Gibbs raised his eyebrows in shock, "What?! What the hell are you… ?! How did…?!"
Abby growled, asking "How do you think? Tony asked me to trace his stalker next time ‘Jarhead426' came online. What the hell were you doing? What's going on?"
"Shit!" Gibbs exclaimed, turning away
"Yeah, that's right, shit," Abby responded, "Now, are you going to explain yourself?"
Gibbs turned back to Abby, "Who else knows?"
"What?!" Abby exclaimed, "Why? Are you trying to cover up your actions already?"
Gibbs scrubbed his hands over his face, then looked hard at Abby, "Look, Abby, I'm not proud of what I did, but I can explain,"
"I'm waiting," Abby replied coldly
Gibbs sighed, looking to the ceiling for support, "I never intended for any of this to happen," he started, looking back at Abby, "One night I went on the internet to see what all the fuss was about. After a while I started looking for people I know. I found your user address after a while and found Tony's name. I just … "
Gibbs paused and looked at a point over Abby's shoulder, "The team only sees me in one light, they think of me as a stubborn bastard of an ex-marine who is always pushing them, sometimes too far…" Gibbs sighed, thinking that this shouldn't be this hard
"I wanted to see how Tony would see me if we didn't work together… We got talking, and after a while I realised that I didn't want him to know who I was…it was just…we were talking as though we were friends," Gibbs looked back at Abby, wondering if he was making any sense
"And I was really enjoying being friends with him. Then after a while, he …" Gibbs stopped short, trying to decide what to say, "Um…he made it impossible – well not impossible, but just… a really bad idea for me to identify myself. He told me stuff that I don't think he would ever tell me, not willingly anyway –"
"He told you that he loved you," Abby interrupted, clarifying for Gibbs that she already knew about Tony's infatuation with Gibbs
"Yeah," Gibbs confirmed with a sigh, "And then I just kept digging the hole deeper. And… after a … that is to say…" Gibbs stopped to gather his thoughts, "Then I slipped up, I called him ‘Tony' and he'd never told me his name. Then I tried making an excuse to get myself out of it, but… now he thinks he has a stalker,"
"Gibbs, you shoulda just told him!" Abby exclaimed
"And say what?" Gibbs asked, "Oh, by the way, you know how you've been bitching about your boss, and declared you're love for him…well guess what?..."
"It's better than making him think he has a stalker!" Abby replied
"He would have quit!" Gibbs half-shouted
"Isn't that what you want?" Abby threw back at him
"What?!" Gibbs shouted, "What the hell made you think that?!"
"Well the way you treat him would be a good place to start," Abby replied, "You have no regard for how he feels – at all. Did you know that the day he saved Atlas and survived in the sewers, he almost quit? Your quip about McGee sitting at his desk almost had Tony leaving. He works long and hard and waits so long for you to give him a complement, and then you just throw it back in his face. He feels worthless and he's had enough,"
"What do you mean, he's had enough?" Gibbs asked, narrowing his eyes at Abby
"I mean, if you don't act fast, he's gonna be out of here. By the end of next month, he'll be working for Fornell – he didn't want to leave DC," Abby responded, "Happy now?"
Gibbs opened his mouth, then closed it again. He sighed and shrugged, responding quietly, "I had no idea,"
"Well you do now, just what are you going to do about it?" Abby asked coolly
"Christ Abby, I don't know," Gibbs replied, going to sit on one of Abby's stools in front of her computer, "I don't want him to leave,"
Abby scoffed, "And I'll ask you again, what are you going to do about it?"
"Ease up, Abs," Gibbs responded, rubbing his head, "How much has Tony told you about our conversations?"
"Just about everything," Abby replied
Gibbs sighed, "I, uh, think I've figured out why I wanted ‘ToyBoy' to tell his boss about how he feels,"
Abby waited in silence for Gibbs to continue, after the silence dragged out, Abby asked, "Okay, why? Because you wanted him to feel more pain when you reject him?"
"No," Gibbs looked up at Abby, shaking his head, "I think I love him. I was thinking about this earlier and I think a lot of the reason I didn't want to tell him who I was, was because I love him"
Gibbs smirked, "Why did I ask him to ask me about staying with me whilst his apartment is being renovated? Hell, I even told him that staying at my place may have some benefits… I don't think I would have said something like that unless I was prepared to do something about it,"
Gibbs sighed and looked at Abby, suddenly embarrassed for saying so much, "And ah, that's my little confession,"
"Gibbs, I thought you were straight," Abby eventually said, surprised that she hadn't known that he'd swung both ways before
"I am … I mean, I was," Gibbs replied with a frown, "Apparently I'm not anymore," Gibbs paused, his frown getting deeper, "Ah, Abs?"
Abby looked at Gibbs, watching as he appeared to get more embarrassed than he was before, "Yeah?"
"Um, it's not abnormal to ah, change your sexual preference at my age, is it?" Gibbs asked, "I mean, I could always tell a good looking guy from an ugly or normal looking guy, but I was never really attracted to any of them. But I guess… I don't know, I think there was always something different about Tony,"
"He's one of a kind," Abby responded
Gibbs looked off into the distance, "I remember when we first met, he was undercover, posing as a drugs dealer and … " Gibbs stopped talking and looked to the doors of the lab as the swished open
"Ah, boss," a surprised looking McGee greeted as he entered the lab, "I couldn't reach you on your cell. The car dealership was a bit dodgy, so I watched it for a while, I think they may be dealing drugs from there,"
Gibbs got off the stool, "Okay, let's go. Where are Tony and Kate?"
"They're gonna meet us there," McGee replied
Abby grabbed Gibbs' arm, shooing McGee off with her free hand, "We'll finish this later," she said softly
Gibbs nodded, then a slightly panicked expression crossed his face, "Are you gonna tell anyone?"
"That you're the stalker?" Abby asked to clarify
Gibbs nodded again. Abby studied his face for a while, "It's our little secret, only if you promise to tell Tony,"
"It'll get worse, he'll hate me…and he'll leave," Gibbs told her
"Well, you should've thought of that before," Abby replied
"What?!" Gibbs hissed, "Abby, you can't … he will leave. He won't only leave me. He'll leave this whole place, including you"
"I told you he's not leaving DC, so I'll still see him, it's up to you to – " Abby responded
"Abby, you can't make me do this," Gibbs half pleaded
"It'll only get worse if you leave it, then it'll explode in your face. It will come out eventually, whether you plan for it or not," Abby told him, releasing his arm, "Now go, you have criminals to lock up,"
Author's Chapter Notes:
Gibbs explains himself to Abby
Chapter End Notes:
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Here's my next installment, hope you like it! Please send me feedback, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy
Here's my next installment, hope you like it! Please send me feedback, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy