in and out. Ari was still out there. He could return at any time. His door opened and Tony resisted the urge to thank Ducky for showing up.

"Anthony, do you need anything? I'll be more than happy to run out and get you some magazines."

Tony smiled but he knew it didn't fool Ducky. "No thanks, Ducky. I just plan to relax for the rest of day and hope they let me out of here tomorrow."

Ducky nodded and launched into a story about London, some guy, and a cane that changed into a sword. Tony couldn't stay focused on the story, though he tried. He was glad Ducky didn't take offense. Ducky made ready to leave, telling Tony he'd be happy to come visit him at his apartment. Tony took a card Ducky gave him. It was plain with only a doctor's name on it and a phone number. Tony ducked his head down, not wanting to meet Ducky's eyes.

"This doctor specializes in helping men such as yourself Tony. If you don't like him, he'll gladly recommend someone else." Ducky opened his mouth to say something else, but changed his mind and nodded at Tony before leaving.

Tony wiped at the tears that he couldn't control and put the card down on the bedside table.


Two days later Tony was released from the hospital. Gibbs had told him to call him but he called a cab. The cabbie didn't make any remarks about his bruised and pale appearance. Tony tipped him well for that. In the cool haven of his apartment the tight tension in his shoulders disappeared. He took a shower, the doctor's instructions ringing in his ears. He didn't get the bandage on his side wet but he felt better. The nail clipper was loud in his bathroom as he cut his fingernails.

His apartment was clean due to the cleaning company he had that came once a week. He walked around, touching his TV, his DVD collection, and his stereo. He sat on his leather sofa, propped his feet up and turned on the television. He waited for these things to bring him comfort, but the comfort he got was a pale imitation of what he usually felt.

Two hours later after a delivery of soup and sandwiches, Tony lay down in his bed and watched the shadows grow longer until he fell into a restless sleep.

* * *


The next four weeks were full of his well-meaning friends. They tried to either help Tony or pretend he was still the same person. He tried to pretend too, but when he was alone he had to face up to the fact that he was changed. Ari had taken something from him and he had no idea how to be the carefree man he used to be. Gibbs let him come back after two weeks and a long talk at Tony's house. He agreed to talk to a shrink and for the first time, he lied to Gibbs.

It wasn't a complete lie so maybe that was why Gibbs didn't catch him in it. He agreed to see a shrink but not the company man. He told Gibbs about the card Ducky had given him and made it seem like he'd made an appointment when in fact the card was gathering dust inside his nightstand drawer. His first day back Tony found himself down in the morgue, talking to Ducky.

Their discussion was about nothing in particular for a few minutes before Tony tried to hint and ask Ducky in a round about way if everyone in the building knew what happened to him, the details. After confusing Ducky, he was assured that everyone knew Ari had kidnapped him and beaten him but that was all. Salient details were not given out.

He'd gotten a hug from Abby and promised her they'd have a pizza night soon. He avoided the worried look in her eyes, thankful that they didn't show pity. She was hesitant when she told him she knew a few people he could talk to if he wanted her to set it up. He thanked her but refused. He didn't want to talk to anyone.

In the next few days Tony discovered his moods went from relaxed to blazingly angry in seconds. One moment he was happy, calm and the next he wanted to shoot something or someone. He started to spend a lot of time punching a bag at his gym and at the gym in NCIS headquarters. He knew Gibbs noticed. Gibbs noticed everything. Their first sparring match since the ‘incident', as Tony called it, didn't go as planned.

The first time Gibbs knocked him down and kneeled over him, Tony froze. He could hear Gibbs calling his name but he couldn't respond. The light slap to his face did nothing to break through the bone deep fear that any moment he was going to be beaten and raped again. Eventually he listened to the calm words Gibbs was saying. It sounded like he'd been saying them over and over for awhile.

"Come on, Tony. You're safe. No one is going to hurt you. I know you can hear me. Don't make me call Ducky. Come on back."

He blinked and sat up. Luckily the company gym was empty except for McGee. He stood outside the boxing ring, looking sad and scared.

Tony wiped his hand over his face. He pretended to ignore the hand Gibbs held out to help him up. He made himself stand up straight and tall. He felt proud that his knees didn't show how weak he felt. He looked down at his shoes and breathed in and out. Shit, why'd he have to freak out in front of Gibbs? Now he'd want to have a talk where he made threats and Tony got to sit there like some stupid putz. Like he couldn't keep it together. He knew what happened to agents who couldn't ‘keep it together.' They ended up doing analysis in the basement and never going out on another case. Desk duty would be like being dead.

Gibbs handed him a bottle of water. He drank the whole bottle and finally looked up and met Gibbs' eyes. They didn't hold pity and for that Tony was glad. He saw concern and anger but he didn't think the anger was directed at him. Just one more thing Gibbs couldn't protect him from. He cleared his throat.

"Sorry about that." He looked at McGee and tried to smile. "Nothing to worry about, McGee. I'm fine." McGee looked at him then at Gibbs then back at him. He nodded and gathered up his belongings.

"I'm going to hit the showers. See you two tomorrow. Night."

Tony climbed out of the ring. Gibbs climbed out after him.

"What's Dr. Patterson say about your progress?"

Tony wiped a towel over his head. "Who?"

Gibbs stopped packing his gym bag and looked at him. "The doctor you're seeing? The shrink? The one you said you would see because you didn't want to see the company one?" He moved closer and this time the anger in his eyes was directed at Tony.

Tony stepped back. "Oh, that Dr. Patterson. Well I haven't exactly made an appointment." Before Gibbs can say anything, Tony explained, "I can handle this on my own. I can! I don't need to sit down and share my feelings with anyone."

Gibbs placed a hand on his shoulder. "Yes, you do Tony. I told you seeing a shrink was part of the agreement for you to come back to work. Either you make an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Patterson or someone else, or you're on suspension."

Tony threw down his bag. He was so angry he was panting. Why did Gibbs have to do this, get involved in his business? "That's not fair. What's some shrink going to tell me? That it wasn't my fault? That I'm no less a man? I don't want to talk about it." He kicked his gym bag though he felt like kicking Gibbs. "What, I get to cry in some stuffy office while some doctor hands me tissues? Tells me it wasn't my fault, that, that, I couldn't stop it?"

He paused and tried to swallow the constriction in his throat. "It was my fault. I wasn't careful enough and he caught me." He ended up kneeling on the floor. "I should have been faster or smarter, something. I can still feel him all over me." Tony hugged himself and looked up at Gibbs. "Why'd he do that?"

Gibbs kneeled down beside him and laid a hand on his shoulder. The touch was light and when Tony didn't flinch, Gibbs pulled him closer. One hand rested on the back of Tony's neck. All at once he realized he was crying, harsh, bitter sobs that he couldn't control. Gibbs just held him, one hand rubbing his back. Tony quieted but didn't move from the position.

"I wish I could take your place, Tony. I wish it so badly, but I can't. I know you can get through this. It'll be hard, maybe the hardest thing you've ever done, but I know you won't let this bastard win." Tony stayed there on the cold hard floor.

"What if I can't beat it?" Gibbs squeezed him tighter.

"You can. I believe in you. You just need someone to talk to. Someone trained to help you. It's not a weakness, Tony, far from it. It takes courage to seek help, to let someone aid you."

Tony nodded and pulled away. He looked at Gibbs and saw nothing but concern but this proved that Tony needed something. Never in a million years would he believe he would break down like this at work, and in front of Gibbs. He grabbed his bag.

"I'll call Dr. Patterson in the morning. You can even call to double check if you want."

He left Gibbs there and went home.


* * *

Within the next four weeks Tony started to feel more like his old self. He had two sessions a week with Dr. Patterson, who turned out to be a pretty laid back guy. He didn't try and tell Tony a bunch of crap and didn't do that whole ‘answer a question with a question' thing too much. He let Tony talk about whatever he wanted to talk about. Tony learned some stress relieving techniques for when he felt overwhelmed.

At the end of their eighth session Dr. Patterson stopped him before he could walk out.

"I want you to think about something, Tony. I have five other patients that have been in similar circumstances. I think all of you could benefit from group therapy. I won't force it because I know you may not feel comfortable talking about what happened with other people there, but think about it."

Tony thought about it for two days and during his next session he told Dr. Patterson thanks, but no thanks. He didn't want to look on as other men talked about being attacked and he didn't want other men looking at him as he talked about Ari. He was still getting used to talking about it with one person. Gibbs didn't ask him any questions but as Tony began to smile and joke around more, the ex-marine relaxed.

Abby seemed happy to see him improving and he wondered if they'd all had a meeting about him. He reminded himself that if they had, it was only because they cared. McGee at times seemed uncertain but he was great at taking cues. If Tony was serious then so was he. If Tony teased him a little he took it well, and even teased Tony back. There were other changes in McGee that Tony noticed. They didn't talk about them, but he knew it was because of what happened to Kate and to him.

After a long case involving stolen cars and stupid petty officers they got the weekend off. Tony celebrated by going to one of his favorite bars. He didn't like to think about the fact that his libido had taken a hike. Within minutes of arriving he chatted up a beautiful woman named Tori. Tori was blonde, 5'9" and could keep up with Tony's growing innuendos. A few drinks, a dance or two where their bodies touched repeatedly and Tony was ready to take her home. She was ready too.

Back at his apartment there was much laughter and moans as Tori removed his clothes. A little more drunk than he'd thought, Tony happily removed hers as well. In his bed he kissed and licked Tori until she shivered. He slicked on a condom and groaned at the first heady push into her body. She was tight and wet and her fingernails lightly scratched his back as he pumped in and out of her body. Each thrust brought him closer to his climax so he made sure she got off first. His thumb brushed against her clit and he smiled.

Tori moaned his name and Tony loved it. He'd missed this so much. Somewhere in his mind a door opened and thoughts he didn't want slithered into his consciousness. At the peak of Tori's orgasm, Tony pulled out and rolled over on his back. His erection went down and he covered his face with his arm. He was drunk, embarrassed, and wished a hole would open up and swallow him. Tori realized what happened and tried to reassure him. Tony took a few minutes of her ramblings before sitting up and grabbing a pair of jogging pants. He picked up her clothes and put them beside her. He'd wanted to throw them at her when he saw the brief flash of compassion in her eyes.

She got dressed quickly and Tony called her a cab. No matter what, she was still a little tipsy and in no shape to drive. After she left he changed the sheets and took a hot shower. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and sipped at it while he sat in his living room flipping from channel to channel. Sunlight was streaming through his blinds when he finally turned the TV off. He crawled into his bed and gave a silent thanks to the makers of alcohol. He never dreamed when he went to bed drunk.

The next morning was spent trying not to throw up. Around 1p.m Tony finally felt well enough to retrieve his car from the club and run some errands. He wouldn't go back to that club for a long time. There were other clubs and plenty of women out there. Nighttime found him restless so he grabbed a few DVDs and headed out. He arrived at Gibbs and resisted thinking about why he was there. A knock on the door brought a harried looking Gibbs who eyed him a few minutes before stepping back to let him pass.

"Hey, boss. Brought some movies, brought some liquor. Thought you might need a break from that boat of yours." Gibbs continued to look at him but retrieved two cups and handed one to him.

"You know I don't have a DVD player, DiNozzo."

Tony did know that but it'd slipped his mind. He'd been focused on trying to get out of his house.

"Well, how about I keep you company while you work on your boat?"

Again Tony was treated to Gibbs' burning gaze. It was like being dissected with a scalpel. Gibbs gave him a short nod and headed back to his basement.

Two hours later Tony sat in a corner of Gibbs basement and sipped bourbon. He was less bored than he'd thought he'd be, but it may have been because of the liquor he was drinking. There was something soothing about watching Gibbs work with his hands. The smell of sawdust was everywhere but it wasn't overpowering. Gibbs left him alone and he liked that.

"Did you spend last night at home, drinking?"

Tony shrugged. "No, I went out and drank. Met a nice girl, brought her back to my place. Had embarrassing sex and she went home." He hadn't meant to say that but he was too relaxed to care. Gibbs peered at him over the ribs of his boat.

"What constitutes ‘embarrassing'?"'"

"Well, all was going great then all these thoughts just started. I mean, she barely knew me. Why would she come back to my place like that? What if I turned out to be a bad guy? What if I wanted her to do something she didn't want to do? How could she stop me?" Tony sipped some of his bourbon. He liked the way it burned as it went down. "That pretty much put a damper on my excitement, though I did make sure she had fun. Then she tried to be sympathetic and understanding. It just made me feel worse. I called her a cab, then spent the rest of the night drinking."

The only response he got was a low grunt from Gibbs.

"You think drinking is going to help?" Tony shrugged and wondered if he should go.

"Does working on your boat help? I'm already in therapy. I guess I'll have to talk about this, too. Shit." He slumped further into the hard chair. "I haven't had a drought like this since I started having sex. What if it's permanent?" He looked down at his crotch. "Hey! You better work soon. I have people to do and you have to get back on the horse, or the woman."

He heard Gibbs snort and walk closer. A hand appeared and helped him stand.

"It'll work again, DiNozzo. Maybe you should try some one on one time."

Tony nodded, too drunk to be amazed at the fact that Gibbs just told him he should jerk off. He leaned a little on Gibbs as they walked up the stairs. He headed for the phone but Gibbs pulled him towards his second bedroom. The room was neat like Tony had been expected to show up. He lay down and giggled as Gibbs took his shoes off for him. The amused look Gibbs gave him made him smile. He waggled his fingers at Gibbs.

"Thanks, Boss. You're a nice guy, but don't worry. I won't tell anyone." He hummed in pleasure at the hand that carded through his hair.

"You better not. Don't fall asleep yet." Tony kept his eyes closed but he heard Gibbs leave. A nudge to his shoulder had him opening his eyes, and sitting up a little to take the glass of water Gibbs handed him. He drank all of it and thanked Gibbs.

"Get some sleep Tony." Tony sloppily saluted him and lay back down. He sank further down into the bed as the door closed. He was almost asleep when he opened his eyes to the dark room and asked, "Did Gibbs tell me I should jack off?" There was no answer so Tony closed his eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

The next two weeks were unbelievably busy. They had two cases that took them out of town, once up to New York and then to Tennessee. Both cases were solved but it took a lot out of all three of them. Gibbs growled and harassed the locals, Tony used an enormous amount of charm to calm them down while McGee made magic with any computer he met. They got four days off, only to be called in after the third day for a big case involving the sexual assault of a female petty officer.

Tony was aware of Gibbs and McGee watching him. The woman responded to his soothing voice and quiet questioning. He offered to bring in a woman officer, but Alice Brooks just wanted to get it over with. She described her attacker as best she could remember. They caught a break when she described a tattoo she'd seen on her attacker's chest to a police sketch artist. Tony and McGee canvassed local ink parlors and found the artist on their fifth try. They got a name and description after Tony explained the punishment for withholding information.

On the way back to the office, Tony frowned at the looks McGee was giving him.

"Spit it out, Probie." McGee shook his head and stared out his window.

"Nothing to spit out, Tony." He fidgeted in his seat and blurted out his question. "How could you be so calm when you were talking to her? After what he did to her? You know what she went-" McGee stopped and out of the corner of Tony's eye he could see McGee's eyes widen and his face turn red.

"What she went through?" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah, McGee I do, but I can't let it get in the way of my job. I could go off and get angry or I could question her, get her to remember every detail of a very bad thing to the best of her ability, so we can catch this bastard." He shrugged the heavy feeling off his shoulders. "I can't let my incident get in the way of my job. How many cases do we have involving sexual assault? If I can't separate myself from it to some degree then I'm no good."

McGee nodded. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up. I'm more tired than I thought."

Tony slowed down when he realized he was driving too fast. "Don't worry about it. We got about forty-five minutes until we get back. Close your eyes, get some rest." When McGee did exactly that Tony was left alone with his thoughts and he battled them fiercely. He really wanted a drink but he was determined to fight this without the aid of liquor. That way led to a path he didn't want to walk.

Two days later they arrested Andrew Davidson. He worked with Alice and didn't take it well when she kept turning him down for a date. That night Tony beat the company punching bag so much he and it were drenched in sweat. He slept deep and didn't remember any dreams. On impulse he bought a bunch of junk food and spent the day in front of his TV watching his four favorite movies of all time.

He ate what he wanted and knocked back sodas like hard liquor. He found a porn tape he'd thought he'd lost and decided to watch it after the movies. It was as good as he remembered, not too cheesy and lots of nice women. When he got hard, he touched himself warily but kept at it. It took longer than his old jerk off sessions but when he came, he was breathing heavily, lying on his couch with a big smile on his face.

Over the next two months, Tony continued his therapy sessions. His emotional quick changes became less and less and things settled more or less back to normal. They all fell back into their normal patterns and everyone stopped treating him like he might snap. Gibbs even resumed smacking him on the back of the head and Tony laughed when he did the same to McGee. Probie always looked surprised and delighted when it happened.

The next morning Tony had a doctor's appointment and other errands to run so he was going into work later. The day was dreary with thunder rumbling ominously every few minutes. The clouds were thick and gray as he checked his mail.

He brought in his mail, frowning at a small square package made out to ‘Special Agent Tony DiNozzo.' It looked like it might be work related but it had come to his home address. The return address was blurred but he could make out a small town in New York. There was a single piece of paper inside along with a CD. The note read, ‘Dear Tony, here's a gift of our time together. I wouldn't want you to forget me-Ari.'

Tony didn't hear the CD hit the floor. He looked around his apartment before checking to make sure the front door was locked. He checked the windows before standing in the middle of his living room. He felt like there was a cold hand squeezing him from the inside. His mind flickered from one thing to another. All he could think was that Ari knew where he lived, that he could be outside right now. He grabbed his gun and walked to the blinds that covered his patio doors. A look outside didn't show any suspicious cars but that didn't mean Ari wasn't around. He was a calculating bastard.

A glint of light off the CD had Tony picking it up. He didn't want to hear what was on it but he was standing in front of his stereo system before he knew it. He pushed play and there was nothing but silence. Tony turned to go pick up the note when he heard his own voice demand Ari show himself. He froze and swallowed thickly. He couldn't move a muscle. He could only listen as the CD brought back the dread he'd felt in that warehouse. The sounds of Ari hitting him were crisp and clear. So were Ari's words.

Tony backed away from the stereo and knocked his cell phone off his table. He could hear himself screaming and Ari laughing as he raped him. He barely made it to the bathroom before he threw up. His stomach quivered as he dry heaved over and over. In one hand he still had his cell phone. He flipped it open and pressed ‘1'.

Gibbs voice was rough and grumpy. Tony pressed his phone to his ear. The ex-marine's growing impatience helped him concentrate. He cleared his throat and Gibbs stopped his questions. "Tony?"

"Yeah, boss. I-um need you to come over here." Tony wiped his face and avoided looking at his reflection. "Tony? What's going on? Are you at home?"

"Ari sent me something in the mail." Tony disconnected after Gibbs cursed and hung up with a terse, "I'm on my way."

Noises were still coming from the stereo. It sounded like the conversation had been recorded again. He stood on shaky legs, walked out of his bathroom, and turned it off.

He was in the kitchen sipping cold water when a loud knock had him setting the cup down. One look out his peep hole and he unlocked his front door. Gibbs strode in looking around, before he looked at Tony. His eyes took in the gun Tony held and the pale color of his face.

"What happened?"

Tony pointed to his stereo then at his coffee table where the note lay. When Gibbs pushed play, he excused himself and went into his bedroom. He couldn't hear it again. He heard it in his dreams all the time. He didn't need any reminders, plus he didn't want to see the look on Gibbs face. He was scanning the cars he could see out his bedroom window when Gibbs walked in. The look on his face was terrifying and Tony would bet a paycheck this was the look enemy sentries had seen in their last moments.

"You want to go to a safe house?" His situation didn't exactly call for protective custody, but if that was what Tony wanted he knew Gibbs would make it happen. He shook his head.

"No. But I don't want to stay here." Gibbs went to his closet and opened it.

"Pack some clothes. You can bed down at my place for a few days. I'll drop you off and then take the CD and letter to the lab. Maybe we can get some prints off of it."

Tony knew that was unlikely but it had to be done, had to be put into evidence. He threw pants and shirts and a few things from his bathroom into a gym bag.

Neither man spoke until they were on their way to Gibbs place. He could tell Gibbs was on alert and was taking several unnecessary roads in an attempt to throw off any tails. Tony cleared his throat.

"Don't let Abby listen to that. There's no need for her to hear what happened to me."
4
Gibbs nodded sharply. "I don't think there are any clues to be found by listening to it but if there are, I'll do it. Ari's a wily bastard and it would be like him to put a message at the end after several minutes of silence."

Tony made himself at home at Gibbs house after calling to reschedule his doctor's appointment. There wasn't much for Tony to do so he grabbed a book about Roman campaigns and stretched out to read it. He fell asleep and dreamt about killing Ari with a spear.

He woke two hours later and felt better. Maybe this would help them find Ari. The bastard wasn't perfect. He made mistakes like regular men and when they found him he was going down. Tony had been in law enforcement for a long time and he believed somewhat in the system, but the thought of Ari in jail didn't sit well with him. He knew the man would be used as a bargaining chip and the thought of him getting out of jail in exchange for someone or some type of information made his chest hurt. No, Ari needed to die.

He called Gibbs and they had a short argument about Tony coming to work. Tony won but only because he pulled the ‘I need something else to concentrate on' card. Gibbs showed up and drove him back to the office. They were stuck behind a cab when Gibbs spoke. "Why didn't you tell me he'd said those things about me, about us?"

Tony knew Gibbs would ask sooner or later. "Because you would have let it eat you up. You already blamed yourself for Kate and for Ari getting a hold of me. I wasn't going to add to it. That's what he wanted." Gibbs pulled into the parking garage.

"You should have said something. Did you talk about it with Dr. Patterson?"

Tony unhooked his seat belt. "Not really. It's not a big deal." Gibbs grabbed his arm before he could open the door.

"It is if you believed him, Tony. He was trying to ground you down, but none of what he said is true. No matter what he did, I see you, not him."

Tony wanted to pull away from the heat of Gibbs hand on his arm. He looked out the window. No one was around. "That stuff he said. About how you looked at me; about how I looked at you. He was right." Gibbs pulled him closer.

"Yes and nothing can change that." Tony wasn't sure if he was shocked that Gibbs admitted to whatever was between them, or that he wasn't freaking out more. There'd been something between him and Gibbs since they met. Some spark, some nerve jolting thing that neither talked about, but both knew was there. At first Tony thought it would go away, that it was hero-worship, but it only got stronger. Now he couldn't see his life without Gibbs in it in some way.

Tony placed his hand over Gibbs and squeezed. "We'll have to talk about this some other time."

Gibbs let him go. "Okay."

At his desk, Tony got paperwork done while Gibbs talked with Abby. He knew they were trying to track down details about the note and about the CD but he didn't want to know. If Ari were in town, he'd deal with it. If he wasn't, he'd deal with that too.


For the past hour Gibbs had been in a meeting with the Director and Tony had all his paperwork done but he needed Gibbs signature on two pieces of paper. He'd seen Gibbs and Morrow walk into MTAC twenty minutes ago. When he opened the door he let it close softly behind him. Gibbs and Morrow were arguing and Tony heard Ari's name.

"We have two confirmations that he's in Spain. Sir, I want to go after him. If we let another nation arrest him there is no guarantee they'll turn him over. I can go track him down and bring him back."

Tony could tell by Gibbs body language that he was going to win. Morrow must have known it too. He sighed. "Okay, you have two weeks to find him and bring him back. If you need additional help we can get you some from a naval base."

Gibbs nodded and started for the door. Tony slipped back out of the room and went back to his desk. He watched Gibbs sit and type and make a few phone calls. When he got up, Tony was ready. He followed Gibbs to the elevator and stepped in with him. After a count of five he pushed the stop button. He turned to Gibbs.

"Where you going, boss?" Gibbs frowned at him.

"Nowhere. What are you doing?" Suddenly Tony didn't want to play any games. At some other time he might have enjoyed messing with Gibbs until he admitted his conversation with the Director but Tony wanted to get to the facts. Convincing Gibbs was going to be hard.

"I heard you and Morrow. When do we leave?" Gibbs opened his mouth and Tony cut him off. "Don't even think you're going after him alone. I'm going and if you think you can shout and intimidate me into staying here, then you don't know me as well as you think you do." He stepped closer to Gibbs. "I'm going. The only question is, are we going together or do I have to follow you?"

Gibbs looked at him, blue eyes intense and pulling him apart as if he could see into his soul. "You do what I say, when I say."

Tony smiled, the pressure in his chest dissolving. "That's nothing new." He was excited. It felt like old times. He felt like his old self. He pushed the start button.

After picking up some take out, he and Gibbs made it to Gibbs' house. While they ate, Tony learned the plan. Ari had been spotted in Mataro, a city up the coast from Barcelona, Spain. The plan was for them to land in Barcelona and make their own way to Mataro in the hope that Ari wouldn't see them coming.

Gibbs cleaned up their leftover food. "We grab him and bring him to the nearest naval base. Then we get our asses back here and prosecute him for so much stuff he spends the rest of his life rotting in some cell."

Tony nodded. He wondered if sexual assault would show up on the list of charges. Gibbs seemed to read his mind. "I don't know what Ari will say Tony, but the official charges against him concerning you will be kidnapping and assault. Are you prepared if he tells some FBI or CIA officials what he did?"

Tony shrugged. "If I'm not, I'll have to be. He doesn't get to use that to intimidate me or embarrass me. If it gets out, it gets out."

Gibbs stepped closer and curled his hand around the back of Tony's neck. He brought their foreheads together. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Believe that."

The warmth from Gibbs hand spread throughout Tony's body. It calmed him down but made him want more. He ignored the slight shake in his arms as he pulled Gibbs closer and laid his head on Gibbs shoulder. Hands slid around his waist and held him tight. Tony had no idea how long they stayed like that, absorbing strength from each other for the days ahead. He smiled to himself when Gibbs kissed him lightly and quickly. "Time for bed. We have some errands to run tomorrow before we catch that plane."

Tony didn't have to tell Gibbs he needed some time alone, he seemed to know. He needed to think about the change in their relationship, so he went to bed in the guestroom while Gibbs slept in his own room.

The next day was busy and they didn't get a chance to rest until they were on the plane. Gibbs fell asleep and Tony watched him. ‘This is the one,' Tony thought. All his adult life he'd been searching for someone who would put him first and he'd found that person in his male, coffee addicted, ex-military boss. He shook his head. Fate was laughing at him, but he didn't care.

They landed at night and Tony followed Gibbs to a small hotel. They were staying under the radar and there were no plans to contact the locals or the nearest naval base unless it was absolutely necessary. The room had only one bed but Tony was so tired he didn't care. He used the bathroom and washed his face before he fell asleep in his boxers.

When he woke up the sun was leaking in through the shutters and one of his hands was on Gibbs chest. He left it there and felt the crisp gray and brown curls glide under his fingers. A hand brushed through the hair on his own chest and Tony looked up into blue eyes that lazily studied him. After a few minutes, Gibbs cleared his throat. "We should get going. I have a friend or two I can call and they'll keep it off the books."

Tony nodded, then shivered uncontrollably when Gibbs fingers skimmed across his nipple. It felt good, a little strange, and he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Gibbs was doing this. A thumb traced his collarbone and Tony opened his eyes. Gibbs gave him a heated smile and asked, "Too much?"

Tony shook his head. "It's good. Very good."

Gibbs sighed regretfully and got out of bed. "We'll have to revisit this later. I'll grab a shower, then hunt down some coffee."

Tony stretched out in the bed, his hands tucked behind his head. He dozed as he listened to the shower. When Gibbs had touched him his stomach had felt funny, almost queasy. The closest thing he could compare it to was the first kiss he'd gotten from his first girlfriend. He laughed at the thought of telling that to Gibbs.

There was no time in the next three days for anything but a brief touch or a quick kiss. Between Gibbs' mysterious contacts and keeping in contact with Abby and McGee they were able to travel up the coast to Mataro. The hotels they stayed in were older and probably not featured in many travel magazines. On the fourth night they met one of Gibbs' contacts in a dark smoky club. There was a rumor that Ari was putting together a small terrorist cell. An address was handed over and Gibbs thanked his friend before he and Tony left.

That night Tony kissed Gibbs until his lips felt sore and bruised. He reveled in Gibbs' hands touching him, learning where to touch him. They fell asleep tangled together, Tony's head on Gibbs' chest.

They were out of the hotel before dawn. The address they'd been given took them to the still empty downtown district. They stopped beside an older building that proclaimed it as a meat packaging plant. The door was open. The place was empty with only a few lights that didn't cover the eerie shadows in the corner. Gibbs stopped beside a long black suitcase. Tony knew what it was. He wondered if Gibbs friend had left it or someone else. There were a lot of people out there that hated Ari. There was note inside with the high powered rifle. Gibbs read it and crumpled it up. He headed across the room to some stairs.

"The note said Ari will best be visible from the roof." Tony nodded.

"Do I want to know who left the note and the rifle?" Gibbs looked at him and then turned to climb the stairs.

"No."

They made the climb in silence. The roof door wasn't locked, just like the front door. Outside the air was hot, but clean smelling. Without Gibbs telling him he went one direction while Gibbs went the other. Tony didn't see any activity on any of the other roofs. He met up with Gibbs on the far side of the roof. There was a huge old air conditioning system set up and Gibbs stood behind it. The suitcase was open and Gibbs had a pair of binoculars out, slowly scanning. When he stopped, his entire body vibrated. Tony knew he was looking at Ari.

He held out a hand and Gibbs handed over the binoculars. Looking into them, Tony saw Ari. He didn't know what he'd do when he saw the other man but it wasn't as horrible as his dreams and thoughts had made it out to be. There were two other men talking with the terrorist. None of them were looking around. They probably had scoped out the landscape earlier and thought themselves safe.

Tony put down the binoculars. His breathing was still calm, his mind quietly turning over strategies. He was thinking clearly. "Are we going to shoot him?" Tony thought it was a just fate for Ari. He'd shot Kate, took her life without warning. Gibbs studied him but Tony didn't meet his eyes.

"The gun was here in case we needed it. I want to see this bastards face as we drag him back to the United States." Tony was silent.

"He won't go quietly, boss. You know that. Plus there's no telling what kind of booby traps he has set over there. He'd love to take you with him if it turns into a situation he can't win." Gibbs was checking his handgun.

"Then I shoot him. I look him in the eye, so he knows it's me." Gibbs started for the door that would lead them back down the stairs. Tony stood there. He enjoyed the breeze that blew around him. The breeze died down and he knelt and began putting the gun together. It was a basic design and in a few minutes he had it loaded. He looked through the scope and aimed at Ari. He was laughing at something, the men with him laughing too.

This was the man who'd smashed his life into pieces. He'd continue to do so for as long as he was alive. Tony wasn't his only victim but he could give them all justice right now. He took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. The sound was so quiet. Tony watched as Ari fell, a hole in the middle of his forehead. The two men looked at Ari's body, then looked wildly around. They didn't spot Tony and headed for the exit.

Tony took the gun apart and noticed there was a small white handkerchief in a pocket in the suitcase. He used it to wipe down the gun before putting it away. He knew Gibbs was standing beside him. He hadn't heard the door to the roof close, so Gibbs had watched him shoot Ari. After he was done wiping the binoculars down, Tony closed the case and stood up. He met somber blue eyes. His heartbeat slowed down when he saw Gibbs wasn't angry, just waiting.

"I know you wanted to take him back or at least look him in the eye as you shot him but this way was the best way." Gibbs eyed him and didn't say anything.

"How did you know I wanted to kill him up close?" Tony shook his head.

"You knew how dangerous he was. You knew Ari would spend little time in jail before he was traded for something another department decided they needed. They didn't know Kate, they don't know me. They wouldn't have cared how many people Ari had killed or would kill in the future." Tony's voice hardened. "I had as much right to kill him as anybody."

He looked down at his hands. Ari wasn't the first person he'd killed but this was the first time it seemed so planned. He felt numb, hollowed out. He'd live with it. "I didn't kill him because of what he did to me. I killed him because he wouldn't have stopped." Gibbs nodded and held out his hand for the now cloth wrapped suitcase handle. Tony handed it over and together they walked to the roof door and down the steps.


A car was waiting for them, driven by the same man they'd talked to in the bar last night. Gibbs climbed in the front while Tony climbed in the back. The car drove off but didn't head for their hotel. The man spoke his accent American with only a hint of Spanish.

"Your belongings from the hotel are packed and in the trunk. I'll take you to a private airfield. From there I will fly you to the Rota, Spain. You can get a ride back to the U.S. from there."

Tony spoke up. "Why can't we just fly commercial?" Speculative green eyes met his in the rearview mirror.

"We do not know the repercussions yet of Haswari's death. It is better if you fly from the U.S. base." Tony nodded.

"Okay." Tony beat a staccato rhythm with his fingers against his thigh. He couldn't believe Ari was dead. The man had hunted his dreams for what seemed like years. He'd erased the man but knew he would still have the occasional nightmare. The sun was high in the sky by the time they made it to the private airfield. Tony handled what little belongings he and Gibbs had brought. Gibbs had been silent during the ride. He gestured at the black suitcase and his friend shook his head. "I will take care of it."

On the small plane he found bottled water and some fruit. He bit into a cold sweet apple and ate it quickly. Gibbs peeled an orange and ate it section by section. Tony didn't try to hide his appreciation as Gibbs slipped each juicy piece of orange between his lips. Their eyes met and Gibbs smirked at him.
"Get some sleep, Tony. We should be in Rota in about four hours."

Tony got as comfortable as he could in the chair. "Do you think I'll dream about it?" Gibbs was silent. Tony finally looked at him. Gibbs met his eyes.

"No." Tony nodded and closed his eyes. He slept with no dreams. He woke up when the plane landed and watched as Gibbs stretched the kinks out of his body. He swallowed thickly at the thought that he got to touch that lean rangy body anytime he wanted. Gibbs friend came into the seating area and announced that it was time to go.

"We are two miles from the base. They are expecting you."

Another car was waiting. Gibbs took the keys from his friend. They spoke quietly while Tony stored their luggage in the trunk. Tony moved up beside Gibbs and they watched the man get back on his plane. Tony was past curious about this guy. "He a good friend?" Gibbs started the car.

"He can be." The short drive was made in silence. Sergeant Whittington met them at the naval station. He explained that a plane was leaving in five hours, headed for New York. They already had permission to be on board. Gibbs nodded his thanks. The room they were shown had two twin beds and a small bathroom. Gibbs asked about food and the Sergeant promised someone would come by with dinner.

The food was pretty good or maybe Tony was just hungry. He wolfed down the food while Gibbs picked at his. The events of the day had been stressful but Tony wasn't really feeling much of anything. He wanted to know what Gibbs was feeling, though it was doubtful the ex-marine would tell him. "You angry with me?" Gibbs ate a small piece of chicken.

"No. I wish there had been another way but I can't see how another outcome would have worked. I didn't want his blood on your hands." Tony gulped the rest of his water.

"You ever think I didn't want the same for you? I know you have no problem with shooting someone that's a threat, but at that moment Ari wasn't. I didn't want him to become one and risk you getting killed." Tony paced the small confines of the room. "When I pulled that trigger, it felt good. Better than anything I'd dreamed or imagined since Ari kidnapped me." He ran a hand through his hair. He was breathing hard and knew his eyes were wide with panic. Shit, this was not the time to have a reaction. He looked at Gibbs. "Do you think that makes me a bad person?" Gibbs sat at the end of one of the twin beds. He'd removed his jacket.

"What do you think?" Tony stepped closer. The air was filled with something. He could almost taste the anticipation in the air.

"I think I don't care. Not right now."

They stared at one another and as the moment stretched out Tony wanted more than a quick kiss or a few brief touches. He needed more and Gibbs knew it. This may not have been the wisest place but everything in Tony screamed now. He climbed into Gibbs lap and straddled him. They kissed slowly, their tongues tangling. Tony wasn't afraid to let Gibbs take control. When Tony became the aggressor, Gibbs relaxed and let him touch where he wanted. Tony teased Gibbs by kissing him with short hard nibbles before diving deep into Gibbs mouth for a slower kiss. He traced the lean hard body that sat still for him.

To Tony, Gibbs was perfect. A warrior, one who would give his life for the people he was sworn to protect. He massaged Gibbs chest while licking the side of his neck. One spot near Gibbs shoulder made his body twitch so Tony returned there again and again. He let one hand rest on Gibbs stomach but didn't go any lower. He didn't really know what to do next so he asked. "Show me what you like?"

Gibbs pulled Tony off his lap and laid him down. The bed made it a tight fit but they both pressed closer and made it work. He took Tony's hand and showed him how to hold his hard on. How to pump it slowly before stopping to squeeze the head. The room was dark and the only sounds were their breathing as it sped up and got louder. Time seemed to stop while Tony continued to stroke and rub Gibbs.

While one hand was busy teaching Tony, Gibbs other hand snaked around Tony's head and pulled him closer for another kiss. Their tongues twisted and rubbed together over and over. A groan from Gibbs filled Tony's mouth. He felt Gibbs hips jerk and wet warmth covered his hand. He slowed down the stroking, but couldn't stop the smile from spreading on his face as Gibbs panted.

Even in the dimly lit room, Tony wasn't surprised that Gibbs hand landed on his cock. He shivered and pushed into Gibbs warm, lightly callused hand. He never thought another man holding him would be so hot. His blood flowed in a familiar rhythm and Tony wanted to shout loudly. His entire body hummed with arousal. When Gibbs moved down until he was between his legs Tony was confused. The first warm slick touch on his cock had his hips bucking in shock. Gibbs laid one arm over his hips and repeated the gesture. He looked up and Tony could barely make out the desire shining from his eyes. "This okay?" The question was followed by another slow lick.

Tony nodded. "Oh god, yes." He was surprised by the way his voice whined and moaned as Gibbs continued to lick and suck him. When Gibbs agile tongue flickered over the slit on his head, Tony gasped. It felt unbelievably good. He wanted to come but he didn't want Gibbs to stop. He could easily get addicted to this. He groaned as his balls were sucked and nibbled on. He couldn't remember the last time he'd received so much attention.

Tony lost himself in wave after wave of pleasure from Gibbs lips and tongue. His hands were busy too. One softly traced designs on Tony's hips while the other squeezed and caressed the base of his dick. He didn't think it could get any better but when he was deep throated, his world exploded. He knew his eyes were open but he couldn't see anything. He was blind, deaf and mute. He felt like he was floating and he could only grin when Gibbs appeared beside him, a smug smile on his face. He grabbed one of Gibbs hands and brought it to his lips. He kissed long fingers and whispered, "Thank you." Gibbs pulled him closer.

"No, thank you." He slapped Tony's hip. "Let's get some sleep before we get too sappy."


Tony didn't think he'd sleep but closed his eyes after whining about resting earlier on the plane. He shifted further down onto the thin mattress and let out a relaxed sigh. In what felt like a few minutes, a hand brushed against his face and he woke up. Gibbs smiled briefly at him and told him to get ready while he hunted down some coffee. Tony wiped his hand across his face and scratched his head. He couldn't believe he'd fallen asleep. He performed a quick wash up and changed shirts.

Their second plane ride was noisy and long. The breakfast and coffee he'd wolfed down stayed in his stomach but it was a close thing. He looked over and Gibbs had his eyes closed, a look of peace across his face. Tony remembered Gibbs telling him that priority rides reminded him of being the corps.

When they got home, Tony didn't think a lot of questions would be asked. The way the entire trip had been arranged so quickly and quietly made Tony suspect that people higher up than Director Morrow would be receiving confirmation that Ari was no longer among the living. Hell, those same people had probably known before he and Gibbs had left Spain.

His life had been irrevocably changed but he was still here. He had a sound mind and body, plus people who cared for him. He looked at Gibbs and smiled. Maybe even loved him. Ari had set out to take something away from him but he'd failed. He wasn't his victim anymore. He was a survivor and nothing could take that from him. Tony leaned back and smiled. He wondered how long it would take him to convince Gibbs they should go on vacation together.


The End.