Her tears fell into the sink as she took the scissors to her hair, halving the glowing auburn curtain that reached past her hips. Then she took the box of dye in hand, slicing it open with her fingernails. On the front of the box was a smiling woman with soft black hair, almost identical to the colour hers had been when she was little. She set the box back on the granite counter and slipped a pair of coloured Rx lenses into her eyes, changing them from emerald green to a cool brown. Sarai closed her eyes briefly, watching the Razi that Gibbs knew disappear, bit by bit.



Sarai gazed around, helplessly, lost in the huge, confusing town that was her new home. A young man stepped up to her, a friendly face in the crowd. “Hey. You’re looking a little lost. You need help getting somewhere?” he asked, blue eyes smiling.
She nodded gratefully. “I’m trying to get to…Well, to be honest, I’m trying to get anywhere. I’m looking for a change of scenery.”
“Oh yeah? Where are you from?”
“New York.” She replied, flushing. “Queens. I’m not used to all the space out here. I’m Kyra, by the way. Kyra Davis.”
“Alec Paxton. Well, if you just want a change of pace, there’s some places just outside Quantico that you might like. I have a feeling that anything you find here is going to be pretty different from Queens, though.”
Sarai smiled. “Thanks. Do…do you think you could give me some directions or something?”
“Sure. Let’s see, if you take Main all the way out to Carson, you should start seeing apartments and homes. You’ll probably be able to find something out there.”
“Great. Maybe I’ll see you around.”
“I hope so. Good luck, Kyra.” He gave a little wave and headed off. Sarai turned and walked in the direction he’d pointed her, and soon enough, she’d reached residential streets. Eventually, she saw a small house for rent and made note of the number.



A couple of months later, she stood in the middle of a fairly empty house, and the pain she'd been battling washed over her, a steady ache. Why had she left him? Would it have made a difference? Why had she gone in the first place? And why did it even matter anymore? She sighed, leaving the house in search of a bar. She sat down at the counter, ordering a drink and turning to the room, watching. That was what she liked to do the most; watch. Watch people, watch events, watch life as it passed her by. The bartender handed her a glass, and she accepted it, eyes not leaving the group of marines hanging out across the room. Suddenly, one of them looked up and walked over to her. “Hey, Kyra. You find a place yet?”
She smiled. “Yeah, thanks to you. I didn’t know you were a marine.”
“How’d you know?” he asked curiously.
She nodded towards his friends. “You boys aren’t exactly the suit wearing types, and they all stand like marines.” She said, sipping from her glass.
He looked amused. “I didn’t know we had that distinctive of a stance.” He joked, leaning on the bar counter next to her.
She recognized the position, one that men took up often around her. Close, but not crowding, and definitely aiming for something that she probably didn’t want to give them. Alec was more polite than others, though, so she didn’t mind nearly as much. “Oh, yes. I could spot a fighter’s stance a mile away. I like marines.” She murmured flirtatiously.
He hide his surprise better than she’d expected him to. “We’re not too bad. I could introduce you to the group if you want. They’re a good bunch.”
“Thanks Alec. I’d like that.” she finished her drink and gestured to the bartender to refill it.
Alec glanced at the glass curiously. “What’re you drinking?”
The bartender set her glass back down on the counter, full again. “I really wouldn’t ask that, if I were you.” He warned Alec.
Sarai laughed at the confusion on the young marine’s face. “He’s right. Suffice to say, it ain’t weak stuff.” She hooked her arm through his. “Come on, introduce me to your friends.”
Alec nodded, his behaviour dramatically altered by the knowledge that he had a beautiful woman on his arm and she seemed quite happy to stay there. He brought her over to his fellow marines, some of whom let out a series of whistles when they saw her. Alec frowned at the disrespectful welcome, but as Sarai shrugged it off, he didn’t say anything. “Kyra, this is Tyler Foster, Lane Parker, Ben Hayes, and Flynn Marks.” He said, gesturing to each of the men in turn. They all made various hellos, and Sarai smiled, reveling in being surrounded by the power and strength that came with the title Marine.
She nodded to each of them, eyes appraising. Two of the four men didn’t notice her surveillance, and she immediately dismissed them as useless, but Tyler and Lane were more observant and she bestowed a sweet smile on them in reward. “Hi. How’s life on base, boys?” They all glanced at Alec. Laughter bubbled from her lips, low and musical, drawing all five men’s eyes back to her. “Don’t blame Alec, he didn’t say a word. It was obvious.” Her gaze raked down Alec’s, Tyler’s, and Lane’s bodies. This last examination dropped Lane out of the competition, leaving only Tyler and Alec in a race they didn’t even know they’d entered.
“You drinking beer, Kyra?” asked Flynn, finally realizing that he’d lost her attention.
She raised an eyebrow. “It look like beer to you, Lance Corporal?” she asked dryly. The other men laughed and smacked Flynn on the back as he was shot down.
Her eyes widened in surprise as Tyler leaned over and plucked the glass out of her hand, tossing some of the liquid back. He glanced down at the glass in his hand, laughing. “The woman drinks bourbon.” He chuckled. “And she knows a Lance Corporal when she sees one. How much time do you spend with Marines, Kyra?”
She tipped her head to the right slightly. “Not much.” She teased. “I spend more time with the boys in the army yard. They’re not nearly as good. Too reliant on their toys to be much fun.” She reached out and took her glass back, tossing the whole thing down her throat easily.
Flynn and Ben whistled, clapping. “You’ve got that right.” Laughed Ben. “Marines use their hands.” Lane was laughing so hard at all the double entendres, that tears formed in his eyes.
Sarai pressed her back into Alec, glancing up at him with a smile. “Don’t I know it.” She said huskily.
Alec flushed and dragged Sarai away from his friends’ bawdy whistles and calls. “Sorry about them.” He muttered apologetically. “I guess they’ve had a few too many drinks. They’re not usually like this.”
Sarai looked up at him sadly. “You’re very sweet, Alec.” She said softly, touching his cheek. “Too sweet. Don’t get yourself involved with me.”
“Why not?” he demanded, annoyed. “Because you could have the pick of any guy here and I’m not good enough?” She dropped her hand into her lap and he seemed to regret his words. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
She smiled weakly at her lap, avoiding his eyes. “I know you didn’t. You’ll make a wonderful match for someone, but it won’t be me. I’d still like to be friends though. I do like you, just not like that.” She glanced up, a question in her eyes.
“Sure.” He replied, disappointed. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
She leaned up and kissed him softly on the cheek. “Thank you, Alec. I owe you a lot. More than you could imagine.” A timid small crossed her lips before she left the counter, drink in hand.
The bartender approached Alec with a fatherly attitude. “She’s a bit of a femme fatal.” He said, sympathetically.
Alec groaned. “Just my luck. I find a pretty girl who likes me, but she’s too noble to give me a shot.”
“You weren’t here earlier.” Commented the bartender. “She’s drinking out of grief, that one. Probably just lost her husband.”
Alec snorted, watching as Sarai flirted with his friends. “She doesn’t look too grieved to me.”
The bartender shrugged. “She’s looking to get laid, thinks that’ll make her feel better. But she would feel guilty seducing you when she’s sure you’re not after sex. I see it all the time. Stick with it though, after she’s healed a bit, she may come back to her dear sweet friend.”
Alec glanced at the man behind the bar, curiously. “You sound like a psychologist.” He muttered.
“Honestly, buddy, with the stuff people tell me while they’re sitting there, I feel like a shrink. Sometimes I wonder if I ought to start charging for advice as well as drinks.”



Sarai stood in the centre of the crowd, reveling in the attention. She never allowed herself to be widely noticed, and she was enjoying the freedom that she allowed herself. Flynn had refused to give up on her attention, and now he came up behind her, drawing her close. “Where’d you come from, Kyra? How’d Alec get a hold of you?”
She grinned, hips swaying against him. “I showed up on a broomstick.” She joked, feeling a little tipsy. “And Alec was kind enough to help me find a place to stay.”
“Yeah, but where were you before you moved here?” asked Ben curiously.
She shrugged, pulling herself away from Flynn’s chest. “Here, there, everywhere. I travel a lot, and sometimes I can hardly even remember where I’ve been. I think I was in Queens last.”
“Think you’re going to be here long?” Tyler finished his last drink, cutting himself off. It would probably be a good idea for her to do the same soon, before she lost her mind again like before.
“Maybe, maybe not.” She murmured noncommittally.
“You ought to stay.” Ben told her. “It’s a great place, lots of things to do, people to see.”
Sarai smiled. “I’m sure it is, and I’ll stay while I can, but I won’t make any promises.” She grimaced as she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. “Hey, I’m going to have to take this, do you mind?” No one did, so she stepped into a corner, flipping her phone open and putting it to her ear. “Davis.” She answered quietly.
“Where are you? I’ve been trying to reach you for a while now. I had to call Jen and get this number.”
Sarai rolled her eyes. Poor Papí, she thought to herself, dryly. “I’m in Virginia. Back near Quantico.”
“Why?” the one word held more meaning than most people could realize. “Why would you go back there?”
“Because it’s home.” She replied tartly. “Whatever happened here, it will always be my home.”
“And what if they’re still there, my dear?”
Sarai paled slightly, but otherwise remained calm. “I shall care for that problem when it arrives. Until then, I’m staying.”
Eli sighed. “You always were stubborn. Alright, just be careful, please?”
“I will.” She said softly. “I always am, to the best of my ability.”
“Good girl.” He hung up, and she shook her head. Her father had never been one for sentiments. She put her head against her hand for a moment, breathing deeply.
“You okay?” asked Tyler, coming up behind her.
She looked up. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I, uh…Did you want something?” she didn’t bother to explain, and was grateful that he didn’t ask.
He shrugged. “Just you.” He replied easily.
A ripple of something like attraction ran through her, and she clarified the statement, mouth dry. “Are you asking me on a date?” she asked carefully.
“Yes I am.” He put her arms around his neck. “What do you say?”
She twined her fingers together behind his neck, gazing at him curiously. “Sure. I’d like that.” She gave a small nervous laugh. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because I want to kiss you.” He said quietly, and her breath caught in her throat, the ache pulsing in her body only partly from desire. “I really want to kiss you.”
Sarai flushed, suddenly unsure. She’d been in many relationships, all of them manufactured, at least on her part. What was she supposed to do? Tyler wasn’t someone she was seducing to get nearer to her goal, he was just an ordinary man, and with him she could just be an ordinary woman. But if she had no objective in sight, no end result she knew she was reaching for, then how was she supposed to know what the right choice was? Suddenly, life had given her an opportunity to make a decision, a real decision, and she didn’t know how to handle it. But he’d taken her lack of objection as an agreement, and she was relieved that she wasn’t going to be responsible for the choice. He leaned his head down to hers, and she was truly hesitant as she let their lips touch. She pulled back slowly. “I…I don’t know what to say, or what to do.” She admitted, anxiously. “I don’t know how this is supposed to work. Dating, I mean.”
He laughed, and oddly enough, the sound comforted her. “That’s good, because it isn’t supposed to work any specific way. We just make decisions as we reach the crossroads. You’re just supposed to do what feels right to you.” He told her gently.
“But…What feels right…it’s entirely different from everything my brain has to say.” She protested, confused.
“When it comes to things of the heart, our brains are the only things that keep us from doing the right thing. When you try to reason your way through love, you wind up heartbroken.” He said, arms around her waist. “What does your heart tell you to do?”
“It says…” It said that she shouldn’t be here in Tyler’s arms right now, she should be making her way back to DC, back to the man who could destroy her in a second if he wanted to. Her heart was telling her to go back and tell him everything, stay with him, never lie to him again. To let there be one person in her life, one that she loved, who knew everything, who would hold her and tell her it was alright, that he’d protect her. She swallowed and looked back up into Tyler’s brown eyes, drastically different from the bluish gray ones she wanted to be looking at. “It says to kiss you.” She whispered. “Is that alright?”
“Absolutely.” She stood on her tiptoes, Tyler being an easy three inches above her own five foot eight, and closed her eyes. She could fell his warm breath on her lips when she felt someone nearby. Her eyes flew open, her lips a hair’s breadth away from his.
Lane tapped him on the shoulder. “We’ve got to go, Ty. Come on.” He turned away from them, but Sarai couldn’t get back the feeling that had urged her to kiss Tyler.
She stepped back, unlocking her arms from him. “I’ll see you later.” She murmured, her head turned away in embarrassment.
He tipped her chin up, forcing her to look at him. “I’ll meet you at Kalso’s, across the street, tomorrow at five, okay?” She nodded, and he pressed his lips to hers. Her world stood still for a moment, everything revolving around the simplicity and trust in that kiss. She stared after him, dazed, as he walked away, slipping into his coat. Then she noticed that Lane was still standing nearby, watching her. For some reason, the look in his eyes frightened her. It wasn’t cruel or malignant, it was very simply calculating, and she wondered if she’d been right to dismiss him so quickly. A phrase that her mother had drilled into her since she could speak ran through her mind as Lane turned and followed his friends out of the bar. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

“I’m telling you, Ty, she’s trouble!” exclaimed Lane. “She’s hiding something, I know it.”
“Come on, Lane, you’ve got to be kidding me. Kyra’s just the new girl on the block, there’s nothing secretive about her.”
“She won’t answer any questions about her life.” Insisted Lane. “Try it, she won’t tell you anything.”
“Maybe she fought with her parents, maybe she lost a child, did you ever consider that?” demanded Tyler, impatiently. “Look, Lane, I like Kyra, and I can date her if I want to. And I do. Can’t you just get over your paranoia and congratulate me for finding the woman who might actually be right for me?”
Lane sighed. Tyler had always been a ladies’ man, claiming that he was just looking for the right girl, and he couldn’t stand the ones he was finding. “Fine, but when you find out just how much trouble she’s caused, don’t come running to me.”
He turned to leave, but Tyler grabbed his arm. “Do you know her from somewhere or something? Is that why you’re so determined to keep me away from her?”
“I know her type, Ty, and she plays games. She’ll play with you until she gets tired of you, and then she’ll go off to find a new toy. In the meantime, I don’t particularly look forward to watching you turn into an idiot over her.”
“Then maybe it’s time we agreed to disagree.” Replied Tyler coldly. “Goodbye, Lane.”



Sarai sat in Cathy Reynolds office at the Archaeological Institute, across the desk from the older woman. Cathy’s short graying hair curled around her head like a cloud, matching her easy-going brown eyes. She flipped through Sarai’s résumé and references, pleased, before glancing up at the girl herself. Sarai had dressed in blue-gray slacks and a black and white blouse. Professional, yet functional, something that Cathy admired. The archaeologist snapped Sarai’s file closed, decisively. “You seem like exactly what we need, Ms. Davis. I always enjoy assigning bright, independent young women to my teams. It’s quite vindicating.” Cathy smiled grimly, the picture of a woman who had fought every step of the way to become what everyone had said she couldn’t be. “In fact, your application comes at a rather opportune time. I’ve been looking for a lab specialist for one of my new digs.
“I had hoped to start right away.” She already knew she came as an answered prayer. She’d done her research before she arrived. Where could she go and who could she be that would make life functional and normal as soon as possible?
Cathy was pleased to hear the note of power and confidence in the young woman’s soft voice. “I have to admit, though, I have my doubts about placing you on this particular team. I’m the only other woman on it, and I’ve had trouble in the past with the young women on such teams.”
Sarai smiled. “I assure you, Ms. Reynolds, there won’t be any trouble. In fact, I shall rather enjoy the challenge of the circumstances.”
“Call me Cathy.” Replied the other woman, holding out her hand. Sarai shook it. “Welcome to the team.”



“Yes, Jen, I’ve settled in fine.” Soothed Sarai, walking down the street towards the restaurant that Tyler had invited her to. “Of course I’m sure! You and Eli worry too much. I’ll be fine.” She sighed. “Yes, of course I’ll check in. And I’ll take care of myself. Work’s fine. I had to put in a request for a few items, but other than that, it’s really a very satisfactory set up. Say hi to María for me. Goodbye, Jen.” Sarai shook her head, laughing to herself as she pocketed her phone. Jen really did worry too much. She looked up as she saw the figure approach her. “Oh! Hello, Lane.” She said brightly, already having brushed off the fears she’d had the previous night as the result of the unfamiliar circumstances. “How are you?”
“Fine.” He said, shortly.
She was surprised by the clip to his tone. “Did I say something?” she asked, confused.
“Let’s cut to the chase. I don’t think Tyler should be spending time with you.”
“Oh!” Her nose wrinkled, unsure what to do with this information.
“You and I both know that you’re more of a player than even he is, so I’m going to warn you once. Tyler’s impressionable, and he doesn’t believe me when I say you’re trouble, but if you play him like you do everybody else, like you played Alec and Flynn, I’m not going to hold back. I’m not afraid to pick a fist fight with a woman.”
“Then I guess it’s a good thing I know how to hit back.” She said quietly. “I don’t want to get in between Tyler and his friends, and I certainly don’t want to have to finish any fights, but I can promise you that if you throw a punch at me, you’ll miss and I won’t. Marine or no, I’m out of your league.”
She turned to leave, and he grabbed her arm, like Tyler had done to him earlier that day. “I’m not done.” He threatened.
She glanced down at where his fingers were marking her porcelain skin, then back at him. “I assure you we are. You’ve warned me, I’ve parried, and I shall also promise to do everything in my power not to play him. Would you mind letting go, please?” Her voice was sweet and light, designed to keep people from being attracted by her tone, but her eyes had long ago frosted over.
He looked at her for a second, then nodded, more to himself than her, and released her. “I’ll see you around.” There was a warning in his voice.
“Perhaps.” She slipped into a crowd of people on the sidewalk and disappeared from his sight. She glanced at the red marks on her arm, knowing that she would have Lane’s fingers bruised into her arm by morning, and made her way to the restaurant in a thoughtful silence.



Several months later, Sarai leaned back against Tyler on her couch as the two of them watched a movie. She yawned, exhausted. She hadn’t been able to sleep for days because of her dreams. One night, she’d be having night terrors of Suicide Alley, and the next, she’d be dreaming about those blue eyes she missed so much, but either way, she woke up gasping in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep no matter how tightly she curled up against the sharp ache in her body. Tyler glanced down at her. “Bored?” he teased.
She shook her head, yawning again. “My father keeps calling me in the middle of the night.” She explained. It was somewhat true, her father had been calling her without much concern for the time difference between them, and the ring of her phone had interrupted her night terrors more than once in the past week. “He keeps wanting to talk.”
“You don’t get along to well with your dad, do you?”
“No.” she admitted softly. “I haven’t seen him in years. Mamá died when I was fourteen, and we didn’t get along too well after that. I guess, maybe, I blamed him somehow.” He dragged his fingers through her hair, and she relaxed in his arms. “There are a lot of people who don’t like me. Other women, mostly, but men too, sometimes. Lane doesn’t like me.”
She felt him tense under her, and when he spoke, his tone was annoyed. “Lane just hasn’t gotten to know you. He thinks he knows everything about you, and he’s hardly even spoken to you.”
Sarai reached up behind her and put her hand to his cheek. “He’s a good friend, Ty. He just doesn’t want anyone to take advantage of you. Gen is the same way about me.”
Tyler laughed, and the tension in the air vanished. “That’s true. Gen absolutely hates me. She threatened me with manicure scissors if I ever hurt you. I’m not even sure what they are.”
Sarai smiled and pulled a small kit out of her purse, removing a small pair of sharp, curved scissors, the blades looking like some cruel bird’s beak. “These are manicure scissors.” She said, handing to them. Tyler paled at the thought of tiny, ferocious Genevieve going after him with these. “Don’t worry, baby,” she cooed, stifling laughter. “I won’t let her anywhere near you with them.” They were completely ignoring the movie by now, not caring that Van Helsing was about to enter the Vampire’s lair. Sarai turned in his arms, kissing him softly. Her heart sped up as his fingers trailed over her skin, and she traced his lip with the tip of her tongue, enticing him to deepen the kiss. It worked, and her mind went blank as his mouth moved seductively against hers. She sighed, happily, relaxing on top of him. His hands rested on her hips, carefully inching her blouse up her torso. She smiled at his caution and pulled the tank top over her head, tossing it to the floor. “Yours too.” She murmured, huskily, popping the buttons open on his shirt. She pushed the sleeves over his shoulders, leaving his arms pinned by the fabric.
“No fair.” He teased, nipping at her lips, but she just smiled wickedly and kissed his chest.
“I don’t remember signing a contract that said I had to be fair.” She said, watching the muscles in his arms work to move the shirt off his arms. “Just that I wasn’t supposed to reason myself through this.”
“Damn straight.” He rose up, pushing her onto her back and sliding the shirt onto the floor with hers.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, looking up at him through her Rx lenses, and she had the sudden and irrational urge to pull them out of her eyes and let him see the emerald colour beneath them. Through a haze of sensation, she knew that she needed to get back in control of herself before she let herself do something dangerous. “Wait.” He pulled back, gazing into her eyes expectantly. He’d gotten used to that word being used before she expressed another of her doubts that she could function in a relationship. “What are we doing? Where are we going?”
“Tonight? Nowhere.” He replied firmly. “I merely enjoy kissing you.”
She flushed, more uncertain than ever. “I’m sorry, I just…”
He shrugged. “Don’t be. You’re just being reasonable again. We’re not going anywhere.” He began his usual comforting mantra. “We’re just going to make each decision as they arrive, not plan for all the thousands of possibilities.”
She smiled, feeling better, as always, after his words. “Thank you. It’s just that, I want…I mean, I don’t know…” she struggled to put her thoughts into words. “I guess I’m scared.” She finished quietly.
“Of what?”
“Of us. Of what might happen. I don’t know what the right thing is to do, all I know is that I want you so much it hurts sometimes.”
He hovered over her, tracing her scars absently. She controlled the small shivers the action caused, but noticed that her skin didn’t catch fire the way it had for Jethro. “That’s the way it should be. If you didn’t feel like that, it wouldn’t be right.”
She sighed, closing her eyes. “It’s so confusing. I feel like there’s a rulebook out there that everyone’s read but me.” She muttered. He laughed and kissed her, promptly making her forget why she was so confused by the way love worked. She traced her fingers over his chest as his lips moved seductively against hers. “Let’s reconsider that idea of not going anywhere tonight.” She breathed, eyes clouded by desire. She could feel the change her words caused and she gave a small sigh, only mildly impressed. “Please?”
His reply was to slide his hands down her body and undo the snap on her jeans, sliding them down her legs. “We can do that. How shall we go about it?”
She tipped her head back, breathing faster as he stroked her skin. “First things first, we’re not staying on this damn couch.” She told him, pushing herself up. She pulled him back towards her room, determined to avoid her usual style this time. She didn’t want him to fuck her up against a wall anywhere in her house, she wanted to make love in her own bed. She wanted it to be careful, almost innocent, the first time. She wanted it to finally make her care about him. She lay back on the bed, dragging his mouth back to hers.
Their clothes seemed to melt away, easily, and she was surprised at how nervous she really was. It was almost as if she was a young virgin about to make love for the first time. He seemed to notice her anxiety, because he slipped his hand under her head, rubbing her cheek gently, and moved through the motions carefully. She gasped when he pressed against her, repositioning her hips to better accommodate him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding herself close, and Tyler kissed her hard, drowning her soft moans in his scent. His mouth skimmed along her collarbone, nipping at the pale skin one moment and softly placating the small wounds the next. Sarai pulled him back up to her mouth, desperately, and covered the hand on her cheek with her own, interlacing their fingers. The only part of her body that held steady as she fell into the heavy abyss of orgasm was that hand, holding tightly to his.
As she lay under him, her racing heart beginning to return to its normal pace, she kissed him deeply, a glorious heat spreading through her. He ran his fingers through her hair, relaxed. “You seemed nervous.” He murmured. “Was that your first time?”
“No. I’m just not used to…to knowing that the person I’m with is still going to care in the morning.” She answered softly, rolling them onto their sides. “I’m used to being abandoned after I give in.” It was true, though, in some cases, it wasn’t their fault that they had left her.
He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Well I’m not going to walk out on you. You’re stuck with me now, Miss Kyra.”
She smiled, the feeling in his voice making her glow even more than the warmth in her stomach. “I’m only stuck if I don’t want to be here.” She replied. “I love you, Tyler, I’m not stuck.”
He looked at her for a moment, thoughtful. “I love you too.” He said thoughtfully.
“You’re not obligated to say that, Ty.” She told him, gently. “I’d rather you take your time so that I know you mean it.”
“I do mean it. I’m not quite used quite used to it yet, but it’s true.” He looked deep into her eyes. “I love you, Kyra.”
She could’ve cried, he was so sincere. As it was, her eyes stung with the effort of keeping them dry. She loved him, it was true, but she wasn’t IN love with him and she never could be. Her heart had already been left with someone else, someone she could never go back to, but it wasn’t fair to let him say those words with such seriousness was it? But he was watching her, every moment that she fought with her conscience made him wonder a little bit more about her, so she made up her mind. “I love you.” She whispered, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in the crook of his neck.
She felt, more than heard, his sigh of relief, and his arms cam around her, running up and down her back as he held her close.



Five years later, Sarai sat nervously in the car, knuckles white on the steering wheel. She snuck glances at a furious looking Tyler every now and then, and didn’t move when they reached their destination. “Just give him another chance.” She pleaded softly, staring straight ahead.
He turned to glare at her, but found he couldn’t in the face of her anxiety. “He doesn’t have to be such a bastard, Kyra, and I’ve given him plenty of chances.”
“Just one more, please!” she begged. “I’m sure the two of you can stay on each other’s good sides this time. Lane’s just got a temper.”
Tyler sighed and leaned over the centre piece of the car. The kiss soothed her a little, and her tense muscles relaxed. “You have no sense of self-preservation, do you?” he sighed.
“I don’t like being the reason you two are always fighting.” She said carefully. “And I admit, he’s a bit nicer when he talks about me if you two are on friendly terms. I don’t like being called a whore any more than the next woman, and he’s not quite so verbal when he’s trying to stay on your good side.”
Tyler laughed, getting out of the car. “Fine, one more chance, but this is the last one, okay?” She nodded, following him up the path, trying to stay out of sight for the reunion. Tyler knocked on the door and Lane opened it quickly. “Hey, Lane, I’d like to apologize for being a little hasty today.” He said, not sounding at all sorry.
Lane glanced over his shoulder and when his eyes fell on Kyra, they darkened. “I don’t need you trying to fix things.” He told her, angrily.
“Evidently, you do.” Said Tyler, stepping between them. He knew that Lane would take a swing at Kyra if he could. “Or this wouldn’t be happening.”
“It wouldn’t have started if she’d never shown up. You never listen to me, but I’ll say it anyway, she’s trouble.”
“Now you listen, Lane…” he took a step forward angrily, but as Kyra looked over his shoulder, she saw a little boy in pajamas standing in the doorway of what was presumably his room.
She slipped between the two men quickly. “Tyler…” she said warningly.
He glanced over and took a deep breath when he saw the boy. “Can’t you just be civil, set a good example for Brian?” he asked keeping his voice level.
“I am being civil. You just won’t listen to the truth.” Replied the taller man angrily. “It’s not my fault the bitch has got you all wound up for her.”
Sarai touched Tyler’s arm, soothingly, trying to keep him calm, but Lane’s words were getting to him, and if the other marine kept pushing buttons, she wouldn’t be able to stop the resulting fight. “Please,” she pleaded quietly. “You two were such good friends once, please just try to go back to that. You shouldn’t get so upset Tyler, and Lane, please just try to get along for a while. I know you two can work this out.” She flinched, her head snapping to the side as Lane slapped her, instantly blocking Tyler’s path to the him. She itched to fight back, to put the bastard in a body cast, but she knew it wouldn’t solve any problems and would only force an explanation for her skill later.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” spat Tyler, furious. “Do you have a death wish or something?”
“She doesn’t have any right to talk like that.” replied Lane coolly.
Sarai threw a pained glance over her shoulder as she dragged Tyler back to the car, muttering curses under his breath. “You should’ve let me deck him for you.” He spat.
She focused on putting the car into gear instead of on her stinging cheek. “I can take care of myself, Ty, don’t worry. If he ever really tries to hurt me, I’ll fight back, but under the circumstances, there was no point. Besides, his son was there, and if it wasn’t me then, it would have been him later. You know how I feel about exposing children to violence.”
“Unreasonable violence, sure, but…”
“ANY violence.” She said passionately. He glanced at her in surprise and she took a deep breath, calming her thoughts and staring straight ahead, her neck tight with stress. “I grew up in a world where you had to fight for your life every day. I saw no reason for it then, I see no reason for it now.”
He ran his hand along her leg, sighing. “I forgot. But I need you to promise me something.”
“Hmm?” she asked absently.
“No more trying to fix things, I’m tired of dealing with his crap.”
“Alright, I’m sorry. I just…I just hate that it’s because of me you two aren’t friends anymore.” Muttered Sarai.
“It isn’t just that, and besides, he’s just jealous that I’ve got the most beautiful, incredible woman in the world.” Teased Tyler.
Colour flamed up in her cheeks. “Shut up, you. I’m trying to drive.”
“No you’re not, you already parked.” He laughed. He got out, opening the door for her. Her blush deepened as he yanked her out of the car and into his arms. “It’s the truth, you are beautiful and amazing, and I’m just going to have to find a way to make you believe it.”
“I’m not as humble as you seem to think.” She warned, backing up until she hit the door. He reached behind her and opened it, making her stumble backwards.
“Maybe not, but I love you all the same.” He replied, kissing her hard on the lips.

Sarai woke to the horrible twisting of her stomach, one that she was familiar with. She slid quickly out of bed, flying to the bathroom. She locked the door behind her, not wanting Tyler to come in and see her, and knelt in front of the toilet, her body convulsing. Afterwards, she put the back of her hand to her mouth, swearing silently. “Oh, God, I can’t do this.” She whispered to herself. There was a knock at the door, and Tyler was asking her if she was alright, concern in his voice, and she swore again. “It’s nothing.” She called out to him. “I’m fine, go back to bed.” She got up and washed her mouth out before going back to him. He was sitting in bed, leaning against the headboard, waiting for her.
“You don’t always have to be so self-sufficient.” He said gently as she slipped back under the covers. He pulled her into his arms, and she winced inwardly as his hands rested on her stomach. “You should really let me take care of you sometimes.”
She curled into him, tucking her dark head under his chin. “I’ve always taken care of myself.” She replied easily. “Besides, you work hard enough as it is.”
He sighed, deciding not to bother with this argument. It was one he’d never won before, and he had the feeling he wasn’t going to start winning it now. He glanced at the clock. “Speaking of work, it’s almost time for us to get up anyway. I might be a little late coming home today, alright?”
Sarai nodded, turning her head to kiss him. “That’s fine. Gen and I have lots to do anyway.” Including some personal things. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Tyler got up and pulled on his uniform before heading out. She bit her lip and did the same, deciding to skip breakfast in favour of a little trip to the pharmacy.



“What am I going to do?” cried Sarai, falling into her chair.
Genevieve hovered nearby, her blonde hair swinging as she shook her head. “I really have no idea.” She replied, apologetically. “I’ve never been in this situation before.”
“It just figures.” Said Sarai miserably. “Doesn’t it just figure?”
“Why?” Gen’s blue eyes were puzzled.
“Because I’m the worst person to even consider being a mother! This can’t be happening.” Moaned Sarai.
Gen rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t be melodramatic. You’ll be a great mother, and if you really don’t want the baby, get an abortion, or give it up for adoption.”
“I do want the baby.” Said Sarai, head in her hands. “I want it, but I don’t want it, you know? I like the idea of being a mom, I just don’t think it’s a good thing for me right now.”
“Have you told him yet?”
Sarai glanced up at her friend, uncomprehendingly. “What?”
Gen sighed, sitting down next to her. “Did you tell Tyler?” she asked again.
“No. I only figured out this morning. He was already at work.”
“You could have called him.”
“He’s busy!”
“Email?”
“Not an appropriate way to tell him.”
“Then are you going to tell him tonight?”
“I don’t know.” Hedged Sarai.
Gen threw her hands in the air, frustrated. “You’re impossible. Fine, but it’ll be pretty hard to ignore once you start to show. Not even men are that dense.”
“I know. I know.” Muttered Sarai. “I’ll tell him as soon as I can, okay?”
Gen nodded shortly. “Good. Now quit sulking and get over here, these tests aren’t going to do themselves.”



When Sarai got home, only a half hour later than usual, she saw the light on inside. She smiled and pushed the door open, then paused. The stereo was on, playing quietly, and the table was set with all sorts of formality. She bit her lip, turning to Tyler, who was leaning against the wall, waiting for her response. “What is all this?” she asked incredulously.
He stepped up to her, putting his arms around her waist and kissing her softly. “Don’t you like it?” he asked, laughing a little.
“I love it, but what’s the occasion?” she was afraid that she’d forgotten some important date.
He shrugged. “Nothing in particular, I just wanted to surprise you.”
“Well you’ve certainly done that.” She laughed. “I’m guessing from that table that there’s a very nice dinner ready for tonight.”
He nodded, leading her over and pulling out the chair for her. “After putting up brave fight, I finally managed to make us some spaghetti. Unfortunately, it was at the cost of dessert, so no sugar for my girl today.” He joked, filling their plates before sitting down across from her. “So how was work in ancient Persia?”
Sarai rolled her eyes, poking at the food without much of an appetite. “Cathy’s about jumping off the walls, she’s so excited. She thinks we’ve stumbled onto what’s left of a stop on the underground railroad. The last time I saw her this way was when Gen told Theo to shove his ego up his ass.” She replied, glancing at her wine glass and wishing she could drink it.
Tyler noticed that she hadn’t eaten anything yet. “Did I really do that badly?” he asked, anxiously.
“No!” she hastened to reassure him. “I’m just nervous.”
“About what?”
“I’m trying to figure out who’s birthday it is, or if it’s some anniversary or another.” She admitted.
He laughed. “Can’t a man just set up a romantic night for the woman he loves?” he asked, feigning hurt.
“A man, sure, but not you.” She teased back. “Well, which is it?”
“Let’s dance.” He said, changing the subject as he jumped up, pulling her with him. He changed the settings on the stereo and drew her towards him, leading their steps in small circles as they danced. There were slow songs, club songs, and even a jazz piece or two, but she still started laughing when Taylor Swift’s Love Story started playing. They danced, thoroughly insulting the steps of the Minuet, but towards the end of the song, he let go of her.
“Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you, but you never come, is this in my head, I don’t know what to think.” Sang the CD, and Sarai froze as Tyler got down on one knee, a small box materializing in his hand. “He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said, Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone.” The music sounded worlds away, and she couldn’t hear what he was saying, even as she watched his lips move. Her legs gave way under her, and he had to catch her, holding her close as spots flashed in front of her eyes.
“Are you okay?” She heard him say, sound finally returning to her. “Hey, Kyra, look at me, honey.” She threw her arms around him, startling him, and started crying. He rubbed her back, confused. “Is that a yes or a no?” he asked gently.
“I don’t know, Oh god, I don’t know.” She sobbed, burying her face in his shirt. “I’m sorry.” She said, hiccupping as she calmed down.
“Hey, I’m still just hoping you’re alright.” He said seriously. “What’s wrong?” He lifted her up and brought her over to the couch, pulling her into his lap.
“Lane was right, you know, I’m trouble.” She said desperately. “I always will be. I want to say yes, I want us to be forever, but…” she struggled to explain without telling the truths he couldn’t afford to know. “Look, Tyler, I may have been able to stay put for the last five years…”
“Almost six.” He corrected.
“Yes, but it’s not always going to be like that. Eventually, I’ll have to head out again, and I could be gone for years at a time, I might not be able to come back someday. And…the truth is, I….” Was she actually going to tell him? Put him in such a dangerous position? “I…”
He pressed his lips to hers, effectively shutting her up. “Are you even listening to yourself?” he demanded. “I’m the same way. I could be sent out on tour at any time, I might not make it back one of those times, and the tours definitely won’t last less than six months at a time. I don’t care. All that matters is that we both want this and that we both agree to live with the problems, make the best of it.” He held her face in his hands as he spoke, his expression determined.
She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.” She whispered, ready for him to backpedal his way out of his proposal.
Instead, a smile spread across his face. “Then I guess I asked just in time, otherwise you would’ve thought I was just doing my duty as a father.” He said firmly.
Sarai was shocked at the ease with which he took her announcement, he actually seemed happy about it. “You really want this?” she asked incredulously.
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t have asked in the first place if I didn’t want it.” He replied, a little indignant. “Do you want me to ask again? Just to be sure?”
She shook her head. “No, I already know my answer.”
His face fell at her tone. “Look, if you’re not comfortable with this, I can give you some space. I’m not going to push you, but I think you’re making a mistake. I’ve been looking for the right woman forever, and you’re the right one. Just because…”
“Yes.”
He started. “What?”
She smiled, hesitantly, and took another deep breath. “Yes, my answer is yes.”
His eyes lit up, and he pulled the ring out of its box, slipping it on her finger and interlacing their fingers. She looked down at the thin silver band. He’d picked a ring that was startlingly perfect for her. The silver threads were wound through each other like a Celtic knot, and hidden underneath the lines was a golden Star of David where another ring might have a gemstone. He tipped her face back up so she was looking into his eyes, and leaned in to kiss her. She couldn’t enjoy it like usual, knowing as she did that she was only going to end up hurting him, but she kissed him back, offering a silent prayer that she might be wrong and he would never feel the pain that she was almost certain to bring him.



A month later, Tyler was driving down to join his new wife at her first doctor’s appointment when he caught sight of someone getting mugged. He pulled over, getting out of the car quickly and racing after the thief. The man turned into an alley, and Tyler smiled grimly. The bastard was trapped. He turned the corner and hit the ground, shot. The other man’s steel grip closed on his arm, dragging him into the back of the alley. The man’s voice was cold. “I imagine your young wife won’t be too happy to see you like this.” He said quietly, his accent thick. “But we don’t have much choice. If she’d just died sixteen years ago when she was supposed to, we wouldn’t be forced to take such drastic actions. Or even if her mother had just minded her business. I don’t suppose you know who you married?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Spat Tyler, attempting to stop the bleeding on his leg. “And you leave Kyra out of this!”
The man shook his head, amused. “You married a spy’s daughter, and ‘Kyra’, as you call her, has been trained in the family business. Her real name is Sarai Razi Sheppard, and she has quite the talent for living through things she shouldn’t. Fortunately, you aren’t likely to have the same good luck.” Tyler couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but then the gun sent another bullet through the silencer, and he didn’t have to. Michael Tehran knelt down next to the dead man, slicing off his shirt, then he took the knife to his skin, carving in a warning to the woman he was tracking.

“Gibbs?” He picked up his phone, listening as dispatch described the case to him, then hung up. “Grab your gear. Dead marine in some local body dump. Let’s go.” He ordered, snapping the bullets into his gun. Gibbs and Tony rode out in the sedan while McGee, Ziva, Ducky, and Palmer rode in the van. When they arrived, there was already newspaper reporters at the scene. Gibbs frowned. “What are they doing here?” he muttered, annoyed.
His question was answered by a young reporter who headed the crowd that swarmed him as he stepped out of the car. “What do you think about the Suicide Alley sequels?” asked the man, eagerly. “This isn’t the first Marine to be killed here, is it possible that you have a serial killer with a vendetta against the Navy?”
Gibbs frowned deeper. What other marines had died here? “I haven’t even seen the body yet.” He replied tartly, pushing through the crowd and ignoring the questions that were flung at him. Tony followed, grinning. He loved the camera. The team ducked under the yellow tape, instantly free of reporters. Ziva went up to talk to the police, Tony and McGee snapped photos, and Gibbs glanced around the alley, taking in everything.



Sarai checked her phone as she drove home, wondering why Tyler had missed the appointment, and, even more, why he hadn’t called. She pulled into the house, surprised to see that his car wasn’t there. She unlocked the door and went in, settling down on the couch with some leftovers and a movie to wait for him. But the hours went by, and soon she was fast asleep.
When she woke up in the morning, she swore, seeing that she was going to be late for work. Her car was the only one in the driveway again, but she figured Tyler had already left for work. She was beginning to feel a little resentful about his not showing up. She got into her car and backed out of the driveway, heading down the road. She braced herself, as usual, when she neared Suicide Alley, and when she rounded the corner, he saw the crowd at the entrance and shuddered. “People are sick to enjoy such things.” She muttered to herself. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she saw four letters that terrified her. The NCIS van sat parked outside the alley, and crime scene tape was stretched in front of it. Suddenly, everything clicked, and she jerked hard on the steering wheel, pulling off to the side of the road. She got out, slamming the door behind her, and slipped easily through the crowd. She reached the tape, and froze, breathing hard as the world disappeared around her. She turned to the young woman wearing a blue NCIS cap and questioning the police officer who had presumably discovered the body. It was habit to check Suicide Alley three times a day, in case of a body dump. “Who’s dead?” she asked shakily.
“I’m afraid reporters will have to wait for the official report.” Replied the Israeli woman, sounding annoyed and Sarai knew she’d been bombarded by such questions since she arrived.
“I’m not a reporter.” She whispered, and Ziva glanced up at her tone.
Her attitude changed as she noticed the look of terror on Sarai’s face. “Um…” she checked her notes. “Lieutenant Tyler Foster.” She replied, looking back up just in time to see Sarai’s eyes roll back in her head as she fainted.
Ziva caught the woman as she fell. “Tony!” she called, and the young agent came forward, surprised to see an unconscious woman in Ziva’s arms.
“What happened?”
“I think she knows the Lieutenant.” Replied Ziva, checking the woman’s pulse. “She fainted as soon as she heard the name.” She turned back to Sarai as the other woman woke up. “Maám? Are you alright?” she asked.
Sarai stood up, watched carefully by Ziva to make sure she didn’t fall again. “Yes.” she said, her eyes dazed. “I’m sorry, that doesn’t usually happen.” He eyes darted over to the body a distance away, and she covered her mouth, holding in a scream. “He’s…Ty’s dead?” she asked, blankly. Her mind was too far away, wondering if this meant what she thought it did.
“I’m afraid so.” Said Tony, his tone soothing for the beautiful woman. “What’s your relationship to the Lieutenant?”
“He’s my husband.”
Ziva wondered why her voice sounded so dismissive. “We’re going to have to ask you a few questions.”
“Of course.” Sarai replied mechanically. “I just need to call my boss.” She stepped a short distance away, dialing Cathy.
“Cathy Reynolds, how can I help you?” came the business like answer.
“Hi Cathy, it’s Kyra. I can’t come in to work today.”
“Morning sickness got you down? If you ask me, it isn’t fair for women to bear the full weight of childbirth. Seahorses have the right idea, giving the females the ability to become pregnant, and making the males give birth, although I suppose that really wouldn’t work for…”
“Tyler’s dead.” She cut off her bosses rant. She barely heard the gasp on the other end of the line. Having said the truth out loud had made it real, and she was fighting to stay calm, to not go into hysterics. “He’s become just another victim of the Suicide Alley curse.” She said bitterly.
“Oh dear God.” Gasped Cathy. “Oh, I’m so sorry, honey. Of course you’re not coming in today, or tomorrow, or all week for that matter. I’ll tell Gen. Do you want me to come over there? I can keep the hounds off you.”
“I’d like that, Cathy, thank you.” Whispered Sarai. “Just promise you’ll let NCIS ask their questions. I want them to find who did this. Now.”
Cathy paused as she heard the fear in her voice. “I’ll be there soon, Kyra. I promise to behave.”
“Thanks.” She pocketed her phone and walked back over to Tony and Ziva. “Thank you for waiting. What do you need to know?”
“When was the last time you saw your husband?” asked Ziva.
“Yesterday morning. He was supposed to meet me at the doctor that evening, but he never arrived, and when his car was still gone this morning, I assumed that he had just left for work already.”
“Do you know of anyone who would want to hurt him?”
“No one. He was always laughing.” There were, however, plenty of people who wanted to hurt her, and killing Tyler was a great way to do that. Not to mention, it could just be a mugging gone sour. Tyler wouldn’t have put up with something like that.
“We’re going to need his computer and other personal effects, if you don’t mind.” Said Tony gently.
She shook her head. “Of course not. Anything you think will help, Agent…” she trailed off, not able to think of the young agent’s name.
“Special Agent DiNozzo, this is Officer Davíd.” Sarai concealed her surprise at meeting her half-sister. She hadn’t known that Ziva had started working for NCIS. “I’ll go with you to gather Lieutenant Foster’s things.”
She nodded. “Alright. My car’s over there.” She turned and headed back to her car.
Ziva grabbed Tony’s arm. “Don’t be an insensitive jerk, Tony.” She hissed before letting him go after her.
Sarai drove the five minutes back to her house in silence, thinking. She unlocked the door and stepped back for Tony to go in first. He stepped inside, surprised at the simplicity of the house. “Ty’s laptop is on the desk.” Murmured Sarai. “I’ll go see what else I can find for you.”
As soon as the door closed behind her, she slid down against the wall, her chin resting on her knees. She wrapped her arms around herself, burying her face in her lap and sobbing quietly. She heard the door click open, and Tony sat down next to her. “It’s better if you don’t try to hide behind a calm face.” He said quietly. “Losing someone is hard enough without making yourself sick over it.”
“Tyler didn’t deserve to die.” Came her muffled voice. “Not like this. He was a marine, a hero. If he had to die young, it should have been fighting for his country, not because of some Goddamned superstitious bastards who thought it would be funny to dump his body in that Goddamned alley.” She lifted her head, eyes red with tears coursing down her cheeks, voice rising in anger. “It isn’t funny, it isn’t at all. It’s perfectly horrid, and now instead of being recognized for the man he was, he’s going to be Suicide Alley’s latest victim, a no-name, an addition to that damn Halloween horror story.”
Tony was confused by this passionate outburst. “I keep hearing that name, what’s it about?”
“That alley where you found Ty? Sixteen years ago, two people were supposed to have committed suicide together there, only it turned out to be murder. The case was never solved, and now the alley’s a legend. Teenagers dare each other to spend a night there, and scare their younger siblings with the story. Plus it’s become sort of a dumping ground for the bodies of muggings turned deadly, fist fights, murder, anytime someone dies under unnatural circumstances, their body turns up there.” She laughed unsteadily. “I always had the strangest feeling, driving past, that it would be my body they found someday. Instead it was Tyler’s.” she fell silent for a moment, then pointed to the nightstand. “He always kept important things in there.”
Tony nodded and climbed to his feet, heading over to the set of drawers and emptying them. Then he walked back over. “If you think of anything that might help us, or just want to talk, feel free to call.” He said gently, handing her his card before leaving.
Sarai let her head fall back against the wall, incredibly tired. She stayed that way for a long while, just praying. After an hour, the doorbell rang, and she called out. “Come in.” She’d expected the firm tread of Cathy, but instead, she heard heavy, angry footsteps. Lane’s warning from six years ago came back to her mind, and she realized that judgment hour had come.
Lane strode into the room, a storm on his face. He glared down at Sarai. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he demanded. “You’re not even the least bit upset are you?”
Sarai pushed herself to her feet, slowly, too tired to know how to handle him. “Of course I am, Lane.” She replied heavily. “I just deal with it differently than you do.”
“The hell you do, you bitch!” he cried angrily. She turned her head and braced herself against the wall, and his fist crashed into her cheek, knocking her head back. “This is your fault, I’m sure of it! Tyler wouldn’t be dead of it weren’t for you.”
“I know.” She whispered, eyes closed.
“You know? Then why the hell haven’t you confessed?”
“I didn’t kill him, Lane.” She protested.
He hit her again, and the back of her head cracked against the wall, stunning her. “I thought you said you were going to fight back, or was that just talk? I warned you, I told you that if you pulled any shit with Ty, you wouldn’t get away with it.” She knew he was preparing to hit her a third time, and she ducked away, backing up into the other side of the room.
“Calm down, Lane.” She ordered quietly, knowing she wasn’t in any condition to hold in her anger if he pushed her.
“Why, so I can be a machine, like you?” he demanded. “It’s your fault he’s dead, I know it.”
Fire burned to life in her eyes and she flew at him, doubling him over with a blow to his stomach. His face displayed his shock at her attack as she kicked his legs out from under him. He fell to the ground and she would have gone after him again if it hadn’t been for the terrifyingly familiar arms that wrapped around her waist, holding her back. She struggled furiously, tears coursing down her cheeks. “Let me go! I’m going to kill him!” she cried angrily. “Let go, let go!”
Lane had clambered to his feet, looking a little green. “Yeah, let her go, this is the first time she’s fought back in six years.” He gasped out. “Let her try to hit me again.”
“Let go!” She sobbed, no longer fighting. “Please let go.” Gibbs released her, cautiously, but she immediately launched herself at Lane again, and he had to drag her off him, pinning her arms to her sides as Lane gasped for breath on the floor. She clawed at his arms, trying to free herself, her eyes wild with fury and grief. “I’m going to kill him!” she swore, struggling. She let out a stream of furious words, and while Lane didn’t know the difference, Gibbs noticed that she was spouting some nasty curses in at least four different languages.
“Get out of here, Petty Officer, and I’m going to suggest that you don’t come back.” Ordered Gibbs.
“It’s her fault he’s dead, sir, she admitted it.” Wheezed Lane, getting to his feet.
“It’s not, it’s not!” Sobbed Sarai, finally exhausting her energy. Gibbs still held onto her, though, not believing in her stillness. “Please, God, it’s not!”
“You might as well have held the gun to his head! You’re a goddamned whore and a liar, and you killed your own husband!” Swore the young marine and he slapped her across the face.
“Hey!” exclaimed Gibbs. “Get out of here, Petty Officer, before I have to arrest you.”
“Bitch!” spat Lane at Sarai as he lurched out of the room. She let out a strangled scream of fury, wrenching herself away from Gibbs. She stood in the middle of the room, feeling suddenly helpless as she glared after the marine, then fell back on the bed, crying silently. Gibbs watched for a minute, waiting for her to calm down. Finally, she sat up, crossing her legs. “You should’ve let me kill him.” She said, emotionlessly. “It would’ve made the world a better place. You can sit down if you want.”
“Does that happen a lot, Mrs. Foster?”
“Not really. Usually he hits me and I just wait it out and leave. I guess I’m just stressed.”
Gibbs raised an eyebrow. “I’ve seen a lot of domestic violence cases, but I admit, not many of them involve someone being beaten by a family friend.”
Sarai just looked at him, blankly. “Your agent just left an hour ago, what can I help you with?”
Gibbs sat down on the edge of the bed, facing her. “We’ve looked into a few things, Mrs. Foster, and I wanted to ask you a few more questions. Clarify a couple of things.”
She sighed, rubbing the back of her head cautiously. “Sure.”
“How long have you and Lieutenant Foster been married?” he asked.
“A month. But we’ve been together for several years.”
“The other men from your husband’s unit that you met?”
“Uh, Flynn Hayes, Ben Marks, and Alec Carson.” She replied. “I’d met Alec a few days previously, he, uh, he pointed me down this way for a place to stay when I asked. A couple of months later, I ran into him and the rest of the guys at a bar while they were on a night out. Alec introduced me, and Tyler and I hit it off right away.”
Gibbs nodded, making a mental note to check in with the Foster’s friends about the story as well as about Kyra’s and Lane’s animosity. “And you work at the Archaeological Institute, right?” She nodded. Gibbs stood up, heading for the door. “Were you really going to kill him?” he asked, pausing.
She smiled grimly. “Maybe, but it wouldn’t have been on purpose. I‘m a good fighter and I might have just not stopped in time. I probably wouldn’t have, though. If I’m going to beat anyone to death, I’d rather it be the person who killed Tyler. I’m going to make sure they pay.
“Good. I’ll make sure we find who it is so you can do just that.” And with that, he left.
Sarai fell back onto the blankets again, dangling her legs over the side of the bed. She heard a car door shut and a short greeting. “Come on in, Cathy!” she called, wrapping her arms protectively around her stomach.
Cathy and Genevieve stepped into her room, sitting down on either side of her. Gen put a hand on her shoulder, soothingly. “I’m so sorry, honey, are you going to be okay?”
“I’m fine.” Replied Sarai tiredly, but just then her two friends noticed the marks over her eye and cheek.
“What the hell, Kyra!” exclaimed Gen.
“Did Tyler do that?” Cathy bristled at the idea of Sarai’s husband hitting her.
“No, Lane did.” She replied, rubbing her face with her hands. “He came in a little while ago, mad as hell.”
“And they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Snorted Cathy. “That man’s had it out for you since the day he met you.”
“Yup.” Sarai didn’t sound much bothered by the fact, and Gen and Cathy realized for the first time just how true the statement was.
“So how’re you doing with all this?” asked Gen, changing the subject. “All this stress and horror is going to be hard on the baby.”
Sarai sighed, dropping her hands to her sides. “I don’t bloody know.” She cried, miserably. “I hate this! I can’t stand it! I’m going to go insane just sitting here trying to protect this baby while Tyler’s killer is walking around free. I want to do something! I want to…” she trailed off, just giving up.
Cathy rubbed her arm. “It’s okay, we know.” She said gently. “We know.”



“Hey Boss, Mrs. Foster wants to know when she can come in to see her husband’s body.” Said Tony, covering the mouthpiece on the phone.
“Anytime, Ducky’s finished the autopsy. I was just about to go see him.” Replied Gibbs, not looking up.”
“You can come in anytime.” Said Tony kindly into the phone. “Just go ahead and come in and we’ll get you an escort down to Autopsy…No problem. Bye.” He hung up, and looked up to speak to Gibbs, but the man was already gone.



“How did he die, Duck?” Demanded Gibbs as he strode into the room.
“Ah, in this case, the answer was quite simple and straightforward.” Answered the Englishman. “This bullet wound on his leg would have incapacitated him, but wouldn’t have been fatal, and these stab wounds were made post-mortem. That, of course, leaves only the one wound, and since his toxicology report was cleaner than the day he was born, I’m perfectly confidant saying that the shot to his brain killed the young lieutenant.” Gibbs raised an eyebrow at the rambling way of saying a simple thing. “What is not straightforward is what these wounds across the young man’s stomach mean.” Continued Ducky, puzzled. “I’ve never seen anything like it, but I have the feeling these letters will mean something to someone.” Ducky picked up Tyler’s hand, gesturing to the knuckles. “There are no defensive wounds, so evidently he didn’t have time to fight his attacker. I noticed a wedding ring, but he’s quite young.”
“Just married.” Said Gibbs. “Widow’s on her way here. She wants to see the body.”
Ducky raised his eyebrows. “She’s a brave young woman. I hear that the Lieutenant was found in Suicide Alley.” Said Ducky mysteriously.
Gibbs nodded. “Yeah, do you know it?”
“Know it? It fascinates me, especially considering it involves a woman we all know very well. Two people were found stabbed in that alley. One, the Director’s father, was found dead with a note to her on the body. You should not have interfered, it read. The other, a teenaged Jane Doe, was still alive, when they were discovered, but died soon after being operated on. Her body was cremated by a fire in the hospital morgue before an autopsy could be done or an identification made, but the fact that she was found half-naked suggested that she’d been raped. Sixteen years later, the killer has not been found, nor has any mysterious aspect of the crime been cleared away. While Jasper Sheppard was buried with honours, the girl who was murdered with him has never even been identified. No one was reported missing who matched her description, and no trace of her past has been discovered.” Finished Ducky with the air of someone finishing a ghost story.
Both men looked up when the glass doors opened. McGee stuck his head in. “Gibbs, Mrs. Foster is here.” He said, then disappeared.
Sarai stepped into the room carefully, arms around her stomach. They’d been there a lot in the last few days, the slender arms attempting to protect the fragile child in her womb from the stress, grief, and reporters that attacked the young woman at every turn. Cathy came behind her, a frequent and silent shadow alongside the young widow. “Mrs. Foster, this is Doctor Mallard, our ME. He performed the autopsy on your husband.
Sarai smiled, softly, holding out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Doctor Mallard. And this is Cathy Reynolds.” She said, her voice low and musical, although he could detect a hint of pain in it.
Ducky shook both of their hands. “The pleasure is mine, my dear, and please call me Ducky.”
“Ducky.” She smiled wider. “Then you must call me Kyra.” She replied, easily.
“What a lovely name. I knew a woman by the name of Kyra once. She was quite the wild child.” He chuckled.
She laughed. “I assure, you Ducky, I’m no wild child, although perhaps I was many years ago.” She added thoughtfully. Her eyes moved to the now cloth covered body on the table. “Is that Tyler?” she asked quietly.
“Yes. It may be a bit of a shock to you to see him.” Cautioned Ducky.
She nodded. “I expect it will be, but I have to do it.” She stepped up to the table and lifted the cloth off his head. She gave a little gasp and her hand flew to her mouth at the sight of the bullet wound through his forehead. She closed her eyes briefly, fingers tightening on the metal table. She took a deep breath and pulled the sheet back farther, exposing his stomach, knowing what she would find, but praying not to. She stumbled back in fear, and Cathy hurried forward to hold her steady. The older woman gave a cry at the sight of the letters carved into the young man’s skin, and Sarai buried her head in Cathy’s shoulder, shaking.
Cathy glared at Ducky and Gibbs as if they’d made Sarai come to see her husband’s body, then turned back to the younger woman. “Easy girl, easy.” She said gently, but Sarai was too terrified by her initials scored onto a man’s body to be calmed. Ducky hurried to recover the body, but the damage had been done.
A spur of pain bolted through Sarai’s body, and she began to bleed, breathing laboured. Cathy whirled around, instantly in command. “She’s miscarrying. We need to get her to a hospital.”



Sarai lay curled up tightly in the hospital bed, tears on her cheeks as her arm hung over her now empty womb. She reached over to the phone by her bed and dialed, still crying. “Sheppard.”
“Hey, Jen.” She said quietly.
“Sarai! Are you alright?”
“Just tired.” Replied Sarai. She sighed. “No, I’m not alright. I don’t know what to do. It’s not like me, Jen, to just sit around and do nothing when something like this happens.”
“I know, it wasn’t like me either. Agent Gibbs and his team are the best that I have, and they’ll figure this out for you. You just need to stay low and take care of yourself. I’ll call you with an update as soon as there is one.” Jen hung up, and Sarai set the phone back on its stand gently.
She rolled onto her side and lay still, waiting. Sooner or later, something would happen, and when it did, she had to be able to fight for her life. She would have to protect herself from one side or the other.



Gibbs had taken Lance Corporal Marks, Petty Officer Hayes, and PFC Carson aside to talk to them. “Can you think of anyone who might have wanted to hurt Lieutenant Foster?”
Flynn shrugged. “He was a bit of a player, maybe a few of the ladies he’s broken up with? But I don’t think any of them would want to kill him, just Kyra.”
“You mean the other women would want to kill Kyra, or Kyra wanted to kill her husband?” clarified Tony.
“Every now and then Kyra and Tyler would run into an ex of his who would threaten Kyra, but I don’t think any of them really meant it.” Explained Ben.
“What about Mrs. Foster?” asked Gibbs. “Do you have any reason to think that she might have killed her husband?”
Alec shook his head vehemently. “Absolutely not sir. Kyra wouldn’t hurt anyone, not even Lane, but especially not Tyler.”
“Not even Lane?” asked Tony, confused.
The three men fidgeted, a little uncomfortable. Finally, Ben spoke up. “Lane was a bit wild over her. I’ve never been sure if he was angry that she’d chosen Ty over him or if he really thought she was that bad, but he never had a good word to say about her. He even tried to take a swing at her a few times, and believe me, whenever he did, she got the hell out like a greyhound. I’ve never seen anyone move that fast.”
“But she was never anything but kind to him.” Added Flynn. “She’s the only reason that Tyler put up with him for as long as he did. She was always the one to reconcile them after a fight. She’s an incredible woman, that one. I’ve never met someone so in control of herself. No one ever really knew how she felt about Lane, or how she put up with him for the last six years.”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure she won’t put up with him anymore.” Said Gibbs absently, looking to start a reaction. “And you can be sure that she wouldn’t mind if he’d been the one who died instead of Lieutenant Foster.”
“What do you mean, sir?” asked Flynn, puzzled.
“He threw a couple of punches at her yesterday, and I had to pull her off him to keep her from beating him to death.” Replied Gibbs, coolly.
Alec swore. “I knew he’d go too far some day.” He muttered, looking shocked and upset.
“Parker was saying it was her fault Foster was dead. Do you think maybe the two of them might have mixed it up a little over her and Parker just went crazy?” asked Gibbs, poking.
“No. No matter how much Lane hates Kyra, he only ever took it out on her, not Tyler.” Declared Alec confidently. “If it was Kyra who was dead, though, he’d be the first person I’d suspect.”
“Thanks. You can go back to your stations now, but if we need anything else, we’ll be in touch.” Gibbs and Tony turned and headed out. As they got in the car, Gibbs glanced at Tony. “Anything about that strike you as odd?” he asked, pointedly.
Tony nodded. “Lieutenant Foster didn’t have any enemies, but his wife had plenty. Maybe the motive of the murder didn’t have anything to do with Foster.”
“Maybe the killer just wanted to scare his wife.” Agreed Gibbs, speeding off towards the hospital.



Sarai was sitting up and talking with Cathy when they arrived. She looked up as the sliding glass doors opened. Tony stayed by the door, while Gibbs came and sat down opposite of Cathy. “Do you have any enemies, Mrs. Foster?”
Cathy snorted, derisively, but, at a look from Sarai, held her tongue. “A few. Some of Tyler’s exes, a few professional rivals, even a couple of personal conflicts.” She replied, surprised. Both she and Gibbs remembered the look of fury on Lane’s face as he stormed out of her house. “Why?”
“Just covering all of our bases. We were wondering if those letters on your husband’s body mean anything to you.” He said, coming straight to the point.
“Of course they don’t!” exclaimed Cathy. “What are you suggesting, that something in Kyra’s life caused this?”
“She was fairly upset, seeing them.” Observed Gibbs.
“Wouldn’t you be if you saw that someone had carved a signature into a man’s body?” demanded Cathy. “The letters don’t mean anything to her.”
Sarai hadn’t spoken a word yet, and Gibbs ignored the older woman, watching the widow carefully. “Why don’t you go get some lunch, Cathy.” Suggested Sarai quietly.
Cathy was scandalized. “Kyra! You can’t mean that you actually know something! Don’t say anything without a lawyer!”
“Go, Cathy.” Said Sarai more firmly. “You don’t need to be here, I can take care of myself.” Cathy pursed her lips, but obeyed, and as soon as the door closed behind her, Sarai swung her legs over the edge of the hospital bed, stumbling slightly as she stood. Gibbs caught her by the elbow, steadying her. She smiled gratefully and brushed her hair behind her ears. “They’re my initials.” She told the two men, not meeting either of their eyes.
“Kyra Davis?” asked Tony, raising an eyebrow. “SRS doesn’t really equal Kyra Davis or Kyra Foster.”
“Who said anything about it being those initials?” she shot back. She turned her back to them and raised the hem of her shirt just enough to expose her tattoo.
Gibbs froze, his mind flashing back to the night he’d first seen the tangle of rose vines, pure white blossoms sprinkled over it. He remembered Razi gasping under his touches, holding tightly to him. He stood up abruptly. “What the hell are you playing at, Raz?” he demanded, angrily.
Tony glanced up at his boss, confused at the sudden change. Sarai flushed, trying to control her frustration. “What do I have left to play for, Jethro?” she asked, eyes desperate.
“Where the hell did you learn that name anyway?” he demanded, ignoring her plea.
Her lower lip trembled like she was about to cry, and she didn’t look at him. “Russia.” She replied, licking her lips nervously. She pulled the contacts out of her eyes, dropping them into the trash. “I had....My orders were to follow and help. I was there to…to do what had to be done to keep the team safe. Whatever you chose to believe, you and I were never enemies. You’ve plenty of those already.” She added wryly.
Gibbs rolled his eyes. “Yes, it’s been established that I’m a bastard.” He said sarcastically. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not lying through your teeth.”
Just then, Ziva appeared in the doorway, a grim expression on her face. “She’s not lying, Gibbs, and we’ve got bigger problems on our hands then just a retired spook.”
Sarai bristled, instinctively taking offense to being dismissed as ‘just a retired spook’. There was nothing ‘just’ or ‘retired’ about her! “I am not….”
But Ziva cut her off. “Someone left a note at the crime scene. It’s a little bit more than a signature this time.” She handed her boss the envelope, and there was something in her eyes that frightened everyone in the room.
Gibbs pulled a photo out of the envelope, glancing it over and then looking at the back. “Sacramento killed them all.” He read, puzzled. He passed the photo to Sarai who took it, hand shaking.
“Oh, sweet Jesus!” Her hand flew to her mouth. Her eye flashed to Ziva who refused to look at her. “Dear God, Papí’s going to kill me.” She murmured.
“I’m sure you’re all enjoying the reunion, but I have no idea what’s going on.” Tony reminded them.
“And you don’t need to, DiNozzo.” Said Gibbs sharply.
Sarai waved her hand, still watching Ziva. “No, no, they should all know. Especially you, Mija.” Only Gibbs and Ziva recognized the affection in the connotated pet name, my daughter, and Gibbs wondered if she meant it literally or figuratively. “I never thought Michael would resort to this.”
Ziva whirled in the other woman, furious. “Don’t try to pass this off on him!” she hissed. “My father was wrong about Ari, he could be wrong about you!”
“I’m not Ari, Ziva!” exclaimed Sarai. “You know I’m not! And you know that I’m right, no matter how much you hate it.”
“He had access to case files and his father’s accounts.” She agreed, annoyed. “And my father says he’s in the area. But you do realize what reopening this case will do?”
“Not even I have enough sway to make this decision.” Replied Sarai, shaking her head.
“How much do you have?” asked Gibbs. “Because if this cryptic conversation means what I think it does, we’re going to need all the help we can get.”
Ziva looked Sarai in the eyes for the first time since her father had called. “He’s given you full clearance.” She said quietly. “They both agree that your judgment will be sufficient. You can say and do what you want.”
Sarai smiled bitterly. “They should know better.”

Being pressed so close to him in the elevator was killing her, and she wondered if crowding his whole team and her into the tiny box was his way of pushing her buttons. The doors slid open, and she was about to follow Ziva, Tony, and McGee into the squad-room when he caught her by the arm and held her back. The doors closed in front of her and she turned slowly. No, this was going to be the button-pushing moment. She forced herself to stay in control as he stepped so close to her that they were almost touching. There was a reason his tactics worked. Other men sensed the alpha-male behaviour and knew they couldn’t compete, and women felt the nearly irresistible urge to submit. “If you’re leading us on some wild goose chase, Raz,” he threatened. “Murder charges will be the least of your worries.”
“I’m no worse a killer than you or Ziva.” She said hoarsely. “I’m just less likely to be caught.”
“That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have killed Foster. He might have blown your cover, he might have been threatening you, there are still a thousand good motives for you, but I’ll believe you for now.”
Sarai leaned up and kissed him hard, and he was too surprised to react. She pulled back, apologetically. “You’re going to be furious with me, Jethro.” She whispered. “And for that I am truly sorry. I’m not so surprised now that I created something like Michael, but I hope you won’t feel the same way.” She reopened the doors and slipped out, Gibbs right behind her. Neither of them had so much as a hair out of place, and no matter how hard the team members looked, they couldn’t see any hint of the conversation in their boss or the woman they’d known as Kyra. “Abby and Ducky…” she began.
“On their way up.” Said McGee promptly.
Sarai nodded approvingly. “Jennifer…”
“Said to tell you that you’re in charge.” Finished Ziva.
“Does your team always finish other people’s sentences?” asked Sarai, eyebrow raised.
He shrugged. “I teach them to anticipate.” He replied calmly.
Abby and Ducky trotted into the squad-room and she set her features. “As you probably know by now, I’ve had many names over the years. Most of you know me as Kyra, Ziva knows me as Areille, and Gibbs,” she strode up to the plasma, clicking a few images on screen. “knows Razi. What you don’t know, is that, legally, I do not exist.” She turned to face the group, watching each of them carefully. “About fifteen years ago, an intelligence cell used me to send a warning. The most dangerous warning you can give someone.”
“Watch what happens to your family when you don’t back off.” Said Ziva, knowingly.
“Yes. Who could see their child half-dead and keep going?” asked Sarai softly. “I was lucky. I should’ve been dead, and for a while I wished I had died. But I had training, and I had a purpose. They’d made a bigger sacrifice than they’d planned. They were so worried about keeping my mother off their trial, they never considered who my father might be.” She laughed, a bite ringing in the sound.
Abby raised her hand. “Uh, are you allowed to give us names, because I’m getting really confused.” She said, her nose scrunched up.
Sarai smiled. “Ziva and I are half-sisters.” She replied, feeling a weight lift just saying it out loud. “I only know one of the cell members, Jacob Tehran. His son, Michael, Ziva, Tahlia, and I trained together as children, and Michael was rather bitter after we ran into each other in Sacramento. He was always very easily hurt.” She remembered sadly. “And he had plenty of reasons to feel bitter against me, after all, it was because of me that his father was dead, and I didn’t give a damn. After Jacob’s death, the cell went underground, but it resurfaces every now and then like when that picture was taken. I’ve been perfectly happy to let them think I’m dead, but Michael’s not likely to let that happen.”
“We’re just lucky he hasn’t decided to sell your information off yet.” Said Jen, striding into the squad-room.
Sarai dipped her head respectfully. “Everyone,” she was addressing the whole group, but her eyes were focused on Gibbs and when he saw the two women side by side, he understood what she’d meant in the elevator. “Meet my mother.”



Abby toppled off Tony’s desk, taking the Italian with her, and McGee looked like he’d swallowed hot sauce. Sarai tore her eyes away from Gibbs and simply stared at her hands. “That’s all I’ve got.” She said anxiously. “The rest of it should be in the Alley’s case file and Tahlia’s and my notes. You don’t need me, and you’re not going to want me around the evidence, so I’m going home.”
Ziva’s head snapped up. “The hell you are!” she exclaimed. “You’re in protective custody, you’ll stay with one of us until you’re safe.”
“I’m no fool. I won’t be walking around unprotected.” Laughed her sister carelessly.
Jen shook her head. “Ziva’s right, Raz, you should stay with someone for now.”
Automatically, Tony raised his hand. “I’ve got room.”
“Thank you Agent DiNozzo.” Sarai smiled. “I’ll take you up on that.”
She could feel Gibbs’ stormy gaze turn on her, and her spine prickled as Tony grinned at her, triumphantly. Abby raised her hand, cautiously, and Ducky walked over to Gibbs’ desk where the two of them instantly began conversing in whispers, and for once Sarai didn’t listen in. “Um, Madam Director’s daughter, if you’re an agent, how did you get a job with one of the best forensic archaeologists in the DC area?” asked the Goth, trying to sound respectful instead of confused.
“Call me Sarai, and I’ve always loved chemistry. It’s…rather a specialty.” She’d certainly made it so in the last few years.
The Director rolled her eyes. “You did blow up that damn morgue, didn’t you?”
Sarai looked offended. “Oh, so I should’ve let them go looking for a mysteriously vanished corpse then. I’m sure that wouldn’t have found its way back to Jacob.”
“Watch her like a hawk, Tony, and that’s not as her mother, it’s from experience.”



Sarai woke up gasping for air, her hand pressed to her mouth to hold in the scream. She buried her face in the arm of the couch, giving her racing heart a chance to slow down before she got up. She grabbed her glass off the end table as she headed into Tony’s small kitchen, holding it under the tap. She felt his presence before she heard him. “I’m sorry if I woke you, Tony.” She murmured.
Tony shrugged. “Never really fell asleep. Kind of hard to when I’m on duty, even this late at night.”
She nodded, shutting off the water and turning to face him. “Jethro’s trained you well, hmm?”
“I’ve been here the longest, so I’ve had a bit more time.” He agreed. “But I still feel like I haven’t made any progress. He’s always got something to critique.”
“He likes you.” Observed Sarai. “But he knows he doesn’t have to look after you or protect you anymore. When he quit, he knew you could handle the team, but he was always ready in case you called to say you needed him. You’re like a son to him.”
Tony considered this idea, and smiled “Yeah, maybe you’re right. So how do you two know each other? It’s usually only his exes that call him Jethro, with the exception of Ducky.”
She snorted. “You figured that out, huh?” she thought for a moment. “In an indirect way, I guess he was my teacher as well. He saw me in assignment once, and after that we just kept running into each other. It was a workout to keep my cover around him, you know? Probably the hardest assignment I’ve ever had was Russia. Jen had me covering the team’s tracks the whole way, and it only took him two weeks to ID me. I had to change my whole approach to make sure he aimed his bullets at the enemy team instead of me when the time came. It almost cost them, but it definitely cost me. I was eighteen.” She added quietly.
Tony nodded. “The Director plays matchmaker a lot, doesn’t she? Only she usually doesn’t realize she’s done it.” He said, offering his own story in return for being trusted with hers. “Jeanne Benoit. The first woman I ever really fell in love with, and I was undercover trying to put her father behind bars for life. I hurt her, pretty badly, but all I’d wanted for a long time was to be with her. Ziva was really annoyed with me for a while there. Thought I had some weird disease that I was hiding from her.”
A knowing look came into her eyes. “I’m going to give you a piece of advice. AS a woman and as Ziva’s sister. Stop breaking both your hearts.”
Tony rubbed the back of his head. “Then can I give you some as well?” he asked, not sure if he was grateful to her for saying out loud what he’d already known. She tipped her head to the side, listening. “If you want him back, you’ve got to make him believe that you’re stronger than him, emotionally, that he can’t hurt you.”
“He won’t have me, Tony.” She said quietly. “Jethro was done with me a long time ago, and that’s not going to change.”
“What makes you so sure?”
She thought for a moment before answering. “How much respect would you have for some nameless woman who came up to you in a bar and told you that you could sleep with her, Tony?” she asked, watching him carefully as she leaned against the counter.
“It depends.” He replied slowly.
“On what?”
“On why she’d drunk enough to say it in the first place.”
Sarai paled, her hands twitching towards her stomach before she reminded herself that her baby was no longer there, as usual. “My sister was murdered saving my life. That’s not something I could forgive myself for.”
“So that’s why you were drunk?” She nodded. “So where’d you find Gibbs?”
She gave a small laugh. “I wasn’t drunk when I went to him, Tony, just when I realized that I wanted to. Why the hell am I even telling you this?”
“Because you need to tell somebody, and I’m all you have right now.” He told her firmly. “Besides, who am I going to tell?”
“Everyone, based on your track record.”
He shook his head. “Not about this. You trusted me enough to talk to me, and I may have a big mouth, but I know where the boundaries are. I won’t say a word.”
Sarai took a deep breath. He was right, she had no one else to talk to, and they’d both shared something major for them. “I made a mistake. Neither of us were drunk, but we weren’t sober either. It had been eight years since…” She couldn’t force out the word rape. “Since I’d almost died, and when I heard him say my name, my real name, it sucked me back. I felt like it was happening all over again.” She paused, controlling her breathing. “I froze. I couldn’t remember how to breathe, let alone how to fight, and Tahlia had to come to my rescue. She wasn’t one hundred percent either, and it only took one hit to bring her down. He’d stabbed her right through the chest.” And she was back in the moment, speaking like she was in a trance, Tahlia’s dying breath being used to comfort her. “I couldn’t ever let Ziva find out that it was my fault, so I convinced our father to classify her death above her clearance. He didn’t argue, thought since it involved my case, it should be impossible to access anyway.” She shook herself back into the present. “So I left Israel and I haven’t been back. I did a lot of drinking that first few weeks, but when I realized what it was letting me think, I stopped, wouldn’t touch alcohol, but it wouldn’t go away.” Tony listened, fascinated by her words, a little shocked that his grumpy boss had managed to do this to a woman like Sarai. “I kept remembering Russia mostly. And finally I couldn’t take it anymore and I told myself that I’d go and talk to him, just talk, see what I could learn, you know?” Her brow furrowed, as if even now she couldn’t believe what she’d done. “I didn’t expect to act like such a love-struck little whore.” She said bitterly. “I’m not an ex, I’m just the stupid little spy who thought that I could make Leroy Jethro Gibbs love me. There was nothing, but he’ll never be able to look at me again without remembering what I said that night.”
Even Tony himself was surprised by what he did next. He went up to Sarai and hugged her, running his hand along her back soothingly. And for the second time in a week, she cried.



When Tony and Sarai arrived back at NCIS the next morning, Gibbs and Ziva both noticed the new closeness between protector and protected, both attributed it to the wrong thing, and both struggled with their jealousy. Tony, as always, was oblivious to Ziva’s irritation whenever she saw him with her sister, and chalked up Gibbs’ extra grumpiness to having to work with the Director’s daughter. Sarai noticed, and she smiled to herself, not displeased with the idea of forcing Ziva and Gibbs to admit their feelings, so she would scoot her chair closer to Tony’s and lean over him to see his computer screen, and watch from the corner of her eye as two sets of knuckles tightened on their mouse.
When she got up to use the restroom, Gibbs got up as well, following her. The second they were out of sight of the bull-pen, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a corner of the hallway. “What are you doing?” he growled. “I won’t have you flirting with my agents and keeping them off their game.”
“I’m doing no such thing.” She said calmly. “Tony’s a good man, and I like talking to him. That’s all. You’ve taught them well Jethro, and they’re so connected to each other. Like they have their own little family, and there’s no place left for me in it.” There was a hint of fear in her eyes when she said it. She didn’t want to be alone again, not after so long.
“Well make sure you don’t give DiNozzo any ideas.” He replied gruffly. “He’s a good agent except when he’s got a woman on his mind. You’re not here to start a family, Raz, you’re here so that we can find who killed your husband and you can get back to your life of patriotism.” He saw how his words hurt her, but he ignored the small flash of guilt in his chest and walked away, leaving her to fall apart on her own. She whirled around and strode down the stairs, not feeling like taking the elevator.
She went all the way down to Autopsy where Palmer and Ducky were cleaning up after an autopsy. She stood, feeling helpless, in the doorway, and when Ducky saw her, he turned to Palmer. “Why don’t you take these to Abby, Mr. Palmer.” He said authoritatively, and Palmer nodded, grinning at Sarai before he left. “What can I do for you, my dear?” asked Ducky as the doors hissed closed.
“I don’t know.” She said, despairingly. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Ducky. I haven’t felt like this since…”
“Since you were attacked?” he asked, pulling off his gloves and dropping them in the trash. She glanced at him sharply. “Your case is one of the most mysterious I’ve ever seen pass through NCIS.” Explained Ducky. “I’ve taken the liberty of trying to solve it more than once. It seems there’s a very good reason that I never could.”
“So you know.” She said quietly. “You understand why this hurts so much. Me, trained by Mossad and Jennifer Sheppard since I could walk, and I couldn’t defend myself against one man, nor could I protect the ones I loved from what happened. First I miscarried the baby he’d gotten off me, then I watched my parents worry and fuss and try to comfort me. There was nothing they could say, they didn’t know what to do with me, so they let me throw myself into training. I didn’t want it to happen again. But it’s all useless, because at the crucial moment, I freeze and forget everything I’ve taught myself and my baby sister pays the price. Now my husband, and the next on his list are going to be my mother and my other sister. I should be able to do something!”
“You said it yourself, Sarai, there’s nothing. There is nothing that you can do or say that will ever make this go away, but you can fight it, and you have fought it. You’re an inspiration to victims everywhere.” The Englishman was adamant, standing firm in front of her as he spoke, not letting her shrink away from his pep talk. “You want to know what you should do? Don’t let the bastard do this to you. Don’t take it sitting down. Show him that you can’t be broken and that you’ll win. That’s what you do!” he declared fiercely.
Sarai kissed his cheek gently. “Thank you, Ducky.” She whispered, and he saw determination form in her expression.
“My pleasure. Now, why don’t you sit down and I’ll tell you a story I think you’ll like.” He walked over to his computer, talking over his shoulder the whole while, and Sarai had to smile. This was why she’d come to Ducky, he was such a character.



Abby walked into Autopsy and found Sarai sitting on a metal table, giggling as she listened to one of Ducky’s rambling anecdotes. She sat down next to the woman and the two of them waited for Ducky to lose himself in his tale again before she spoke. “You trying to make Ziva jealous or Gibbs?” she asked in a low voice.
Sarai smiled. The Goth was more attuned to her ‘family’ then she was given credit for. “Depends. Why are you asking?”
“Because I think that it’s about time Miss Mossad and Signor Italiano stopped living in denial, and that Gibbs shouldn’t have to go home to an empty house.” Replied Abby confidently. “And I think you agree, and that’s why you’re pretending to flirt with Tony. What I’m wondering is what happened that he doesn’t recognize flirtation when it stares him in the face.”
“He saw me cry.” She answered. Admitting to the truth felt so much better than coming up with another lie.
Abby nodded, understanding. “Tony’s a good guy.” She murmured fondly. “So, if you don’t mind, I have an idea.”
Sarai perked up, curious. “I’m listening.”

The next few days, Gibbs watched with gritted teeth as Sarai’s flirting kicked up a notch, and he could hardly keep himself from dragging her away from Tony and making her forget the younger agent’s name. Younger. That was probably it. Back when she’d been in her twenties, older might have been exciting, but maybe she was hoping for someone closer to her own age now that she’d broken thirty. Maybe it would be better to let her go. But then he saw Ziva’s face across from her sister and partner and a grin broke across his face. She wasn’t flirting with Tony because she liked him, she was trying to make her sister jealous enough to make a move and claim what was hers. Brava Raz, he thought to himself. It’s about time those two dealt with the underlying emotions. Maybe they wouldn’t drive him so crazy once they were a couple.



Ziva glared balefully at her sister who was hanging off Tony’s every word. She wanted to demand what Sarai was doing, make it painfully clear that Tony was hers. But he wasn’t. Ziva was brave enough to stand tall against the most dangerous enemies, but she couldn’t stick her neck out to tell Tony how she felt. Sarai was perfectly entitled to stake a claim. But how could she? She sighed, and forced her gaze away from them. It fell, instead, on Gibbs and she was surprised to see a smile on his face and laughter in his eyes. What did he find so funny?



It annoyed Sarai to see the smile on Gibbs’ face. He’d been perfectly riled a minute earlier, so what had happened? She glanced at Ziva and swore silently. Her sister’s jealousy was so clearly written on her face that if Tony happened to look up, even he would notice. And Gibbs was better than Tony, so he’d already figured out what was going on. Well what the hell was she supposed to do with him now? Maybe Abby would have a better plan.



Abby and McGee were sitting in front of her computer, watching, amused, through a small video feed that Sarai had on her as Abby’s master plan unfolded. Ziva was hooked, line and sinker, and Tony still had no idea what was happening, but Gibbs had clearly figured out what Sarai was doing, so there would have to be some changes made. McGee snickered as Ziva’s head disappeared behind her computer screen. Palmer and Ducky came up behind Abby and McGee, setting down the snacks they’d grabbed from the vending machines. Palmer handed Abby a fresh Caf-Pow. “What’d we miss?”



Sarai tugged her hair tie out, dragging her fingers through her black hair to return it to its normal state. She snapped the video-barrette out of her hair and slipped it into her pocket as she climbed the stairs to the Director’s floor. Gibbs appeared by her side and she found herself being herded away from her mother’s office and into an empty conference room. He closed the door firmly behind them, just watching her for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, injured pride masked by his usual gruffness. “What difference would it have made who your parents are?”
She looked down, ashamed, and answered with a question of her own. “What chance have I ever stood with you?” her voice was so soft that he could hardly hear it. “Why should you give a damn about me? I didn’t want to give you any more reasons to push me away.”
“I’m not the one who pushed away, Raz, that was you.” Said Gibbs, itching to touch the black curtain and see if it was still as soft as he remembered. “You think I wouldn’t want you?”
She shrugged, dropping down onto the table in the room. Not paying attention as he walked up to her. “I guess you wanted me, but that’s not what I wanted. Do you remember when I finally lost you in Russia?”
“Yeah, I always wondered why you ran off like that.” he said thoughtfully.
“Because I knew that if I let you reach me,” she swallowed. “It would turn out just the way it did. You’re almost a decade older than me, but I could never forget that you’d watched me murder someone in cold blood and then let me walk away from you just weeks later, that you came by our house when Grandperé died, that you were…I was eighteen and I was bloody in love with you.” She growled, as if she were annoyed by the fact. “So I ran away. But when Tahlia died, I went out of my mind.”
He did reach out now, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, and she instinctively leaned into the touch. “I’m sorry for what I did.” He told her gently, not realizing that she would take it a different way.
Tears threatened her, and her eyes burned with the salty pools behind them. She jerked away from him, lips trembling. “But we’re going to do it again, aren’t we?” she mimicked, bitterly. “You weren’t sorry then, and that’s what I was left with. On top of everything else, I looked in the mirror every morning and knew that I was no better than some high class whore. Oh, but you were perfectly fine with it, it didn’t mean a damn thing to you. Just me. It’s always going to be just me. I should’ve known better than to fall in love, with you or with Tyler. It’s all the same in the end, isn’t it? Me alone with my goddamned job. That’s what I was born for, just to be a chess piece in the game of war, so why the hell should I get anything out of my life when everyone around me is perfectly happy to leave things as they are?” She was horrified to discover that with the end of her rant came more tears, but she was helpless to stop them so she just let them come, not caring that he held her close, petting her hair soothingly, or that she was losing the barriers that had protected her for so long.
She clung to him, feeling like a child, and when he kissed her, maybe she couldn’t breathe, but at least the tears stopped. She couldn’t resist him, she’d never been able to, and this was no exception. Her lips parted and she was drowning in him, never wanting to see the surface again. Time hadn’t helped her recover, it had made her love him that much more. Her soft moan of pleasure brought them both tumbling back to reality, but Gibbs didn’t let go of her, too relieved to have her back in his arms. “I meant I’m sorry I took advantage of you. But what the hell was I supposed to do, Raz? You can’t just walk into a man’s house and kiss him like that and expect him to keep his head.”
She smiled softly. “Somehow, I don’t think I ever did. I told you I went a little crazy when Tahlia died. That night was the last of my insanity. I left and everything made sense again, except for one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You. I couldn’t figure out where you fit into everything and why I cared whether you did or not. But I figured that out too, and then it was just me doing what I’d always done. The only difference was that I couldn’t make myself cold anymore. You’ve no idea how much that hurt.”
“I think what you call insanity was what most people would call common sense. Walking away from the thing that was destroying you piece by piece.” He frowned, annoyed that she could only let herself love him when she was going crazy. “You should have done it the day you reached the age of majority.”
“I always loved my work.” She laughed. “You should have seen Ziva and Tahlia and I whenever we lost an agent. Every loss made us that much more determined. And when it was Tahlia we were burying, Ziva threw herself so far into her work that it took our father betraying her with Ari to make her let it go. I was never that strong. My response to everything was to run, it has been for as long as I can remember. Maybe it wouldn’t have been if….” She closed her eyes. It was one thing with sweet old Ducky who already knew, but to admit her shame to Jethro, that took so much more than she had. “If things had gone differently.” She sighed, separating their bodies. “Jen’s going to send out a search party if I’m not in her office soon.”
“You’ll never stand up to your parents, will you?” asked Gibbs, curiously as he released her.
She shook her head. “Not in this lifetime.”



“What have we got?” asked Sarai, staring at the plasma from Gibbs’ desk. No one was sure where Gibbs was or how she dared to sit there, but they figured it was better not to ask. “We know who, we know why, but there’s no way in hell we can prove it.”
“He hasn’t made a move since the letter.” Said McGee. They’d been keeping an eye on the Alley and the friends Sarai had made in her new life. “But why would he come all the way from Israel just to do some minor damage?” he winced, feeling three sets of eyes turn on him, and realizing that his partners thought the damage had been anything but minor.
“Watch it Probie.” Warned Tony.
“No, Tim’s right.” Commented Sarai, surprising everyone. “Michael could have done much worse. He could’ve turned me in, and everything would’ve come out to the world, Jen would lose her job, and I would have to serve a prison term and I would be useless in the game of war. Professionally, that’s the worst thing he could do, and he hasn’t touched it.”
“He made it personal.” Realized Ziva.
“Everything he’s done has centred around hurting you emotionally.” Agreed Tony. The proof that he was succeeding lay where no one but he had the privilege of seeing. She woke up crying every night from her nightmares, and he was beginning to feel very protective of her, pouncing on anyone who upset her. “So what’s left for him to do?”
Sarai closed her eyes, leaning back in Gibbs’ chair. “Nothing, as long as I’m in hiding.” She replied bitterly. “He can’t do a damn thing unless he’s looking me in the eyes when he does it.”
Ziva straightened. “Don’t even think it!” she warned. No matter how many times she’d wanted to hate her sister, she’d never want her to die.
“It’s the only option.” Shrugged Sarai easily. “What’s the big deal? It’s what I’ve done all my life, why is this any different?”
Tony bristled, finally understanding what they were talking about, and even McGee was opposed to the idea. “We’re not going to use you as bait, Raz.” Declared Tony, and she was outnumbered. “You’re not up to it right now.”
The older Davíd’s hand flicked out and something flew across the squad-room. The three agents turned, stunned to see that her knife had embedded itself in the flimsy wall directly behind Ziva. Another few centimetres down and to the left and it would have had to go through the Mossad officer’s shoulder to get there. Sarai gestured to the blade, calmly. “Does that look like I’m not up to it, Tony?” she asked quietly. He glanced back at her. If this was her not at her best, how the hell could someone have caught her so off guard that her sister had been forced to save her?
Gibbs paused by the entrance, glancing at the knife in the wall and his team’s shocked expressions. “I think I’m going to have to have a talk with Jen about our metal detectors.” He observed.
“Don’t bother.” Sarai said, pushing herself to her feet and striding over. She pulled the knife out and handed it to him, obviously not worried about the removal of one weapon. “It’s not metal. I did mention I wasn’t going to be walking around unprotected, yes?” She sat down at the empty desk instead of Gibbs’ and Ziva frowned. The two sisters began to argue in Hebrew, growing more heated as they went on, and the men just stared, not sure what to make of it. Finally, Sarai said something that made Ziva huff with annoyance and the debate ended.
Ziva looked up to find everyone watching them, and rolled her eyes. “I told her she shouldn’t be sneaking weapons into NCIS. But she’s got a point. If Michael’s after her, he’ll be armed and she won’t be able to fight him on her own.” She explained. “Now, can we get back to the earlier conversation? You can’t put yourself out in the open as bait.”
“Why not?” demanded Sarai, exasperated.
“Yeah, why not?” mused Gibbs. They all looked at him and he continued. “He doesn’t seem to be making any moves without her on the streets, so we can conclude that his next move was going to involve them being face to face. That can’t happen if she’s in protective custody, and if we keep her there, then eventually he’ll go home and wait it out, but she won’t be safe. Our best shot is to send her back into the open, put a tail on her, and hope that he follows a pattern.”
“Thank you.” Sarai nodded to him gratefully. “So now that’s settled, I think I’m going to go pay a visit to my friends.”



Sarai knocked on Cathy’s door, and when it opened, she was surprised to see Genevieve standing there. The blonde gaped at her, then threw herself at her friend. “Kyra! Oh, you’re okay! We thought they’d arrested you, what happened? Are you okay?”
“I’ve had better days, I suppose.” She replied, startled by the lab tech’s enthusiastic response. “But I’m fine.” Genevieve ushered her inside, looking incredibly jumpy. Cathy hurried over and hugged Sarai, startling her again.
“Where’ve you been?” demanded Cathy. “I just get a call saying that you’re taking those vacation days you’ve built up and then neither of us hear from you again! It’s been almost three weeks!”
“I was staying with my parents.” Replied Sarai, sheepishly. “I didn’t realize you’d be so worried, or I’d have stayed at home.”
Genevieve looked surprised. “I didn’t know your parents were still alive.” She said curiously. “In fact, I didn’t even know you had family. You never talk about them.” Cathy shushed her, but Sarai just smiled.
“I don’t talk to them much, either.” She replied, regretfully. “I just figured it was the best thing to do.”
“So have they figured it out yet?” asked Cathy cautiously.
She shook her head. “No, but they’ve got some suspects. Not me anymore, thank God.”
“I never got to ask, what was that about? Cathy said something about letters on Tyler’s body, and about the police thinking they had something to do with you.”
“No, they just thought I might have an idea about what they are. You were getting a little protective, Cathy, and you’d promised not to.”
Cathy had the grace to blush. “I’m sorry, Kyra, I just didn’t like the implications. So are you going to be back to work soon?”
“No.” Admitted Sarai, licking her lips nervously. “I came to say goodbye. I’m going home, guys. Frankly, I never expected to be here this long anyway.”
“Why not? You belong here, this is where your friends are!” exclaimed Genevieve in dismay.
“Friends don’t outweigh family.” She said, thinking about Ziva and the family she’d created for herself at NCIS. “I’m sorry.”
“Well what am I supposed to tell the guy who came looking for you?” demanded Genevieve. “He was really annoyed that you weren’t there, said he’d come all the way from Tel Aviv to find you. It sounded really romantic.” She laughed, hoping to bring a smile to her friend’s face.
“You never said anything about that.” said Cathy curiously.
“Well right after he left, you called to say you thought Kyra had been arrested for murder, so I forgot until now.” Protested Genevieve.
“Genevieve, what did this man look like?” asked Sarai quietly.
“Um, dark, tall, I don’t know, I wasn’t paying much attention.”
“Did he leave a name?” she prompted.
“Yeah, he said, uh,” the blonde frowned, trying to remember. “Michael. He said you’d remember him and know how to reach him. That’s what I meant about it being romantic.”
“I don’t think she agrees with you, hon.” Realized Cathy as she watched the face of her employee and friend twist with pain before returning to a neutral, if paler, appearance.
“If there was one thing I’ve ever wanted in my life it was to never have to see a Tehran again.” Replied Sarai sharply. “But if I do, I’d rather it be here than back in Tel Aviv.”
“Is there something we’re missing here?” asked Genevieve cautiously.
“I move around a lot.” Was all she offered as an explanation. “So, I’m going to pick up my things and I’ll be out of here by morning.” She leaned in and kissed both of her friends on the cheek. “I’m glad I got to see you both before I left.”



“Did you catch all that, Ziv?” asked Sarai quietly as she strode through the dark streets of Virginia, ignoring the catcalls from the midnight citizens of the area.
“I got it.” Came Ziva’s voice through the ear bud. “How are you supposed to reach him?”
She smiled grimly, speeding up. “Where this all started of course. The Alley. Everyone has a pattern, Mija, and this is his.”

Standing inside the alley was like being sent through a time warp. Memories flashed in front of her, her grandfather’s body with his eyes warning her to run away lest his precious Raz end up the way he has, Jacob towered over her, the scent of blood overwhelmed her and suddenly, Jacob lashed out at her, and she stumbled backwards, breathing heavily. Arms closed around her waist, cradling her against him, and she almost cried to hear the ice in his familiar voice. “Welcome back to hell, Lela.”
He pushed her back against the brick wall, covering her mouth with his own, and she was too terrified to do anything. She could feel the blade against her skin, but knew that no one else would see it. It was a dark Virginia night, and they were hidden away in the shadows of the alley. If anyone saw them at all, they would see a couple probably too drunk to wait for a bed. He popped open the buttons on her shirt, laughing softly as he tied her hands behind her back. He stepped back to look at her, heated gaze taking in the sight of her, breathing hard and vulnerable, and he touched the scars that cut across her skin. “I didn’t picture it like this, Lela, the night you finally surrendered. Not until recently. Oh, I suppose I should have offered my condolences about our husband.” Said Michael dryly. She could tell that he was amused by the fury that appeared in her eyes.
“You son of bitch!” she spat, struggling against the knots he’d tied around her wrists, but he was good at what he did. “How could you?”
“Easy,” he replied lazily, yanking her up against him. “You didn’t care, so why should I? Of course, all that left me was the fact that it’s because of you that my father is dead. This is revenge, little spy.”
“Not so little anymore, am I, Michael? You couldn’t come after me on your own, you had to try to scare me to death first.” She threw at him. “At least I’m not a traitor to my country!”
He laughed at her, carefully scoping out each mark his father had left her with . “You think I am? No, my father deserved to die for being a traitor, but that’s not why I turned him in. No, I didn’t care about that. All I worried about was that he’d hurt beautiful sweet Areille. I would never associate myself with such scum as he did, no, his cell is dead, Mossad managed to round them all up years ago. But their records left me something to hurt you with, knowledge of what you’d always kept closest to you. I figured that if I could make you think the cell had resurfaced I could make you suffer and live in fear. Make one too many mistakes. I hired that moron to ‘ID’ you and Tahlia, but he wasn’t supposed to kill her. At least I found out there was someone you cared about.”
Sarai’s mind was screaming with anger and fear and more. “You put little Tahlia in the middle of your revenge?” she whispered, stunned. “You dare to say her name after what you did?”
“She chose to try to save you, it wasn’t my fault!” he declared, and his knife bit through her skin, reopening the wounds that should have killed her fifteen years earlier. She gasped in pain, tears welling in her eyes, but she bit her lip against the scream that threatened to wrench itself out. “If you want to blame anyone, blame yourself for creating me.” He watched, satisfied, as blood spilled over her stomach and moved up to the next wound. “I loved you, you know.” He told her, his voice unnaturally gentle. “I would have taken care of you and kept you safe. But you just couldn’t give me a chance, you were all ambition and pride, no emotion.”
“I loved you too, Michael.” She gasped. “The same way I loved Ziva and Tahlia. I wanted to protect you, with every bone in my body, I would have protected you three, even from myself. And I was a danger to you. None of you were ready for my world yet, but you would have been, and when you were I planned to hold you every time your heart broke, every time you lost faith in the world. But for me to be able to do that for you, you had to live!” She cried. “And how the hell could I keep you alive by bringing you with me? I was a killer by my tenth birthday, damnit! And when the four of us were together, all I saw was my family, and all I could do was shield you from what I’d become! And I did! When you heard the adults talking about enemies of the State of Israel and their past or future deaths, did you ever once think to yourself, Oh, Areille has to work again? No. None of you had to feel that horror and bloodlust until you were well into your grown years. Nineteen was your first kill, Michael, yes, I know.” She’d seen his look of surprise when she said that. “Tahlia never did, and Ziva’s first time wasn’t until she was twenty. I pushed you all away, but it wasn’t going to stay that way!”
“Like hell it wasn’t!” but he didn’t look so sure anymore. “You’re the best, Lela, and that means you can lie through your teeth to the death. If you a killer so young, it’s because you wanted to be.” She let out a hiss as he cut open another scar but refused to show how much it hurt. Her muscles were tight with the strain of hiding the pain, and inside she was wishing that she could die, just so that it would end. He smiled grimly, the tang of blood in the air enough to bring back his need for revenge. “Were you looking forward to being a mother?” he asked cruelly.
“God yes.” She murmured, unable to stop a few tears from escaping. “I wanted a second chance, but I haven’t been able to hold since…”
“You were pregnant when you arrived in Virginia, I hear.” He said casually, and when Sarai refused to answer, he said it for her. “You may be the best, but I was always a close second, wasn’t I? You were in the hospital in your fourth month for a miscarriage. An occupational hazard I wonder, or is there someone out there that you truly care for?”
She shook her head vehemently. Where were Gibbs’ agents? “It wasn’t my fault.”
“The pregnancy or the miscarriage? Because the way I heard it, you were drinking and that’s why you lost the baby.”
“Shut up!” she growled.
“So I finally found it, you’re weakness.” He dug the blade into the last scar, tearing it open violently. He would either leave her to die or he would kill her now. “You’re maternal, but you can’t have children.” He grinned, touching her hair with a blood stained hand. “Did you really love him, I wonder, or did you just want a baby to replace the one you lost? Maybe I did him a favour by killing him before he found out the truth.”
“Or maybe you just pissed off the woman who signs your paychecks.” Declared Gibbs. Him, Michelle, and Nikki stepping into the entrance of the alley. “Drop your weapon, and I’ll consider letting you live.” Michael grabbed Sarai and jerked her in front of him, the knife at her throat, and the trio of agents were dismayed to see how fast she was bleeding. The entire front of her body was soaked with blood, and she could barely stand.
“Drop your weapons or I’ll kill her.” Threatened the Israeli. He was too busy reassessing the situation to notice that Sarai’s shaking fingers were reaching for the waistline of her jeans, where the handle of a knife peeked out. “And I don’t believe any woman signs my paychecks.”
“Wrong, you bastard.” Rasped Sarai, weakly. “Director Davíd doesn’t have time to sign them all, so he has me do it instead. After all, what daughter can’t forge her father’s signature?” And she shoved the knife into him with what little strength she had left. He stumbled, dropping her, and she fainted as she hit the ground, three gunshots ringing in her ears.



Her eyes fluttered open, and all around her there was gleaming white. She turned her head and saw the two people she’d least expected to allow themselves to be seen in her hospital room. Her mother’s head had fallen back against the wall, and Gibbs’ was sunk onto his chest as they both slept in the room’s visitor chairs. She reached out and touched his knee softly, wanting to know that he forgave her for losing their child. He started, and blinked away sleep. “Are you alright, Raz?” he asked, taking her hand, and there was concern in his eyes. She smiled, not sure what to say, and he seemed to know, as always, what was left unsaid. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it.”
“I was so scared.” She whispered, her voice hoarse from disuse. “And all the while it was just him, no one else. I’ve been safe this whole time.”
His eyes darkened. “He almost killed you, how is that safe?”
“We had a plan, remember? Get a confession, then we take him down if we have to.” She reminded him. “If not for that, he’d have been dead the second he kissed me.”
“Well now I’m really glad I shot the bastard.” He laughed, touching her mouth. “He lost that chance years ago.”
“Jen’s going to wake up soon.” Warned Sarai, closing her fingers around his wrist. “She’ll kill you, you know.”
He sighed and sat down, nudging Jen awake. “She’s up, finally.” He said gruffly, completely different from how he’d been a second ago.
Jen jumped up, pushing her daughter’s hair out of her eyes. “Thank God.” She breathed, relief flooding her features. “I was afraid I’d actually lose you this time.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Jen.” Laughed Sarai. “You won’t be rid of me that easily.”
“Yes, well, if you scare me like that again, I might actually call your father and Ivanna.” Warned Jen, and it was no idle threat.
“I’ll be sure to remember that.” She replied solemnly, and Jen smiled warmly. Gibbs slipped out of the room, knowing that Sarai would come to find him as soon as she was out of the hospital, so he might as well let Jen have this moment.



She wrapped her body around him, purring with content. Her body was loose and sated and she was glad to finally have his full attention. He stroked her dark hair, lazily, and kissed her forehead. “Then you do love me, Miss Mossad.” Said Tony, his voice low and sultry.
Ziva dragged his mouth down to hers again. “I love you, Tony.” She breathed, her back arching into him.
“I love you too, Ziva.” He murmured, loving the way she felt with her head on his shoulder. “And just between us, I don’t think I could ever have said that if it hadn’t been for all the insane stuff that’s been happening for the last few weeks.”
“I couldn’t have either, but don’t tell Sarai that I said that.”



Sarai collapsed in Gibbs’ arms as soon as his front door closed behind them, sobbing. He held her and whispered to her soothingly, waiting for her to run out of tears. Finally, when her crying turned to hiccups, he cupped her face in his hands. “I want you to trust me.” He said firmly. “Tell me everything.” And so she took a deep breath and told him the whole story, from the first assignment she’d been sent on, to the years she’d spent in Israel with her father’s family, to what had happened in the Alley fifteen years earlier, to Tahlia’s death, and to the moment she’d realized that Tyler was dead. They stayed up all night, laying together as he listened in silence. When she finished, she was exhausted, the number of truths overwhelming her and making her dizzy. He moved on top of her and kissed her, slow and heated, and she couldn’t breathe, even if she’d needed to. Gibbs pulled back, cradling her dark head. “You’ve had one hell of a life, Raz. Why did you never try to leave?”
She was quiet for a minute. “I was afraid. And I liked it. I was really made to be what I’ve become. Do you have any idea how intoxicating it is to know that men fall in love with me at the drop of a hat, and that, for all I act like a damsel in distress, I can kill them as easy as look at them?” her strength was returning, and it gave her a glow that she never had otherwise. “It’s sick, I know, but to know that I could have the world if I wanted it, it makes me feel like I can’t fall.”
Gibbs lifted her mouth up, trying to stop her from saying the words, as if that would keep her from ever thinking them again. She melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You make me feel the same way.” She murmured against his lips. “But it’s safer. It’s not that I’m so high, just that you’ll never let me fall from where I am. You’ll hold me up.”
“And I will.” He growled. “If it kept you sane, I would do just about anything.”
“I will make sure I never put you in that position.” She returned, cuddling into him. “I promise.”
“Don’t.” he said, shaking his head. “I’d rather you come to me for help than break down like the last time.”
She shrank, wishing she could read his mind. “I didn’t mean to start drinking again. I swore I wouldn’t touch it after Tahlia died, but then I went started up again after I left. I’m sorry, Jethro.”
“For what? For not being perfect? Believe me, you’re track record is better than mine by a long shot. And besides that,” he kissed her neck, grinning at her tiny whimper. “We’ve got time for that. How would like explaining to your mother why your five year old looks just like me when she doesn’t even know that you snuck into my house?” he reminded her, teasingly.
Sarai laughed, and she was fully contained in the present where his touches did something to her that she would never understand. “Oh, but who’s to say that she doesn’t? Maybe I told her years ago so that the next time I ran into you, I could jump you without giving a damn about what she would think?” She teased back
“I’m pretty sure she’d have killed me by now if she knew.” A shudder ran through him when their skin touched, and he barely had time to wonder what had happened to their clothes before she was clinging to him, gasping his name as her body trembled under him. “I love you, Raz.” He wasn’t sure if she’d heard him, but it made the world a little brighter just to say it out loud.