Tony closed the door of the breakroom.
He had felt Gibbs gaze all his way there and somehow he still felt it even through the door. This all couldn't be true! It just couldn't.
Tony sat at the small table. How could he be in love with Gibbs? His boss? His male, very male boss?
Very, very male. Tony's mind brought up the picture of a naked Gibbs. Very, very male indeed, Tony grinned but shook his head immidiatly and stood up now pacing the room up and down.
There must be something he missed. Something major. Another explanation for his actions.
It couldn't be Kate's death. Those feelings he couldn't explain had been there all the time. Well, not all the time but since he was in Washington.
Former he had found other things to explain. He told himself Gibbs was like a father to him. Well, more he wanted Gibbs to be like a father to him.
‚But you never imagined your father naked.‘ That teasing voice in his head told him. After four months he was used that this voice sounded like Kate. Sometimes, well not in moments like that, he liked it to sound like her.
Gibbs was his mentor. The one who teached him everything for the job.
But Gibbs was also pretty often his worst nightmare. The one who slapped him every day. The one who yelled at him pretty often.
Rubbing his eyes he pured himself a coffee. He wasn't really a coffee drinker but maybe it helped him to clear his mind.
‚It's what Gibbs does when he needs a clear mind‘
The voice started to annoy Tony a bit.
Tony drank the cup without sugar or milk, something he normally doesn't. He had started about four months ago to put less into it and his morning coffee had started to grew stronger. His explanation was that he didn't sleep well and it helped him to stay awake and concentrate so he wouldn't give Gibbs another reason to yell at him.
‚You try to get used to Gibbs‘ coffee."
„Shut up!"
Had he said it aloud? Had he just answered that mocking voice? He started to get crazy! That was the explanation.
Surely the plaque had left some damage in his brain and the recent event had just increased the effect. That's why he had the stupid thought he was in love with his boss!
And now that he was thinking of that he really didn't feel it at all.
Yes, he was cured! He hadn't fallen for his boss. Thank God!
The door of the breakroom opened and Tony's smile vanished. His back was towards the door but nevertheless he could feel those icy blue eyes. The hair on his neck stood up and he felt this tickle in his lower belly.
‚yes, yes, you're cured, huh?‘
He swallowed hard and turned but before Gibbs could say anything he said.
„It's all yours!"
And so he left the room.
****************************************************************
When Gibbs had followed Tony with his eyes he could feel Ziva's gaze.
„What?"
The young woman immidiatly turned back to work but Gibbs knew that she was watching him and Tony for quite a while and she wouldn't stop soon.
Could it be true? Could he make the same mistake again? Could he fall for his male team mate again?
His trips on the wild side where few. He still could count them on one hand. Well, he could count the men on one hand.
Andrew, High school. He was blond, smaller than he was, in more than one way... Classification: Not satisfying.
Steven, Marine Corp, training. Black hair, sunny boy from California. He was very tall, you could say too long... Classification: Not quite satisfying.
Michael, brother of ex-wife number two. Helped him through difficult time. Type: McGee. Computer geek, very talented fingers but the rest... Classification: On the edge to satisfying.
Number four. Could he really take a number four? More than once he had that thought that he just wasn't made for women. Three divorcements to proof his point.
Anthony DiNozzo. Brown hair, green eyes. Tall, good looking. Perfect size, in many ways...Classification: Most likely very, very satisfying.
Gibbs shook his head mentally. He couldn't, shouldn't think like that. Tony was his second-in-command. The best agent he had ever trained and worked with.
New rule. No fantasizing about Tony! It was his new rule number one.
It was very clear that he would never tell Tony about his feelings. And he was also pretty sure that that man was a straight arrow but there was something they had to clear out. No matter what he didn't want to lose neither Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo nor one Anthony sweet ass Dinozzo.
‚Sweet ass? Not a term I would have expected from you!‘
That voice in his head told him. It had changed again. First it was the voice of his first wife, then his second, then his third, the most annoying. But now it was Kate's. Maybe, he had once thought, this voice was always the one of the woman he had dissapointed latest.
But well, Kate was right. Sweet ass? Think of rule 1, Gibbs! No fantasizing!
‚Give him nick names isn't fantasizing!‘
„Shut up!"
Had he said it allowed? Hell, he really had to clear some things. And maybe he would have a talk with Ducky, completely hypothetical of course, but the ME would take the hint anyway so maybe that wasn't a too good idea.
Gibbs made his way to the breakroom in his usual fast pace. Nothing and nobody would stop him from the talk he would have with Tony. Nothing would stop him from telling him the truth. Part of the truth. That Tony was needed here, that he, Gibbs, had had a hard time and he would apologize for giving Tony such a hard time.
Apologize? Jeez, something he had never done before.
He opened the door and Tony froze in place. When the younger man turned Gibbs didn't found his voice fast enough.
„It's all yours!"
Tony said and left. Ok, maybe Tony would stop him from having that conversation. His black coffee still stood on the table.
Hang on, black coffee? Tony didn't drink black coffee...
‚He's changing into what you want him to be!‘
Gibbs sighed and tried to get this voice to shut up.
TBC
Author's Chapter Notes:
Realisation doesn't mean you have to accept it and both Tony and Gibbs do their best to find a way around that.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks to Eve.
No at the moment there isn't more...
No at the moment there isn't more...