I Blame You
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Her blood was still sprayed over his face and clothes. He didn't have the energy to go home and wash it off. He could feel it in his mouth, the coppery taste starting to make him feel sick. They say you never really now how much you love something until it's gone. There was a certain hollowness and emptiness inside of him that couldn't be filled with any food or drink. His body felt cold and limp. He spat into his bin, trying to remove as much of her blood from his mouth as possible, a sudden movement from in the shadows made him jump.
"Go home Tony, get some sleep." Said a gruff voice from in the corner, it belonged to a very angry, and upset Jethro Gibbs.
"Can't."
Was the only word that could escape his lips. He stared longingly where she once sat, laughed, joked about how he never did his work. It only seemed like yesterday, the first day they met. He didn't really think she liked him. But they turned out to be good friends. But Tony thought of her as more of a friend, and thanks to some, terrorist, she would never know.
"Why did she die Gibbs?"
Gibbs was silent.
"Abby has something for you Tony…" He continued with his work, not breathing another word to him.
Tony limped down to the Lab. He didn't want anything except Kate.
"Gibbs say's you have something for me Abby." He sighed, trying not to let the stinging tears escape from his already burning eyes.
Abby said nothing; she passed him a piece of paper, gave him a hug and left with her coat and bag. It was a letter, reading Tony on the front.
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Dear Tony.
I had a bad feeling about this op from the start, and I guess I was right. But this is no time to be going on about me. I take it I'm dead or seriously injured now so I'll get to the point. Do you remember the first day we met? I do as if it was yesterday, you know… I did like you. I didn't think you were just some jerk. You were funny, sweet, kind, caring. Not like the other guys. And as we grew close, I hated myself for not telling you, and now this is the only chance I have left. Since that very first day Tony, I have loved you. I always will love you, and will never stop loving you. Please keep me in your heart until the day you die. Carry on thinking about me, and I just hope you feel the same way as I have felt about you the whole time I have known you.
Always loving you Tony, remember that, never forget.
Kate xx
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He sat on the chair, reading the letter over and over, as if it would bring her back. "I'll never forget you Kate." He whispered.
All that was left of her now was a piece of paper, with tear smudged ink letters. Tony's sadness turned to hate, towards Gibbs. He could blame Gibbs. It was his fault. She just got caught in the middle between his grudge and Ari's hate towards each other.
"We need to talk Gibbs." He said, hand resting on his gun. Still feeling icy cold inside, like he was metal.
"Sure, Tony." He said his eyes also red and inflamed.
"It's your fault Gibbs, She just got caught in the middle of your and Ari's hate for each other, didn't she." He said, tears rolling down his cheeks, one after the other.
"Tony, the only one whose fault it is, is Ari's, that scumbag shot her not me." He said rising from his chair.
Tony lifted the gun out of his holster and held it single handed up to Gibbs' forehead.
"It's your fault she's dead Gibbs. He was torturing YOU by killing Kate." He said, shaking with fear tears rolling down his already tear stained cheeks.
"Tony put the gun down." Gibbs said, this was the first time that Tony had seen him look worried like this. "Please Tony."
Tony pulled the gun to his own forehead, two thumbs on the trigger, the exact same place Kate had been shot.
"Tell Abby, She was my best friend. And just remember Gibbs. It was both your fault." And w
Story Notes:
Aww, I got this idea listening to music in my bed last night. So i thought i'd write a quick version. Thanks Nikki hun, you got me writing these.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony is finding someone to blame on after Kate's death ...
Chapter End Notes:
Aww, I got this idea listening to music in my bed last night. So i thought i'd write a quick version. Thanks Nikki hun, you got me writing these.