Gibbs closed his cell phone, ending the call. Until Abby commented on it, Gibbs hadn't realized just how happy and contented he sounded. Letting her think his emotional state was the product of recovering his memory was easier than trying to explain his new relationship with Tony.
Gibbs grimaced. Easier, but not completely honest. It felt wrong to keep the reason for his happiness from Abby. ?Sin of omission' the priest he had in grade school would have called it. Still, not telling her or anyone else at the office was essentially what he'd promised Tony. He was a man of his word.
He should have realized how Tony would react to the suggestion of them being 'out'. Given how Caleb had died...Tony's response was completely understandable. Gibbs was very relieved he'd been able to fix that snafu so quickly, without doing irreparable damage.
He had never been good with words when it came to affairs of the heart. Not even with Shannon. Usually things he'd messed up in the past took a lot of time and effort to fix?assuming they could be repaired at all. How the hell he could have made it to his current age without getting any better was a mystery to him. His grandmother's expression of ?too soon old and too late wise' definitely seemed to fit. It certainly explained how he'd ended up divorced three times.
Gibbs shook his head, expression rueful. All he'd wanted to do was let Tony know he was committed to him, to 'them'and he ended up scaring the hell out of him. From now on, Gibbs decided, he'd keep any more gestures of devotion to physical. Actions spoke louder anyway, or so he'd been told, and action had never been a problem. That, he could do.
He smiled, thinking about his conversation with Abby. He hadn't lied to her about recovering his memories. There were still holes, but not nearly as many as there had been. He didn't feel quite so much like he was missing fifteen years of his life. It was more like he was missing moments, the sort of thing he might genuinely be expected to have forgotten. It was progress.
He looked up when he heard the door open. Tony smiled, offering him a coffee mug. Gibbs took it, breathing in the rich aroma.
"You want me to call McGee?"
Gibbs shook his head. "Abby has that covered."
Tony snickered. "He's staying at her place."
Gibbs rolled his eyes. "I didn't ask."
"You didn't have to."
Gibbs turned away, hiding his smile with the coffee mug, taking a sip of the near scalding liquid. He sighed in satisfaction when he found the brew to be just to his liking. He was well below his usual daily consumption. Strangely, it didn't bother him as much as would have at the office.
He sighed again when he felt Tony wrap his arms around his waist. Gibbs let his back rest against Tony's chest, enjoying the simple comfort of being close to one another. It was a novel experience for him to be held by another. Usually he was the one offering comfort, supporting.
Tony rested his chin on Gibbs' shoulder. "You wanted to tell her."
It wasn't a question, but Gibbs answered anyway. "Yeah, I did." He entwined the fingers of his left hand with Tony's, pulling their joined hands upward so they rested over his heart. "She wanted to know why I sounded so happy."
"What did you tell her?"
Gibbs understood the question wasn't the result of a lack of trust or evidence of suspicion. It was a simple curiosity on Tony's part. No more, no less. It was humbling to realize just how much faith the younger man put in Gibbs' willingness to keep his word.
"I didn't really tell her anything.' Gibbs admitted. "I let her assume it was because I'm getting my memory back."
"Sin of omission," Tony murmured.
Gibbs blinked. "You know about that?"
"You weren't the only one brought up Catholic." Tony chuckled, squeezing Gibbs' hand. "Although, I'm more lapsed than anything else at this point. Only time I go anymore is Christmas Mass when I can go with Mike's family."
Gibbs winced as the conversation Mike and Tony had over breakfast when they first arrived came to mind. Tony had missed out on that tradition last year because of him. He wouldn't miss out on it this year. Gibbs would make sure of that.
"You still want to tell her, don't you?"
"I'd like to," Gibbs confessed. He wasn't going to lie. Somehow he didn't think Tony would believe him if he did. "Felt wrong to leave her out of what is the best thing in my life."
Tony's soft gasp of surprise registered just before he hugged Gibbs tighter. Gibbs smiled. Okay, maybe he didn't totally suck when it came to words.
"After we've been back a while?gotten settled at work and everything...maybe...maybe then we could tell her."
Tony's hesitant offer warmed Gibbs more than the coffee had. He knew just how much it took for Tony to even suggest it. He turned his head to place a soft kiss on Tony's cheek.
"Whenever you're ready." Gibbs kissed him again. "I'm not in any hurry."
"Thank you."
It was far too small a thing he'd just granted to warrant the level of gratitude he could hear in Tony's voice. Gibbs let it go rather than call him on it. He hoped he'd have the good sense to be just as grateful if he ever needed Tony be willing to accommodate a simple request.
Tony sighed softly. "I don't want to go back."
Gibbs agreed with the sentiment. Staying here, just the two of them, would be perfect. "We don't have to."
"And just what the hell would we do with ourselves if we didn't?" Tony laughed lightly. "Can't see you settling into a quiet life of doing nothing."<
"Why not?"
"You really need an answer to that?"
Gibbs sipped his coffee. "No, not really."
"Didn't think so." Tony nuzzled his neck, place a kiss along his spine. "S'okay. Being driven and active aren't bad things."
Honestly, Gibbs couldn't picture Tony doing nothing but hanging out at the cabin either. It was a nice place to rest and relax, but it definitely lacked most of the things that Gibbs had always thought it would take to make Tony really comfortable. He said as much.
"After awhile I would miss my movies. Cable TV. Having pizza delivered. Running water at my fingertips instead of having to walk for it." Tony snickered. "But if I ever got really serious about staying for more than a few days, the cabin could be updated to include all that stuff."
"You ever stay longer than a few days?"
"Once or twice."
Gibbs wasn't sure what to make of that non-committal answer. He wasn't certain if he should push for more clarification or not. Unwilling to risk disrupting the comfortable mood they'd established since leaving the cabin for Mike's house, Gibbs decided to let it go.
"Most of the time a day or two is all I need," Tony offered quietly a moment later.
Gibbs hesitated before responding, weighing his words carefully. "You said something about not having the balance down yet."
"It's like recharging a battery. Let it go too low and you can't recharge it at all." Tony sighed, leaning into Gibbs'. "Do it too often and the charge doesn't stick."
"And you don't think you've worked out the timing yet?"
"I know I haven't."
Tony pulled away, moving so he stood in front of Gibbs. Although, Gibbs missed the heat at his back and the closeness, he was glad he could now see Tony's face. He needed to be able to read his expression, not just the tone of his voice.
Green eyes met blue. "Once in a while I let it go too long."
"More than junk food and beer can fix?"
"Yeah." Tony shrugged one shoulder in a move that Gibbs recognized as forced nonchalance.
"I should have come here after the whole plague thing. Definitely after...Kate." Tony sighed and looked away. "But there was so much going on--"
"All of us should have taken some time after losing Kate." Gibbs cupped Tony's cheek, drawing green eyes back to him. "Working the case and finding Ari was--"
"I know." Tony turned his head to place a kiss in Gibb's palm. "And after we got him, there was Boone to be dealt with."
Gibbs nodded slowly. After Boone there was another case, another mystery to solve, another puzzle to put together. It was always something demanding their time, needing their attention, requiring their intellect and energy. It was one of the reasons Gibbs loved his job. It challenged him daily.
And working was how Gibbs handled grief, stress, anger, frustration. The job always gave him something to focus on, something he could affect and control. He never gave whether or not it was the right solution for his team a thought.
Gibbs blinked as a flash of memory came to him. He'd been waiting in his car for Tony to come home. He remembered thinking how much better Tony looked when he appeared, suddenly understanding of the amount of stress the younger man had been under, how close to breaking he had probably been, how careless Gibbs had been with Tony's welfare.
"I'm sorry, Tony, I should have realized--"
"Hey, not your fault." Tony smiled. "I worked like that before I met you. You can't take the blame for my messed up mental state. I was nuts before you met me."
"You are not messed up or nuts," Gibbs argued firmly. Tony might be a bit unorthodox in his approach but he wasn't crazy?.at least no more so than Gibbs himself.
"No, I'm not." Tony's smile warmed. "Neither are you."
Gibbs smiled back. "I don't remember you being this good at reading my mind."
"I was always this good." Tony grinned outright. "I just wasn't as vocal about it." He leaned in and gave Gibbs a quick kiss.
Gibbs sighed when Tony pulled back. "I'm going to miss this."
"What?"
"Getting a kiss whenever you feel like giving me one."
"Yeah, me too." Tony ducked his head, a faint blush warming his cheeks. "But we couldn't exactly get away with that at the office even if everyone knew."
Gibbs nodded. There were more than just his personal rules to consider when it came to getting involved with a coworker. If Shepard was gung ho about the regs, she'd reassign one of them to another team the moment she found out. Assuming of course she didn't fire one of them out right. Gibbs knew he could safely bet on who she'd elect to get rid of?.and it wasn't him.
"Everything at the office stays the same then?" It was more a request for agreement than an outright query.
"Seems best to keep it that way," Tony said, his brief hesitation only noticeable to someone who knew him well.<
Gibbs nodded. He voiced his opinion of Shepard's likely reaction, wanting Tony to know their being discreet at work was likely a good thing. It was a matter of good sense, if they were going to be able to continue working together...something they clearly both wanted.
Tony grimaced, nodding. "I'd be lucky if she gave me a chance to clean out my desk."
Gibbs wished he could argue on Shepard's behalf but he knew Tony was right. She would see his involvement with Tony as an excuse to meddle even more in with his team. Why the hell she couldn't find enough to do with her own damn job was anyone's guess. Morrow seemed to find the demands of being Director to be more than enough to keep him busy.
"What about...everything else?" Gibbs asked, knowing he wasn't being very clear, but confident Tony would be able to follow him.
"I can tone down the flirting." Tony shrugged carelessly, obviously not bothered by it. "Haven't been doing it as much lately anyway."
Gibbs forced his features to stay neutral. He didn't want his surprise at not even noticing that little detail to register. It was a wasted effort if the knowing look Tony gave him was anything to go by.
"I can let it slide because you still don't remember everything." Tony waggled his eyebrows, clearly amused. "And I'm sure you were quick to note everyone I did flirt with...if not the ones I didn't."
Gibbs could feel his face warm. "I may have."
"Yeah, and the Pope may be Catholic."
Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Shaddup."
"Don't sweat it, Boss." Tony snickered. "You were supposed to see what you saw, and miss what you didn't."
Gibbs glared at Tony. "I should be smarter than that, damn it."
"You are smarter than that." Tony shook his head. "If it's any consolation, I didn't see you any clearer than you were seeing me."
Gibbs snorted. "Mutual blindness is generally not a good thing."
"Generally, no." Tony used the knuckles of his right hand to lightly caress Gibbs' cheek. "But in this case, temporary, selective sight was necessary. Don't think either of us were ready for more right away."
Gibbs felt his eyes drifting closed as he enjoyed the delicate touch. Tony had nice hands?really nice hands. "Timing is everything."
"That's what they tell me."
Gibbs opened his eyes when Tony withdrew his hand. Tony bit his lip, expression thoughtful. "What about after work? Weekends?"
Gibbs sipped his coffee, buying time to formulate an answer. He wanted to respect Tony's need for them to be careful. They couldn't spend every minute together, no matter how much that was what he wanted.
"We both work late," Gibbs observed slowly. "No one but security sees us leave...or come in for that matter. No one knows for sure where we spend the night or what we do during our off hours."
It wasn't like anyone at the office really gave a damn about their personal lives. His usually gruff nature kept anyone from asking Gibbs outright. And Tony's stories had been circulated enough everyone assumed they knew what he did on his off hours and where he went.
"Don't think anyone is going to feel a sudden compulsion to ask about where we go on our off duty hours," Gibbs opined. "Especially if there is no obvious change in our schedules and habits."
"Point." Tony nodded. "Being at your place won't be a problem then?because I can always forward my home phone to my cell. Most work calls come in on it anyway."
"Can you show me how to do that?"
Tony blinked at him in surprise. "Why?"
"So I can spend the night at your place." He smiled. "Doesn't always have to be mine."
Tony laughed. Gibbs had clearly surprised and delighted him with his offer. It earned him another quick kiss. "I'll forward your phone for you."
"Perfect." Gibbs grinned. They could work out how often they spent nights at which place and where to park the cars later. Right now he'd rather spend a little more time indulging in the freedom their current location afforded them.
"Don't suppose I could interest you in trying out that bed again?"
"Don't think my interest ever waned." Tony smiled, giving Gibbs an unabashedly eager look. "A repeat performance?"
"I was thinking more along the lines of maybe reversing our roles?"
Tony shivered, green eyes glowing. "You want me to top?"
Gibbs leaned in close, nibbling on Tony's earlobe before breathing across the tender flesh. "Yes."
"Finish your coffee." Tony's voice was rough and husky, making Gibbs' shiver with anticipation. The younger man definitely had one hell of a bedroom voice.
Gibbs downed his coffee in one long swallow. He was eager to find out for himself if being taken was as pleasurable as Tony had made it seam earlier.
"It is." Tony whispered, reading Gibbs' thoughts with astonishing accuracy as he walked away, heading for the cabin.
"You going to prove that?" Gibbs challenged, moving to keep pace.
"Oh yes." Tony leered, eyes hot and hungry. "I'll make good on that statement. Never fear."
Fear? Oh he wasn't afraid. Gibbs shivered in anticipation. He was looking forward to it. Definitely.
Author's Chapter Notes:
More converstaion between Gibbs and Tony on how they'll be handing going back to work.