"Kate!" Tony practically yelled as he woke up.
"Easy, easy. It's okay" Gibbs soothed him.
"B-Boss?" Tony panted "What are you…"
"Just checking up on you for the night" his boss said "What was it about?"
Tony did his best to catch his breath.
"N-Nothing" he lied, avoiding Gibbs' gaze. But his boss knew better. He grabbed Tony's chin and lifted it up softly so he could force Tony to look at him.
"What was it about?"
Tony sighed. He hesitated to tell him but on the other hand, he knew talking was a good thing to do.
"Kate"
"You dreamt about Kate?" Gibbs asked only getting a slight nod as an answer "You loved her, didn't you?"
Tony looked taken aback by this statement. It was the first time Gibbs was talking about love.
"What… How…" he stammered.
"There was no need to be a psychic to figure it out" Gibbs smiled.
"Didn't think it was that obvious"
Gibbs chuckled.
"Love starts with a fight" he said. But Tony didn't laugh, he didn't even smile.
"Guess so" he said sombrely. Gibbs' smile faded. His eyes widened in surprise.
"You still love her" There was no response "You're still in love with her"
A tear ran down Tony's cheek as he started panting again.
"I-I… need to…" he managed, breathing heavily.
"What?" Gibbs asked, alarmed by this sudden reaction.
"G-get out… I need… fresh air" Tony said, almost pleading.
Gibbs frowned. ‘Of course he does, he's been locked in for four days' he thought.
"Tony, you can't walk. You can't even get out of your bed!" he tried to reason him.
"I can if you help me" Tony said.
"It's the middle of the night"
"I don't care"
Gibbs didn't know what to do. He wanted to help his agent, but he didn't want to risk something he'll regret later.
"Please" Tony said with tears in his eyes.
"Come on" Gibbs said after a pause "Lean on me"
The way down was difficult and Tony stumbled a couple of time, but he was determined to carry on.
When they finally got out, Tony took a deep breath before letting out a sigh of relief. They went to sit on a nearby bench and they sat on a comfortable silence for a while.
"So, you wanna talk about it or not?" Gibbs finally asked.
"About what?"
"About her" Gibbs said, giving his agent a knowing look "Kate"
"Not really"
Gibbs sighed.
"You know, one day you're gonna have to forget. She's gone, you're not"
Somehow hurt, Tony gave him a sharp look.
"This from a man who carries a flask with his wife and daughter's names on it"
Gibbs looked as if Tony had just slapped him.
"How do you know?"
"I saw you"
Gibbs just looked away and the silence fell again.
"I'm sorry" Tony finally spoke "I shouldn't have said that"
"It's okay"
"No it's not" the young man replied "I always spoil everything"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you were trying to be nice with me, to help me, and what do I do? I spoil it by telling you something awful" he sighed "It's always been like that anyway" he added, more to himself than to Gibbs.
"What are you talking about?" Gibbs insisted.
"Everything good that happens to me, everything positive, I always screw it up. We talked about Kate, right? Well that's a good example"
"How so?"
"As you said… I loved her. And I never told her. All I did was messing with her, taunting her, making her life a hell… If only I'd told her…"
"It wouldn't have changed anything" Gibbs interrupted him.
"She hated me"
"No she didn't. She told you, didn't she?"
"What the hell are you talking about? Told me what?"
"You said it in your sleep. You said ‘I love you too' It's quite easy to guess what she'd told you"
"It was just a dream"
"I don't think so. And neither do you"
Tony looked away, more tears coming to his eyes.
"I wanted her to come back with me. She said she couldn't"
"I know"
That's when Tony DiNozzo finally broke down. He started crying, hot tears running down his face as if it was never going to stop. At first Gibbs just sat there, not knowing what to do to make him feel better. Then it came to him and he put his arm around his shoulder, careful not to hut his wounded arm any more.
"I miss her" Tony said between his sobs "I want her back"
"I know"
"Why did she have to go?"
"Because life's a bitch"
Tony gave a small chuckle. He looked up to meet his boss' gaze.
"Sorry about that"
"About what?"
"Crying like a little kid. That's a sign of weakness, right?"
"No, Tony" Gibbs said, smiling softly "That only proves you've got a heart"
Tony smiled back.
"Thanks. For that and for the rest"
"What rest?"
"Always being there to help me"
"That's because I know you'll always be there to help me too"
Tony's smile grew wider.
"So you like me?" he teased but his eyes remained wet.
"Come on, you really thought I didn't?"
"Hard not to"
"Tony, you're a good agent, and a great man. Even thought I can't approve everything about you" both men chuckled "You're someone I cant' count on. And that's enough for me"
"Thanks" Tony said again as he wiped away his tears "I should have got that on tape" he added, chuckling.
"Yeah, that's not something I'm gonna say often" Gibbs laughed.
"So you feeling better?" the older agent asked after a couple of silent minutes.
"Yeah"
"Ready to get in your bed again?"
"At least, I'm tired enough to"
Gibbs smiled.
"Then let's go back in" he said as he stood up.
Back in the room, Gibbs helped Tony to get in his bed and sat back on the chair next to the bed.
"You're gonna stay?" Tony asked.
"Yeah, is it a problem?"
"No. Hey Gibbs?"
"Yeah?"
"You really meant that?" Tony asked, referring to their previous conversation.
"Of course I did. Why?"
The only answer he got was smile playing on Tony's lips. Gibbs chuckled.
"Now go to sleep, bonehead"
"Yes, sir"
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony wakes up from his dream and feels lost
Chapter End Notes:
A little more of Gibbs/DiNozzo friendship. Not slash! ^^
Enjoy!
Enjoy!