I can’t believe I said what I said. Anthony, you are a fool. Did you really think you could tell her and get away like that? Of course you can’t, it’s Kate! She’s not like the other silly girls you date. She’ll ask you more. She’ll want to understand.
I’m so mad at myself that I hit the wall all of a sudden and, as much as I don’t want to admit it, it hurts.
“I don’t think that poor wall did anything to deserve that, my dear boy” a familiar voice says from behind me. Funny, it even makes me smile.
“Sorry. Just needed something to punch”
“And why is that?” Ducky asks quietly.
“Let’s just say I’m in a difficult situation”
“With a lady?”
I turn around to meet his gaze, unable to hide my surprised look.
“How do you know?”
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’”
“No, it’s just… I…never mind” I finally sigh, which makes him chuckle.
“Anthony, I know you” he starts then stops abruptly as he saw me wince “I’m sorry. Tony, I know you. If ever there’s something that can cause you troubles – besides our cases of course -, it’s the ladies”
I shrug. “Guess you’re right”
“Of course I am” he chuckles again “Now tell me what’s wrong”
I hesitate. I’m not sure if I should tell him about it. Then again, it’s a safer choice than to tell Gibbs. And he’s not supposed to know I’m talking about Kate anyway.
“There’s this girl that… well, she said she loved me”
“I don’t see anything wrong in that”
“Yeah well, there are things she doesn’t know about me. And I’d love to keep it that way”
“You need to trust the person you love if you want to love her the right way”
“Who said I love her?”
“You don’t love her?”
I open my mouth but only to shut it without saying a word. I should really try to learn how Gibbs and Ducky manage to make people confess things without realizing it.
I look around like I’m searching for an exit door, but there isn’t any. Ducky, however, seems to notice my embarrassment and he puts a hand on my shoulder, while looking soothingly in my eyes.
“Why don’t you want to tell her who you truly are?”
“Because she wouldn’t understand”
“What makes you say that?”
“Nobody would understand that”
“I did”
“It’s not the same”
“Isn’t it?”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath for a second. I want to scream and run out of here, but a little voice in the back of my head tells me it’s too late for that.
“Now let’s see it differently. What does your childhood have to do with her?”
“I-I kinda told her that I’d waste it all”
“What?”
“Our love, our relationship”
“Why did you say that?”
I find myself laughing nervously. I start to feel like I’m soon gonna have to deal with a hell of a headache but suddenly I realize that I don’t even care. Right now I need someone to talk to.
“I don’t know why. But I said it. And now she’ll want to know what that meant”
“Maybe you should tell her”
“I can’t do that!” I practically yelled.
“Why not?”
“I told you, she wouldn’t understand”
“I really think Kate’s smart enough to understand”
Okay, it’s official, Ducky’s freaking me out. My eyes widened in shock as he pronounced her name.
“How… H-how do you…” I stammer, sounding just like McGee when Gibbs is glaring at him.
“I didn’t know it, I just thought it could be her. And I guess I was right” he just says with a smile.
For some unknown reason, I feel like I’m mad at him.
“Are you here to make fun at me, Duck?” I growl at him.
“Calm down, I’m just trying to help you”
“Well, don’t. I’m doing just fine”
“You don’t even believe your own words”
It’s more than I can take. I brush past him and start to climb up the stairs. Just as I’m leaving, I can hear him say:
“One day you really should stop running away”
It takes me aback and I start to slow down, but the little voice tells me to get out of here. And even though I didn’t show it, I’m sure he knows I heard him.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony's POV. Ducky tries to help Tony
Chapter End Notes:
I just wanted to show how it's hard to handle for Tony too. Please, let me know what you thought of it!