Gibbs lay all awake next to his lover. This never had been his field. He never was a man of nicknames. Yes, he had had nicknames for Shannon and Kelly, but after that he only used terms like „darling" or „love" if one of his ex-wives tried to hit him with different kind of sport equipment, one more successfull than the other.
And yes, he had called Him some things. But fucking bitch and son of a bitch were not the nickname you would use at your breakfast table, actually those didn't fit in any definition of nicknames. Those were things you said while fucking the other through the mattress after a tough case, or get fucked for that matter. You don't even use it when you make love. A nickname was supposed to sound loving, caring and fitting. And exactly that was the problem. Sure, Gibbs loved Him or he wouldn't bother with a nickname. And certainly he cared for Him. The fitting made the deal. The fitting was what made Gibbs crack his head.
Gibbs once more hated himself for his high expectations not only to others but to himself. He expected from himself to find a fitting, loving and special nickname for the man lying next to him sleeping quietly. A sloppy honey wouldn't do it and he knew He deserved more. Gibbs wanted more for Him because he love Him so much. Let hell freeze over and heaven burn nothing but death would take him Tony away, and nothing would take him away from Tony.
His eyes traced His body for a sign, something what would hint him. Tony hadn't asked him for a nickname. The younger man seemed to be content with it that Gibbs called him Tony, at home as well as in the office but Gibbs hated it. Maybe because they worked together. Maybe because at work he couldn't touch, he couldn't love that man as he wanted to. First it was DiNozzo in the office and Tony at home but soon that didn't work since he caught himself calling the other man Tony more often and that's why he's lying here all awake thinking about a nickname.
He knew that the perfect nickname expressed all his feelings for Tony everytime he used it. It would be something only the two of them would understand but everybody who hears it would know what it means for them. It would sooth if the other was furious and it would arouse if Gibbs wants him to. For a moment Gibbs tried to figure why it happened tonight that he thought about it but then he knew it already. That night they had sex, sex, they hadn't made love, they had just sex. It was rough and needy, it was what Tony needed after that day in the cell, satisfying, sure, but only physically. Emotionally Gibbs wasn't satisfied. He had that feeling that he hadn't showed Tony how much he loved Him that night.
Gibbs jealous remembered the night Tony and Ziva had shared a bed. After only a few months and one time faked (He'll kill her if not) sex she already had a nickname for Him. Hairy butt. Ok, not the very nicest but it fit, somehow. And he? He knew that man for five years now, for nearly one year they were a couple and he just couldn't find a fucking nickname.
Gibbs sighed. All what came to his mind were those boring all world‘s nicknames. Sweetheart, honey, love, darling, peanut and so on. What the hell was wrong with him? Wasn't there something obvious? What were the things he loved Tony for? Wasn't there something what made him special? Of course Tony was special and Gibbs knew that, but was Gibbs just blind to see that? He never felt the need to analyse his love, well yes to analyse his feelings, the what but not the why.
What was Tony? What made Him to the man he loved more than live?
Tony was handsome. Hot as hell. He was intelligent and charming. He certainly was one of the best Agent Gibbs had ever worked with, something he told everybody with pride, except Tony of course. Tony had enchanted him.
Tony stirred and Gibbs knew he had a nightmare. He also knew that Tony needed the rest and he didn't want to wake him up.
„Calm down, Charm, it's just a nightmare."
Strangely Tony calmed down. His eyes became more restfull behind his lids and his breath evened again. Charm. So this was his nickname. Yeah, it fits. Gibbs smiled and found finally his way into sleep.
Tony lay there pretending to be asleep. He was good at pretending. Maybe Jethro was asleep, Tony didn't knew. His breath was even as if he was but with Jethro you never knew for sure unless you saw his face but Tony had his back to him.
Yet another sleepless night in that Tony thinks about the same as always. He was nearly a year with Jethro and in normal nights there was nothing bothering him about their relationship but in nights like this he wondered why he hadn't found a nickname for Him yet.
Tony used some nicknames with Jethro already. Honey, baby, boss, those came out of his mouth without thinking much but he knew they were nothing really special. How many girls and guys he had called baby before? He didn't wanna know. Only a view people in his life he had given real nicknames. Something he only used for this person and nobody else.
And Jethro certainly was somebody that special, actually He was more special then all of the others before. Jethro was his first love, his first real love. Not only the one you'll never forget, but the one you won't survive. Tony knew that he was a lucky person, even if he was afraid to admitt it. If you have luck there can be always be bad luck just around the corner, taking you what you have. But Tony knew if Jethro was taken from him he wouldn't survive. Someway or another he would die.
When you love somebody that strong that it hurt sometimes you should think that you'd came up with a nickname out of nothing. But all there was this annoying nothing. This fucking emptiness in his mind.
He knew exactly why he thought about that. He knew what made the difference between this night and all those nights he slept like a baby next to Jethro. They had fucked. Usually they made love but that night they had fucked. The case was hard for them both and they needed a way to get rid of those aggressions and their way was fucking like rabbits.
The last few weeks had been hard for both of them. First the under cover case going as wrong as it could, then Tony sitting in a cell framed for murder and now McGee had shot a man. Jethro had been pissed all day and Tony knew where that was leading. He didn't mind, he knew that Jethro would do the same for him, hell He had done it for him. Their idea of an understanding relationship wasn't that they sat down and talked about the other's problems, their idea was that the other would do what He would ask for that night. And since it was mutual and neither of them felt the need to change it, it was good.
It really was that way. It wasn't one of those situations you just tell yourself that it's good as it is and everybody outside sheaks their head. Tony was completely fine with it, well not completely. He was fine with the fucking thing. It was a good way to get rid of those aggressions, better than fighting. The thing he had problems with was that they went to sleep just like that. They wouldn't talk. Neither would say „I love you" nor „It's ok". Not even a „Good Night" would leave their lips. That's what Tony had issues with.
He knew that after the fuck Gibbs didn't sleep right away. He knew he was lying awake next to him trying not to think of the case and using the memories of their sex to erase the bad images in his head. Tony would never push him to talk. He knew very well how it felt and he didn't want to talk either. But he wanted to reassure Gibbs. To let Him know just how much he loved him and let him forget everything.
But there was something missing. That one word what would seal it. The one word the other would need to feel cured. The nickname. For many people a nickname was just something you say to the one you're with at that moment but for Tony it was so much more. It was like a magic word, the spell to take all the pain and tension from the other. The nickname was the spell and his voice was the wand, and only together they worked.
It has been the best year of Tony's life. He felt wanted, loved. He felt saved and alive. It seemed that Jethro had opened his eyes, no more than that. Jethro had took the hollow cover Anthony DiNozzo and put life into it. And when he left he would take it with him. Jethro was his life, his heart and soul. His breath.
He felt Jethro moving and before he knew it his mouth had opened and he spoke.
„Fiato?"
„Yes, Charm?"
Gibbs voice was soft but still Tony could sence the tension. For a second he wondered why he had reacted to the nickname but he didn't really care.
„I love you, Fiato."
Gibbs kissed the nape of Tony's neck.
„I love you, too, Charm."
For another second they lay silently.
„What does Fiato mean, Tony?"
„Breath, you're my breath, Jethro. But why Charm?"
„You enchanted me."
Tony turned and they kissed gently for the first time that night.
„Thanks, Charm, that was what I needed."
Jethro said and Tony kissed him again.
„Always, Fiato. Always."
Soon they fell asleep. Since that night if there was a hard case they wouldn't talk. They would enter the house and fuck. But after that Tony would say „I love you, Fiato.", Jethro would say „I love you, too, Charm." and they would fall into a restfull and refreshing sleep.
The nicknames made the difference.
Story Notes:
That fic came to my mind when I was looking for a nickname for Gibbs and Tony. I thought that maybe they think the same. As you can imagine I'll use those in other fics aswell, so if you like my fics in generell remember the nicks.
Feedback always welcome
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs and Tony lay in their bed. Two nights, two cases, one problem.
Chapter End Notes:
That fic came to my mind when I was looking for a nickname for Gibbs and Tony. I thought that maybe they think the same. As you can imagine I'll use those in other fics aswell, so if you like my fics in generell remember the nicks.
Feedback always welcome
Feedback always welcome