Disclaimer: Walt Disney owns this not me. I found it The New Illustrated Disney Songbook ©1986 The Walt Disney Company on pg. 83 and it was written by Cy Coben and the music was by Oliver Wallace.

There I hope I got everyone who should be given credit in there.

The Verses

How D’ye Do and Shake Hands

You go through life and never know the day
When fate may bring a situation that will prove to be
Embarrassing, your face gets red, you hide your head
And wish that you could die, but that’s old fashioned,
Here’s a new thing you should really try,

Chorus

Say:

“How d’ye do” and shake hands, shake hands, shake hands,
Say “how d’ye do” and shake hands, state your name and
Bus’ness.

You introduce your girlfriend to your very special beau
And then he doesn’t call you and the next thing that you
Know you see them both a-walking down the street as big
As life, and when he says, “My dear, I’d like to have you
Meet my wife,

Chorus

You take your girl friend on a date and you have so much fun
That you forget to bring her home until it’s after one,
Her father’s waiting at the door as angry as can be,
I’ve had that happen lots of times, so take this tip from me,

Chorus

While at the wedding of some folks you hardly know by sight,
And in conversation with a woman on your right
You say you think the bride’s a mess, her face she ought to hide,
And when you find you’re talking to the mother of the bride,

Chorus

While walking thru a cemetery very late at night
You find that you’re confronted by a figure dressed in white
And the blood inside your veins has quickly turned to ice
Everything will be O.K. if you take my advice

Chorus

You walking into a restaurant as hungry as can be,
And when you’ve had your meal of everything from A to Z
You realize you haven’t got a single cent with you
And when the manager comes over this is what you do

Chorus

You’re speeding down the highway and the feeling is superb,
And then you hear a siren and “Pull over to the curb,”
And when a cop who’s big and tough comes walking up to you
And asks you where the firs is that you are going to,

Chorus

You go into a barbershop to get yourself a shave,
And if you are the kind of guy who never can behave
You ask the manicurist for a little kiss or two
And then when you discover it’s her husband shaving you

Chorus

A handshake and a happy greeting’s mighty hard to beat,
So at the risk of boring you I’m going to repeat
Remember in the future that no matter what you do
Here’s one way to get out of any mess you get into

Chorus

Chapter 1

Anthony Dinozzo was in in Second Grade the first time it happened. His friend Chloe had stolen his bouncy ball and he was chasing her around the playground trying to get it back.

She was a blonde haired, blue-eyed little girl with her hair in pigtails that bounced when she ran. She turned around holding the bouncy ball out and taunting him. “Come on Tony!”

Tony stopped to catch his breath for only a moment then he continued running after her. He found her sitting on a swing waiting for him. “Can I have my ball back?”

“Maybe.” She smiled her coy little smile.

In that moment, Tony had a strange thought, which he quickly shook off. “Can I have it back if I push you?” he gestured to the swing.

“Sure.” She answered nodding.

Instead of pushing her from behind, Tony grabbed the chains and pulled them forward. Then he released them.

Chloe giggle and glanced around the playground. Again, he had a funny thought but pushed it from his mind.

“Here you go.” Chloe tossed the ball into his hands and continued swinging on her own, forcing him to step back.

He turned and waved over his shoulder as he headed towards the school. He began throwing the ball against the wall and a few more boys joined him. After about ten more minutes, the bell rang, ending recess.

He ran inside the building and sat down at his desk, shoving the bouncy ball into his pocket.

The rest of the day he was restless, his mind fixated on Chloe’s hair, face, eyes, and lips. He didn’t know why and it was beginning to frustrate him. He kept stealing peeks at her across the classroom and noticed she kept looking at him and smiling. Then she’d look away and go back to her work when she noticed he was noticing her.

When the bell rang for the day to end Tony lagged behind everyone else. He walked over to the coat rack and grabbed his little black jacket, and started to put it on. As he turned around to look at the classroom, he noticed Chloe was still there. She was coming over to the coat rack as well and so he grabbed her coat for her. “Here you go.” He said, handing it to her. It was light pink and looked good on her.


“Thanks Tony.” She looked around the classroom and then back at him. Their teacher was in the hall speaking with one of the parents.

Tony couldn’t help feeling nervous but he didn’t know why. Suddenly he had that funny thought, only this time it urged him on.

He looked at Chloe again and then pressed his lips up against hers, closing his eyes. It was over in three seconds and Chloe had pulled back.

He found she was glaring at him. “What?” He asked.

Chloe looked over at the doorway where the teacher and Chloe’s mother were both standing with their mouths hanging open.

“Chloe!” Her mother was shocked.

“It wasn’t me, it was him!” She yelled a bit hysterically, while pointing at Tony.

Tony started fidgeting nervously. He didn’t know what to do, so he did what his mother made him do when he met someone new. He stretched out his hand and said, “how do you do, Ma’am?” TThen when all he got in response was a glare, he dropped his hand and gave her a smile women would go mad for in years to come.

Chapter 2

“Tony, I thought we were going to a movie.” Sarah looked at him questioningly. “Where are we going?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, actually.”

“What?!” She shrieked. “You don’t have anything planned for our 7 month anniversary?”

Tony smiled as he thought of the day 7 months ago. December 16th. It was her birthday, she hadn’t been able to date until she turned 16. As soon as she was he’d asked her out.

“Tony!” She punched him lightly on the arm. “Where are we going?”

He stopped the car and gave her a mischievous look as he said, “we’re not going anywhere now.” Then he shut the door and slid across the hood quickly. He opened the door and helped her step out. He blind-folded her and took her hands.

“Tony where are we-”

“You’ll see.”

Stopping under a tree, Tony removed the blind-fold and pointed up.

“A tree house?” Sarah was a little confused and skeptical.

“Up you go.” Tony said, pointing up.

Sarah ascended the ladder and looked around. There were three crates, one with a tablecloth and a candle on it. There were other crates that were stacked as shelves and all held pictures, toys, or blankets and pillows.

Tony had made it up the ladder and motioned for her to sit on one of the crates. He looked around him, patting his pockets,

“Looking for something?”

“Yeah a-” He grabbed a small object and brandished it triumphantly. “A Lighter.” He lit the candle and then sat down on the other crate facing Sarah.

“So what are we eating?” Sarah gestured to the plates on the largest crate.

“Turkey sandwiches, to drink, your favorite apple juice.”

As they ate they talked about school, family, everything they could think of.

They talked and talked until their problems were all gone and their minds were winding into the content feeling we all crave.

They both were sitting with a companionable silence between them until Sarah glanced at her watch.

“Oh no! It’s 12:30.”

“What was your curfew?”

“Midnight, what’ll I do?”

“Well, I guess we get you home ASAP.”

She nodded and started to cleanup.

“Don’t bother. I’m coming back later, let’s not waste anytime.” He blew out the candle and stood up.

Down the ladder and back to the car quickly.

Tony still insisted on opening her door for her. Then he rushed over to his side and got in the car.

She’s already late, what’s another 20 minutes gonna do? Tony asked himself. It didn’t matter when he got her home. She was still late. However getting her home by 1 was better than 2 or even later.

Sarah grabbed his hand nearest to her and started nervously playing with his fingers.

“I’m sorry, if I’d known I would’ve watched the clock closer.”

Sarah looked at him, a little surprise in her green eyes. “It’s not your fault. I knew about my curfew. I should’ve paid closer attention to the time.”

He still felt bad, but now Tony turned his concentration to the road. It was gonna be a long drive, although it was only 40 minutes to her house.

When they reached her house, Sarah just sat there. She didn’t want to go in. There was a light on in the living room and a silhouette was outlined in the window.

She sighed and began to get out, when Tony held her hand a little tighter and stopped her.

“I still feel kind of responsible, so how about I walk you in and apologize to your parent’s?” He said it in the form of a question but there was no question about it.

She nodded in spite of this fact and opened the door for herself, waiting for Tony to turn off the car and join her.

The walk across the lawn was grueling and when she quietly opened the door it creaked. She froze where she was and her father, in his bathrobe, pajamas, and slippers came out of the living room into the entrance hall. “What time did we tell you to be back?” He shouted in a whisper.

“What is he doing here? Did you think you we’re going to be able to sneak him up to your bedroom!?” Now he was no longer whisper he was shouting.

“No Daddy-”

“Go up to your room immediately, and you are grounded from this boy for a whole 2 weeks at least!”

“Daddy!” Sarah shouted now.

While her father was gathering his breath for another wind, Tony spoke up.

“How do you do sir?” He held out his hand.

Over his spectacles, Sarah’s father gave him a look that said he was a complete and total idiot. “How do you think I am?!”

“Well, sir the thing is, I think you’re a little upset right now and if I could just say something, I think you’re going to see that all of this shouting is completely unnecessary.”

“What?”

“Well you see, uh sir, me and your daughter were just having a little picnic and we’d been talking for quite a while when Sarah realized it was 12:30. She was in a frenzy and we hurried to get her home.”

Tony paused and her father nodded for him to continue.

“So we drove back as quickly as was reasonably possible and when we got here, she was a little nervous about facing you. So I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to the door. See I kind of felt responsible and I wanted to apologize to you for bringing her home so late. We weren’t going up to her room or anything sir, honest.” He took a breath and squeezed Sarah’s hand. “So you see, sir, I’m sorry I brought her home so late and I will try harder to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Good night.” Tony ducked his head and gave Sarah a quick kiss before turning around and walking out to his car.

Sarah shut the front door and looked at her father. “It’s the truth Daddy.” She said it quietly.

Her father heaved a sigh and looked her over. “I suppose I over reacted a bit.”

“Maybe just a bit.”

“He seems like a nice boy.”

“You’re just realizing this now?”

“Well,” her father grumbled, “no on is ever good enough for my little girl.”

She smiled. “Good night Daddy.” She began walking up the stairs when her father said, “you’re still grounded.”

“What?”

“Only for a day though, tomorrow is Saturday, you’re going to stay home and help your mother tomorrow. She needs help with some baking she’s doing.”

Sarah nodded in a resigned manner and then continued up to her room.

Outside Tony watched as the silhouettes disappeared and the lights in the house went out. Then he drove back to his little treehouse and finished cleaning up.