She could practically see the curiosity hanging around Tony’s head in a cloud when he picked her up from Ziva’s that morning. As soon as she was settled in the passenger side of the Mustang and they were pulling away from the apartment building he turned off the music and sent a quick smirk her way. "So?"
She leaned back, folded her hands in front of her and effected her best innocent angel expression. "So what?"
"So spill all the gory details of what's been pissing off Ziva. Then spill all the wonderful details of how you made it all better. All the details, with as much clarity as you can manage."
"Go to hell." She giggled. "There was no sex, I already told you that."
"I didn't believe you," he defended himself.
"Starbucks?" she asked, hopefully.
"You have a serious problem, Abby."
"Gibbs--"
"Is special."
"Are you saying I'm not special?" She pouted at him.
"Yes. Of course. You're a unique snowflake."
She leaned back in her seat, satisfied. "Damn straight. Anyway. All I could get out of her was that there's something the Director is making her keep secret from Gibbs, and she's having moral issues with it."
"Must be big if she's letting it show so much around Gibbs," Tony pondered.
"Or she's hoping he'll notice and confront her," Abby suggested.
"She should've figured out by now that Gibbs doesn't do warm fuzzy emotional moments. Are you buying?"
"Yeah, sure. Maybe she's subconsciously expecting Madam Director to realize what a toll keeping the secret is taking on her and let up about telling Gibbs?"
"Or it could be something so important that it actually bothers her enough to interfere with her work."
Abby frowned. "Did you know she has nightmares?"
"Yeah. When we had to go undercover at that hotel she barely slept. You heard the thing about the snoring, right? She was faking it. Probably specifically to irritate me and make it impossible for me to sleep. I didn't tell her I knew, I didn't want to embarrass her about whatever reason she didn't want to sleep with me-not like that."
"Yeah. She had one last night, sounded pretty bad. I… may have pretty much invaded her bed so I could try and get her to go back to sleep."
"That's simultaneously sickeningly sweet and disturbingly naughty of you," he commented dryly. She sighed, adopting a hurt expression.
"You doubt my motives were anything but pure?!"
"She didn't kill you. Maybe you've got a chance." Abby curled up in her seat, boots wedged against the side of the door.
"I told you I got her to come tonight, right?"
"This is the part where I avoid the many witty and inappropriate responses I've got for that."
She sighed. "How about you congratulate me on my ability to make a Mosad assassin do what I tell her to?"
"Your ego's doing quite fine on its own, actually. But thanks all the same."
"Fine, fine. Just sit over there, fantasizing about Ziva and I… apparently it's all you're good for…"
"Okay." Tony nodded amiably.
A moment passed in silence.
"Tony? …Tony. Tony watch!"
"Fuck!" The car swerved, just avoiding the truck barreling down on them, going the wrong way on a one way street. Abby blew out a sharp breath, glaring first at the truck, then once it had vanished from sight, at Tony.
"Jesus Christ. Was he drunk?"
Tony appeared shaken. "I don't know. Thanks, Abs."
"Starbucks," she pointed a couple minutes later.
"Very good, you can read.”
“I need the caffeine. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“There’re only so many sex jokes I can make, Abs.”
“Are we driving together tonight?”
He pulled around to the drive through. “Sure. But you should pick me up.”
“Obviously. I’m not riding in the back seat of this thing.”
He ordered coffee and food for them both, and she remained silent as he drove forward and paid. “She’s not going to go all Emo because I didn’t stay this morning, is she?”
Tony snorted. “End that train of thought right there. She’s probably glad she doesn’t have to face you after whatever happened between you guys last night.”
Abby nodded, picking at the corner of the paper bag. “So what were you doing last night that prevented you from coming to rescue me?”
“You did not need rescuing; don’t even pretend otherwise. I was trying to score with a stunning brunette named Veronica.” The name rolled off of his tongue with particular relish. Abby rolled her eyes.
“You should try commitment sometime, Tony. It’s fun.”
He held up a hand. “Tell me that when you’ve been in a relationship for more than three months.”
“I was!”
“Once.”
“Yes, but that was a big one. We were engaged and everything.”
“You were also in your first year of college, and it didn’t exactly end up all flowers and bunnies and rainbows, now did it?”
She flinched. “I’d rather not talk about that.”
“Sorry, sorry. I know. But you get what I’m saying about commitment?”
“There’s a difference between not committing and fucking a different woman every night.”
“I like to explore my options. And they know what’s going on, I’m not breaking any hearts.”
“Keep telling yourself that. One day you’ll believe it.”
They didn’t speak again until he dropped her outside of her building, and then only the minimum amount of words necessary for her to thank him for the ride.
XXX
When Ziva opened the door to Abby that evening the Goth’s first reaction was the urge to kill whoever had put the look of utter defeat on the other woman’s face. Apparently Gibbs was rubbing off on her " not exactly a bad thing, in her opinion.
“What happened?”
Ziva glared at the door frame. “Nothing. It’s that obvious?”
Abby stared at her. “Telling me nothing happened and then asking if it’s obvious that you’re depressed? Totally contradicts itself. It was the Director, wasn’t it?”
She brushed past Ziva into the apartment, throwing her jacket at the closet and missing. Ziva closed the door, leaning against it, hands folded in front of her. “Please, come in. Please, assume that my best friend is responsible for my depression which doesn’t exist. …Please, influence my speech patterns.”
Abby snatched her hands, walking backwards as she dragged her toward the bedroom. “I’m good at invading your apartment. It’s a skill, I need to cultivate it. And I don’t know why you’re defending her. And… you totally are depressed and it’s not my fault I’m so infectious.”
“Are you planning to have your wicked way with me?” Ziva asked, jerking her head toward the bedroom.
Abby nodded immediately. “Obviously.”
Her phone vibrated against her hip. She pulled it out, simultaneously pushing Ziva into the room. “What, Tony?”
“Are you at Ziva’s?” he asked.
“Yeah. Having my wicked way with her and playing councilor. Where are you?”
She walked over to the closet, beginning to rifle through Ziva’s clothes as she listened. “Having a crisis of faith.”
“Blue shirt, black leather jacket.”
“That’s actually scary.”
She through a black skirt at the bed behind her, and glanced back at Ziva. “Strip.”
On the other end of the line, Tony choked on something and spent a few seconds coughing up a lung. “What the hell are you doing to her?”
“Picking out her clothes. Jesus, Tony, would you stop thinking about sex for ten seconds?”
“Kind of hard with you around.”
She grinned. “Really? I’m flattered.”
“And people say I’m the king of sexual innuendo.”
“You walked into that one.”
“I accept that. When will you be here?”
She glanced at her watch. “Give us twenty minutes to get her ready, then another fifteen to get over there.”
“Alright. I’m sure Ashley and I can keep ourselves entertained in the interim.”
“You know her name? I’m impressed.”
“One day I’m going to snap under all the abuse you people put me through. I think it’s important that I warn you of that now.”
“I’ll come visit you every day in the loony bin.”
“You’d better. And it’d be even better if you could wear a nurse’s uniform.”
“I’ve actually got one, you know.”
“I do know.”
“Oh.”
“McGee and I bonded. It was good.”
“Oh my God.”
“We’ll discuss this later, Amber’s just arrived.”
“I thought you said"“
“Bye, Abs.”
She flipped her phone shut and took her armful of clothes back over to the bed where Ziva stood, wrapped in a robe. Abby grinned. “Good girl. Now, black and green or black and white?”
“It was the Director,” Ziva said instead. Abby picked up the black skirt and pushed it into her hands.
“Yeah. What’d she do?”
“Nothing I can tell you about.”
“Can you tell Gibbs?”
Ziva zipped the skirt and Abby handed her a green shirt with a neckline that bordered on indecent. “Of course not.”
“I really hate all the secret “need to know” government bull. Gibbs is God and therefore if Madam Director is splitting your loyalties and compromising your effectiveness, he should know.”
Ziva blinked, and stared at her. Abby shifted, getting defensive. “What? I can be professional. And Gibbs so is God, you know it.”
Ziva shrugged and turned away, inspecting herself in the mirror. Abby delved into her bag with one hand, holding up the other. “Hang on, hang on.” She came up holding a pair of black fishnets and a thick silver chain. “You could’ve picked this out on your own. I told you I’d help you get ready so I could add my own touches.”
“I don’t think"“
“And I don’t care. You said I could dress you up.” Abby allowed her bottom lip to extend in a tiny pout, knowing that Ziva could see it in their reflection.
“I assume it will be appropriate for where we are going?”
Abby nodded. “Relatively. Not conspicuous, at least.”
“Tony is going to have a field day with this,” Ziva sighed, but she reached back for the stockings nonetheless. Abby grinned to herself.
“So what’re you going to do about her?” the Goth asked. Ziva straightened, shaking her head.
“It’s not my place to question a superior, Abby. I’ll do exactly what she wants me to do.”
Abby stepped in close behind her, looping the chain around her neck and brushing her hair aside to fasten the clasp. “Has Gibbs taught you nothing? Question authority! Break rules! Remember, it’s always easier to ask forgiveness than permission.”
Ziva shook her head again. “She’s not only my superior, she’s also my friend. I would be breaking that trust.”
“Yeah. She seems like a fantastic friend, alright.”
“I’d rather not talk about this right now,” Ziva snapped, walking away to the night table to retrieve her hair brush. Abby set about returning the alternate clothing options to the closet, taking the time to get her frustration back under control. If Ziva wanted to make stupid choices, then she could damn well make stupid choices. It wasn’t like she wasn’t an adult, and nor was Abby an expert on making the right choice. When she turned back Ziva was lining her eyes in heavy black, and Abby nodded approvingly.
“Awesome. We’re picking up Tony and his date --whose name remains a mystery"on our way. Do you have any particular need to come back here tonight?”
Ziva glanced at her, surprised. “No.”
“You may as well stay at my place afterwards, then. It’s closer, less driving. So… it makes more sense for you to do that. And I’ve crashed here twice now so I figure it’s about time I returned the favour. Assuming that you want to come, that is, and if you don’t that’s totally cool and I’m not saying that I’m not willing to drive you back here. Because I am, really, it’d be no trouble at all"“
Ziva cut her off, warm fingers brushing across her painted lips, barely touching but bringing a stop to her babble immediately. Ziva’s hand dropped away, and she smiled reassuringly at the taller woman. “I will stay with you, Abby.”
Abby nodded, feeling her cheeks heat up and her lips tingle from the contact. “Right. Good. Well, I’m just gonna… leave you to finish getting ready, now. You have boots, right?”
Ziva frowned. “I’d prefer something a little more practical.”
Abby shook her head, glad to be back on solid ground. “Practical is boring. We’re going out to have fun.”
Ziva acquiesced far more easily than Abby expected, pulling out a pair of elegant black boots, butter soft leather and spike heels. Abby licked her lips when the other woman walked out of the bedroom, lips coloured a deep shade of red, hips forced to move in a sway by the heels. “You look stunning, sweetheart.” Abby knew that her accent was slipping through but she didn’t care, not with the other woman standing before her looking like sex on legs.
“This will do?” Ziva asked.
Abby inclined her head. “I’ll be the envy of all my friends.”
“You planning to put me on a leash, then?” Ziva teased. Abby swore mentally. It figured that, out of all the music Abby listened to and tended to quote, she would know that particular song.
“Kinky.”
They left after an argument about the need for a jacket with Ziva’s revealing shirt (which Abby won) and another regarding the need for Ziva to bring her gun, which she lost. By the time they got to Tony’s, Abby wasn’t sure it was such a good idea for Ziva to return to her apartment after all. Her evening was going to be torturous enough without adding the temptation of the Israeli right there in her home all night.
Author's Chapter Notes:
In which Abby and Tony discuss relationships, and Abby is protective