Notes: Short and bittersweet, and based off the song 'It's So Easy' by Sheryl Crow!
Same disclaimer as before, and the song (while different) still doesn't belong to me.
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Kate laid her head on Gibbs' chest, idly twirling his chest hair around her fingers. His hand came down to lightly caress her hair, tangling his large hands in her silky brown locks. Kate smiled and snuggled deeper into her lover's side.
They had been doing this for a few months now, but Kate wasn't completely sure what to classify ‘this' as. She had told him tonight that she loved him, but she didn't know how he felt about her. Of course he cared for her, she knew they were more than fuck-buddies, but how much more, she wasn't sure. She sighed heavily and felt Gibbs' place a kiss on her head. She imagined that he had thoughts like this too when they were finished, she knew that reality always hit hardest in this moment.
Gibbs was different from all the other men she had dated. They were, as Alicia referred to them, boy toys. She had her fun and then they would part ways. But with Gibbs it was different. He was an intense man, and being with him was intense. Intense, but very, very fun. She smiled slightly at that thought, but then the guilt came back around again. He was involved. She was, by definition, the other woman, and she knew it was wrong.
She could feel Gibbs' breathing even out, and looked up at him, a smile on her face. Oh no, he wasn't like the other men she dated. But she wouldn't have him any other way. She kissed his chest lightly and slid out from his warm embrace. He shifted a bit, but did not wake. She needed to think some things out, and she couldn't do that in his strong arms, sleep calling sweetly to her.
She put on her black silk robe and walked out into her apartment, careful not to trip over any discarded clothing. She sat on the couch, fiddling with the tie that held her robe together, and was lost in thought.
She didn't know why she did this. He was her boss, he was involved with another woman, and many other reasons that only came to her now, at night. But all these things were outweighed by one thing. Her love for him. She knew that it was cliché, but the look in his eye when he saw her, the little grin that he had whenever he thought that no one was looking, that's what kept her coming back. Jethro Gibbs was like a drug, and Caitlin Todd had willingly become an addict.
They hadn't meant for it to go this far. It was a one time thing, that turned into a two time thing, and now it was a more times than she could count thing. She could still remember that first night though, she could see the need in his eyes, and feel it in his touch. But the thing she remembered most was the fear she felt. What would he think in the morning? Did he consider it a mistake? Would he even be there when she woke up? Demons like this had plagued her until she fell into a restless sleep.
She remembered being so relieved when she woke up in his arms the next morning, recalling the feel of loneliness and rejection she had felt before when she had woken up alone. But then he told her it couldn't happen again and she went along with it because she was afraid of her real feelings for him.
But the next day at work, she could feel his gaze burning into her. She could feel the heat from him whenever he stood close to her, and she couldn't help but breathe in his scent. It was an intoxicating mix of sawdust, coffee and a light aftershave. It was Gibbs. When he showed up at her apartment a few nights after their first encounter she was surprised, but welcomed him with open arms. She couldn't deny him when they both wanted it so bad.
He had made her the same promise the next morning, but she knew it was a lie. They couldn't just walk away from this. At least, she hoped that she wasn't the only one hopelessly entangled in her feelings. But when he came back, her fears were quieted for a little while. Until she saw Linda again.
Linda was the mysterious redhead that had been such an enigma to Kate and her coworkers…okay, her and Tony for about the past year, at least it had been about a year when Kate and Gibbs started this affair. Kate had forgotten about her until one night, Gibbs was walking out with her, and there she was, in her silver Mercedes looking smart and put together. Kate looked down at her wrinkled pants, and ran a hand through her mussed hair, suddenly feeling very inadequate compared to this woman. Gibbs gave her a look that she had come to know as his "I'll see you later" look, and quietly slipped into the car.
That night, Gibbs had come to her, and she had given into him willingly. But afterwards, when she usually slipped into sleep with him, she stayed awake. She tried to analyze what was going on, why she did this. And that was the start of nights like this, nights where she couldn't help but question her actions.
But she wasn't alone in her doubts. One night, Gibbs confided to her he was afraid she's find someone younger and leave him out in the cold. She tried to tell him that would never happen, but she wasn't sure if he believed her or not. In an odd way, it was comforting to know she wasn't the only self-conscious one.
Kate chuckled ruefully from on the couch. She and Gibbs made quite the pair. Sometimes, she longed to go out and be like a normal couple, but another side of her liked just being alone with him, watching him build his boat, occasionally helping him. She knew that what they had was by no means a normal relationship, with the whole she was his subordinate thing, and the, him being involved thing, but in the long run, this was one of the most stable relationships she had ever been in.
Kate heard a rustling coming from her room and turned toward the door, and saw Gibbs standing there. "Come back to bed sweetheart." He said, his voice rough and husky with sleep. She grinned slightly at the endearment; they would only pop out when he was really exhausted.
She wondered randomly if they came from his mouth easier when he was with Linda, but pushed those thoughts away quickly. He was with her tonight, and she would enjoy it while she could. She could forget for one more night her ‘other woman' status, she thought, as she walked back into the bedroom and into her lover's waiting arms.
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