The first time they had sex he had not been controlling, yet had been particular about certain things. He had kissed her all over, always saying that she could do it after, and when it was her turn she wanted to do exactly the same thing as he had done to her. Yet when she had reached his arms he had pulled away, shaking his head, not offering an explanation. She had looked at him puzzled, but he had stood by his reluctance to show his arms so she decided to investigate later. She continued down his body, and the rest of the night had gone smoothly.
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Tim lay asleep next to her, silently snoring if there was such a thing, flat on his back. Abby lay curled to his side, eyes open, thinking. She was still curious about Tim's arms. Why didn't he want her to see them? She knew he didn't think that he had the best body, but he made up for that with his mind and intellect. Glancing around the room she turned away and carefully put on one of Tim's bedside lamps, thankful it had not woken him. The lamp set a light, yellow glow around the room, enough to see by but not enough to blind. Turning back to the other person in the bed Abby slowly lifted his arms. There was nothing on his forearms.
‘maybe he has a tattoo or freakish birthmark' she mused, turning his arm to see the inside of it she gasped.
From the average distance they wood have been unnoticeable. But she was up close and could see them. Thin, faint, white lines, weaving their way up and down Tim's inner forearms. The jagged pattern made its way from the bottom of his wrist to just below his elbow on his right arm. Quickly checking his left Abby didn't know whether to be pleased to find nothing there. Laying back down, she turned off the light and stared at the ceiling.
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She always thought she would have been the fragile one in the relationship, the one with the skeletons, with the past. But now, lying next to Tim she thought back to what he had said and what had been said at work.
"McGee, can't you tell when someone's kidding with you?"
"Abby says jump and he says how high"
"I thought I was joining an Agency, not re-living Junior High"
"Do you think anyone's gonna believe that you slept with Kate?"
"Looks like you and I were the only ones flying solo last night, McGee"
"What did McGee do now?"
"Anyone invite you into this conversation probie?"
"I'd rather be homeless than be you, probie"
"It's the same person who told me Probie wasn't potty trained til he was 6"
"Our little boy's growing up"
"I look like a circus freak"
"Answer the man, Probie"
"Watch as the McGee moves slowly from the watering hole, trailed by hyenas."
"This place needs a lot of help McGee."
"McGee's annoying me again"
"meant the part about you having a girlfriend"
"Just admiring your feminine glow"
"McGee, you're trying too hard."
"That's weird 'cuz it never had that effect on McGee"
"I'm not like you guys. You were trained as a cop, Gibbs was a Marine sniper, Kate protected the President of the United States. (pause) God only knows what Ziva did in Mossad"
"Tim! Tim wake up!" Abby suddenly felt the need to tell him it would be okay.
"Wha-? Abby, what's happening?" he asked groggily, slowly sitting up.
"Ignore them. They don't mean it. I don't mean it." she pleaded. Tim looked at her like she had gone crazy, and maybe she had, but she needed to tell him.
"What are you talking about Abby?" he asked her puzzled, his brain slowly beginning to process his surroundings.
"Your arms they didn't-"
"Why were you looking at my arms?" Tim quickly cut her off, visibly pulling himself back, folding his arms into his body.
"I-I was just curious as to why you didn't want me looking at them. And you were asleep, and-" Abby sighed, seeing Tim retreat further into his mind. "Talk to me Timmy." she pleaded.
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"It's not from now, it's from before." he eventually sighed after a while.
"Before?" Abby asked puzzled.
"School."
Slowly lifting his eyes to see how she had reacted he was met with concerned yet puzzled eyes. Realising he would have to expand, he turned onto his back, starring at the ceiling.
"At school, I was the person Kate didn‘t know existed, the person Ziva would have practised her ‘Technique' with, the person Tony would have bashed up, made fun of, made them to their homework, and you," Tim sighed and closed his eyes, "you were the person that would have been my friend, but talked behind my back."
"Tim." Abby didn't know what to say. Se would never have done those tings. No one on their team would of, surely.
"No Abby." he quickly turned to look at her. "Do you know what I thought of everyday when I was growing up? That you a bad person if you can't play sport and a good person if you are. That you're a bad person if you are a smart person, and a good person if you are not. I could see that everyday."
Abby could see the pain in his eyes, how much he must have suffered. Gently she picked up his arms and slowly traced the lines.
"It's going to be okay, you know."
Looking into her eyes Tim knew she was telling the truth, knew that she would stand up for him.
"I know that now, I didn't then." he sighed, pulling her to him.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Abby finds something about Tim's past and wants to know why. It hope the story is better than the summary...