"So what's the deal with you guys kissing each other?"
The question was worded with so much casual nonchalance and unconcern, Tony nearly laughed. It was a dead give away just how important the answer was to Gibbs. Maybe Mike had called it right when he said he thought Gibbs was jealous. Not that he had any reason to be. It wasn't like Tony ever considered giving Mike the sort of kisses he'd dreamed about laying on Gibbs.
Tony gave Gibbs a coy look, handing him the bag of goodies to hold as he opened the gate. "You worried I won't have enough kisses left to give you one?"
A muscle in Gibbs' jaw flexed and tightened. "No."
"Worried I might give him more than I'd give you?" Tony teased, bumping Gibbs' shoulder with his. The slight change in Gibbs' expression and Tony knew he'd come close to the mark.
"I'm not worried."
"Jealous then?"
Gibbs gave him a hard look and answered very quickly. "No."
Tony smiled at the too quick negation. Maybe not jealous, but envious, which was close enough to call him on it. "Liar."
"I'm not jealous." Gibbs growled. "I'm just...curious."
Tony chuckled, shaking his head as he latched the gate. He leaned back against the wooden post, folding his arms against his chest. He arched an eyebrow.
"Curious?" Tony repeated. Green eyes regarded Gibbs steadily, amused to see the older man fidget. He could get used to having this sort of power.
"It looks like something I'd seen in Europe," Gibbs finally answered, clearing his throat.
"Momma C's from the old country." Tony had been forced to learn her dialect of Italian just to be able to communicate. She had a tendency to slip out of English on a regular basis. It was the reason Mike and his brothers were all fluent. That and several trips back to visit family still in Italy. English was more a second language for them than their first.
"So Mike's first generation American?"
Tony nodded, still smiling softly. "I'm thinking Mike's genealogy isn't what you're getting at."
Gibbs looked away before once more meeting Tony's gaze. "He never did say what he does for a living."
Tony laughed silently to himself, mildly amused that Gibbs wasn't ready to fold yet. He had no problem with the conversation running around in another circle if that was how Gibbs wanted to play it. He knew they'd get back to the point; he'd make sure of it.
"Mike's a carpenter. He mostly does custom work now...like cabinets and furniture instead of building houses. Made everything in the cabin actually."
Gibbs looked impressed. And well he should be, Tony thought with pride. The career might not have been what Mike originally intended, taking on the job and learning the trade as a way of helping to support the family when his father died, but it was definitely a passion for him. Mike had real talent. His branching out to crafting inlays and carving had been something Tony spent several years convincing Mike would be a good idea. Mike had moved from simple carvings to outright sculpting. Mike had made a piece for each of his brothers, and had told Tony his was nearly finished. Tony was eager to see it but had so far managed not to hound Mike about it.
"Don't think his career choice has got much to do with you being jealous of me kissing him," Tony commented softly, neatly forcing the conversation back to where it had started.
"I am not jealous," Gibbs insisted, giving Tony a dark look.
"Nor should you be, Jethro," Tony responded softly.
"I just want--," Gibbs winced and stopped. He was obviously bothered by the way he sounded to himself. Tony could understand that. There was a plaintive undertone in Gibbs' voice that was not what anyone who'd ever met the man would have considered him capable of.
Gibbs squared his shoulders. "You aren't usually that affectionate with most people."
"Mike isn't most people." Tony shrugged. He unconsciously hesitated to label Mike as 'family'; his own blood relatives had little in common with Mike's. It almost felt like Tony should have another category to put them in, another label to define them. Maybe I should just reclassify my family, Tony thought with wry amusement; it would be easier.
"So the whole cheek kissing is more than just a cultural thing?" Gibbs asked, gaze narrowing slightly.
"Well, you don't plant those on everyone...cultural history or not." Tony grinned. He'd never seen Mike lay one on a total stranger. And he'd never had any inclination to do so either. "They're reserved for people you like. Friends and family. A sign of affection."
Gibbs chin came up, blue eyes challenging. "So, when do I get kisses like that?"
"Don't want to kiss you that way." There was nothing brotherly or platonic about how he felt about Gibbs.
The flash of disappointment in Gibbs' eyes almost made Tony curse. Clearly Gibbs misunderstood what he was trying to say. Tony pushed off the fence post, stepping forward to cup Gibbs' face with both hands.
He captured Gibbs' mouth with his own, trying to convey all the love and passion he had for the other man. He moaned when Gibbs responded in kind: hot, hard and hungry. For the first time in his life, Tony resented the need to breathe. He never wanted to let go. He wanted to crawl inside Gibbs' skin and stay there?safe, warm and loved.
Reluctantly, Tony broke the kiss, pulling in a lung full of crisp morning air. Gibbs sucked gently on Tony's lower lip, toying with the sensitized flesh, making Tony shiver. He swallowed hard when Gibbs released him, burying his face against Gibbs' shoulder as he struggled to even out his breathing. He hadn't been this turned on by a kiss since he was a teenager when it felt like he got a hard on every time the wind blew.
"Jesus," Tony whispered, uncertain if he was cursing or praying.
"Amen."
Tony laughed weakly, raising his head. "We have found religion."
Gibbs chuckled. He turned his head to deliberately place first one kiss and then another on Tony's cheeks. For being so similar to the action Mike did all the time, Gibbs' kisses felt nothing like Mike's. Tony wasn't sure if they were just warmer, more intimate because of how he felt about Gibbs or if it was just the man himself. Either way, Tony was damn glad to get them.
He sighed when Gibbs pulled him into a hug. It was strange blend of soothing comfort and arousing contact. Tony breathed in the Gibbs' scent, certain he could find the other man in a crowded room even if blindfolded. The tantalizing fragrance was a blend of coffee and earthy, clean sweat. There was a trace of something vaguely mint like but spicier. The usual overlying scent of sawdust was missing since Gibbs hadn't worked on his boat in more than a week.
That smell of wood had been one of the things Tony found so appealing about Gibbs when he met him the first time in Baltimore. It piqued his curiosity about the gruff, former Marine. Tony might have otherwise dismissed Gibbs as little more than a very attractive pain in the ass he would have to put up with until their joint case was solved.
Gibbs stepped back, releasing him. Tony couldn't quite stifle a sound of loss and disappointment. He wasn't done basking in being close. He wasn't ready to be free of that longed for embrace and he didn't want there to be space between them.
"We agreed to go slow," Gibbs said softly, one hand moving to cup Tony's cheek.
He turned his head to place a kiss in Gibbs' palm. "Took us four years to get this far. Any slower and we'll be standing still."
Gibbs' eyes reflected amusement and commiseration, as well as determination. "I just don't want to ruin this by getting too far ahead of ourselves."
"I know." Tony understood. He wasn't being rejected, just asked to wait so Gibbs could be sure. He'd already given Gibbs his heart and soul, a little more time wasn't too much to ask.
He smiled, eyes closing when Gibbs' thumb caressed his cheekbone. Tony craved any sort of display of physical affection; he had for most of his life. He was willing to accept lust as a substitute for genuine, deeper feelings rather than forgo contact completely. Fleeting relationships were never enough, but they were always better than nothing. He was willing to take what he could get if he couldn't get what he wanted.
Tony was sure a therapist would have a field day with him. It was another reason he avoided people in that profession. Not only did they always think he should share his long held secrets, they always found a way to find fault. He didn't want to be psychoanalyzed. He just wanted someone to want him, to love him, to see him as worthy of time and attention. He always thought that made him weak, needy and stupid until meeting Mike and his family.
Mike and his brothers were been so different from his family. They touched each other all the time. There were hugs and kisses, as well as pushes and shoves. Compliments and reprimands were handed out in equal measure whenever appropriate.
Tony wished his father was more like Momma C. She managed to maintain discipline without derision, never belittling her children as a means of keeping them in line. Momma C established order without being rigid about the boundaries. She accepted her sons' limitations without finding fault in them personally for not measuring up to some internal, undefined standard they had no hope of meeting.
Tony had initially been wary of people so easy with their affection and acceptance, looking for the catch he was sure had to exist. He'd known Mike for close to seventeen years, and the rest of his family for nearly as long. Yet, Tony still had trouble understanding how they could give him the same warmth and welcome they gave so easily to each other. It was something unique and precious that he vowed never to take for granted.
Tony opened his eyes when Gibbs removed his hand. He forced himself not to ask for more, not to push the boundaries being set. He leaned in and with deliberate care placed a kiss on each of Gibbs' cheeks. He'd like to do more?to ravish that delectable mouth again, to find if Gibbs tasted as good all over as he smelled, to?Tony forcibly shut off that train of thought, pulling back before temptation got the better of him.
"C'mon." He tilted his head, nodding in direction of the cabin. "Mike can see us from here. And I think he's gotten enough of a show."
Gibbs glanced toward Mike's house, clearly trying to spot the other man and see if he really was watching. Tony snickered. "Let it go, Jethro. I owe him one."
"Well, I don't." Gibbs growled.
Tony snickered. "You sure about that?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You hang out with Mike and his family for a little while, a natural tit for tat thing that happens." Tony shrugged one shoulder, starting up the hill toward the cabin. Gibbs fell into step with him. "Not sure exactly how it works out or why, especially when no one seems to really keep score. Just know it does."
"And you think I've 'hung out' long enough for this mysterious phenomena to include me?"
"Yep."
Gibbs frowned. "How?"
"What did you really think all that in the kitchen was about?" Tony gave him a wry look. "I know he told you stuff you didn't know. Probably about me."
Mike was the only person on the planet, other than Gibbs, Tony trusted enough to speak for him. He knew Mike would never betray a confidence thoughtlessly or deliberately hurt him. When he left them alone, Tony knew Mike was going to tell Gibbs whatever he thought the man should know to treat Tony as well as Mike believed he should. He would have told Gibbs things Tony likely should have told him, but couldn't quite bring himself to share. It was hard to find fault with a guy who made a point of looking out for him.
"And you sat at his table telling him things about yourself." Tony smiled.
He'd been delighted with the level of information Gibbs had willingly offered. Tony suspected Mike had pulled out all those details for his benefit. A lot of what Mike had brought up were things Tony had been curious about but was too wary to ask himself.
Tony held out his hands, palms up as though balancing a scale. "Tit for tat."
"That's one way to see it." Gibbs shook his head, laughing softly. "But that just makes us even. I don't owe him one."
"Give it time." Tony laughed. "You will."
Tony smiled shyly when Gibbs' offered him a hand to take. He wove their fingers together, just as delighted with the simple act as he'd been when they held hands earlier leaving the cabin. It was such a small thing, but Tony was unaccountably pleased that Gibbs had initiated the action both times. Maybe he wanted to touch, need to, just as much as Tony did.
As they made their way to the cabin steps Tony frowned. There wasn't a lot to do in the rustic location. Maybe we should have gone to town with Mike, Tony thought, suddenly unsure if staying at the cabin was a good idea.
Gibbs had seemed to want to stay and spend time with him, but maybe he'd misunderstood what the older man was trying to say without words in Mike's kitchen. Other than Caleb, no one else he'd ever dated had been content with just him. All his other relationships had always involved time spent going to dinner, movies, concerts, and the like. One on one time with Tony had never involved anything more than the bedroom, and Gibbs had already asked for more time before committing to sex, so that was not an option.
"Something wrong?" Gibbs asked quietly.
"Not a lot to do here." Tony bit his lower lip nervously.
The lack of a TV hadn't seemed like a big deal because Tony knew Gibbs didn't watch a lot. The battery powered radio was nice for company but didn't offer much in the way of entertainment. Gibbs wasn't going to be able to read any of the books he had?not without his glasses. Tony cursed silently. He should have thought to ask Mike if they could borrow a pair of reading glasses. Momma C misplaced hers as often as Gibbs did, leaving several pair in Mike's house over the years.
"Hey," Gibbs squeezed his hand, drawing Tony's attention back to him, "it's okay"
"It's okay?" Tony repeated, not sure what Gibbs was telling him.
"I'm fine with just taking walk and see more of the area. We could split more wood. Play another game." Gibbs smiled gently. "You don't have to worry about me being bored."
Tony could feel his face warming, embarrassed by how accurately Gibbs had been able to assess his thoughts. He ducked his head. "I know most of the trails." Truth was he knew all the trails, very well. Tony often ran them, using the steep grades as a training ground for when he ran marathons.
"A walk it is then."
"We'll bring the cookies."
Gibbs blinked. "Why?"
"Never go anywhere without food." It was one of Tony's own personal rules. Since working for Gibbs it had been essential for survival. The man didn't keep regular hours much less make time for regular meals. Tony said as much.
Gibbs laughed, a delighted sound of honest amusement Tony rarely heard. He hoped he'd get the chance to make Gibbs do it more often. The sound warmed him right down to his toes.
"Cookies come with us then." Gibbs pulled him into a half hug, placing a quick, light kiss on Tony's bruised temple. "Let's go see the sights."
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs and Tony head back to the cabin.