DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. I'm just enjoying these two characters and making other people enjoy them too. I'm not making money off this. If I did, I wouldn't be sitting here right now.
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Some people would consider me a ‘fool'. Some would consider me ‘brave'. I let my lover go to Mexico and I miss him already.
He didn't say much when I drove him home from NCIS HQ, he was submerged in his own world, his own thoughts, and he didn't need to tell me what he was thinking. He muttered something in the way of "Lying Bastards." And then I knew why he handed over his badge and gun to Anthony. My Jethro had lost faith in the system. The system, that's supposed to protect his citizens, that's supposed to be frank with his citizens. Of course, some things needed to stay a secret to make sure that the citizens didn't start a rebellion. Maybe, very maybe, the terrorist attack on the Navy was better off as a ‘boating accident'. But perhaps not. Jethro had gotten emotional up in MTAC. He had admitted that, mostly because a good man got killed and he nearly died as well. People had died for a good cause. The people on those boats, died too, only because there was a hole in the security. People deserved to know the truth, and that's why Jethro did what he did.
I stayed with him that night. I watched him as he worked on his boat in silence, drinking bourbon. He occasionally spoke, and I didn't ask him. It was obvious that Jethro's memory wasn't yet intact. He still had a few holes to fill, and I'd try to fill them for him when he asked. It wasn't really Jethro who I saw working on the boat, it was a tame Jethro, defeated, sad and maybe a little exposed. He didn't want people to know about Shannon and Kelly. He had told me, of course, and I had been with him when he visited their grave when he returned from Desert Storm. Of course I knew him before Desert Storm. I loved him before Desert Storm. But, to protect him and his secret missions, and to protect myself from possible harm, Jethro and I had made an agreement of not knowing each other before 1991, before he joined NIS. No one knew. Not even Special Agent Franks. Jethro didn't want to put me in jeopardy and I didn't want him to get hurt. Every year, we'd act like we didn't know each other for one day, and met each other over dinner. Every year, so Jethro could accustom himself to not knowing me, in case he'd get kidnapped and tortured, in case someone would find out that he loved me, in case… of amnesia. And I had accepted his choice. I had acted along with him. I had acted upset this time, when he didn't ‘recognize' me. It was hard, and not really necessary, but Jethro's subconscious had taken over. Every year… August 31st.
"So, Tobias married wife #2?" Jethro spoke up.
"Yes, dear." I replied.
"Did I warn him?"
"Oh, countless of times. But you know Tobias, he doesn't listen."
"Did you warn him?"
"Of course."
"Wait… you introduced me to Diane!" Jethro blurted and turned around to face me.
"I have apologized afterwards."
"You did?"
"I did."
"And she's still stalking me?"
"Only at your anniversary, dearest."
"Oh." And with that, Jethro turned back to his boat and picked up his work. Jethro looked troubled, and tired and I was waiting for him to pass out on top of his boat.
"Jethro?"
"Yes, Duck?"
"Let's go to bed."
Jethro turned once again to me and nodded. "I'm a little tired." He responded. I walked towards him, put my arm around him and we went upstairs. He slowly undressed himself, silently went to the bathroom to take a shower and returned. "Why didn't you join me in the shower?"
"Because you are tired, Jethro." I replied. "I'd have…"
"I need you, Duck." He interrupted me. "I want you. I want to feel… and I want to forget."
"Not tonight, dearest." I softly kissed him and helped him into bed before I crawled in myself. "If you need me tonight, don't hesitate to wake me."
It was quiet for a while and then Jethro sighed. "Duck?"
"Yes, dearest?"
"I think I'm going to Mexico for a while, to Mike."
I sighed a little and nodded. "If that's what you want, dearest."
"Do you mind?"
"No, of course not." I faintly smiled. "If you think that you need to go to Mexico, then go."
He didn't need me right now. I knew that, I felt it with pain in my heart. Jethro needed to go to Mexico. Away from all the things that bothered him. Not that I bothered him, he loved me in many ways than one, and I loved him that much equally back. He needed to be away. Jethro had always been the one to run away from things that were beyond his head, he had always been the one to run away in search for himself, and if he needed to go to Mexico for that, I didn't mind.
At least this time, I knew where he was going.
Three months passed. I did my work, the way that was expected of me, I tried to make sure that Jimmy understood what I was doing, and that he understood that it's not good to make bad jokes about the departed. I taught Jimmy how to handle Anthony. Anthony was trying to lead the team, but he was insecure. He often came down to Autopsy to ask my opinion, and the all to obvious question; ‘What Would Gibbs Do?'. Anthony wasn't one who was able to treat the team members equally, but yet also a bit different. Abigail needed a different approach than, for example, Timothy. Anthony was able to lead the team for a day, a week at most, but he'd rather had Jethro back.
Abigail came to me in Autopsy regularly. She often talked about how she missed her ‘silver haired fox' and she often complained about Anthony as well. She had even refused to come to work for a day because Anthony had barked at her, which was very unpleasant. But I had told her that Anthony was lost. He needed guidance and no matter how much he asked for my help, I was only an M.E. and Jennifer was the Director.
I missed Jethro deeply. I missed his presence, I missed his smile, I missed his voice and I missed him as a whole. I took care of his house and mail, and Mother liked the extra attention she received from me. Even though Mother's Alzheimer's was getting worse, she sensed something was different. Something was missing, and she knew exactly what. She avoided to speak Jethro's name, but she knew exactly what I needed.
I had taken a day off at our ‘anniversary'. I couldn't bear working without him on that date. I was playing Gin with Mother when my phone rang. "Doctor Mallard, I presume?" Jethro's voice sounded.
"Yes?"
"Why aren't you at work?"
"I'm sorry?" I decided to play along. My Jethro was back, back in time for our anniversary. My Jethro was back, where he belonged. My Jethro was back, and he was himself.
"Why aren't you at work? I expect you to be here in 15 minutes, Doctor Mallard."
We drove home separately. I had made sure that the nurse was with Mother and I waited for my Jethro to come home, in my arms as I waited for him inside his house.
"Happy Anniversary, Duck." Jethro smiled, as he approached me from the shadows of the hallway, a bottle of good, strong whiskey in his hands. He kissed me passionately. "You have no idea how much I have missed you."
"Welcome back, Jethro dearest."
Story Notes:
Just tying a few lose ends... response to the Anniversary challenge at the livejournal community ncis_gibbsducky.
Author's Chapter Notes:
He knows why.
Chapter End Notes:
Just tying a few lose ends... response to the Anniversary challenge at the livejournal community ncis_gibbsducky.