I knew it. I shouldn't have come to work today. I thought everything was gonna be okay, but I was wrong.
When I arrived and sat at my desk, I noticed Tony wasn't there. So? It isn't the first time he's late. I'd started to talk with McGee about a new software of his (didn't understand a thing but I decided not to let him know) when Tony came in. At that point, I knew I couldn't cheat.
He flashed me this grin that makes him so irresistible and said a cheerful "Hi Kate!" Well at least one of us was able to pretend that we never had last night's conversation. I smiled nervously and nodded.
I've spent the whole morning glancing at him, just in case he tried to talk to me. But every time he looked up and met my eyes, I looked down. I felt like I was gonna go crazy. I wanted to talk with him, but I couldn't even bring myself to look at him.
"Kate, DiNozzo, you get this to Abby I think she might need it" Gibbs said as he handed me a Caff-Pow.
"D-Don't you think only one of us would be enough?" I stammered.
"Maybe she needs some help with her work down there"
Gibbs looked me in the eyes and I understood. He knew what he was doing. Someday I really should investigate this guy.
Tony just nodded and went to the elevator.
We spent a quiet way down. Far too quiet, if you ask me. He wasn't even looking at me, but I could have sworn he was as nervous as I was.
After a while, it was more than I could bear. I pressed the emergency button and the elevator stopped.
"What are you doing?" he said, confused.
"Spill it"
"Spill what?"
I closed my eyes for a second as I sighed heavily. Come on Kate, you started it. It's too late to go backwards I thought.
"What did you mean last night?" I swear I saw him wince as I said it.
"You remember last night?"
"As I said, I wasn't that drunk"
He looked away and sighed. I wanted to scream at him, to push the button and get the hell out of there. Instead I kept staring at him, waiting for an answer.
"What do you wanna know?" he asked softly.
"What do I wanna know? I wanna know why you said you didn't deserve to be loved"
"Because it's true"
"What makes you say that?"
He turned and his eyes met mine. He looked so sad, so hurt, I didn't know if I would be able to carry on.
"Why do you think I date girls only for a week? Why do you think I drop them before one of us falls in love? Why do you think I never tried to have a date with you?"
I felt like he'd slapped me in the face. I wanted to talk, to ask him why, but he talked before I was even able to make up a correct sentence.
"I don't deserve a true love, for I'd spoil it. I spoil everything, Kate. That's why. And I don't wanna hurt you"
I can't take my eyes off of him. I'm completely stunned by his last words. He hits the emergency button and the elevator starts going down again.
I can feel the tears coming to my eyes.
"Tony?" I whisper suddenly.
"What?" he asks sadly as he turned to me.
I don't even hesitate, I cup his face in my hands and kiss him. And somehow I feel him kiss me back. Now the tears are running down my cheeks, but I don't care. I want this moment to last, I want him to stay with me.
Only he doesn't want to.
He steps back and the magic stops. I look at him, my eyes pleading for him to stay.
"I'm sorry" he whispers as the elevator doors open. He walks away and I stay here, like in shock.
I was finally able to walk out this damn elevator and go into Abby's lab.
"Hi Kate!" Abby yelled happily as she saw me.
I looked at her and she frowned as she saw the look on my face.
"Kate, what's wrong?"
I don't need to answer. She hugged me and I started sobbing in her arms.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Kate wants to know what Tony meant
Chapter End Notes:
Yeah I know, another sad chapter. But hey, I never said it would be funny!