His laughter rings out in the bedroom at a joke she's just told him and that isn't really funny. A thought crosses her mind that she's never heard a cuter sound before and she freezes. It always feels strange to associate a word like 'cute' with this man.
She remembers the first time she called him 'honey', it slipped from her mouth one evening as she was cooking their dinner while he was sitting at her kitchen table, reading the newspaper he had bought in the airport. The scene was so domestic and comfortable and the word was out of her mouth before she could stop it. She remembers perfectly how she slowly turned toward him, expecting a glare and only met two raised eyebrows and a pair of amused eyes.
Later, that same night, he laughed at her for the scary look she'd had on her face and as a punishment for his smug streak, she showed him various forms of torture Mossad never took time to teach him.
She looks outside. Through the window, the beautiful italian sun illuminates the little country inn's yard. She feels him starting to plant soft, lazy kisses on her bare neck, his hands teasingly caressing her stomach as she leans back against him, her head falling on his strong shoulder, her fingers reaching back to stroke his stubble-covered cheek affectionately. She starts moaning his name as his tongue finds the spot, he has long claimed as his, behind her ear and the needy sound makes him stop.
A grunt escapes Kate's lips at the loss, one of his hand leaves the soft skin of her thigh to settle itself under her chin and make her look at him.
«What ?»
He smiles enigmatically at her and they are so close to each other that when his answer comes her tongue can almost taste his words.
«Happy birthday Caitlin.» And she smiles brightly. And he takes possession of her lips, hungrily. And she melts in his arms once again.
«Kate... Kate...»
She knows that voice. It's not Ari's. She's Caitlin for Ari, not Kate. It's not Ari's voice.
«Kate»
She slowly drifts away from her daydream and the familiar pain she feels right now is one she hasn't allowed herself to feel for a long time. Not Ari's voice. Never Ari's voice again.
Months ago she was waiting for him, she was lusting for him but instead of his warm presence, instead of his hard body pressed against hers, instead of his male scent filling her nose, instead of his hands running down her body, instead of him making her laugh, making her frown, making her feel, making her love, she received a letter.
He sweared his adoration and love for her until the day of his death, he promised to always keep the good memories in his mind, he threatened his own body with unpleasant things if he was ever to forget her and then he said goodbye for good. For her own sake. For her safety.
«Kate !»
The blur of her mind slowly dissipates and the voice which is usually sharp and commanding reveals a hint of concern that makes her turn toward the man beside her. The gaze she meets is gentle and questioning.
«Yeah... Gibbs ?»
«You're still with me ?» The smiles she gives him as an answer is small but sincere.
She has dreaded this day for six months now, because the last birthday she celebrated she spent it in Italy with Ari, and she was happy, and she doesn't know how to react to the fact that Europe is, for a long time now, out of her reach and so is her lover.
Everyone looked at her like she had lost her mind when she vounteered for the stake-out tonight. But because Gibbs has been the one finding her shattered and crying one late night, in the office. And because he still doesn't really know what had caused this kind of reaction to Kate Todd but because sometimes he's got this fabulous ability of understanding without knowing, he has just let her come without questioning.
She raises her head to truly meet Gibbs' gaze and nods to his earlier question. She finds in his eyes a glint that she became more and more familiar with these past few months but that she's still unable to really understand.
«What ?»
He leans his face closer to hers and she catches her breath, her heart missing a beat like it hasn't done for way too long. With his hand, he brushes her hair away from her face and brings his mouth close to her ear, his hot breath against her skin.
«Happy birthday, Kate.» He whispered before planting a tentative kiss on her cheek.
His lips lingers longer than necessary and when he finally removes them, his mouth is replaced with his thumb stroking in slow motions the smooth skin of her face. She leans almost unconsciously against his soft touch and smiles at him under heavy lashes.
Gibbs is hardly the romantic Ari was with her, he would probably never take her away for a romantic trip or send her flowers for no other reason than to remind her that she is beautiful and that he misses her. But for the first time since too long, she has her mind open to... possibilities.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Not Ari's voice. Never Ari's voice again.