Chapter 3.
Thomas Leroy Gibbs…?
Gibbs had stayed frozen in the middle of his living room after Tom had left the house. He knew he should have run after him but he couldn't make a move…the last days had been hard for him and he was feeling too exhausted to react properly when his own son was running away from him.
He had watched Tony get out of the room and he knew the younger man would catch Tom before the kid could disappear. If someone could bring Tom back to him it was Tony. Gibbs had always trusted him with the job. But today he had to learn to trust him with his private life… a task much more difficult as the older man had always kept this part of himself well hidden to everyone.
He didn't want any of his co-workers to know who he was, what his life had been made of. He was not ashamed but he preferred keeping some parts secret. He would never tell anyone that he had fallen in love only once and that he had been hurt so badly this time that he had promised himself it would never happen again… He couldn't afford loving someone like he had.
He sat heavily on his couch, hiding his head on his hands. His life had changed in the last week. He had found out that a woman he had met years ago had had a child, a little boy she had called after his father…Thomas Leroy. He had met his son; he had seen himself in the kids' eyes.
And now he was unable to help him, unable to talk to him. He couldn't blame him to have reacted this way. He had been abandoned and had had to find a way to survive in the streets. Gibbs couldn't imagine what his life had been like all those years alone, without anyone to help him. The man who had called him had said his son was in danger and he could guess what danger it was. He had seen him about to follow a man in his car and he knew what would have happened.
He was feeling sick at the thought of what his own son had been obliged to do for two years and he would do anything to keep him away from the streets and the man who had made a kid do that. He was lost in his thoughts when he heard someone coming in the room.
-Boss, are you ok?
Gibbs looked up at Tony who was now standing in front of him. He searched the room and felt the anguish grow in his heart when he saw there was no one else in the room.
-Where is Tom, Tony?
-He didn't go far. He is in the garden. He told me he needed some time to think and I promise do let him alone if he promised to come back in and talk with you.
-Tony, I don't know what to tell him. I've never been here for him. How could I ask him to trust me?
-You don't have to ask, Gibbs. He is your son and he needs you. The only thing you have to do is to make him feel you really are his father. He is a stubborn kid… I'm sure to know where it comes from…
Tony sat next to Gibbs on the couch and the older man was surprised when the younger man put a hand on his knee. Gibbs looked at him. Tony could read the surprise on his boss' face but he had to make him understand what he meant to him. Tom needed a father but Gibbs needed someone to trust, a friend, and a partner. And Tony wanted to give him that.
-I'll stay here with you if you want me to. I don't know what you are going to do with Tom but I'm sure there will be tough moments. I want you to know I will be here for you, for him…
-I'm not sure to understand what you mean Tony…
Gibbs had difficulties to concentrate with Tony so close to him. He had met a lot of good guys, he had slept with some of them and he had even enjoyed it. But it was Tony here next to him a hand on his knee…
-What can I say, Jethro? Is it obvious?
Gibbs was not sure he was still in his house anymore. He had probably fallen asleep and ha was dreaming. Tony could not do what he thought he was doing. Gibbs stood up, walking away from Tony.
-Don't tell me you didn't know, Jethro. I know I'm a good actor but not for you…
-I don't know Tony. I think I never allowed myself to see it…
Tony stood up and faced Gibbs. They were so close now that Gibbs could feel Tony's warmth and he couldn't deny he was a little scared by the feelings he was now experiencing.
-You have to tell me to stop now, Jethro because I'm about to kiss you…
Gibbs couldn't move. Tony was about to kiss him and he couldn't tell him not do to it because he wanted it. He wanted to feel Tony's lips on his…He needed it. Tony made one more step and placed a hand on Gibbs' waist. The first touch was gentle and soft.
Their lips met and each of them felt the time froze. They were both lost in the moment, in the kiss they were sharing, their tongues dancing.
They broke apart searching for some air. Gibbs couldn't say anything as if he had lost the ability to speak. Tony was smiling at him his hand still on Gibbs' waist. He didn't know what this kiss meant but he had felt Gibbs melt. He had not been sure he was not about to loose his job but he had read some signs in Gibbs' behavior.
-I guess it was not a first for you Boss…
-You thought I'm a virgin…?
-Not really but I was not sure…
-You were not sure how I would react and you kissed me…You like taking risks…
-It was worth it…
Gibbs didn't reply but he stayed there, in front of Tony trying to clear his mind. Tony was now worried. Gibbs had liked the kiss. He had felt it but he couldn't tell what the older man would say now. Tony took a step back and looked at Gibbs.
Gibbs turned his back to him and began to pace around the room. Not a good sign.
-Don't over think it, Boss. Forget about it.
-What do you want to do now, Tony?
-What do you mean?
-I'm just asking a question, Tony. You kissed me so you should tell me what it means.
Tony took some time to think about what he had to say now. He could hear the anger in Gibbs' voice as if the older man was blaming him for confusing him. Tony knew the situation was not easy for Gibbs and he began to think he had done a mistake…No it was not a mistake, he was sure Gibbs wanted it too.
-It means what you want it to mean, Boss.
Gibbs smiled sadly at him and Tony couldn't understand what the older man wanted to tell him with it.
-I'm not sure you want to know, Tony.
They were interrupted by Tom who opened the front door. The kid had cried, his eyes were swollen and red. Gibbs wanted to walk to him and take him in his arms telling him everything would be fine. But he couldn't do that. First because Tom would not probably allow him to come close to him and then because he was not sure it was what he had to do.
-I'm glad you decided to come back, Tom.
-Mom always told you had to hear what someone had to say before judging him.
-She was a wise woman.
-Yes.
Gibbs could tell that Tom was waiting for him to say something. In a weird way, Gibbs was feeling that it was not him the adult in this room. Tom was looking at him with cold eyes and Gibbs realized it would be hard to convince him to stay. Tony was still in the room but he knew it was not his place to say something.
-I think I'm going to let the two of you talk and go for a walk.
-Thanks, Tony.
-Yeah, thanks Tony.
For the first since he had met Tony, Tom had not used that provocative smile. Gibbs didn't know what Tony had told him to make him stay but he could tell that the younger man had found the right words. Tony smiled at Gibbs and touched lightly his hand before exiting the house.
-I know the situation is not easy for you Tom but…
-You're wrong. You have no idea how hard the situation is for me…You don't know anything about me.
-That's true, Tom. Only a week ago I didn't even know I had a son. But it's not an excuse. I met your mother a long time ago. But it didn't work between us. I tried to stay in contact with her but we both had our lives and she decided to move to another state…
Tom had sat on the couch and was listening carefully to what Gibbs was telling him. Gibbs sat next to him but not too close.
-I should have been here for you from the beginning. I wish I could change it and be the father you needed me to be but I can't change what happened. I don't know why your mother didn't tell me she was pregnant. She probably thought it would be better for you.
Tom looked up at him. Gibbs could see he had said something important and he decided to let Tom talk and say what he had to say.
-She talked about you once. She never said your name but one day she said that my father would never have allowed anyone to hurt me…and you know what I trusted her. I told myself that one day my father would come and get us out of there…
The teenager lowered his head looking at his hands.
-I think I began to doubt it would ever happen the day I met Eggert. He told me there would be no one to save me except myself and that I had to make some decision fast and never look back. He was the only one who offered me a roof and something to eat every day. It was all I needed… Well, I had to work to pay him but at least I was alive…
-Alive…?
-Yes, Gibbs. After that bastard killed my mother he said he would kill me if he ever saw me again and I had no doubt he wouldn't have even blinked doing it. I was safe with Eggert.
-He obliged you to work for him, to prostitute yourself. It's illegal, Tom. He had no right to do that.
Gibbs was frozen by Tom's laugh.
-Illegal, Special Agent Gibbs…? Yes it is. But you don't how it works. Those guys don't care about what is legal or illegal…They take what they need and get rid of everything else. I needed that money so I did what I had to do…
-It's over now. I won't let you go back in the streets…
-And how are you going to keep me. You're going to tie me to chair or lock me in my room. I may be only fifteen but I'm not a kid anymore, Gibbs…You grow up fast when you have to sell yourself to eat…
Gibbs knew he wouldn't convince him to stay telling him it was for his own good. Tom was unable to see what was good for him. But he was his father and as Tony had told him that's what Tom needed him to be. Gibbs came closer to his son and lowered his voice. He didn't want to threaten him but he had to make him understand he was no longer the only to decide.
-You are going to listen carefully to me, Thomas. You are my son even if you don't like it…And I'm going to do what a father would do…even if it means protecting you from yourself. You are not going back in the streets…
Tom began to stand up but Gibbs caught his arm and made him sit back on the couch.
-I'm not done yet. You are going to stay here and begin a new life with me.
-I don't need you, Gibbs. I was fine before you came…I made a lot of money…
Gibbs was feeling the anger grow and he knew he would not stay calm for long. He took a deep breath to calm down but Tom had decided to play it hard.
-You can go back and play with your little boy. I'm sure he is waiting out there for you to call him. I saw how you looked at him and believe me I'm an expert…If you didn't screw him already… You should try. I'm sure he is amazing in a bed…
Before he realized what he was doing, Gibbs caught Tom's arm and was about to slap him. He stopped frozen when he saw the sad smile on the kid's face.
-See. I knew you were like the others. My mother was wrong when she said you were different. I should have known…You've known me only for some hours and you already hate me. It was nice to meet you but I think I'd better go now…
Gibbs released his hold. He had not expected Tom to react this way.
-Tom, don't go.
-I can't stay with you and you know it. You have your life and I'm sorry about what I said about Tony. I'm sure he is a nice guy and I know he loves you or he would have run away when he saw me…
Tom stood up and walked to the door but Gibbs couldn't let him go. He didn't know what he could do to make him stay. He followed him and caught his arm before Tom put his hand on the handle.
-Give me a chance, Tom. I have a lot to learn to be a good father but I'm sure that if you help me I could try to be like the father you imagined when you were a kid. Just tell me what you want me to do…
Tom seemed to think about Gibbs' words for some time.
-I don't want you to go back to the life you had for two years. I can't even imagine what you had been through but I'm here now. And I promise no one would ever hurt you, Tom. I won't let anyone touch you again…
Tom hands were now shaking and it was hard for Gibbs not to take his son in his arms. He wanted nothing more than to make him forget about what had happened to him.
-We could try for some time and see what happens. Tell me what you want Tom…
The kid turned and looked at his father his eyes wet with tears he was still trying to hold. He opened his mouth but Gibbs could hear no words.
-Tell me, Tom…
-Can you take me in your arms…? Dad…?
The sentence had been said in a whisper and Gibbs had read his lips more than heard his words but it doesn't matter. His son was now in front of him and for the first time he could see the extent of the pain he had endured.
He closed the gap between them and hugged his son. Tom had rested his head on Gibbs' chest and the older man could hear the sobs his son was trying to hold.
-It's ok to cry, Tom. You are safe now. I won't let anyone hurt you.
-Don't leave me, please…
-I won't leave you, Tom. You're my son.
Gibbs realized he was also crying but he didn't care. In a week he had found out he had a son and for the first time since he had brought him back with him he was beginning to think they had a chance to make it work.
And there was him…The man who was now standing at his door smiling softly at him. Tony had stayed here even when he had learnt about Tom… he had kissed him…and even if he didn't want to see in those facts more than they really meant, he couldn't help hoping it was the beginning of a new life for them…
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs and his son are trying to build a new relationship.