"No, no, Don't....Tony. NO!"
"Zoe, Zoe, wake up."
Tony was shaking her and her eyes snapped open wide in fear.
She looked around for a few moments.
"You had a nightmare."
He explained softly and she sighed.
He looked intensly at her, thinking about every word.
"Zoe, don't you think you should go to a councelor or something?"
Zoe looked surprised at him.
"Tony, I had one nightmare."
"Zoe, I know it's not the first. You have nearly every night one."
She had thought she was hiding it good. Everytime when she woke up from the scene in the forrest or the "job" or the day she'd found Gibbs and killed Jetson, she got up and went to the kids. But she suddenly had the feeling that it was stupid to think Tony wouldn't notice, since he was sleeping next to her.
"You know, I had that suspicion before but now it's pretty clear."
He said calmly.
"Tony, I got through a cold turkey and fifteen years with Jetson without any therapy. I can handle a few nightmares."
"Yeah but now we have kids. And maybe it would have been better to go to a therapy then, too."
He wasn't surprised that Gibbs hadn't sent her there.
"I just want you to be fine."
Zoe nodded slowly.
"Let's talk about that when we're at home."
Tony nodded and they went back to sleep.
"No, McGee."
"Yes, Abby!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Hey guys!"
Zoe and Tony entered the apartment where Abby and McGee were arguing about something. They immidiatly stopped when the other two came in.
"How was the reunion?"
Abby asked innocently.
"Quite good. What are you up to?"
Tony asked suspicious.
"You know there was a call from the church."
McGee answered.
"So?"
"They told us that you can have the church on october the eighteenth."
"Oh, that's great news!"
Zoe said cheered up and made a note into her PDA. She was still using it even she wasn't working.
"Something else?"
Tony asked.
"Well, we thought you are going to marry on the eleventh."
"Yeah we are."
"Yeah, and we,"
he got a glare from Abby.
"I wanted to ask what you need the church for a week later."
Tony and Zoe now changed glares.
"Ok, we wanted to talk to you about it anyway so, sit down."
Abby and McGee were nervous. What was coming now.
"Since I'm catholic we decided to christenize them. And..."
he looked up at Zoe who stood beside his chair.
"We wanted to ask you two, Ducky and Jimmy to become godfathers and godmother."
She finished for him.
"That's great!" McGee beamed.
"You ask Jimmy?"
"Have to."
Answered Tony and Zoe smacked him on his head.
"Jimmy is a good friend since Tony was in the hospital. He was often there!"
"We want you all as close to family for them as possible."
Tony continued.
The next day seemed to last forever. All Tony wanted was to get home to Zoe and the kids.
When he entered the apartment at 4 PM the kids lay in their beds, neither sleeping, nor crying and Zoe had fell asleep over the laundry.
He softly shook her.
"Hey Honey."
She slowly opened her eyes.
"Hey baby."
She turned on the bed and looked up at her.
"Will you come down to me, or do I have to get you?"
Tony got onto the bed on his hand and knees.
She looked sleepy at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Hi, Baby!"
They kissed. When they broke for air Tony rested his forehead against hers.
"You're hot honey."
"Thanks!"
She chuckled.
"No, I mean your forehead!"
He put a hand on it then on her cheeks.
"You're running a fever."
"I'm not!"
She sat up and put her own hand on her forehead.
"See, I'm not."
"Hon, you don't feel it but believe me!"
He got into the bathroom and took the thermometer.
"Under your tongue."
"Tony, I really..."
"Humor me, baby."
She opened her mouth and took it under her tongue.
"You know..."
"Don't speak!"
After a minute he took it out.
"Ok, that's it! I'm calling your doctor."
"No, Tony, I'm fine."
"Your running a high grade fever. I'll call your doc right now! And you stay in bed!"
"Tony, I'm really ok!"
"You fell asleep over the laundry!"
"I have twin babies!"
She tried to get up but everything was spinning around her and Tony could only catch her before hitting the floor.
"See? You stay in bed, I'm calling the doc!"
After half a hour the doctor came out of the bedroom and talked to Tony.
"Well, Mr. DiNozzo. She's running a high fever, her stomach is very sensitive for touch and after quite a while she admitted that she had thrown up. Her skin is slightly yellow."
"So, what does that mean?"
"I think it could be yellow fever or pyelitis. Anyway we have to move her to the hospital and check her properly."
"Ok, I'll get her there."
"Oh, no Mr.DiNozzo. We'll call the ambulance since she can't sit without nausea."
"Ok. But I'll come with you."
While the doctor made a call Tony made Gibbs watch the kids. He promised to call as soon he knew more and then drove with Zoe to the hospital.
Tony sat annoyed in the waiting area. As much the doctor understood that Tony came with them in the ambulance he didn't let Tony stay while the examinations. He started to pace up and down the room when Abby, McGee, Kelly and Gibbs with the kids arrived.
"They're in there for a hour now! What the hell are they doing?"
Tony silently talked to Gibbs while rocking his daughter.
"Calm down, Tony! She's gonna be fine."
Just then the doc entered the room. He wanted to talk to Tony privately and since Kelly was in the room Tony and Gibbs followed him out of the room.
"Please, sit down."
He offered the men eats in front of his desk.
"As I suspected Mr.DiNozzo, Zoe has a pyelitis. It seems that she has it for some time already."
The voice of the doctor was calm but Tony could hear the worry.
"What does that mean?"
"Well, normally, when we recognize it early it's no problem. We can get it under control with antibiotics. But since she has it for maybe two weeks it's getting too heavy for those. Her kidneys start to suffer. More over we recognized that her immune system isn't as strong as normal, well it never was and now everything effects her. Even a small cold could turn into a pneumonia."
"You're trying to say that it could be that she..."
"It's possible, Mr.DiNozzo."
Tony sighed deeply. She can't die right now, not on this way.
"We are doing our best."
"Is it infectious?"
Gibbs asked.
"No, I don't think so. Only by intense physical contact. That's why I think it's the best if we test you, too, Mr. DiNozzo."
Tony nodded slowly.
"Thank you!"
Gibbs shook hands with the doc and somehow brought Tony back into the waiting area.
He explained everything to the other adults, Ducky has shown up lately and tried to comfort Tony before he was called for his examination.
Tony sat at her bed. He had his feet in slipper and they rested on her bed next to her hip. He was dressed in a hospital PJ. His eyes were focused on her face. He had get everybody that crazy that they gave him a room with her together.
He had an infection but not as heavy as Zoe and was on antibiotics, actually he wouldn't have to stay but he didn't want to leave Zoe.
She had a lot of heavy meds in so she slept nearly all day.
But right now she opened her eyes slowly.
"Hey, Honey."
Her voice was raspy.
"Hey."
"You're sick, hon?"
She looked sleepy at him. The infusion was running slowly, the monitors on her side making quiet sounds.
"Little infection, nothing major."
"Got it from me?"
He nodded.
"Tony, I need you to know something..."
"No, Zoe, don't."
"Tony, it's about my will..."
"Zoe, you don't have to tell me that."
She tried a smile but failed.
"The doc told me, Tony. He told me about my condition. And to be honest, it's not getting better."
"I know, but it will change!"
He remembered the time he had to stay in isolation because of the plaque two years ago. Now he understood how Kate had felt.
"Tony, why are you here?"
"I'm sick, too."
Zoe slowly shook her head.
"I know you! You're not that sick that you have to stay. I see it in your eyes."
"No, Zoe, I have an infection and I'm on antibiotics."
"Yeah, but you don't need to be here!"
Tony knew that to talk was a huge exhaustion at the moment so he didn't want to argue with her.
"Rest a bit honey."
He said calming sitting up to stroke her forehead. She still had fever but it got down a bit by the drugs.
"Baby about the will..."
"Zoe, please..."
"It's because of the kids."
Tony looked at her eyes. He hadn't thought about the kids.
"Since we aren't married I have to put in that you'll get them."
"You haven't changed it?"
"Didn't got to it yet. Please make my lawyer come by tomorror."
"Zoe, there's no need..."
"Tony!"
They stared at eachother for a few moments.
"Ok, I'll give him a call tomorror."
In that moment a nurse got into the room.
"Mr.DiNozzo, You really should get into your own bed now!"
"I'll stay where I am!"
He barked at the young woman.
"Give us a few minutes."
Zoe said nicely.
"Tony, don't bark at the staff! She's not the one to blame."
He took her hand.
"I will not lose you, ok? You will not die!"
"I will, some day."
"Yeah, some day, but not now. And not as a Jetson! Did I make myself clear?"
Zoe nodded.
He kissed her softly. No tongue but love filled her.
He rested his head against her burning forehead and she drifted into sleep again.
Tony had to go two days later. Gibbs had to get some work done and couldn't watch the kids and Zoe had forced him to go.
Her condition was getting worse and he hated it to leave her there.
When he stepped into the hospital a week later the doctor awaited him in front of her room.
"Mr.DiNozzo, could I have a word with you?"
Tony slowly followed him into his office, knowing that this didn't mean anything good.
"It's not getting better, right?"
"I'm afraid, no."
Tony nodded slowly.
"How are the chances?"
The doctor looked onto the tabletop.
"That bad, eh?"
Tony asked pressing out a false laugh.
"Mr.DiNozzo, I'm sorry but I don't think she'll make it."
That was it. That was the moment. Tony's heart didn't only sank into his feet it seemed to implode in his chest.
"Zoe, will...? How long?"
"Maybe two weeks, maybe a month."
Tony shook his head and got up.
She can't die, not here not now.
"I want to take her home."
"Mr. DiNozzo I don't think..."
"You said she'll die. You said she'll have maybe a month, maybe less. So why shouldn't I take her home? What could be worse than that?"
"Mr.DiNozzo it'll be better for her..."
"No, doc! It's not better for her. Maybe it would make her to stay a week longer but... I don't want her to die in a hospital. We have twins you know. She would love to see them. To spent some time with them. And to spent some time with her sister and her friends. To sleep in her bed. I want to make that time good for her."
"Hey Big Z!"
"Hey, sweety."
Tony pushed Zoe's wheelchair to the house. Then he carried her up and put her on the couch.
Kelly immidiatly started to tell her everything from her school and her friends since she couldn't visit Zoe for more than a week.
Zoe smiled sleepy.
"Hey sweety let Zoe rest a little."
Gibbs said after half a hour. He knew that Tony hadn't told her about her condition yet.
When they left Tony said he wanted to get her something to drink.
"I'm dying, right?"
She said before he had left the room. He turned and sat on the floor facing her.
"Tony, tell me the truth!"
His eyes started to get watery.
"Yeah, you're going to die."
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
"How did you know?"
"You got me out of the hospital before I was recovered."
Tears start to fall down his cheek and she reached out for his hand.
"I'm not going anywhere, Tony, remember? Even if I die, I'm still here!"
He didn't want to deal with that.
"Thank you for getting me out."
She whispered.
"You're welcome. I just wished it would have been different."
"Yeah, well, that's what happens when you wait too long to get to a doctor. At least I learned something."
The sound of her laugh made him smile.
"Don't wanna lose you."
"And I don't wanna go. You know, if I had one last wish. I wished I would have married you. Just to be Mrs. DiNozzo. At least for one night."
Tony looked up at her.
"We can arrange that."
"What?"
"We could make the priest come over and all our friends, just the team and marry. I don't want you to die as a Jetson!"
Zoe started to cry.
"Honey?"
"You would really do that?"
"Yeah, honey, I would!"
"Ok, Sweety, you're ready?"
Abby asked.
Zoe had insisted to walk at least from the bedroom to the living room. She also was wearing her dress. It was the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. It was sleeveless and had a nice neckline. It was all soft and silky.
Zoe nodded the soft curls of her hair lying on her shoulders.
Abby helped her up and leaded her into the living room.
"Friends and family, we have gathered to ..."
Tony had prepared a speech. Zoe had one, too, but she wasn't able to talk. The pain in her kidneys drove her insane.
Everybody in the room was crying except the priest. Gibbs had explained to Kelly that Zoe wouldn't make it for long and she hadn't stopped crying all day.
"Zoe, you are the love of my life. You once said you will never go away and I still believe you. You gave me a reason to stand up every day and I'm not only talking about our kids."
He looked down on his cards.
"To hell with those."
He said and threw them away. He took her hands.
"Zoe, I love you. I don't want you to leave. This is supposed to be a happy day but it isn't. All I want is to spent my life with you. It is not fair that we have to take the words until death tear us apart that serious."
He wanted to say more but the tears overwhelmed him. Zoe cupped his face and kissed him.
"Could you come to the end, father?"
Tony and Zoe lay in their bed.
"Tony?"
"Yes, Mrs.DiNozzo?"
He asked joking.
"You think we could...well..."
He looked intensely at her.
"You want to..."
"Tony, would you...make love to me? One last time?"
That night they made love. It was all soft and sensitive. Tony didn't want to push her too far. It was intense to him. This was more than probably the last time he would be that close to her. In the end they were both crying again.
Tony woke up early. Zoe's head on his chest. It was cold. It was not the normal coolness of her head without fever it was completely cold. "Zoe? Zoe? Honey? Micio?"
His voice was quiet but started to rise from a whisper to a yell.
"Zoe! Wake up! Honey! Please! Don't die! Wake up! WAKE UP! DESTARSI!"
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony's worst nightmare
Chapter End Notes:
Please read "my place in life" before. When I finished it I felt this gap and just had to fill it...Thanks to Eve and Mel!
Sorry, but I stopped Het some time ago. So this won't be continued, except I'm in a really really strange mood.
Sorry, but I stopped Het some time ago. So this won't be continued, except I'm in a really really strange mood.