"What the hell!" a voice barked.
Would you behave? Please? I have no use for you today.
"Get me back!"
I'm not an all-mighty TV series writer.
"You write stories. About me, about *my* doctor."
Sort of.
"I hear you're damn good too."
I'm not.
"Ah come on… show me what you got."
Nope.
"What's that noise?"
What noise?
"Those bells thingy."
Oh… that. That's Ren…
"Who?"
Feenixandashes.
"Oh, HER! Another writer!"
And?
"What does she say?"
Ren: he will get mad
Ren: you won't like him when he gets mad
"Damn right she is."
Ren: he ain't very happy here himself
Ren: draped over the inmovable form of Ducky at the moment
Ren: so don't make him mad
"What the hell! Is she hurting Duck?!"
Don't worry, he'll be fine.
Ren: for the moment
Ren: ouch.....
Ren: he hit me
Anita: yeah... I'll restrain him
Ren: give him coffee
"I don't need caffeine. I need to know how my Duck is doing!"
Hey, chill out! He'll be fine. And … well I could indeed restrain you… you're naked anyway.
Ren: It's gone very quiet now....... Are you ok there?....
Anita: *thud*
"Even naked, I can threaten you."
You're sitting on *my* chair. You're throwing your famous glares at me… what next?
"This."
OUCH!
"That's also famous, isn't it?"
That hurt!
"And you're better not be lighting that Llama."
Too late. I love Llama's. Weird though… not being allowed to say "Camel"
"Give me that."
NO!
"Give me clothes. Give me coffee… and let me watch you work."
Ren: best do as he says LOL
"She knows what she's talking about."
Oh, don't be so smug. Here you go.
Special Agent Gibbs walked to his closet and grabbed his tanga slip with tiger print.
"HEY!"
Now what?
"That's for special … eh… occasions."
Boxers?
"Hell yeah."
Ren: tiger print tangas, no wonder Ducky is unwell, parading around like that is certainly going to raise more than well... you know what..
"Ducky is unwell?!"
Shush. Let me write.
Special Agent Gibbs walked to his closet and grabbed his tanga slip with tiger print. He smiled to himself, remembering the rare occasion that he wore it. Him and his Ducky, he, doing a striptease in front of his lover, his lover, watching with big eyes as he saw Gibbs' package in that slip. Their love, could have burned down the house that night. Gibbs put away the slip and grabbed his boxers. After putting those on, he got into a pair of pinstriped trousers and a matching shirt.
"Hey, I'm not Doctor HOT."
Are you inside my head or something?
"Probably. Other wise you wouldn't be having this conversation with me."
Fine. Shall I let you walk on bare feet then? Because I was planning to give you those Converse shoes.
"How young do you think I am, exactly?!"
My age.
"Ha! You wish!"
Watch out for that Dalek.
"You're keeping the Doctor Who fandom away from me or I'll…"
Do what?
"…"
Fine, I'll respect your wishes. Just don't ask me to rip away the Ducky muse from Ren, otherwise she'll be mad.
"Deal."
Gibbs, or Jethro, as his friends called him, walked down the stairs towards the kitchen to get his fresh coffee. He had been making coffee before he had taken the shower and it smelled good. No, not good, awesome was the word.
"Awesome?"
Oh right, I forgot. You're not a surfer boy.
"Dude!"
Now, that's totally out of character.
"Hey!"
That's more like it.
Gibbs, or Jethro, as his friends called him, walked down the stairs towards the kitchen to get his fresh coffee. He had been making coffee before he had taken the shower and it smelled good. No, not good, fantastic was the word. He sat down in his big recliner chair in the living room and enjoyed his cup of coffee. He had a day off today, a day off from chasing the bad guys.
"I'm in Mexico, you idiot."
I forgot.
"Get me out of Mexico."
Now how the hell should I do that? I'm not DPB. I'm not your creator.
"You're a writer."
Not that famous.
"You've got a fan."
Wow.
"Get me out of here."
How?
"Get Ducky into trouble."
I can't. His muse is unwell and he's with Ren.
"Damn her."
That's not nice.
"I don't care. I want my Duck."
Nope, sorry. Don't want to get on Ren's bad side. You'd better think of something else.
"Me? You're the writer!"
You're my muse.
"Get Abby into trouble!"
Again? She already had her angsty moments in season 3, you know that. You comforted her in the elevator.
"Ugh."
Ziva collects?
"NO!"
Well, I guess you're stuck then.
"Kill Mike."
I can't.
"Why not?!"
Well… I don't want to. No more drama. The only way you're getting out of Mexico is leaving yourself.
"But I can't! I'm here to lure Jen out of her lair and show what kind of BITCH she is."
Is she?
"Hell yes! She took advantage of me while I was suffering from amnesia. Saying that I had to call her ‘Jenny'. Makes me want to throw up. I feel used. And then I'm not even talking about Paris!"
What happened in Paris?
"I had sex with Jen."
NOOO really? Gee… like we don't know. Those stupid flashbacks.
"I think they're stupid too, but it was nifty in the season finale, wasn't it?"
Yes…
"Jen betrayed me while we were on a case. She even smiled when I got arrested."
That Bitch.
"Yep. So that's why I'm here."
But what if she hurts Ducky?
"Then she has an even bigger problem."
And why Mexico? You could have locked yourself up in your basement with your beloved boat.
"Because…"
Well?
"Just because."
Want me to get Jack for you?
"Jack?"
Jack O'Neill… as in… your ex-boyfriend from many many years ago?
"Jack?!"
Yes or no?
"And then what?"
I'll write you having sex.
"But then I'll betray Ducky."
He'll understand.
"No he won't."
Please?
"No."
*sighs*
"You're giving up easy."
Well… yeah duh. You're a tough act to follow. How on earth can I write a story with you being a pain in the neck? I expect a little bit of cooperation from you.
"Ha!"
Now what?
"Admit it. You want to write that Ducky and me are having sex."
You wish.
"But you can't. As Ren has Ducky's muse."
Yup.
"Shall I get him?"
OOOO
Ren: hey keep your hands of him
"Jethro?"
"You're safe now, Duck."
"But… what is going on? Where am I now?"
"Safe."
"Yes, I know that but… Ren was using me."
"Using or abusing?"
"Both!"
"See? You're safe."
I don't think that Ren is happy with this.
"I don't care!"
"Who are you?"
"That's Anita. She writes us."
"Writing us… I hadn't figured that one out yet." Ducky rolled his eyes. "She's getting impatient."
"I know."
"In what way, dearest?"
"The way we truly are. Just like Ren, Nikki, Fiona, and all the other girls."
"Girls write us?"
"Yes."
"That's… interesting."
Eh… I'm truly sorry Doctor Mallard…
"Ducky, please."
Ducky… but eh… I have to return you to Ren… I don't want her to send Steel or Illya to… throttle me.
Ren: give him back now I need him
Ren: i want to post today and I cant if he is there
"Hurry, dear."
Leroy Jethro Gibbs kissed his lover intense and passionately before letting him go. "Love you, Duck."
"I'll be fine, dearest. Ren is cunning and able."
*POOF!*
"Dammit!"
Hey!
"I want my Duck!"
Oh shut up. You're not helping. Back on the shelf you. Get out of my head.
"But…"
GO! Or I might write your death scene.
"You wouldn't!"
Would
"I'm not going anywhere."
Gibbs decided to go into town and go to that bar Mike had spoken of. When he entered the bar, he was slightly confused. The men sitting there looked like tough criminals and he didn't understand why Mike would want to sit here. "Leroy Gibbs?" a young Mexican got up.
"That's me."
"I have a message from Jenny." The Mexican got a gun out of his pocket and pointed it at Gibbs.
"STOP!"
You give?
"I'll go…"
Good.
"But… change the setting to D.C. and Jen in my place."
Deal.
"We'll meet again."
Definately.
Jennifer Shepard decided to drink her sorrow away in a bar in one of the back alleys of Washington D.C. If she needed to protect herself, she had her sig in her holster underneath her coat. She just needed to get away. When she entered one of the bars, she was surprised to see no women in there. Just men. Hispanic men. Or Mexican. Or… something else. This didn't look too good for her. "Jennifer Shepard?" a young Mexican got up.
"Yes?"
"I have a message from Gibbs." The Mexican got a gun out of his pocket and shot her.
Story Notes:
Eh… this is utter nonsense. Really. It’s something like my story “Right… right?” I wrote a while ago, when I had a discussion with a character from Mutant X. My head is a scary place.
Author's Chapter Notes:
A muse is bored, but isn’t giving any good ideas either.
Story is exactly as the title says... Don't let a muse talk back!
Story is exactly as the title says... Don't let a muse talk back!
Chapter End Notes:
Eh… this is utter nonsense. Really. It’s something like my story “Right… right?” I wrote a while ago, when I had a discussion with a character from Mutant X. My head is a scary place.