"Lots of memories, huh?"
Gibbs barely nodded but it was true. He couldn't understand why she was living here. But then, he still lived in the same house he had lived with Shannon and Kelly so why shouldn't she live here? Nothing really looked like back then but still, the house alone was enough to recall the memories.
"I have a spare room, you can take it."
"Why are you doing this for me, Lil? We haven't talked in what? Thirty years?"
The red head shrugged as she placed a cup of coffee in front of Gibbs.
"I made mistakes, you made mistakes, but in the end you're still my brother."
Gibbs slowly shook his head.
"I can't understand you, really. You weren't at one of my weddings after Shannon. You never met..."
She put her hand on top of his.
"Why don't you tell me why you're really here?"
"I had to leave my family. My son, my partner...my unborn child..."
"You had...oh my god...what happened?"
"I have a decease. The nerve endings in my retina are slowly dying. There's an operation but the chances are small. Probability says I'm going to be blind within the next six months. I can't do that to Tony, to Dom..."
"You're with a man?"
"I was with a man. About seven years ago we had this...one night stand. Don't get me wrong...I loved him all along but he was engaged. Then he turned up being pregnant and told me it was from his fiancé. He was bashed and ran away...a year later I found him in New York and he confessed that Dom is in fact my son. When my doctor told me about my eyes I knew I couldn't do that to them. Dom's in a difficult stadium. His class mates are mocking him cause he has two fathers. And soon Tony will have a baby and...I can't put that burden on his shoulders."
"Did you ever think about it that Tony might not think of it as a burden? It sounds as if you two went through a lot. I think he would support you."
Gibbs slowly shook his head.
"Of course. He would say that he loves me no matter what, that he supports me and all that. But I would be a burden."
Lil sat back in her chair and took a sip of her coffee.
"You know, Jethro, I don't think that's why you're running away."
Gibbs rolled his eyes. Now she'd do one of her analysing shit. It sucks to have a psychologist as a sister.
"If you haven't changed completely since the last time we've met you would never admit to have any weakness. You never wanted any help and if you think back that was one of the reasons for our fight. It's one thing to ask your sister for help, it's another to ask your partner and son. I think in your mind it's your job to protect your family because you couldn't protect the family you once had and that's why you're running away. Because you can't protect them if you're blind. Am I right?"
He pressed the balls of his hands against his eyes.
"Will you help me, or not?"
3 months later.
He heard the noise of machines usual in hospitals. He could feel the cotton of the sheets, raw from thousand times of washing, under his palms and he could smell that distinguished hospital scent. His head was still fuzzy but he raised his hand to his eyes only to feel a bandage over them.
"Hey, Jethro."
He turned his head to the sound of his sister's voice. Swallowing he tried to get moisture to his dry mouth.
"Lil...how did..."
He felt her hand on his arm and by this small gesture he knew it.
"Jethro, I talked to the doctor. The were complications...I'm sorry..."
He licked his lips and laughed hollow.
"Yeah...me, too..."
A sob escaped his throat.
"You...you know...I'll never see my children grow up. Why, Lil? Why don't I have the chance to see at least one of them grow up?"
The hand on his arm squeezed gently.
"You could be there, though."
"After what I said? After running away? After I accused Tony of cheating on me just so he'd let me go? After I told him to do an abortion...Oh my god! Please...please don't let him do that..."
She caught him in her arms.
"Jethro, if it's any help...I could talk to Ducky. I won't tell him that you're here I'll just ask what been going on. I'll tell him you called and I couldn't tell what had happened."
He shook his head vehemently.
"No...it'll...it'll make it more difficult. I don't want to know how they are. I don't want to know if I'll have another child...I wish...I wish I never met Tony."
Author's Chapter Notes:
Does he want to know?
Chapter End Notes:
I'M not quite sure where this is leading to.