Gibbs' POV
It was dark, and he didn't only mean the room. In this light he couldn't make out much more than shapes, his never-to-be-finished boat a prominent light form in the otherwise dark basement. It had been only two weeks since Dr. Stevenson's fatal diagnosis but yet he noticed his sight weakening. Sometimes he had trouble focusing on faces, sometimes colours were fading into a grey mass. He didn't drive more than necessary these days, at least not if somebody else was in the car. One the one hand he didn't want to endanger them, on the other hand they would notice that he didn't drive as fast and neckbreaking as he used to.
He found himself sitting in here without lights on every night in the last two weeks. Light only hurt his eyes by now and like this he sharpened his senses. Right now he heard footsteps in the hall above and given the volume he could guess it was Tony. They grew louder and he knew he was heading down here. Snapping the half empty cup of bourbon from two days ago and let it hang from two fingers. He fixed his gaze on the boat. He avoided eye contact with Tony because in the last years the younger man had learnt to read him. The door opened and the time Tony took to get down the stairs seemed like an eternity.
"What you want?"
He had to fight hard to get the words out as cold as he could once Tony stood next to him. The younger man didn't answer and Gibbs followed him out of the corner of his eyes as he sat on the workbench.
"What's going on, Jethro? You're mood in the past few days..."
"There's nothing wrong with *me*"
He sighed annoyed about himself. How low had he sunken to lie to his partner like that? He took a sip, remembering that the mug had stood in the dusty basement when it was too late.
"Jethro, please, I know you. You stormed into that school for less, and now? Nothing."
Demanding or pleading, Gibbs couldn't tell what it was but he knew he had to take his first strike.
"maybe it's a good idea. Let's face it, Tony, Dom's not a normal kid."
Score, Gibbs thought sourly as Tony stared at him in disbelief.
"I can't believe you said that. The last few days you've been a bigger bastard than I thought possible!"
Me, too, and it was hard work, Gibbs thought.
"Why are you making such a big thing out of it? You knew what you get yourself involved with!"
"Maybe I don't want our children to become like that!"
Tony yelled and slid off the workbench.
"It's not...wait..."
Did he say children?
"Did you say children? As in more than one?"
He watched as Tony stopped and turned slowly. This couldn't be, could it?
"Yeah, Jethro. I felt weird lately, and when I was craving for apples I went to my doc. I'm six weeks pregnant."
That was the moment, Gibbs thought. His heart imploded in his chest leaving nothing but emptyness. But it didn't change his mind, it only prooved that his decision was right. He put up his mask of anger.
"I thought we were playing it save."
Tony's expression was confused.
"What do you mean? We both thought I can't get pregnant again. We didn't use condoms, I wasn't taking the pill, that's not exactly the definition of pregnancy prevention."
Prepare for punch below the belt.
"So, you've been save with others?"
That had hit exacty where it was intented.
"Are you accusing me of cheating on you?"
Gibbs felt his internals clench at Tony's voice, low and full of tears. He knew perfectly well that Tony was absolutely not cheating on him. He wasn't even flirting anymore.
"You've been around Jason a lot lately. Weren't you two at the movies about six weeks ago?"
It hurt to say that. This whole situation hurt. He knew Jason was just a friend, actually Jason had tried to hit on him.
"Yeah, and when I came home *you* made love to me! And Jason's just a friend!"
"He's gay and we both know it wouldn't be the first time you betray your partner."
He was going to throw up.
"I *never* cheated on you. This is your child!"
Tony touched his belly and looked very much like seven years ago when he had been bashed by Steve.
"I don't want another child."
Killshot.
"You're...you're not asking me to..."
"Asking? No."
That was it. He had sold his soul to the devil right this moment. Tony turned and stormed up the stairs slamming the door shot. Gibbs ran after him.
"Tony, come back!"
Gibbs yelled but Tony didn't even turn on the stairs.
"No, Jethro! No way! I won't do that!"
"Then I have no choice."
He pressed out and pushed past a shocked Tony into the bedroom. He had planned this for days and he knew where the suitcase was. He also knew what cloths he would need the next few days.
"Jethro, no! Jethro, don't!"
As Tony reached for the suitcase Gibbs pushed him away and heard him crash into the dresser but he didn't turn. Sobbing reached his ears and he fought hard to keep cotnrol.
"What are you doing?"
Gibbs stopped, momentarily losing his self control.
"Leaving."
With that he walked out of the door. When he walked past Dom's room he saw light and sighed. He had to get out of here as fast as possible.Once at the car he made probably the biggest mistake he could do. He looked up and saw Dom at the window on the first floor. His little son waved sadly at him.
Gibbs got in the car and drove down the drive way. He couldn't stay any longer or he wouldn't leave. He could keep his mind blank until he was out of their block. He took a right turn into a small park that was by now completely deserted and dark. As he turned off the engine he let his mind work because he knew he had to.
Tony was pregnant. He just didn't only leave his partner and son, he left his pregnant partner and his son. How was Tony going to make it? Would it be a boy or a girl? Would he ever meet his children? At least his son, again? Is this really the only way?
His breathing started to go harder. No, he couldn't go back. This was the only way. Tony had enough to worry and care about, he didn't need a blind partner. He would only be a burder for the younger man. Tony still had most of his life in front of him and he would find somebody new, he would be happy again.
Would he ever going to be ok? Would he ever be able to cope with the pain of losing two families? Of hurting his family? Pictures of Kelly and Dom flashed in front of his eyes. Then a brand new little baby. His eyes started to burn and just a second later he clenched the steering wheel that hard that his knuckles turned white. But nothing he could do could hold back the tears. He cried out and started to cry hugging the wheel.
Author's Chapter Notes:
What he knows