That explains a lot.
Abby sat down in shock. The only thing which crossed her mind over and over again was „That explains a lot."
Everybody knows that feeling. You learn something about somebody you know and suddenly all action, the whole behavior of that person is explained, with one fact.
She looked at Tony. His eyes were full of tears which only stayed because of sheer strenght of will. He had fought them back for what, about twenty years and it was hard to let all walls fall.
„I'm sorry Tony. I didn't knew."
A short smile shot over hiis face. Of course she didn't. Noone did. Except Kate. He had told her only a few days ago. It was that tiny thing which kept them apart. The missing piece and Tony had been willing to give it so they finally could start.
„The plague had changed my life. Ask Kate, she was there."
He had once told McGee. Ok, yes, the comment wasn't nice but it was right. It had changed his life. And certainly the fact that Kate was there had changed it.
Tony sat back behind his desk and slowly dialled.
„Yeah, Anthony DiNozzo. I would like to cancel the dinner tonight."
McGee looked up at him. Kate had died two days ago but anyway he was surprised that Tony cancelled a date.
„No, Sir, we certainly won't come tonight. Yes, thank you."
Tony hung up and buried his face in his hands.
Five days earlier.
Kate gave Tony a ride to his apartment. He was the whole time unusual quiet.
„Ok, Tony, what is it?"
She asked when she turned off the engine.
Tony hesitated for moment but then looked into her eyes.
„Would you come up for a moment?"
His tone was serious and somehow sad. Normally Kate would have cut him off with a comment but she saw that this was no test or sexist joke.
She nodded once and followed him up.
He sat uncomfortable on his couch and she took the easy chair opposite him.
„There's something I want to tell you."
He slowly started.
„I don't want you to misunderstand it but I want to explain you why I am the way I am."
Kate frowned confused.
„You know there is a reason why I behave that way with women..."
Kate sighed and shook her head. Now he would come up with some stupid excuse. His father hadn't teached him respect. His mother wasn't a good example...
„I lost my first girlfriend in High School."
Her eyes were immidiatly on him again. That she hadn't expected.
„You know there was this girl when I was fifteen, she was my neighbour. We were only good friends at the beginning but it grew more with the time. She was really beautiful. Long brown hair, big blue eyes. All time we had we spent together, she came to ever game I had. She became my family."
He paused for a moment. Kate lowered her eyes. He seemed to had deep feelings for her.
„I really, really loved her. With all my heart. And she loved me back just in the same way. But one day we entered their house together. We had planned that day for quite a while. It was the day we had slept with each other for the first time. Her parents were gone all day and we had all time we needed. We went down to the kitchen to get some water. We were all joking and laughing..."
Tony looked at Kate but her eyes were fixed on the floor.
„The next thing I know is that there was a shot. And then again. And more. Fifteen shots. It seemed that one of her father's employees had turned nuts and broke into their house."
„God!"
Kate breathed out. Fifteen times. This guy really had turned nuts.
„I had her blood all over me. My cloths were completely red and my face was spotted. I thought I would never get it off my face. For weeks I saw her blood when I looked into the mirror."
He rubbed his eyes and fought back his tears.
„It was that day I was sure I would become a Cop. Ann always encouraged me about it and well, somehow I did it for her. But it was also the last real girlfriend I ever had. I was afraid of letting somebody that close to me again. That's the reason why I am what I am."
He closed and bit his lips. He looked piercingly at Kate and waited for her to react.
„Why are you telling me this, Tony?"
She had a suspicion but she wanted him to say it.
„You remind me on Ann. But not because you're alot alike. You, I have pretty much the same feelings for you, Kate. I feel close to you. You're my best friend and I would trust you with everything."
He took one last breath before he let the bomb fall.
„I'm telling you this because I wanted to ask you whether you would like to have some dinner with me."
Kate took a deep breath and breathed out slowly.
„Yeah, Tony, let's have dinner together."
He smile formed on his face. Not the cocky grin he had often at work but a real honest smile.
„I tell you tomorror where and when, ok?"
He said and lead her to the door.
She turned and hesitated for a moment.
„What is it?"
She looked up at him.
„Nothing. Good Night, Tony."
She said and kissed him gentle on his lips.
The day before.
Tony let the red rose fall onto the coffin. His face was unreadable, he had enough practice with that.
It was the second love of his life. And again he had lost her. He had seen her fall her blood on his face. He still saw it when he looked into the mirror.
Present day.
Tony sat behind his desk. He had told Abby about Ann and about Kate. He somehow thought she has the right to know about Kate and it only worked with Ann. He could feel McGee and Gibbs‘ eyes on him for a brief moment. Everybody thought Gibbs would blame himself for her death. And sure, he did, but Tony did it, too.
He ran his hands pointlessly through his hair. They were too short to be out of place or annoying. Somehow he thought it was his fault. He was the one to blame for Kate's and Ann's death. Maybe they had to die bewcause he loved them.
Anyway never in his live he would allow himself to fall in love again...
Dinner! That single word came to his mind and he picked up his phone. He slowly dialed the number.
„Yeah, Anthony DiNozzo. I would like to cancel the dinner tonight."
„Em, sure Sir, but are you sure that you won't come?"
„No, Sir, we certainly won't come tonight. Thank you."
He hung up and buried his face into his hands.
He would never go to that restaurant again. It was one of his favourites but now it reminded him on Kate. And on Ann.
He had lost the two women he had loved so much on such a similiar tragical way.
That explains a lot.
Story Notes:
When I found out about Gibbs' daughter I thought "that explains a lot". But then I thought there also must be a reason why Tony is behaving the way he does around women. Well, this is a try to explain...
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony's loss
Chapter End Notes:
When I found out about Gibbs' daughter I thought "that explains a lot". But then I thought there also must be a reason why Tony is behaving the way he does around women. Well, this is a try to explain...