Unfortunately, even a librarian knew enough not to just hand out information about employees to random customers. It took a little fast talking and a flash of his badge before she even began to look less hostile.
"I'm sorry, Agent DiNozzo, but Emily stopped working here over ten months ago."
Of course she had.
"I don't suppose you could give me her address?" At her hesitation, Tony scrambled for some of the charm that had played a part in getting him into this mess. "It really is urgent that we find her as soon as possible."
After one more moment's hesitation, the librarian caved, copying an address from the computer down onto an index card. "This is the last known address we have for her. However, I should warn you that she came in to pick up her last few checks in person, so I don't know if it's still valid."
Never a good sign. "I don't suppose she was good friends with anyone who works here still? Someone who might know for certain how to contact her?"
At this, the librarian paused. "Well, she didn't really socialize a lot – always studying those science books, you know. But I seem to remember that she and Jamie Mann were always chatting up a storm."
Finally, a break. "Is she here today? Can I talk to her?"
The librarian smiled. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid she went to visit her parents in Iowa. Won't be back for another two days."
Tony sighed. "Of course not." Shaking it off, he smiled. "Thank you so much for your help, ma'am."
The address she had given them was all the way across town and of course when they arrived there some time later, the only thing her previous landlord could tell them was that Emily had moved out about nine months ago, leaving no forwarding address. They did, however, finally get a last name.
Although Tony highly doubted that tracking down one of Washington D.C.'s numerous Emily Johnsons was going to be any easier than looking blindly for a plain Emily.
As they headed back to the car, McGee unhelpfully said, "Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something."
"Don't date girls with generic last names?"
"Tony. I meant about the baby."
He knew. Playing dumb was just more appealing than having this conversation. "Just brainstorm, Probie. How do we find a girl who seems to have gone out of her way to disappear?"
--
Back at the office, McGee soon used his computer wizardry to discover that Emily may have moved out of her old apartment, but it was still the address on her driver's license. And her voter's registration. And, after an hour or so of hacking, at her bank.
"I honestly don't know what else to check, Boss," McGee said helplessly to Gibbs' scowling features. "I think our only option might be to wait until her friend gets back from vacation."
To Tony, who had been up since three and felt like he'd never be quite normal again, another two days sounded like a lifetime. "There's nothing else we can do?" he asked, unable to keep a hint of desperation out of his voice.
McGee shrugged. "Unless you have any brilliant ideas…."
Tony was too damn tired for ideas of any kind, let alone brilliant ones. "Right." Glancing at the clock, Tony realized that the decidedly unproductive day had flown by. "Well then Boss, can I leave? I need to go pick the kid up from Ducky and get her home."
"Yeah, go on," Gibbs agreed.
When he arrived in Autopsy, he was pleasantly surprised to find a decided lack of disturbance. "Everything go okay?" he asked as he walked over to the baby and let her grab his finger as she was prone to doing.
"Quite well, Tony! She has been quite good company, actually. I believe that she enjoys the sound of my voice," Ducky said, sounding almost like a bragging grandfather.
"Well, I've always found it soothing, Doctor!" chirped Jimmy.
That made Tony pause, seeing as it was just a little disturbing. "Right. Well, thanks for watching her."
"Of course, of course. You know, when Abigail was visiting earlier, we realized that you still have neglected to name her."
"I haven't neglected it, Duck. I just haven't done it."
"May I inquire as to why?"
After a long pause, Tony shrugged. "I suppose she already has a name. Just because Emily forgot to write it down, doesn't mean I should go renaming her. It would just be confusing when I give her back."
It was complete bullshit, and judging from Ducky's neutral "Ah," he knew it. "You're off, then?"
Slinging the diaper bag over his shoulder and easily managing the weight of the car seat, Tony said, "Yeah. We're off."
--
Tony still had to stop the car once on the way home to fish the rattle out from under the seat.
He avoided spilling formula everywhere (thank God, as everything still had a layer of white dust from the day before), but he still assembled the bottle wrong.
Because the tie incident had been hard to forget, he burped her immediately and thoroughly.
Then, because he was exhausted and hadn't showered in entirely too long, Tony decided to take a cue from the inexcusable chick flick genre (what exactly had possessed Tom Sellick, he would never know) and shower. He just…took the baby with him. Sure, the water had to be lukewarm and he was sort of paranoid about dropping her, but at the end they were both cleaner and happier and smelling much better.
He dressed her in a diaper and a disturbingly cute little T-shirt that read "Made in the USA" and they played. And at some point, he dozed off in front of the TV, John Wayne onscreen and a happily snoozing baby on his stomach.
She still woke up at exactly three a.m.
This time, however, he just went through all the usual motions, finally walking her back and forth across the living room until she calmed down.
Yes, it took an hour and a half.
But eventually, it happened.
--
The next morning, Tony felt…better. Not great, because he still lacked sleep and not even normal because nothing about this was normal. But less inclined to jump off the top of tall buildings, anyway. He was even cheery enough to sort of enjoy sneaking the baby into NCIS so that the Director wouldn't find out.
"Thanks again for doing this, Abby," Tony said as he settled the car seat on Abby's working table.
"Are you kidding? I'm just relieved to not have to come up with excuses to go down to Autopsy and visit her," Abby retorted while stroking a finger down the baby's cheek. "I'll bet Ducky's jealous that I get her today, though."
"He's still sulking," Tony admitted with a smile. "Okay, there should be plenty of bottles in the bag, if not I think I stuck an extra bottle in the top drawer of my desk."
Abby gasped. "In Playboy's honored spot?"
Tony grimaced. "Right on top of it, actually." Never mind that the formula would probably leak all over it.
For some reason, this caused Abby's grin to spread, now so wide that it prompted Tony to ask, "What?"
She shook her head. "Nothing. Go on. Solve the case of the missing mother."
Tony nodded, glancing at the baby one last time before heading out. He had completely exited the room when he felt compelled to pop his head back in. "And Abby?"
"Yeah?"
"No tattoos."
Her face fell rather comically. "But I got cute little temporary ones! Of flowers and butterflies and, okay, a dagger, but…."
"No. Tattoos," Tony reiterated before leaving, heading back up to his desk where he was absolutely going to be late.
Sure enough, when he arrived, everyone was already gathering their stuff in a dash for the elevator.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs said by way of greeting. "That kid better be taken care of, because we're leaving." McGee had stayed late last night and turned up a possible lead – an Emily Johnson had rented an apartment nine months ago in a building that kept strictly electronic (and conveniently public) records.
"Yeah, Boss, she's with Abby."
From across the bullpen where Ziva was gathering her things, there emerged a puzzled noise. "I thought you had been depending on Ducky to relish the wonderful joys of baby-sitting."
"I was! But then I started worrying, y'know, because she's just a baby and I'm not sure that spending all that time with...well, dead people can really be good for her psyche long term. Plus, she was starting to smell like that industrial strength cleaner Ducky uses after the autopsies."
As they filed into the elevator, McGee frowned. "Okay...but how is spending large amounts of time with Abby going to better any better for her psyche?"
"Oh, it's not – I've accepted that that's a lost cause. But at least this way, she retains that new baby smell."
Gibbs, who seemed to be trying very hard not to laugh, pushed the elevator button instead. "Your daughter is not a car, DiNozzo."
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.