Tony set up another dried piece of wood on the one he'd been using as a chopping block. He hefted the single-edge eight pound maul, eyeing the block before making a smooth, powerful swing. The block split with a sharp crack, neatly divided in half.
He set up one of the halves, splitting it again, again and then once more. The box of kindling was looking a little empty. Tony figured filling it would be a good use of his time while Gibbs was taking a walk. It gave him something to do besides worry about the older man.
Gibbs said he needed some time to think. As long as he wasn't gone too long, Tony figured he could afford to give him some space. It was after all the whole reason he'd brought Gibbs to the cabin. He knew the older man well enough to know he needed to move to work through his thoughts. Gibbs always seemed to think best on his feet.
Tony glanced at his watch. He'd give Gibbs another hour before he went looking. Wasn't that long ago Gibbs was in the hospital. And it would be like him to over do it, push himself too fast, too soon.
Tony sighed and set up another block. Last year, Mike had asked him if he could cut down a few trees. He wanted to experiment with woodworking on his lathe and there were several diseased maples on Tony's land that looked like they had the potential for interesting grain patterns. Mike had been hoping for birds eye or tiger wood. Tony had agreed to let his friend cut several trees, not minding if the forest were thinned a bit. Anything Mike couldn't use Tony told him to just pile up for firewood behind the cabin.
Even with the recent rain, the wood was dry enough to split and burn easily. At this rate he'd have enough to more than fill the kindling box. He might have to move on to splitting some of the Ash for the fireplace. Most of the blocks would fit easily enough at their current size, but they were a bit harder to manhandle into the cabin than Tony cared for.
The faint sound of off key whistling stopped him in mid swing. Tony grinned in welcome as spotted Mike strolling casually around the corner of the cabin. He dropped the maul, leaning casually against the handle the way he might a cane.
"You are tone deaf."
Mike snorted. "I am not."
"You couldn't carry a tune in a bucket," Tony stated firmly.
Mike rolled his eyes. He held up a six-pack of beer. "Keep that up and I won't share."
Tony's gaze narrowed, reading the label. It was his favorite. He held up his hands in surrender. "Deal."
Mike smirked. "You are so easy."
Tony grinned. "Least I'm not cheap."
Mike laughed. "Not sure that's much of a trade off."
Tony picked up the maul and swung it easily so that the blade stuck in the chopping block. He picked up his sweatshirt and shrugged into it. He'd taken it off earlier as the exertion warmed him up. Glancing skyward, he thought it would probably rain again before the day was over.
Mike offered him a bottle before taking a seat on one of the blocks. Tony twisted the top off, taking a seat for himself so he could face his long time friend.
Mike pointed to the maul. "Good to see you still know how to use that thing."
"Thanks for sharpening it."
"No problem." Mike grinned. "Not like you're the only guy using it."
"Ever altruistic." Tony kept his tone dry. "That's what I like about you."
Mike laughed. He twisted the top off his own beer, brown eyes glancing around the area. "Where's your buddy?"
"He's taking a walk."
Tony idly wondered just how Gibbs would react to being characterized as his 'buddy'. They were friends...sort of. Not like he and Mike were friends or even him and Abby. Tony figured there was a bit too much supervisor and subordinate in their relationship for him and Gibbs to qualify as friends. But lately?before this last case, it had seemed like there was a bit more there.
Gibbs stopped by his place for dinner a few times, even sat through a couple of movies. Tony never really knew when he'd show up or why. He cherished those moments, grateful for the time alone with Gibbs. But he was leery of becoming used to them, afraid he'd read more into them than they warranted.
Gibbs was just being?nice. It wasn't normal for him, but it didn't mean Gibbs wanted or expected any more than a little company either. His mysterious red-head hadn't been seen for awhile. Maybe Gibbs just didn't want to be alone. Everyone got lonely, right? It wasn't like Gibbs stopped by every night. Even though Tony wouldn't mind if he did.
Mike's eyes narrowed, his piercing gazed fixed on Tony. "You want to talk about it?"
"About what?" Tony tried not to fidget, unsure of what Mike was asking.
"About why you're here." Mike arched an eyebrow. "I'm guessing it's got something to do with Gibbs looking like nine miles of bad road."
Nine miles of bad road was a fairly accurate description of Gibbs. The still healing burns on his face made him look a bit like he'd gotten too much sun. And he was moving stiffly enough to suggest he'd been injured in some fashion.
"Not be the first time you've brought some one here...but it usually isn't something you do on a whim, Tony. You've talked a lot about Gibbs, but I didn't think I'd get the chance to meet him. Certainly not here." Mike sipped his beer and his expression clearly said he was willing to wait as long as he needed to for Tony to explain.
Mike knew Tony used the cabin as a place to recover, to regain strength, to settle his thoughts, calm his spirit. He often referred to Tony as only showing up when he seemed to be one of the walking wounded. Tony rarely came to the cabin when things were good in his life. And because of that, it was very rare he shared the place with anyone else.
"Our last case...We were trying to make contact with an undercover agent." Tony sighed. It sounded so simple. And it should have been that easy. In hindsight, they should have known better. He never should have let Gibbs go alone.
"There was an explosion."
Mike's posture stiffened. His eyes suddenly focused on Tony with greater scrutiny. "You get hurt?"
"No." Tony shook his head. He took a long pull of his beer. "I wasn't there." He could hear the guilt in his voice and winced knowing Mike could hear it as well.
"Betting you weren't too far away."
"Far enough." The docks had been a safe place for Ziva, McGee and Tony to wait, but they were too damn far to do Gibbs much good as back up. He should have argued harder against the idea when Gibbs laid out the plan.
"Gibbs was closer to it, I take it?"
"Same room." Tony winced. "Lucky to be alive."
He closed is eyes, struggling to keep his breathing even. When he'd entered the ship's laundry room, Tony had thought Gibbs was dead. There was blood and debris everywhere. He was glad Ziva was the one to check for a pulse. He hadn't trusted his own ability to confirm once since that drunken sailor, passed out in his truck, had startled him badly by sitting up when Tony thought he was dead.
Getting help for Gibbs had been of critical importance. Tony made sure the former Marine was taken to the best trauma center in the area. He'd never thought of his boss as mortal. Ever. The man was more like a force of nature. He was been a constant in Tony's life, and someone the younger man always expected to be there. Tony couldn't picture life without him. It made his gut tighten and his chest hurt just thinking about how all too human and vulnerable Gibbs had looked strapped to a backboard.
A light touch on his arm made Tony open his eyes. Brown eyes searched green. "You okay?"
Tony took a breath, and nodded. "Getting there."
He better understood why Gibbs so often threw himself into his work. Tony would have been useless at the hospital. The best medical staff in the world was far more capable than Tony, much better equipped to help Gibbs than he'd ever be. His time was better spent tracking down the bastard that had put Gibbs in a coma in the first place. It was the only way he could help, the only way to be productive, to make a difference.
It hurt to not be able to see the man after he'd woken up, but Tony was acting team leader. He had to do what he knew Gibbs would expect of him. Letting him down was unacceptable even if Gibbs couldn't remember who the hell Tony was.
"Gibbs was in a coma for three days." Tony cleared his throat. "I was...I was acting team leader."
"Was that a problem?" Mike asked quietly. "You being in charge, I mean?"
Tony had confided in Mike in the past that he was wary of being placed in position of authority. It wasn't that he didn't want to advance, or was unwilling to work hard. For all his bravado and devil-may-care attitude, Tony worried about fucking things up. He didn't want to get anyone hurt or killed. Nor did he want to fail at putting together the pieces of a case. Letting the 'bad guys' get away with it wasn't something he ever wanted to have to live with. That lack of confidence was one of the reasons Tony usually left after two years. That two year mark was typically about the time his superiors started hinting at promoting him or assigning him more responsibility.
Until working for Gibbs, Tony never had much confidence in his skill or ability to be in charge. Gibbs had shown him how to lead. Given him an example he could follow. Gibbs trusted him. And that counted for a lot. It was worth the risk to stay.
Tony half smiled, shaking his head. Looking back on it, he might have had to justify his behavior to his teammates but none of them questioned his right to be in charge. He hadn't been able to tell them that acting like Gibbs was a way of being close to the older man. That he felt more competent to handle the job if he acted like the man he always had faith in. It was easier to just put it in terms they could relate to. And honestly, they were all conditioned to respond to Gibbs' mannerisms. There was no point in disrupting what worked. No reason to fix what wasn't broken.
Seeing Mike was still waiting for an answer, Tony shrugged. "I did okay."
"Just okay?" Mike arched an eyebrow. "I'm sure you did better than that."
The statement was delivered with a quiet confidence and surety that nearly made Tony blush. Mike never had any doubts about Tony's ability to do anything he put his mind to. It was another thing that made Mike so different from nearly anyone else Tony had ever met.
Tony shook his head. "Nineteen men died."
"Your fault?" Mike asked softly, no blame in the question, just honest curiosity.
"I don't know." Tony sighed heavily as he considered the question. He rubbed tiredly at his eyes. "Ultimate decision wasn't mine. But if I'd have found the clues sooner...was smarter...put it together faster?maybe things would have been different. But I didn't have all the information. No way to find it. Gibbs knew but he was--"
"In a coma."
"Yeah." Tony took a sip from his beer. Time had been running out. His gut kept telling him there was no way he'd be able to put the pieces together fast enough; there was just too much missing. Tony couldn't pin down why or how he knew there was a deadline, but he'd never questioned his instinct.
"And even when he woke up, Gibbs had retrograde amnesia." Tony ran a hand through his hair. He swallowed hard, unconsciously focusing on the moment when the Director told them Gibbs had woken up thinking it was 1991, that he didn't remember any of them and that his doctor would tell them when they could visit. It was like getting suckered punched, only it hurt a hell of a lot more.
"Damn." Mike cursed softly, drawing Tony back into the conversation. "Sounds like a lose, lose all the way around."
"Not entirely." Tony grimaced. "Gibbs got enough of the pieces back to figure out the case." That Gibbs had recovered in time to give them what they needed was a minor miracle. It was a miracle squandered.
Tony sighed, rubbing at his eyes again. "There was time to stop those men from getting killed...But they wouldn't listen."
"They?" Mike asked.
"The powers that be." Tony didn't bother to name them all. Most wouldn't mean anything to Mike anyway.
"God, Tony...I'm sorry."
"Me too."
Mike hesitated, toying with his beer bottle. "You ever consider quitting?"
Tony smiled tightly. "Couple of times."
He hadn't recently. Not since the last time he'd been at the cabin. Things had been good for months. The thought of leaving Gibbs, never seeing the older man again, was really too painful to contemplate, especially when things seemed to be getting better between them. Tony knew it was foolish to hold out hope for more, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. He'd been carrying the torch for too long to really give it up.
"Think Gibbs is considering it," Tony admitted. He knew all too well what that look in Gibbs eyes meant when he'd left the office. He'd seen it in his own eyes too often not to recognize it.
Mike pursed his lips. "That why you brought him here?"
"Not exactly." Tony smiled wryly. "I was on my way here when he showed up at my place." Part of Tony's decision to come to the cabin had been based on his need to figure out what he'd do if Gibbs chose to leave NCIS. He wasn't sure he could stay if that happened.
Tony shrugged. "He said he needed help to fill in the blanks and wanted to just get away for awhile. So I brought him with me."
Mike cocked his head. "Thought you said he got his memory back?"
"Not all of it. Not yet." Being here seemed to be helping, but Tony wasn't sure it would be enough. "He lost fifteen years, Mike."
"Damn." Mike sat back, blinking. "That's...a bit...wow."
"Yeah." Tony sipped his beer.
"Fifteen years," Mike breathed out in an awed whisper. "God...I'd still be married."
Tony snickered. "Now she would be worth forgetting." Mike had only been married for six months. Tony still wasn't sure what the hell his friend had seen in the woman. She was nothing like the women Mike usually dated. But then lots of alcohol and a trip to Vegas had been involved.
Mike reached out and smacked Tony on the thigh. "Not like you've got room to talk. You got your own share of bad choices."
"Hey, I have never been that committed. Never even got close to exchanging rings." The only person he'd ever thought about making that sort of commitment to didn't think of him in those terms.
"No but fifteen years ago you were serious about dating that schmuck." Mike pointed a finger at him. "That blond...what the hell was his name?"
"Seth." Tony supplied, his jaw tightening at the reminder of what he considered one of his worst mistakes.
He rubbed his left shoulder, feeling the scar Seth had left him with. Tony felt like a fool for not realizing Seth had only really been interested in him because of the DiNozzo name. It was hard to remember ever being that naive.
Their relationship had just passed the one year mark when Seth found out Tony wasn't going to get a dime of his daddy's money. He'd been livid. In a drunken rage, Seth attacked Tony with a broken bottle, screaming about Tony leading him on with promises of the good life and ruining his chance at getting what he deserved for putting up with Tony.
Tony was giving serious consideration to a career in law enforcement at the time, so he never reported the incident. Tony never even went to the hospital for the injury, unwilling to risk any sort of paper trail. He was afraid of how it would look if anyone found out his male lover had attacked him. If it was one thing he could say he learned from his father it was the value of discretion.
Fortunately one of his frat brothers was pre-med. Tony had convinced him to supply some antibiotics and give him a tetanus shot without ever telling him why he needed them. The wound had healed well enough, leaving the ragged scar as a permanent reminder.
"Shit...I'm sorry, Tony. I shouldn't have brought him up." Mike's tone was genuinely remorseful. "I didn't mean--"
"I know you didn't." Tony made the effort to smile. Mike wasn't the sort to hurt people he cared about on purpose. "Seth wasn't one of my stellar moments?and you tried to warn me about him then."
"Yeah well, you tried to warn me about Bette too." Mike shook his head. "I was too damn dumb to listen."
Tony held up his half empty beer bottle. "Here's to learning from our mistakes."
Mike tapped his bottle against Tony's. "Amen, brother, amen."
"So what did you come out here for?" Tony asked, determined to change the subject, knowing Mike would let him. He hadn't been expecting to see Mike until dinner time. "Don't get me wrong...I'm grateful for the beer, but I could have had one when I came down later."
"About dinner," Mike hesitated, biting his lip. "You remember Heather?"
Tony frowned, trying to place the name, and then grinned when he did. "That the pretty little brunette you've been too afraid to ask out on a date?"
"I was not afraid." Mike glared. "I was just...waiting for the right moment."
Tony made a go on motion with his hand. "I'm assuming you brought her up for a reason."
"She said yes."
"You finally asked her out? Sweet." Tony laughed, delighted Mike had taken the plunge. "You going out tonight then?"
"Want to, but I'd invited you guys to dinner?"
"I can't believe you worried about that." Tony stared at his friend. "Oh, don't tell me you are looking for an excuse to back out? You chicken shit." Tony pointed a finger at Mike. "You will not use me as reason to back out on a date with the woman you've been raving about since the day you met her."
Mike fidgeted a little. "I haven't been raving."
"Right." Tony snorted, grinning at the obvious embarrassment Mike was displaying. "How about glowing then? Making cow eyes? Getting all tongue tied? Love sick?"
"Shaddup."
"Only if you promise to take her out tonight and have a good time."
"Deal."
"And you thought I was easy." Tony snickered.
"You are easy."
"Takes one to know one, buddy."
Mike laughed. "I'll leave something in the fridge for you."
"Lasagna?"
"Just for you, sure."
"Yes!" Tony ignored his friend's put upon sigh, pumping his fist into the air. "You do love me."
"Of course, I love you." Mike rose to his feet, leaning down to kiss Tony's forehead. "Love all my brothers."
Tony raised a hand to shove Mike away. Mike caught it and pulled Tony to his feet, tugging him into a hard hug. Tony returned it, patting Mike on the back.
"Thanks man," Tony whispered. "For everything."
"Any time, Antonio." Mike pulled back, and placed a kiss on one cheek and then the other. "Whenever, whatever. All you have to do is call."
Tony stepped back and froze when he saw Gibbs leaning against the corner of the cabin. He had no idea how long the older man had been there, what he might have heard and what he would think Tony's interaction with Mike. And just as quickly, Tony decided he didn't care. Mike was his friend; Tony had never been ashamed of him and he sure as hell wasn't going to start now.
"You have a nice walk, Boss?" Tony asked nonchalantly.
"I did." Gibbs nodded, smiling politely, if a little distantly at Mike.
"Good afternoon, Gibbs." Mike greeted him easily, clearly not perturbed by the former Marine's silent appearance.
"Mike." Gibbs nodded in greeting. Blue eyes sharpened as they regarded Mike, almost as though he was sizing him up. Tony wasn't quite sure what to make of the look. It wasn't hostile but it wasn't warm either.
Mike glanced toward Tony. A twinkle of mischief was readily visible in brown eyes. He wasn't offended by the look or intimidated by it either. When Mike spoke, it was in the Italian dialect his family often used, Piedmontese. "I think he's jealous. Should I kiss you again and find out for sure?"
Tony rolled his eyes, punching Mike lightly in the arm.. His friend knew about his crush on Gibbs. He also knew Tony fully expected it to go nowhere, something he'd gently been pushing for Tony to actually be brave enough to confirm rather than just assume Gibbs wan't interested. There was no way Gibbs was jealous...digusted possibly, unnerved maybe, or annoyed perhaps, but not jealous.
Without thinking about it Tony responded in the same language, ignoring Gibbs for the moment. "You are so not funny, Mike."
"Heather thinks I am."
"She's already biased." Tony snorted. "She'd have to be to agree to a date with you."
Mike's over done affonted dignity dignity made it hard for Tony not to smile. "Momma says I'm a good catch."<
Fighting back a smirk, Tony countered, "She says that about Gabe too."
"I take it back." Mike mock glared at him. "I don't love you. Never did."
"Too late." Tony's answer was a sing-song tease. "Way, way too late."
"True." Mike agreed, smiling warmly. He handed Tony the remaining four beers still in their cardboard carrier. "Might was well keep these. No point in them going to waste."
"Okay." The well water would be cold enough to keep them cool. Tony wouldn't mind having another later on.
Mike switched to English. "I'll see you later."
"I expect details." Tony smiled, waggling his eyebrows. "All the good stuff."
Mike flipped him the one finger salute. "Don't hold your breath."
Tony's smile grew into a bright grin. "Spoil sport."
Mike smiled at Gibbs as he walked past him. "Glad you are enjoying your stay."
Gibbs seemed to hesitate for a moment, as though unsure just how to respond. "Thank you."
Gibbs gaze narrowed as he watched the Mike leave. He gaze came back to Tony. "Why was he here? And what was that last bit about?"
Tony was used to his boss' abrupt manner, questions that bordered on being an interrogation. But he wasn't about to translate the substance of his conversation with Mike. He didn't have to. Tony could easily offer the reason why Mike had stopped by. "He's got a date tonight. Girl he's been trying to trying to hook up with since he met her three months ago. Mike just wanted to make sure we'd be okay fending for ourselves if he took off."
Gibbs nodded. Tony figured it was his imagination that that made it seem as thought the older man's shoulders lost some tension. Could be he was just still a bit jumpy over everything that had happened recently, expecting the worst.
"Grottoes have a decent restaurant?" Gibbs asked. "You aren't the only one who can't cook worth a damn."
Tony set the beer down on the block he'd been sitting on. "Mike's got lasagna in the fridge." He picked up an armload of kindling. "So dinner will be ready whenever we are."
"He's a good friend to you." Gibbs statement was more of a question.
"The best." Tony tossed his armload into the large wooden box that fit neatly under the eaves. He threw in another armload, not surprised to find Gibbs working with him. Between the two of them the job was completed quickly.
Tony kept an armload to carry inside, dumping it in the tin box near the fireplace. Gibbs went into the bedroom. Tony heard a rattle that had to be the pill bottle he'd given the older man earlier. He was glad he'd thought to grab those before leaving his place. He looked up when Gibbs came back into the main room.
"You want a beer?"
"Sure." Gibbs took the bottle, eyeing it. "Your favorite."
"Mike knows my preferences better than McGee." Tony shrugged. Gibbs knew his preferences better than McGee too, but Tony refrained from pointing that out. He still wasn't sure why Gibbs cared or bothered to learn them.
Tony settled in on the couch with a sigh. He wouldn't mind taking a nap but didn't want to say that out loud, uncertain of how it would be received. He glanced out the window. It was raining again.
"You got anything here to do besides read?" Gibbs sounded uncharacteristically hesitant. He almost sounded embarrassed. "I...ah...I forgot my glasses."
Tony nodded. "Got a few games, I think." He got up and opened a small cupboard. He usually stayed at Mike's if he wanted to do more than rest or read, but they did occasionally hang out at the cabin.
"I got cards." Tony rummaged around. "Cribbage board. Dominos. Checkers. Backgammon."
"Backgammon is fine."
Tony set the scarred leather case on the wooden trunk coffee table. The game had belonged to Zeke. He'd given it to Tony when he'd gotten a new backgammon set for Christmas one year. It was Zeke's favorite board came. Sammy preferred Monopoly and Gabe's favorite was scrabble. Mike liked dominoes or mahjong.
While Gibbs set up the board, Tony lit the kerosene lamp that sat on the mantel. A little more light certainly wouldn't hurt.
Tony glanced around the room, taking in everything, memorizing the moment. He added it to the mental index he had of his times alone with Gibbs. Whether Gibbs stayed with NCIS or left, Tony was glad he'd brought him to the cabin. If he never got more than this, Tony was glad he had this much. It wasn't enough, not really, but it was better than nothing.
"You want to start?"
"Sure." Tony rolled the dice.
Author's Chapter Notes:
What Tony is doing while Gibbs is taking a walk.