After they got to the hospital, it took Ducky and Abby both to pull the guilt-ridden Gibbs away from Tony. He didn't want to let go of the man's hand. After he heard Tony's voice saying he knew he would find him, he felt even worse at that point. He was in the waiting room pacing. He made the whole room feel unnerved. They all saw the caged animal that he was. Soon after he went outside after being asked when he used his cell phone due to his being loud and called Cait and asked how the processing of the scene was going. He had two things now to worry about: his team working a crime scene without him and the man he had deep feelings for. Deeper then he'd ever had before, even for Abby's mother.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs, a man of only forty-six years of age, ex-marine, three ex-wives and countless exes, be they male or female, had only loved five people in his life, true love, that is; his mother, his grandmother, Abby, Abby's mother and his younger daughter, Kelly.
He hadn't loved his father in the least; he'd been a mean drunk of a man. That was what led Gibbs into the marines. He'd assaulted his father one time after his dad had been beating on his mom. The judge gave him a choice: the military or jail. He chose the military and picked the marines. His grandfather, whom he'd never known but heard many stories about, had been a marine in WW2, and he'd always looked up to the man.
When Gibbs went into the marines, his mother raised Abby for him. Abby's mom had died during childbirth with her. Gibbs then, after the marines, joined NCIS and had been there for a total of twenty years with military time. He was a man with passion and he was a man who didn't let many in. He trusted his team; he's made them what they were. He'd hand picked them each for their talents, Cait for her Secret Service and profiler's background and McGee for his extensive degrees and his computer savvy. For Gibbs his coffeemaker was hard enough to operate.
"Jethro."
Gibbs was still outside pacing in the winter air, his breath heavy in the cold. Gibbs turned to see Ducky standing in the doorway.
"He…oh, God, Ducky, please tell me."
"Jethro, he's fine. Well, he is badly hurt, but he will live."
"What happened? Did he say who did this to him? Did-"
"Jethro, listen up. He has hypothermia and they will keep him overnight. And, yes, you can stay with him; even if I try to get you to go home and get sleep I know that will be out. He also has a lot of bruising and contusions. He's in a great deal of pain. Luckily the cold is what saved him. Also both his arms are broken in different places; they are fitting him for casts now on each arm. He will not have use of one hand, and one leg is also broken."
"Oh, God."
"Not to worry, Jethro. He is alive and is asking for you."
"Me? Why me?"
"Jethro, go to him, tell him."
"What, Duck, that I love him? How? Hell, why would he even like me back?"
"Oh, Heaven forbid the great Jethro Gibbs should find love."
"That's not what I meant, and you damn well know it."
"Okay, you hardheaded, stubborn, leatherneck, listen up. You are jumping the gun. I have a good indication that he does like you, and I know you like him. He is also being tested for STDs and HIV. "
"Oh, God, he's been turning tricks."
"Jethro, come here, please."
Gibbs walked closer to him and got a smack on the back of his head, a thing he was known for doing to others.
"Get your sorry ass in there and talk to the boy. He is scared. Number one, one of his ways of sight was taken away in his sense of touch. And number two, he just almost died."
"What if I'm not strong enough? Why did I not see this?"
"Our young Anthony is good at hiding himself. He has many masks and can make us see what he wants us to see. Go, be there for him, if nothing else; the rest, let it come if it comes. You don't know, and I think you're jumping the gun. Take it slow."
"Okay, where is he?"
"This way, Jethro. Abigail is in there with him."
Ducky showed him the way to where Tony was. He was behind a curtain. They had moved him out of the trauma bay that Gibbs remembered he was forced out of. The doctor was finishing with the last cast on him, one on his leg and two on his arms.
"Dad." Abby ran to her father and put her arms around him.
"Hey, Princess."
"Special Agent Gibbs."
"Tony, think now that we're not even at the office you can call me Jethro?"
"Okay. You're Abby's father?" Tony asked, shocked.
"Yes, she took her mother's last name when she started working at NCIS. It's for work. Otherwise…"
"Abby, you never told me."
"I couldn't. It was and is to be secret; people might think that, well…"
"I understand, and mums the word. Abby, Ducky, think I can get a moment with Special…I mean Jethro."
"Sure, sweets, and just remember you're coming to my place after you get out tomorrow."
"We'll talk, Abby."
"No, you ARE coming to my place. Right, Dad?"
"Yes, Princess, he's coming to our place."
"You two live together?"
"Yes. The house is huge, and I have my half of the house and Gibbs has his. Kind of like our own house."
"We'll see about me."
"It's settled. I'll see you later, Tony." Abby kissed his check and bounded out.
"Night, dear boy. I will check in with you later in the week on how you're feeling."
Ducky took the girl's hand and they went in search of a cafeteria. Gibbs watched them leave and he stood at the end of the bed, scared to get too close. Scared to let this man in.
"Jethro, please come closer. You don't have to stand at the end of the bed."
The nurse came in and checked the IV pump. She felt the temperature of the liquid, seemed happy and smiled at the boys before she left. Jethro moved closer, standing next to where one of Tony's hands lay.
"Thank you," Tony said softly.
"For?"
"You saved my life."
"No." Gibbs shook his head. "Tony, look, I've been an ass to you."
"I'm sure I deserved it."
"No, you didn't. You did not deserve any of it."
"Did you mean what you said to me the other day at the bus stop?"
"About that. Please, tell me this wasn't a-"
Tony's hand moved and brushed up against Gibbs' hand. Electricity went through both men. Tony found the hand and held it the best he could with a cast on his own hand.
"NO," Tony said shortly. "I got on the wrong bus on purpose, afraid of what I might say. I knew what bus it was, and I ended up back at the warehouse eventually. It wasn't the reason for this."
Gibbs held the hand tight.
"Did you mean what you said about liking me more then just as a friend?" Tony asked.
Gibbs didn't say a thing. He stood there and looked at the blind, battered man in front of him who now had a pair of glasses on. Gibbs had still not seen his eyes, even in the ambulance over Tony hadn't opened his eyes.
"Yes, I did," Gibbs finally answered. "I'd like to get to know you. I meant it when I said you're coming home with Abby and me."
"I can't. I won't accept charity."
"What if it's not charity but a gesture of friendship?" Gibbs squeezed the blind man's hand. "Tony, I like you. I meant that. I like you more than a friend. I'm not sure if you like me. I'm thinking that you do, but I'm just not sure. I hope that you do, and for now I'm happy with what you can give me. If it's just friendship, then so be it. But if not, then, well, I'm sorry."
"Jethro, I…" Tony was now getting worked up.
Gibbs saw a tear roll down his face. "What?"
"I do like you, Jethro, more than I knew till right now. I'm…well, I'm broken."
"No, you're not. They fixed you up. You're in pain, and that might take some time, but-"
"No, you don't understand. I'm BROKEN. Abby said you found out about my other job and my past."
"Yes, Tony, we did. I wish that you would have opened up to someone; we could have helped."
"I can't take charity. Even when I was a kid on the streets, I started sleeping with the bankers and went on from there. They paid well and had a warm place to stay. Hell, this one guy took me in all winter when I was sixteen/seventeen. The only rule was I could not go out of the house, and I was not allowed to put on any clothing, no matter what." Tony stopped.
Gibbs could see the pain in his face. "Tony, you don't have to tell me."
"No, I do. I have to make you see that I'm damaged. He made me parade around nude. It was cool at first. He let me have a bedroom all to myself, and I had two hours a night that he wouldn't ask a thing of me. It was a rule. But after the two hours I was all his, no matter where or when he said bend over, I was to bend over. He said on my knees, I was on them. He didn't care. It didn't hurt. He wasn't into S/M, but he would sometimes not use lube, and that did hurt." Tony stopped, again in pain.
Gibbs this time took his thumb and rubbed it against his face. At first Tony pulled away, but then he stopped once he realized he wasn't removing the glasses.
"What, Tony? Why did you pull away?"
"I can't have you see my eyes."
"Tony, I could care less what they look like. It's the person I like. I didn't fall in love with your eyes." Gibbs stopped at his declaration of love to the man in front of him.
Tony pulled away from the man, let go of his hand and turned his head away from looking in Gibbs' direction.
"Tony, look at me, please. What? I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"
"You can't love me. No one loves me. No one ever has."
"That's where you're wrong. I hope that you'll see that you have a lot of people who love you. Me, Abby, McGee, Cait, Ducky, we all love you."
"No, you're lying. No one ever loved me."
"Shhh, okay, we'll talk about that one later. Did you want to finish your story or talk about something else?" Gibbs was trying to bring the man back to the here and now, even if the memory was painful.
"He would have his way with me, no matter the place. I had to have my body hair all shaved off. I was only allowed the hair on my head. I was to stay clean at all times. It was okay. Like I said, the food was great and the house was warm. It was on the upper West Side. He liked the fact I was sixteen then I turned seventeen. For my birthday he had a guest over. I still wasn't allowed to have clothing, even if he had friends over."
Gibbs' hand was holding Tony's again. Tony could tell Gibbs was getting mad from just the way he held his hand.
"See, I told you I was broken. You don't want me, right?"
"Not in the least. I'm mad at the man who used you like that. That's all. You really don't have to go on, if you don't want."
"No, I do. I never told this to anyone, and I need to tell someone before I die."
"You're not dying."
"He'll get me, you know."
"Who, Tony? Who'll get you? Who did this to you?"
"I can't tell. He'll hurt you, too."
"Tony, look, no one is going to get you. No one is going to ever hurt you again. I'll make sure of that."
"You can't, really. You should just walk away and let me go back to the warehouse."
"Can't, it's a crime scene now."
"Oh, God, he'll kill me."
"No one is going to kill you. Tony, do you know who did this to you?"
"I didn't get a good look at him." Tony smiled, trying to make a joke and divert Gibbs' away.
"Funny, smart ass. Who, Tony?"
But Tony continued instead with his story. "Then, when the guy had guests, like I said, I couldn't have clothing, and if they said bend over, I had to. One time the man had about fifteen other men over and a few women and well-" Tony was in tears now.
"Shhh, no one will ever use you again. You're not going back to that life."
"How can you say that? I'm damaged. Why do you even still want me? I'm sick. I could have a disease."
"Well, they ran tests, and we'll see. Tony did you play it safe at least?"
"Yes, since I've been in DC, yes. The only time I didn't was with that man but only that man. His friends all had to use something; it was the rule."
Gibbs eyes narrowed. "Tony, what's this man's name?"
"No, he's a very powerful person."
"Tony, look, I'm going to protect you. You don't have to worry about it any longer. Really, I'm not worried, and I don't want you to worry."
"Why?"
"Why what?" Gibbs asked in confusion.
"Why do you care," Tony clarified, truly at a loss to understand this man.
"Like I said, Tony, I have feelings for you. They're very strong, a lot stronger than I even knew till just now. I'm going to protect you, Tony. I want to help. It's not too late, we can make these people pay, the man that did this to you and the person who beat you up. Was it your pimp?"
"God, no. He didn't even know. You arrested him the other day."
"I know, but we know someone took his place."
"No, he didn't touch me. He didn't want to ever see me again. He thought I ratted out the other guy. Plus, he, well, I'm blind, and he had a problem with that."
"Well, I don't. I thought I did, not going to lie to you, Tony, but I don't have a problem about that."
"You really do care," Tony said in amazement, hearing it in Gibbs' voice. Tony's posture just changed, becoming more relaxed right before Gibbs' eyes.
"Yes, Tony, I told you I care. I told you all the others care about you. We'll find the person who did this to you."
"No, Jethro, you can't. He'll kill you, just like he tried to do to me."
"Who, Tony? What happened?"
"A bad trick, that's all. Really."
"Okay, for now I'll let it drop. Okay?"
"Yeah. So, you and Abby, really?"
"Yes, really. It was a long time ago. I was very young, and well, her mom died in childbirth."
"I like her."
"Good, since she likes you. Between the both of us, we'll nurse you back to health."
"So what rules do you have for me to stay in your place? No clothing? What?"
Gibbs heard the sincerity in Tony's voice, like Gibbs would force anything on the man in front of him. If anything happened, it would be at Tony's pace. Tony was going to be the one who set that pace.
"Okay, I want you to listen to me. You listening?"
Tony nodded his head yes.
"No, I want you to say it."
"Okay, I'm listening."
"Your only rule is to be yourself. I'm not some John. I'm your friend, and I hope maybe more someday."
"So, I get my clothing?"
"Tony, I'm not going to lie. I like you. I find you very attractive and would like to maybe sometime explore that, but right now I think we need to worry about you getting better and healthy. If things happen, they happen, but you've got to be yourself."
"All I know is how to make a John happy."
"That's not true. You're a delight to a lot of people at work. You're bright, you're funny, you've got a very charismatic personality. Think you can be that around the house?"
"That's all?" Tony asked, his natural suspicions coming to the forefront.
"Well, maybe after dinner you clear the table if it's your night to do that. Abby and I take turns in cooking and who cleans up, but that's not required, that's between me and her."
"I want to help. I'm not accepting charity."
"Fine, then you pick a night, and, well… Okay, Tony, I'm new to this. I'm not being rude, and if you find the question wrong, tell me. Can you cook? I mean, I've never been around a blind person, I don't know what you can and can't do. I don't mean-" Gibbs felt Tony's hand squeeze his in love. Gibbs knew the difference; he wasn't sure how, but he knew.
"I'm not a great cook. Ramin noodles and I tend to burn myself."
"Okay, then, no cooking for you."
"Well, I'm a quick study. Think maybe I can get help?"
"That I'm sure we can do. Okay, again, nothing you don't want to do."
"No, really, I can vacuum as long as people don't move the stuff around. I'm pretty good at getting around, again as long as things don't get moved around. I can take care of a house. I had to do that at the man's house."
"Okay, then we make a schedule for cleaning. Again, Abby and I normally split that up."
"Do I have to suck you off every night?" Tony asked suddenly, trying to push Gibbs away. Tony was scared now. No one had ever cared for him like Gibbs did, and he didn't know how he would deal when it ended..
"I told you, Tony, I like you A lot more than I knew, like I said. Yes, if that happens, I only want it if you want to do that with me. We'll have to practice safe sex, but yes, if that happens, it happens. I'm never going to force myself on you. I care about you and want your input into things. I care what you think. I'm not your pimp, I'm not some John who only wants you to get off on. I'm not some guy who is into the kink of a blind man. I like Tony DiNozzo, and that is who I want you to be. If you don't know who that is, then we find out together. This is a mutual thing. I want your input. For now it is a friendship. I hope, like I said, that it might become more, maybe turn into a relationship. Am I clear on this?"
"You mean it?"
"Hell, yes, I mean it. Tony, I'm also going to tell you this: we are going to go after your father for doing this to you." Gibbs saw the color leave Tony's face.
"NO, YOU CAN'T!" Tony was screaming now.
Gibbs was trying to get him under control. "Tony, look, relax. Shhh."
A nurse came in, checking on the man. "Sir, are you okay?"
"He's fine, really, he's fine, ma'am. He's just received some news, that's all."
"Okay, but you have to keep it down. There are other patients next to you."
"We will, thank you." Gibbs turned back to Tony. "Tony, relax. Can you do that for me?"
Tony was white as a ghost. His hand was now clammy, and he was panting. "You can't, Jethro, please don't go there. You need to leave him alone. He is more powerful than the man who took me in that time. At the age of fifteen he kicked me out with the clothing he just got me and twenty bucks."
"Look, I'm not alone. See, I called a friend in the FBI to help find you and come to find out they are going after your father for a lot of things."
"Jethro, please tell me you will stay away. I just found you, I can't lose you, please tell me."
Abby was coming around the curtain now. "What's the matter, guys?"
"Abby, give us more time, please," Gibbs said.
"Abby," Tony said at the same time, "make him promise that he won't go after my father."
Abby saw the fear and pain in Tony and the hurt and anger in her father. "Tony, Gibbs is a very strong person. I'm sure that your father-"
"Will kill him. You both are already in danger for just being with me."
"So your father did this to you."
"No, I didn't say that."
"Yes, you did, Tony. Please let us help. We also have very powerful friends." Abby took Tony's other hand, ignoring her father's request for more alone time and getting a glare, but she was glaring back.
"Tony, I'm not going after him," Gibbs assured him, "but they are, and they want your help."
"He'll kill us all."
"Piss on that, Tony. Dad will protect us, I know he will."
"She's right, Tony. Like you just said, I Just found you, I'm not letting go of you."
"I can't. He already-" Tony stopped.
Gibbs again ran his hand through Tony's hair; this seemed to relax him a great deal.
"Tell us, Tony, really, we're okay."
A nurse came into the curtained area and again checked on the IV fluids that were being warmed and pumped into him. "Sir, your ride is here to take you upstairs. We have approval for one person to stay, okay?"
"Thank you, ma'am," Gibbs said and in came a person in gray.
"Mr. DiNozzo."
"That's me."
"I'm Phil. I'm taking you upstairs," Phil said, almost yelling.
"He's blind not deaf, you brainless twit."
The transporter shut up at Gibbs' words. Tony fell into a very relaxed state from Gibbs barking at other people for him.
"Okay, that's my cue to leave," Abby said. "Tony, I'm going to get you a few things. Are you allergic to any kind of fibers?"
"I'm not allergic, but I hate wool."
"Okay, got it, honey." Abby kissed his check, then her father's and left.
Tony and Gibbs went up to the other observation ward. Gibbs was just sitting in the chair, holding his hand. Tony wouldn't let it go, even though he was passed out now. After a short time of him sleeping, Gibbs was able to snake out of the grip and he found a coffeemaker and then got a bag of chips from the vending machine. He went back and found Tony was having a nightmare. He knew enough not to rush to his side.
"Tony, come on, buddy, wake up. It's Jethro, please wake up."
Tony's glasses flew off him in the thrashing about. Gibbs could see that he was holding his stomach and was acting like he was getting beaten again.
"Please, don't," Tony was mumbling. "I'm not going to tell." Again more mumbling. "God, Dad, please don't let him." And Tony shot wide awake and was now crying and in a great deal of pain. His moving had caused more pain.
Gibbs could see his eyes now, and they were green, the one eye color that Gibbs loved above all else. Gibbs was now holding Tony and rocking him back and forth, cooing to him and tying to get him to relax.
"My father, Jethro, he did this to me. He was there watching."
"Shhh, it's okay, you're safe now. I won't let him hurt you ever again."
"I think I love you, Jethro. Is that wrong?"
Chapter End Notes:
I would like to thanks all the readers form this group. i have tryed to answer Feedback but for some reason a lot of the mails bounce but i thank you all for the ego boost