Definitely Maybe
Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, Definitely Maybe, or any of the characters. Thought I’d clear that up at the start. Please enjoy and leave a comment saying what I can improve on. Thanks!



--

He clicked the pen impatiently, ignoring his work and glancing nervously at the file in front of him. He finally decides to open it and thought back to his wedding day and how back then he couldn’t ever imagine this happening; that he of all people, would be part of the 46% that didn’t live happily ever after…

A passing agent congratulated him on the great work and effort he had put into the previous case he and his fellow team mates had done extremely well. For a moment he contemplated how he got to be a NCIS agent, and sighed at how much he had changed over the last ten years, how much Maya had changed him. He grinned as he shoved the folder into his bag and packed up the rest of his stuff and said goodnight to his workmates. Tuesdays and Fridays were his favourite days because he got out of work early and went to pick up his daughter from school.

As he walked into the elevator he pulled his i-pod out and found the perfect song to go with his mood; Everyday people by Sly and the Family Stone.

Sometimes I'm right then I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my songs
A butcher, a banker, a drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people

There is a blue one who can't accept
The green one for living with
a black ones tryin' to be a skinny one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby

Ooh sha sha
We gotta live together

I am no better and neither are you
We're all the same whatever we do
You love me you hate me
You know me and then
Still can't figure out the bag I'm in
I am everyday people

There is a new man
That doesn't like the short man
For being such a rich one
That will not help the poor one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on scooby dooby dooby

Ooh sha sha
We got to live together

There is a yellow one that won't
Accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
That won't accept the white one

Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and
Scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
I am everyday people

He walked through the streets of the city listening to the song and barely paying attention to what was going on around him until he felt someone pull his arm to stop him walking into the oncoming traffic. He mouthed a thank you to the man who also had his headphones on.

He checked his watch as the school came into view and sighed, he was just in time to meet her. He removed his i-pod and walked through the double doors and into the school.

His eyes widened when he noticed the amount of parents and children there were crowded in the hallway. Three pm was normally a busy time for schools but it wasn’t normally this crowded. Children were crying, screaming, and kicking while their parents argued or yelled at each other or teachers. He managed to stop one of Maya’s friends and her mom and ask them what was going on.

“Tony, did you know there was gonna be a sex education class today?� She replied.

“Aren’t they kinda young?� He asked. Maya was only ten.

“Yeah! It was a total disaster.� She replied.

“At least it got them reading.� One of the teachers commented joining them.

“There’s a book!� Tony exclaimed as he noticed a few of the children reading out loud from a book, “the 250 sperm are ejaculated and begin their treacherous journey towards the fallopian tubes! One hundred million are wiped out instantly…�

Tony had heard enough, “I’m gonna go find Maya.�

“Do you still have sex with Daddy?� He heard one girl ask her mother frantically as he passed them looking for his daughter. He watched as the mother denied it the girl became more frantic, “You do, don’t you? I hate you! I hate you!� Tony sighed as he saw Maya walk up to him not looking forward to all the new questions he’d have to answer.

“We need to talk.� She said to him as they headed for the door.

--

“…which is when the man removes his penis from his pyjamas and thrusts it into the woman’s vagina…� Maya said.

“Mrs Philips didn’t actually say ‘thrusts’.� Tony asked her nervously.

Maya nodded before continuing, “But what I don’t understand, Danny Beckcombs sister says he was an accident. I mean how do you accidentally thrust a penis into â€"“

“Stop saying ‘penis’ and ‘thrust’. Say something cute like ‘tinkle part’ or ‘wee wee’. Something cute.� Tony told her as they reached his apartment and he unlocked the door.

She followed him inside and sat down on the couch. “Explain how Danny was an accident.� She demanded.

“It’s complicated.� He replied slumping down beside her.

She leant over to him and whispered the two words he didn’t want to hear from his daughter in his ear.

He sat up abruptly and pushed her away gently. “That’s enough.�

He sighed not really wanting to have this conversation with her. “It’s not like his dad slipped on a banana peel. The accident was that Danny’s mom got pregnant.�

“If they didn’t want a baby then why’d they have sex?�

He bit his lip trying to come up with a believable answer “That’s a very good question. I guess you could say that they were rehearsing.�

She considered this for a moment before turning to him “was I an accident?�

“No.� He replied pulling her close.

“I was, wasn’t I?�

“No. You were completely and totally on purpose. I knew exactly what I was getting into.�

She sighed and hugged him back.

--

“I think you should tell me the story of you and my mom.� Maya said as she helped him cut up vegetables for their dinner.

“Why do you keep on calling her ‘my mom’ like I’ve never met her?� He asked her as he grabbed bowls out of the cupboard.

“Well, because now that you’re getting divorced, she’s mine not yours.�

He raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?�

She sighed. “Just tell me how it happened. And the real story not the, ‘Oh we met and we fell in love, and we decided to take all that love and make a family and that’s how we made you.�

He leant over the bench rolling his eyes. “You know what? I’m gonna tell you the real, true story of how me and your mother met.�

“When I’m old enough.� She said catching on.

“Yep.� He nodded taking the bowls over to the table.

“Look, I know love isn’t a fairytale.�

“Really?� He asked raising his eyebrows.

“Really.� She nodded as she handed him the cut vegetables. “Did you have another girlfriend before you met her?�

He chuckled in answer.

She rolled her eyes at him in disbelief. “Come on, tell me the truth.�

He sighed, she might’ve inherited his brown hair and blue eyes but she definitely got her mother’s stubbornness. “I had two serious girlfriends and then some other, a smattering of other woman that I dated.�

“You know.�

“What?�

“What’s the boy word for slut?� She asked him innocently cocking her head to the side.

“They still haven’t come up with one yet, but I’m sure they’re working on it.� He said putting the vegetables in bowls. “You a vegetarian this week or not?�

“Yeah I am.� She nodded.

“Great.� He sighed.

--

“I’m guessing you weren’t her first boyfriend.� Maya said to him as she brushed her teeth. “Maybe it was some nerdy guy or maybe he was mean. Or maybe,� she paused as she rinsed her mouth, “you were friends for the longest time and then just as you were about to put your penis into somebody else’s vagina…�

He grabbed her firmly by the shoulder and started to march her down the hall to her room. “Okay. Goodnight, Maya.�

“…you realised Mom was the only one for you!� She finished.

“Bedtime!� He said as they reached her room.

“You still have to tell me the story of why you fell in love with her.� She demanded as she climbed into her princess themed bed.

“I fell in love with her because she was smart, beautiful and fun.� He said as he tucked her in.

“So now she’s stupid, ugly, and boring?� She asked turning on her lamp.

“Of course not.� He told her as he turned the lamp back off.

“Then what’s the problem?� She asked sitting up and turning the lamp back on.

He gave up trying to turn the lamp off and picked her clothes up off the floor instead. “It’s complicated, Maya.�

She sighed. “Everything with you is so complicated. I bet that if you just told me the story, you’d realise that it’s not complicated at all. That you just love her.�

He sighed struggling to understand where she was coming from. “I know this is tough for you but what are you thinking? That I’m gonna tell you the story and it’ll make everything better? It doesn’t work that way.�

“Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. Tell me and we’ll find out.�

He gave her a small smile, shaking his head and turning the bedroom light off. “No. Game over. It’s time for bed.�

“No, it’s not time for bed! It’s time for you to tell me the story!� She demanded folding her arms.

“Maya!�

“I need to know!� She demanded again making him turn the light back on and turn around to face her, leaning on the door.

“I need to know.� She repeated again with those puppy dog eyes that he couldn’t resist.

“Fine! Fine!� He said finally giving in and walking over to the bed.

She flashed that DiNozzo grin at him.

“I’m gonna tell you the story.� He said leaning on the bed in front of her, “but I’m not telling you who your mom is.�

“Fine.� She agreed.

“You’re just gonna have to figure it out for yourself.�

“Good.� She nodded.

“And I’m changing all the names and some of the facts, but I just decided that right now.� He told her smugly. “And then we’ll see how smart you are.�

“I like it. It’s like a love story/mystery.� She replied grinning.

“Great. Sounds good. You ready?�

“No.�

“No?� He sighed as she finally got under the blankets and organised her pillows comfortably behind her. As soon as she was comfortable she sighed, “I’m ready.�

“Once upon a time,� He began.

--

So what do you think I know at the moment it sounds a lot like the movie but I promise next chapter when Tony starts the story it takes its own twists and turns and we meet the first possible Mom but how many of you will be able to work out who it is? Lol please review it makes my day.

Definitely Maybe
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Still don’t own NCIS or Definitely Maybe apart from on DVD.
Thanks again to Ziny-DiNozzo, you’re the best and thanks to all the people who read and enjoyed this.

Read Ziny-DiNozzo’s ‘A Kiss and a Promise’ it’s a really great story.

So anyway please enjoy chapter 2:


“Once upon a time,� He began.

Fourteen years ago to be exact there was a young handsome man called Tony DiNozzo. Now this young man was deeply, deeply in love with one of his work colleges. Let’s call her…

“Sasha!� Said Maya excitedly,

Sasha. The only problem was that their boss had rules about relationships in the office, so they had to keep their relationship a secret and act as though there was nothing between them when at work, so not to arouse suspicions.

But every day they began the day by meeting each other in the elevator, even if they had slept over at each other’s house.


Tony stepped into the elevator and as soon as the doors closed she grabbed him by the collar and pulled me into a deep and passionate kiss.

“You’re gonna get us caught if you keep greeting me like that.� Tony said to her.

She grinned. “I just couldn’t resist your charm and maybe I missed you last night.�

He pushed the emergency stop button and pulled her into another deep kiss before answering. “I know and I missed you too but I was packing.�

Sasha sighed as he held her close. “I wish you didn’t have to go.�

“Same here, I’ll only be a couple of weeks and then I’ll be back and all yours. It’s my sister’s graduation and she’ll kill me if I don’t go.� He replied gently kissing her forehead.

“Well we can’t have that, can we? Oh that reminds me. Since you’re going to San Francisco could you give an old friend something for me?� She said pulling away and taking a small package out of her bag and handed it to him. “Megan Ryan, she’s the only girl I know in San Francisco. I want you to meet her.�

“Megan Ryan?� He read off the package

“Yes, yes.�

“That’s her name?� He just always thought Ryan was a guy’s name and it was a strange last name.

“Yes she was my friend at collage, and all the guys wanted to sleep with her and you probably will, too.�

“Maybe you should mail it to her. That might be a better idea.� He suggested nervously.

Sasha shook her head. “No.�

“What is it?� He asked looking curiously at the strange package.

“Something I should have sent her a long time ago.� She said as she smiled. “I love you Tony DiNozzo.� She said tucking his hair behind his ear before pressing the emergency stop again and walking out of the elevator doors as they opened.


“Sasha sounds like she’d be a good mom.� Maya said interrupting him. “I just don’t know if she’s my mom.�

“Why not?� Tony asked her.

“Everyone knows that the girlfriend at the start of the story always gets dumped. Which means maybe Megan Ryan is my mom.�

“You’ll only find out if you let me continue.�

“Fine, sorry, carry on.�


Tony waited until she was about a metre away before catching up with her. He also noticed she had a sore red nose.

“Hey Sasha.� He greeted her like they had never met in the elevator so they didn’t raise suspicions. He then noticed she didn’t look that well, she had bags under her eyes even though he knew she was getting enough sleep and her nose was so red it made Rudolf’s nose look pale. “Are you feeling okay?�

She spun around and he noticed she blushed. “I’m fine Tony it’s just a cold. Why are you so concerned anyway?�

He froze realising that while they were at work he wasn’t supposed to care for her, he wasn’t supposed to be concerned that she didn’t look well, he wasn’t supposed to want to take her home and care for her during the day, making sure she got the rest and care she needed.

But he did. She was the first woman in a very long time that he felt those feelings for and he just couldn’t help himself. But he took a deep breath and covered those feelings up. “Well I don’t wanna get sick do I?�

She sighed, walked over to her desk and. “Typical! You always only worry about yourself!�

“I do not!� He argued. “I tell you what, I’ll prove it.�

She raised her eyebrow. “How exactly?�

“I know of a cure.�

Sasha rolled her eyes. “I’m listening.�

“Sake-bombing.�

“Sake-bombing?�

“Oh C’mon Sasha, don’t tell me you’ve never heard of sake-bombing?� He asked.

“Do I look like I’ve heard of it?�

“You take a cup of hot sake.  You drop it in a beer.  You toss it back and �" and KA-BOOM!� He explained making an exploding noise.

“Sake-bombing?� She repeated raising her eyebrows.

He nodded. “Great for a cold.�

“I’ll stick to honey and hot tea thanks.� She replied.

Tony shrugged. “It’s your choice. We all know McGee would do it.�

McGee who had been sitting quietly at his desk until now looked up. “Do what?�

“Sake-bombing.�

“What?�

Tony quickly explained to him what sake-bombing was. When he was finished McGee shock his head. “Nope I’ve never done that either.�

“I work with a pair of wankers.� Tony exclaimed.

“And you make three DiNozzo.� His Boss Gibbs commented as walked past the group with his morning coffee hand.


“Hold it! Stop, stop right there! You swore in front of a girl?� Maya exclaimed, horrified.

“No... Yeah. But... I didn't mean to tell you that. Listen, I was young and I was stupid, and I haven't sworn in years, I promise you.� Tony reassured her.

Maya folded her arms and raised her eyebrows. “Is there anything else you should tell me?�

Tony sighed. “Probably... not. Anyway…�


All three agents quickly acknowledged Gibbs’ presence and as Tony and Sasha got settled at their desk McGee sorted through the mail. He stopped when he reached a letter that was sealed with a kiss.

“Umm…this one’s just addressed to ‘NCIS Special Agent’.� He said inspecting it carefully.

Tony quickly walked over a snatched it off the younger agent. “It’s mine McGee.�


“Wait! If you with Sasha who was the letter from?� Maya asked suspiciously.

“I thought it was from her because I’d annoyed her recently by sending her flowers to work and I thought it was her getting me back.� Tony explained.

“Oh…�


“Huh, how do you know?� McGee asked suspiciously.

“I recognise the lips,� Tony replied snatching the envelope out of McGee’s hand. “And the scent.� He sang as he took the envelope over to his desk sneaking a wink at Sasha.

“Gummy bears?� Sasha asked sarcastically trying to hide her smile.

He ignored her, ripped it open and blew. A fine white powder blew out hovering in the air, Tony froze his eyes wide.


“Oh no! What was it? Were you okay? Who sent it?� Maya interrupted sitting up suddenly and Tony noticed her face had paled.

Tony climbed onto the bed and hugged his daughter close. “Relax Maya, I promise I was fine. I am fine. I’ll explain soon, do you want me to continue the story or have you had enough for tonight?�

She snuggled close to him and nodded.


Gibbs noticed his actions and immediately stood up on his desk and let all the other agents in the office know that an envelope with an unknown white powder was just opened and to follow emergency procedures. Everyone apart from Gibbs, Sasha, McGee and Tony ran for the exits at once.

Sasha threw Tony a water bottle to wash as much of the powder off him as he could before she grabbed the phone on her desk and pressed the emergency button. “Letter opened in Special Agent Gibbs’s office dispersed a fine white powder.  Initiating bio-attack procedures; third floor is evacuating.� Tony could hear the panic in her voice.

Gibbs turned to McGee who was still standing at his desk with his mouth open in shock. “McGee, are you up on procedures?�

The youngest agent regained himself and turned to face his boss. “Yeah, we shower, burn our clothes, get our blood tested.  Nobody leaves the building until the substance is identified except… �

“Lucky me.� Tony finished as he continued to pour water over himself. “I get a free trip to Bethesda-

“Bethesda?� Asked Maya,

“Naval hospital.� Explained Tony.


“…to be pricked like a pin cushion.�

“They’ve shut down the air.� Sasha noticed as the sound of the air conditioning was heard. “Let’s hit the showers Tony.� She ordered him.

“Thought you’d never ask.� A slightly damp Tony said as he followed her and McGee out to the showers telling Gibbs he was sorry as he walked past him.

* * *

After they had all showered they were sent down to autopsy where Ducky took their blood. None of them liked it but Gibbs was the grumpiest.

“You should have given the letter to me, McGee.� Gibbs scolded the young agent.

“I know Boss.� McGee replied.

“It’s not McGee’s fault,� Sasha said sticking up for him, “Tony snatched it out of his hand.�

“So now it’s my bad?� Tony asked.

“You did grab it, Tony.� McGee pointed out.

“Lame excuse Probie, you should’ve stopped me.� Tony argued.

Suddenly Gibbs got off the autopsy bench where he’d been sitting, grabbed some gear from another work bench and headed towards the door. "Where do you think you're going?" Doctor Mallard asked him stepping in front of the door.

"Find out who sent the letter." Gibbs replied simply.

"You cannot leave autopsy! It's negative-pressured so airborne pathogens can't contaminate the building."

"I've been scrubbed, sanitized for all I know, sterilized. I have an investigation to open." Gibbs told him angrily.

"I have a possible contagion to contain.� Ducky told him calmly. “Until your blood test clears you, I cannot permit you to leave this room.�

Suddenly a group of paramedics in bright orange suits wearing what looked like pest control masks entered the room. “Who opened the envelope?� One of them asked.

Tony pointed at McGee who backed away as the paramedics headed towards him.

“Just kidding.� Tony joked as he got off the bench. “I’m your pin cushion.�

“Did you inhale any powder?� The man in the mask asked him.

Tony nodded, “I might’ve.�

“We took blood,� Doctor Mallard told them. “Jimmy?� He called to his assistant.

“Yeah.  Four blood vials on ice to go.� Jimmy reported.

Suddenly Sasha sneezed making everyone in the room turn to face her. “It’s a cold.  I had it before I came in this morning.� she said simply.

“Which makes you even more susceptible to airborne pathogens.  You should go in the hospital too.� Doctor Mallard told her.

“Oh no!� Sasha started to argue.

"Sasha, play it safe. Go with Tony." Gibbs ordered her.

Even though she rolled her eyes Tony could see the longing in them. "That's safe?!!!"

He indicated his head towards the door as a silent order. She glanced sideways at Tony who just raised his eyebrows. She sighed as she jumped off the bench, “How long are we going to have to stay in isolation?� She asked the paramedic.

“At least overnight.� The paramedic replied.

“Can we have double beds?� Tony asked, “Because I hate it when you get that crease when you push the two-� He was cut off by Gibbs head slapping him. “If I get Anthrax how would you feel?� Tony asked him turning to face him.

“Not as bad as you DiNozzo.� Gibbs replied.

“Let’s go.� The paramedic told them.

“God I feel like crap.� Sasha exclaimed as they were led out of autopsy and through the building.

“Maybe a foot massage would help?� Tony suggested moving closer to her. Since Gibbs wasn’t around they had no need to hide their relationship.

She turned around to face him, her mouth open in shock. “Tony I…I don’t think that’s a good idea.�

“Why? Gibbs isn’t around.�

“No Tony not now.�

He stopped and pulled her close, kissing her gently on the forehead. “Okay.�

* * *

Once at Bethesda they met Dr Brad Pitt (no relation to the actor) and Nurse Emma before they were taken to a small chamber with eight hospital beds in it. Tony wanted to push two beds together and be close together but the doctor wouldn’t allow it so he stared longingly from across the room.

“What is it Tony?� Sasha asked when she noticed he was staring at her.

He swallowed and quickly averted his eyes to stare at the ceiling. “Think they really zap bugs?�

“What?� Sasha asked.

“These blue lights.�

“Are you serious?� She asked rolling over to face him.

“Ever heard of a placebo, Sasha?�

“Tony, placebos are administered for a psychological effect.� She told him.

“Precisely.  How do you know these lamps aren’t there to make us think they’re helping?  Hmm?� He asked.

“Maybe because they’re there to kill whatever bugs we breathe into the air.� She replied rolling her eyes.

“You may have a point.�

“You’re afraid, aren’t you?� She asked him trying to mask the concern in her voice.

“Sasha, come on. Me? Afraid?  Have you ever seen me afraid?�

“Well, not when the danger is something that we can confront.  But all we can do here is lie around and hope that we’re not infected.�

“Now who’s afraid?�

“Anyone with half a brain...  I take that back.� She said sarcastically.


“I think Sasha’s right, I think you were afraid.� Maya said as she hugged him.

“Yeah I was but not for me, for her.� Tony replied hugging her back.

“I hope she’s okay.�

* * *

Tony lay there stunned at what Doctor Pitt had just told him. He had the plague, pneumonic plague. The plague that had wiped out almost half of Europe during the fourteenth century. And the worst bit was that because he’d spent so much time around her, Sasha may have been exposed. He felt terrible; he could live with the fact that he was sick and possibly going to die but the fact that Sasha had it…it made him sick.

She looked healthy for the moment and that made him feel better at least if…if anything happened she was still the most beautiful woman in the room.

“If I catch your cold I’m going to be very pissed.� He warned her trying to make her smile before turning to the doctor. “She’ll be okay, right?� He asked.

The doctor nodded before walking over to Sasha who was leaning on her bed. Tony couldn’t hear what they were saying but it looked like they were arguing about something. Maybe the Doctor had asked her out and she turned him down?

“Sasha, tell Doctor Brad about that wet t-shirt contest you won.� He told her trying to lighten the mood.
    
“Tell Emma about the transsexual you tongued.� She retorted   

“That never happened.� He told her as Emma laughed. “That never happened. Thanks for passing along the cold, Sasha� He said to her as he coughed.

“Lay back, Tony. All right, everybody behind the shield.  Tony, I’m going to need you to take a deep breath and hold it.� Doctor Pitt told him as he continued to cough.

Tony looked at Sasha if this was his last day at least he got to spent it with her. “I’m sorry I teased you with all those movies, Sasha.� He apologised glancing back at her.

“Teased?  You’ve tortured me.  For two years all I’ve heard is John Wayne and Clint Eastwood, James Bond.� She replied grinning.
    
“James Bond… is a character… played by Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan.� He suddenly noticed she was wearing a surgical mask.  “Why are you wearing a mask?� He asked as he coughed again.
 
“Because I have a cold.� She explained.

“Why aren’t you sick?� He asked her weakly letting out a small sigh of relief.

“Because I’m stronger than you, Tony.� She told him.

“Are not.� He replied weakly.

“Am too.� She argued back.

He suddenly started chocking and gagging.

“Tony!  Tony!  Sit up!� She exclaimed and he could hear the panic in her voice.
   
“Sasha, you should leave. Now!� Doctor Pitt ordered her and Tony could see tears in her eyes as she left the room.

As soon as she left Gibbs stormed through the doors and straight over to Tony’s bedside.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Who the hell are you?� The doctor asked him.
 
“His boss.  The bug has a suicide gene.  It’s dead.  It’s been dead for over an hour.  He’s no longer infectious.� He told the doctor before leaning over to whisper in Tony’s ear, “Tony, listen to me.  Are you listening?�  

“I’m listening.  I’m listening, Boss.� Tony replied gasping for breath.

“You will not die, you got that?  I said, you will not die.� Gibbs whispered to him. Before head slapping him when Tony didn’t answer. 
   

“Okay, I got you, Boss.� Tony whispered back.

“Good.� Gibbs whispered back as he placed a cell phone in Tony’s hand. “It’s your new cell. By the way your sister left some very angry messages saying how you’re a bastard for missing the most important day of her life.�
    
“I’m sorry Alex.� Tony whispered back.
 
* * *

Tony was partly asleep when he heard someone enter the room and nurse Emma whisper, “He’s asleep.�

But he was surprised when he heard Sasha whisper back, “Thank you.� as she knelt by his bedside and gently stroked his face.
 
“You didn’t send me the envelope did you?� He asked her.

“You think Tony?�

“The only reason I opened it was because I thought it was your way of getting me back for the flowers I sent you.�

“Oh Tony I’m so sorry.� She said as the lights flicked off and the couple was left in the dark.

“The only reason I opened it was because I thought it was your way of getting me back for the flowers I sent you.�

“Oh Tony I’m so sorry.� She said as the lights flicked off and the couple was left in the dark.


“So then what happened?� Maya asked eagerly. “Did she get really sick and die? Do you think Uncle Gibbs ordering you not to die helped? When did you go back to work? What happens to Sasha? Do you end up going to San Francisco and meeting Megan Ryan?�

Tony chuckled, for a ten year old she asked a lot of questions. He knew she got that from his side of the family and it might help her become an excellent investigator one day. “Everything worked out okay. I got the medication to help me fight off the plague and I was soon moved out of isolation. Sasha came and visited me every day and when I was eventually allowed out of the hospital she insisted on staying with me until I was well enough to return to work.�

“And when was that?� She asked cocking her head to one side.

“Not until a few weeks after I was released from hospital, so it meant we could spend all our spare time together. Being sick made me realize how much we meant to each other and we didn’t want to be separated from each other like that again. Gibbs actually made it easier by ordering Sasha to keep an eye on me. But eventually we had to return to work and pretend that nothing happened. I was looking forward to returning to work because I was bored of sitting at home alone whenever Sasha was called into the office and now I was feeling better I couldn’t wait to return to the field.�

“So did she want you to go back to work as much as you did?� Maya asked.

“No…well she was hesitant at first but she knew my job was part of who I was. Now can I carry on with the story or is it bedtime?� He asked her.

“No not until the story is finished.� She said snuggling up close to him.

“Okay…


So it was Tony’s first day back at work. Sasha had left his place early to have a shower and get ready for work so he arrived alone; he walked into the building and took a moment to stare around it. It did feel kind of weird to be back after so long but at the same time it felt kind of good. He sighed and walked over to the elevator where Gibbs stood leaning against it with a knowing look on his face. He pressed the button and once Tony had stepped inside he immediately flicked the halt button.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?� Gibbs asked turning to him.

“Never felt better.� Tony replied giving him his famous ‘DiNozzo’ grin even though he could have used a few more days at home with Sasha.

“Yeah.� Gibbs said looking unconvinced.

Tony nodded. “Yeah.�

“You look like crap.� Gibbs told him.

“I missed you too, Boss.� Tony replied.

“You’ve got another week of sick leave coming, Tony.  You should take it.� Gibbs told him.

“I was going crazy at home.  Maybe I’m not a hundred percent, but you need me.  Okay, what about Sasha and McGee?  They’re practically lost without me.� Tony reminded him.

“They got more work done in the last two weeks than in the whole year.� Gibbs told him as he pressed the halt button again and walking out

“They did miss me, right?� Tony asked him as they entered the bullpen.

“Yeah.  Something like that.� Gibbs replied.

“I can’t wait to see their faces!� He exclaimed.

Sasha was on the phone when they reached their desks. Tony greeted her but she didn’t even look up at him. He turned to McGee (who he had barely seen apart from the few times he had escorted Abby to the hospital) to ask his opinion but the younger agent looked away.
“What’s wrong with him?� Tony asked her but she ignored him and reported their latest case to Gibbs.

Gibbs headed for the elevator and the others quickly grabbed their gear and followed and to Tony’s surprise McGee was the first to reach the elevator leaving Tony to wonder if he really had died until a head slap from Gibbs brought him back to his senses

* * *

“You know I’m glad to be back at work being able to see you pretty face again.� Tony said to Sasha as they made their way towards their latest crime scene.

“Tony how many times have I told you, not at work!� She replied as he kissed her passionately.

“I can’t help it.� Tony said as they pulled apart. “You’re just so irresistible.�

“Really?  And what movie is that cheesy line from?� She asked him raising her eyebrows.

“The Tony DiNozzo autobiography.� Tony told her simply.

“Yeah right. It would more likely be a biography of all your ex-girlfriends bitching about you.�

“What ex girlfriends?� He asked innocently.

“How come you never talk about the girls before me?�

“Girls?�

“God your such a-� Sasha exclaimed but was cut off by McGee joining them.

“Tony’s such a what?� McGee asked them

“Never mind.� Both co-workers snapped at him.

There was a short period of awkward silence before Sasha sighed and took charge. “All right, back to work.  McGee, check the trunk.  Nobody touches dead bodies until Ducky says all clear� She said as they made their way towards the car the two dead marines were found in.

“Freeze, McGee!  Don’t move!  Car’s wired to explode.  Looks like the detonator’s tied to the trunk� Tony said suddenly pulling the younger agent back.

“What?� McGee asked him confused.

“How far did you turn the key?� Sasha asked him.

“Uh… not sure.  Almost all the way, I think.� McGee replied.

“Okay, don’t let it snap back, all right?� Tony told him.

McGee nodded.

“Let go.� Tony told him.

“Okay.�

“Okay, both of you run!� Tony ordered them.

“Tony, we’re not leaving you standing…� Sasha objected.

“I’m a lot faster than you are!  I’ll be right behind you.  This is not a debate, okay?  This thing might be primed already.  Anthony, you should have taken that extra week.� He said as all three made a mad dash away from the car.


“Oh My God!� Maya exclaimed. “Were you okay? Did Sasha make it?�

Tony sighed as he held his daughter close. “Yeah, we all made it and we were fine.�


“It’s the car!� McGee shouted to Gibbs as He and Sasha made it to him.

“It’s wired to-� Sasha added but was cut off by the loud sound of the car exploding behind them.

“Tony!!!!� Sasha yelled at him as he limped towards them.

“Boss, you remember when I said I never felt better?  I lied.� Tony said gasping for breath.
* * *

“No, I need to get back to work, Ducky.� Tony argued with the medical examiner as Ducky fused over him and ordered him to go home.

“Damn it, Tony.  I should just take you home and get you in bed.� Tony and Ducky stared at her open mouthed and Tony feared she’s just inadvertently told Ducky about their relationship “Okay, that didn’t come out the way I intended.� She said.

“What didn’t, Sasha?� Gibbs asked as he entered autopsy.

“Oh, I was just saying….� She trailed off.

“She was just expressing our concern for Tony.� Ducky explained.

“Yeah?  How is he?� Gibbs asked.

“Stubborn, pig-headed, and unaware of his own limitations.� Ducky told him.

“Sounds about right.� Gibbs chuckled as he headed for the door.

* * *
“Are you going to be okay?� McGee asked him once he was back in the bullpen and Tony was lying down under his desk.

“Sure.�

“You’re not looking so hot.� McGee told him with concern in his voice.

“Well, at least that’s an improvement.� Tony told him.

“Over what?� McGee asked confused.

“According to Gibbs, I look like crap.� He replied sarcastically.

“You know Sasha has really been worried about you.� McGee said.

�Sasha worries about everything.� Tony said shrugging it off but he silently agreed with him.

“No, no, no.  I mean really worried.�

“What’s your point, Probie?�

“Well, I think that maybe… you know…� McGee trailed off.

Tony chuckled at how little his college knew. “Me and Sasha? It would never happen.�

“Why not?�

“She’s too smart for that.  You know what �" you don’t believe me?  She’s coming right now why don’t you ask her out for me and see what she says.� Tony suggested as he crawled further under his desk.

“Hey Sasha.� Tony heard McGee greet their co-worker nervously.

“Hi Tim, are you okay?�

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to you about…Tony.�

“Tony? What about Tony?� Even though Tony couldn’t see her face he could hear the worry in her voice.

“Well it’s just that well…I noticed how he looks at you and how you look at him…and Abby says you two belong together-�

“McGee would you just get to the point we do have work to do.�

“I…well…maybe you should just ask him out.�

“What! Me ask Tony out.� Sasha laughed. “No way he’s too immature for me I mean what kind of man gets his co-worker to ask his other co-worker out for him while he hides under his desk?�

Tony peered out nervously from under his desk and was met by Sasha’s glare before she poured a bottle of water of his head.

* * *

Gibbs had gone out for Coffee and left Tony, Sasha and McGee sitting at their desks discussing the case when McGee noticed they had company. “We’ve got trouble.� He said glancing at the elevator.

“What was your first hint?� Sasha asked him.

“The two dead bodies downstairs or the explosion, McGee?� Tony added sarcastically.
   
“No, I mean FBI trouble.� McGee said as Agent Fornell entered the bullpen.
    
“Fornell?� Sasha asked.

“We must be in worse shape than we thought.� Tony said as Fornell walked over to his desk.



"Eww what are the Fat Bald Idiots doing there?� Maya asked using the nickname Abby had helped her come up with for the FBI.

Tony chuckled. Maya had also inherited his dislike of the FBI. “Don’t worry the ‘Fat Bald Idiots’ won’t be there long just for now.� He reassured her.

“I hope so…� She replied,



“Where’s Gibbs?� He asked them.

“He’s not here.� Sasha told him.

Where is he, Agent Alexander?� Fornell asked her.
   
“He’s out.  Try him on his cell.� She told him.

“I did.  He’s not answering.�

“What’s going on?� Tony asked him.

“Ari Haswari is back in country.� Fornell told them.

“You let that psycho back in the States without telling us?� Sasha exclaimed.

“He was supposed to be helping us uncover an Al Qaeda cell in the D.C. area.� Fornell explained.
    
“What do you mean ‘supposed to’, Fornell?� Tony asked him.

“We now think he’s here for more personal reasons.  He’s planning on killing Gibbs.� Fornell replied.



“Wait a minute!� Maya exclaimed. “Who’s that Ari guy? Why does he want to kill Uncle Gibbs?�

Tony sighed. ‘How could he explain it to her without scaring her?’ “A big bad man tried to ruin Uncle Gibbs' life by hurting the people closest to him. The last time we ran into him he held Sasha, Grandpa Ducky and his old assistant Gerald hostage and shot Gerald in the shoulder when Ducky and Sasha tried to trick him.�

Maya seemed too shocked to say anything she just clung to him open mouthed for a moment. “But you get him right? And Uncle Gibbs and Sasha are okay?�

“You’ll find out when I finish the story.�

“Well hurry up then!� She demanded.

     
“Please call me back.� Tony said into the phone before turning to Sasha. “That’s twenty messages I left.  We should look for him, McGee.�
    
“Look for who?� Gibbs asked as he walked calmly into the bull pen

“We’ve been calling you for the last hour, Boss.� Tony told him.
    
“Well, yeah.  My ringer thing got turned off.� Gibbs replied.
    
“You’re not going to believe whose back in town.� Tony said.
 

“Ari.� Gibbs answered.

“Maybe you will.� Tony shrugged.

“Fornell said that he’s here to…� McGee said.

“Yeah, I know.  I just had coffee with him.� Gibbs told them.

“So what happened?� Tony asked him eagerly.

“He tried to kill me.� Gibbs said simply before passing his cell phone to McGee to fix and heading up to talk with the FBI.


     
* * *

 “Gibbs!� Sasha exclaimed suddenly as she woke up with a start after falling asleep at her desk. She had been put on protective detail for Gibbs and was obviously concerned about him if she woke up calling his name. It made Tony slightly jealous.

“You dream about Gibbs?� Tony asked her curiously.

“What?  No.  God no.� She replied.

“You just said his name.� Tony pointed out.

“No, I didn’t.�

“Yes, you did.�

“What’s going on?� McGee asked them.

“Sasha dreams about Gibbs.� Tony replied.
   
“Oh, what was it about?� McGee asked her.

“No, I didn’t dream about Gibbs.� Sasha repeated.

“She screamed his name.� Tony said to McGee.

“Really?� McGee asked. “Here you go.� He said to her as Gibbs entered the bullpen.

“Look, if you want to check out the defence contracting company with us today, you’re wearing a vest.� Sasha told him.

“I can live with that.� He replied.

“That’s kind of the point, Gibbs.�
* * *

“What do you got?� Gibbs asked them.

“A shot of our drone thieves from Danborn’s security footage from two nights ago.� Tony reported.
       
“The day the Lieutenants were murdered.� McGee added.

“Can you I.D. them?� Gibbs asked.

“Well, they’re both wearing ski masks, but check this out.  Maybe I’m paranoid, but does that guy look familiar?� Tony asked as he played the video on the plasma.
    
“You’re not paranoid.  That bastard’s Ari!� Gibbs exclaimed as the video showed Ari walking past.

“He’s not looking for an Al Qaeda cell.� Tony said.

“Hell, no.� Gibbs exclaimed. “He’s running it!  You get Fornell in here!�
    
“How much should I tell him?� Tony asked.

“Tell him he’s about to make the second biggest mistake of his life!� Gibbs ordered.
     

* * *

     
“Do you know how to work that if we have to jam the drone, McGee?� Gibbs asked him as they drove to Norfolk where they had discovered Ari was.

“Uh, well Abby explained it to me but I’ve got to be honest with you, Boss.  I…. I’ll figure it out.� McGee stuttered.
    
“What’s today’s date, Sasha?� Tony asked her.

“May twenty fourth.� She replied.

“Paula Cassidy’s ship gets back from the Gulf today.  We’re hooking up this weekend.� Tony told her.


“Hooking up?� Asked Maya,

“Uh, hooking up is what grown-ups do sometimes.�

“Is that when they rehearse?� 

“Sometimes.�

“But you were dating Sasha!�

“It was just an act.� Defended Tony,

   
“Well, don’t you think you should concentrate on that terrorist attack first?� She asked him.
    
“The whole Marine Amphibious Strike Group returns today, Sasha. Five ships all of them headed to Norfolk.� He explained.
    
“Tony, I doubt that a drone, even one packed with explosives, could do any real damage to a warship.� McGee told him.

“The piers will be packed with Navy families, McGee.� Gibbs explained speeding up.

“Welcoming them home.� Tony finished.


* * *

“Did you figure it out?� Gibbs asked McGee once they were at Norfolk.

“I did.� McGee replied. “The drone is on one of three radio frequencies.  It’ll take a few minutes to jam each of them.  But when I hit the freq, it’s on.  The drone should go off-target.�
   
“It’ll take hours to search these warehouses, Boss.� Tony pointed out.

“Give me the shotgun.� Gibbs ordered him. Tony handed it over to him and Gibbs fired it into the air making people shout in fright. “Tony, get the fire escape.  Sasha, with me.  McGee, start jamming.� He ordered as he and Sasha ran into the alley and spotted Ari on the roof. They started shooting at each other and they heard the sound of the drone engine starting. 


“Boss, they fired the drone!� McGee told him franticly.
    
“Jam it, McGee!� Gibbs ordered.

“I can do this.  I can do this.� McGee said to himself.
     

“One down, boss.  No visual on anyone else.� Tony said to Gibbs as they reached the roof and the door opened.    


“Let’s do it.� Gibbs said as they started shooting and the terrorist shouted in a foreign language.

“Clear.� Tony told them. “You know how to fly this thing?� Tony asked Gibbs nervously as they stared at the missal.

“No, but I know how to crash it.� Gibbs replied as more gun shots were heard and the drone crashed into the ocean.


“McGee, are you okay?� Gibbs asked him.   


 “I got one terrorist inside!  I don’t know if I got him, but he stopped shooting.� McGee replied.

“Hold your position.  We’ll flush him.� Gibbs replied.

“Okay.� McGee replied.

“I’m out.� Gibbs said as his gun ran out of bullets.

“Me, too.� Sasha replied. But she suddenly yelled “Shooter!� and dived in front of Gibbs but was shot in the chest and dropped to the ground.


“Sasha?!� Tony yelled running over to her. “Are you okay?�

“Ow!  I just got shot at point blank range, DiNozzo.  What do you think?� She replied sarcastically.
   
“You’re not going to be going to Pilates class tomorrow?� Tony replied sarcastically as she groaned in pain.

“Protection detail is over.� Gibbs told her knelling next to her.

“You did good.� Tony told her.

“For once, DiNozzo is right.� Gibbs agreed pulling her to her feet.

“Wow.  I thought I’d die before I ever-� Sasha said but she was cut off by Tony tackling her to the ground as another bullet grazed his shoulder.

“Wow.  I thought I’d die before I ever-� Sasha said but she was cut off by Tony tackling her to the ground as another bullet grazed his shoulder.

“So then what happened?� Maya asked him frowning with concern. “Was Sasha okay? Were you okay?�

“Yeah we were wearing bullet proof vests but they didn’t cover my shoulder and the impact of me tackling her or the bullet had bruised Sasha’s ribs. So we both lay there staring at each other for a moment before we heard Gibbs spin around, pointing his gun in the direction of a roof opposite us, where the bullets came from, but no one was there.


“DiNozzo, Sasha, are you okay?� He asked them without turning around.

“Fine boss.� Tony replied with a groan as he stood up. His head felt like the world was spinning and he was going to be sick, he stumbled trying to get his balance and luckily Sasha put an arm around him for support. He gave her a small smile in return.

“You don’t look fine DiNozzo.� Gibbs told him walking over to the pair and help Sasha share Tony’s weight. The walk off the roof and down the stairs to the bottom was awkward with Tony wanting to check that Sasha was okay and hold her and never let her go but he figured Gibbs would probably kill them both if he knew their secret.

Once they were down the stairs Gibbs helped Tony lean against the wall while he radioed McGee to tell him to call an ambulance.

“Are you sure you’re okay?� Tony asked her once Gibbs had gone.

She could only nod and he swore he could see tears in her eyes.

“Sasha seriously what’s wrong?� He asked her leaning towards her.

“Tony if you hadn’t seen that bullet I would be…� She trailed off.

“I know and you can thank me later.� He said making her raise her eyebrows.

“Tony, stop it.� She warned him. “Gibbs is right behind you. Not that it matters anymore.�

“What do you mean, how?� He asked shocked.

“It was kind of obvious when you tackled me to the ground.� She explained.

“I saved your life!� He reminded her.

“I know Tony I remember! But…�

“But what Sasha? Would you rather I let you die?�

“No Tony I’m thankful but just the look Gibbs gave me after like he knew.� She replied.

He sighed she was probably right. Either way they were gonna have to tell him eventually. He wanted so badly to be able to tell people Sasha Alexander had finally tamed Tony DiNozzo, to be able to proudly walk into work holding her and taking her home afterwards.

“McGee says the paramedics are on their way.� Gibbs said joining them.

They could only nod not knowing what to say. Gibbs ignored the silence and continued. “Sasha I want you to go with him and get yourself checked out just in case those ribs aren’t just bruised. McGee and I will meet you there.�

“Okay boss.� She replied as the ambulance pulled up beside the building. Two paramedics got out and after getting a gurney out of the back of the ambulance rushed over to Tony and forced him down onto it.

“Guys I don’t think that’s really necessary.� Tony complained.

“DiNozzo!� Gibbs warned.

Tony sighed and lay down on the gurney muttering complaints under his breath. Sasha carefully climbed into the ambulance after him and watched as the paramedics made sure Tony was secure before one of them hoped into the front and the other one sat on the other side of Tony to check his vitals.

Gibbs stared at them knowingly as they closed the doors and started to drive off once he was out of sight Tony reached over and gently held Sasha’s hand. She looked at him gratefully and squeezed his hand back.


They rode in silence to the hospital and then once they arrived the paramedics rolled Tony out of the ambulance where he was greeted by none other than Doctor Brad Pitt and Nurse Emma.

“Couldn’t stay away could you Mr DiNozzo?� Doctor Pitt asked him with a grin.

“Yeah I missed you, Emma and these uncomfortable beds too much.� Tony replied weakly.

Doctor Pitt laughed as he and a team of other doctors and nurses wheeled Tony inside and Tony took one last glance at Sasha who was being told to sit in a wheelchair by Nurse Emma.

He was taken to the ward and a nurse placed an IV into his arm while doctors rushed around him checking his vitals and his chart. He noticed that many of them just asked Doctor Pitt his medical history and he explained it to him while he glanced worriedly at Tony.

“I need an X-Ray.� Doctor Pitt ordered the nurse once she’d finished with the IV and then Tony was wheeled away again to radiology where they took an X-Ray of his shoulder.

As he was being taken back to his ward through the waiting room he noticed his team-mates and Abby sitting waiting anxiously for him. When Abby saw him she ran up to him and threw her arms around him making him wince in pain.

“Tony we thought you’d died! Sasha said she saved Gibb’s life by taking a bullet for him and then you saved her life by taking a bullet for her! That’s so brave! You’re a hero! Please don’t die a hero!� She exclaimed in one breath.

He smiled at her weakly. “Don’t worry Abs I survived the plague you really think one little bullet is gonna get me?�

She hugged him even tighter before the other ran over and pulled her away. “C’mon Abs the doctors have work to do.� Gibbs told her.

Tony glanced at Sasha and saw her makeup was stained from the fresh tears in her eyes. He wanted nothing more than to be able to pull her close and tell her everything will be okay but he just smiled weakly at her instead as he was wheeled back to the ward.

Doctor Pitt was staring at his X-Ray when Tony entered the room. “Right well you’re lucky the bullet isn’t too deep so we can give you some morphine and extract the bullet now but because of your recent encounter with Bubonic Plague we’ll have to keep you here a few extra days to monitor your vitals.�

“Lucky me.� Tony muttered as a nurse gave him the morphine and Doctor Pitt sat down next to his shoulder.

“Is that what the scar on your shoulder is?� Maya asked him tracing over it with her fingers.

Tony nodded. “They managed to get the bullet out and stitch me up quickly and painlessly. Then I was left alone with my thoughts until I heard a knock at the door and I turned to see Gibbs standing in the doorway his expression unreadable.


“Hey Boss! Where are the others?� Tony asked him eager to see Sasha again.

“It’s late I told McGee to take the others home and for them to all stay together in case that bastard tries to kill us again.� Gibbs said as he walked over and sat on the chair next to the bed.

“Do you think he will?� Tony asked with concern.

Gibbs nodded solemnly.

Tony sighed and turned to look at the ceiling.

“How are you feeling?� Gibbs asked interrupting the silence.

“Like I’ve been shot.� Tony replied sarcastically.

Gibbs glared at him and Tony braced himself for a head slap but it never came. He looked up at his boss confused.

“What?� Gibbs asked.

“Are you feeling okay boss? If I normally say something like that you’d head slap me.� Tony explained.

“You’re in hospital DiNozzo.�

“That didn’t stop you before.�

“You’ve just been shot.�

“I had the plague.�

“Would it make you feel better if I did?�

“Well…�

Before Gibbs could reply a faint buzzing coming from his pocket interrupted him and he nodded to Tony before pulling his cell phone out and flipping it open as he left the room.

Tony lay there staring at the ceiling for about half an hour before he realised Gibbs wasn’t coming back. Then he wondered if Sasha was okay and what could have happened if Tony hadn’t seen the sniper rifle out of the corner of his eye.

“Are you hungry?� A voice asked interrupted his thoughts. He turned to see Nurse Emma enter the room with a tray of food.

“Depends what you’re offering. I could really go for a large pizza right about now.� He replied.

She giggled as she set the tray down in front of him. “I’m sorry but that’s not on the menu.�

He sat up and lifted the lid off the tray but grimaced when he smelt the slightly stale scent of hospital food. “Why don’t they make this stuff more appetising? Prisoners get better food then this.�

“If we did people might come here for the food and we can’t have that now can we?� She replied.

“You might have a point.� He said as he picked up the spoon and shoved some green slop that could resemble mashed potatoes into his mouth.

“So Sasha was okay?� He asked Nurse Emma between mouthfuls.

She nodded. “Her ribs were bruised from where the bullet hit the vest but other than that she was fine.�

He let out a soft sigh in relief.

“You really care about her don’t you?� Nurse Emma asked making him choke on the slop in his mouth.

“What gives you that idea?�

“You took a bullet for her.�

“I would have done that for anyone.� He said defending himself.

“I can see the way you look at each other.� She replied.

“What way is that?�

“You care a lot about each other way.�

Tony grinned and Nurse Emma rolled her eyes before looking at the clock on the wall. “Oh look at the time I better get going but just buzz if you need anything.�

Once she was gone Tony pushed his tray of food away and lay back down, his thoughts drifting back to Sasha before sleep came for him and she filled his dreams.

* * *

The first thing he noticed when he woke up the next day was that last night’s half empty food tray had been replaced with a new breakfast tray. He slowly and carefully sat up noticing the morphine from last night had worn off, pulled the tray towards him and opened it to reveal some form of brown slop that was probably cereal. He held his breath as he took his first mouthful. But then he realised it wasn’t that bad so he managed to eat most of it but a blur of black suddenly ran through the door and threw her arms around her neck.

“Hey Abby.� He greeted her but then noticed that McGee was with her standing hesitantly at the door as if he needed an invitation. “Probie what are you doing here?�

“Uh...well…� McGee stuttered.

“He’s on protection detail.� Abby explained.

“What? Why?� Tony asked in alarm. “Are you okay? Is Sasha okay? Where is she?�

“Calm down Tony. Sasha fine she’s gone to relax with her parents for a while and I’m fine too. Ari tried to shoot me when I was going through some evidence that’s all.� Abby told him.

“Wow he sure is persistent with the whole wanting to kill us thing.� Tony exclaimed. What else is going on while I’ve been stuck here?�

“Well,� Abby paused while she sat down in the chair next to him. “Director Morrow was offered a deputy director’s position at Homeland Security and his replacement is Director Jennifer Sheppard. She seems nice but I think Gibbs and her have a past.�

“What do you mean?�

“They seem to know each other from somewhere and they have all that built up sexual tension like you and Sasha do.�


“What’s sexual tension?� Maya asked innocently.

“Umm… it’s when we have to pretend to go out.� Tony stuttered.

“Whatever…anyway then what happened?� Maya said clearly not believing him but prompting him to continue the story.


“Sexual tension? We are talking about the same Sasha, right?� Tony lied.

She raised her eyebrows and without even looking at McGee she suggested he go and get a cup of coffee.

“But Gibbs ordered me to stay with you for your protection.� McGee argued.

“I’m safe here with Tony and like anyone’s dumb enough to come after me now Gibbs knows.� She replied.

He sighed and walked out the door. “So what’s really going on?� Abby asked him once they were alone.

He stared at her for a moment completely taken aback. “What…what do you mean?�

“C’mon Tony I know they’re something going on. First she’s compromises her health to stay with you when you had the plague and then you save her life.� Abby replied rolling her eyes.

“I would’ve done that for anybody.� Tony snapped at her tired of having to explain himself. “Sasha dived in front of Gibbs does that mean they have sexual tension too?�

“Eww no Gibbs is way too old for her and besides he prefers redheads and Director Sheppard is a redhead. But back to the point Sasha is my best friend and you’re my friend too I just want you guys to be happy screw Gibb’s rule 12.�

Tony sighed he knew deep down Abby knew and even if she didn’t he couldn’t risk it getting back to Gibbs. A soft hesitant knock at the door saved him from answering her. They turned to see McGee standing in the doorway holding two cups of coffee and a Caf-Pow. “I...I swear I didn’t hear anything and I only just got here.� He stuttered trying to explain himself.

“It’s okay Probie you brought back coffee so we’ll forgive you this time.� Tony joked. “Come and tell me what else has been going on at work.�

“Well as Abby was saying we have a new director and while you and Sasha are away a liaison for Mossad is working with us on the case, well more like trying to prove Ari didn’t do it.� McGee said walking over and handing Tony a coffee and Abby her Caf-Pow.

“Her name’s Ziva David and I don’t trust her.� Abby added.

“Why not?� Tony asked her.

“She sits at Sasha’s desk.� Abby replied.

“That’s not a good enough reason to dislike someone Abs.� Tony reminded her.

“I know I just want the old team back the way it was.� She sighed.

“It will be Abs as soon as Sasha’s back and I’m allowed out of here.� He promised her. “How’s the case going anyway?�

Both McGee and Abby glanced at each other as if they were deciding what to say. Finally Abby turned back to him. “Well we found Ari’s sniper nest on the roof of the abandoned office building to the east of where you, Sasha and Gibb’s were. He didn’t police his brass and the casings matched Lapua .308s. But we didn’t find any bullets but we’re still looking. Gibbs is being surprisingly nice and he even called Timmy here, ‘Tim’. And later today I plan to go through the car and see if I can match any of the bullets to the 308s.� She finished with a sigh.

“I hope I’m back in time to witness Gibbs kill the bastard that caused all this.� Tony exclaimed.

“Yeah only if he’s allowed.� Abby said.

“Why wouldn’t he?�

“FBI still insisting Ari needs to be alive.� McGee explained.

Tony sighed “when will they get it through their thick skulls that Ari Haswari is the one who is trying to kill us?�

“I dunno Tony, but why don’t you contemplate that and that other thing we talked about while Tim and I go back to work and help Gibbs solve the case?� Abby suggested before giving him one last hug and walking out the door with McGee close behind her.

“Once Auntie Abby and Uncle Probie left did Sasha come to visit you?� Maya asked him. “Or call to check that you were okay?�


“No actually after they left the only people I saw for two days were the doctors and nurses. But then one day I woke up after having morphine to help me get through the night and Gibbs was sitting in the chair next to the bed staring at me sipping a coffee.


“Boss,� Tony asked sitting up stiffly and rubbing his eyes. “How long have you been here? How long have I been asleep?�


“About an hour,� Gibbs answered glancing at the clock. “And apparently all morning considering its now 1300.�


Tony slumped back. He had slept but his dreamed were plagued with visions of Sasha. He was so worried about her it made him dizzy. “How’s the case going Boss?� He asked trying to take his mind of her.


“It’s over Haswari’s dead.� Gibbs told him simply making Tony sit up abruptly.


“What? How? When?�


“He’s dead. End of story.� Gibbs said in the tone that made it clear that it was final.


“So how is everyone? Is…is that Mossad chick still working with us?� Tony asked trying to find a way to get the answer he really wanting without revealing too much.


“Yes Mossad has let Ziva stay in the team until you and Sasha return.�


“And when will that be?� Tony asked hopefully.


“Well you’re being discharged today.� Gibbs replied.


“Why do I sense a but?� Tony muttered.


“You’re taking that leave and going to see your sister. That’s an order!� Gibbs ordered with a glare.


Tony sighed. He knew it was pointless to argue with him unless he really wanted to get head slapped. “Where do I sign the papers?� He eventually asked, referring to the discharge forms.



“A doctor needs to give you one last check up before you sign.� Gibbs replied and Tony pressed the buzzer to let the nurse know he was ready. Nurse Emma entered instantly.


“Ah, you’re awake. How are you feeling? Do you need more morphine? Or some food?� She asked him as she checked his vitals.


“Like I’ve been sleeping for years. Yes please and can you get Doctor Pitt to some check me over one last time.� He replied with a grin.


She walked over and administered some morphine. “Certainly I’ll see if he can see you ASAP.� She told him as she walked out the door.


Once she was gone Gibbs turned back to Tony. “You’re things are already packed and once you’re dressed I’ll drive you straight to the airport.�


“But boss I haven’t even got a ticket.� Tony pointed out.


“We’ve already sorted that.� Gibbs told him reaching into his pocket and pulling out Tony’s passport and ticket.


“Boss…Boss you didn’t have to I have more than enough…I’ll pay you back...Thank you.� Tony stuttered.


Gibbs chuckled. “You can thank me my taking a break and returning to work in a few weeks good as new.�


“Sure boss.� Tony nodded.


“Tony.� A voice said interrupting them. They both turned to the door to see Doctor Pitt and Nurse Emma enter the room. “I hear you’re ready to be discharged today.� Doctor Pitt said as he checked Tony’s chart.


“Yup,� Tony nodded. “Where do I sign?�



The Doctor chuckled and handed him the forms. “Before you do I need to check that you’re okay and not gonna be back here in a week.� He put his stethoscope to his ears and listened to Tony’s heart and lungs, checked his wound and that he could move and walk without too much pain. “I’m prescribing you some i-proven for the pain but if it gets worse you are to return here immediately.�


Tony nodded and took the prescription before Gibbs handed him a pen and he signed the discharge forms. Once they were all signed he handed them back to the doctor. “I promise to take better care of myself from now on even if it means I won’t be able to hang out with you or see Nurse Emma’s pretty face again.� He said with a grin making Emma blush as she took his IV out of his arm before following Doctor Pitt out the door.



As soon as they left Tony jumped out of the bed with a grunt of pain, reached for his suit case and pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt. Gibbs watched him with a small smile on his face. “I have something I have to do but I will be back in an hour to drive you to the airport.� He told Tony as he stood up and walked out closing the door behind him.


Tony nodded, quickly got dressed and checked that he was all packed and ready for when Gibbs returned. Once he was satisfied that he had everything he reached for his cell phone which was on the bedside table and instantly dialled Sasha’s number. It rang a few times and then was answered by her answering machine.


He took a deep breath before deciding to leave her a message. “Hey Sasha, it’s me; Tony. Are you okay? I haven’t seen you since- since I got shot. Abby said you’re staying with your parents in Indiana. Look I miss you and I’m worried about you. Call me back when you-�. Someone calling his name interrupted him; he looked up and saw Gibbs walking up towards him. “Oh, I gotta go.� He quickly shut his phone and stood up.


“Hey boss, that was quick.� Tony said as Gibbs walked over and picked up Tony’s bag for him.


Gibbs merely shrugged as he walked out the door with Tony’s bag and Tony had to hurry after him. Gibbs led Tony to his car, unlocked it and placed Tony’s bag in the boot. He opened the driver’s door and got in with even glancing at Tony who also got into the car.


“So boss, when’s my flight?� Tony asked him once he had his seatbelt on.


“In an hour.� Gibbs replied as he started the car. Tony remembered he had his ticket and passport in his pocket; he reached into his pocket and pulled them out to look at them and check Gibbs was right and as usual he was.


The ride to the airport was uneventful. Tony kept checking his phone to see if Sasha had called him back yet and whenever he saw she hadn’t he tried to make polite conversation with his boss but without much success. By the time they reached the airport Tony knew no more about Gibbs then he did before the ride.


They found a park and Gibbs went to get a baggage trolley while Tony got himself and his bag out of the car and walked into the airport to see Gibbs walking towards him with a trolley. Tony gratefully placed his bag on the trolley and walked over to the bag check in.


“Well…Good luck DiNozzo. Look after yourself.� Gibbs said to him as they got out of the line and Tony was checked in.


“Thanks boss.� Tony replied as Gibbs reached out behind him, making Tony wince, expecting a slap on the head, but to his surprise Gibbs just gave him a pat on the back before walking away without another word.


Tony thought about calling Sasha again as he boarded the plane but then decided against it; he would ask his sister’s advice when he saw her.



The fight from Washington to San Francisco took a little over three hours and Tony spent most of that day dreaming about Sasha, before he knew it the pilot was announcing they were landing and to make sure all trays were folded, chairs were in the upright position and seat belts were fastened.


Tony was one of the first one’s off the plane when it landed. He then reached for his cell phone he began dialling Sasha’s all too familiar number but someone yelling his name out stopped him.


“Tony! Tony!� He turned around just in time to see-

Tony shook his head.


“Then who?�



His sister Alexandra ran up to him and pulled him into a hug that could rival Abby’s. He picked her up and looked at her, she was younger them him by two years but didn’t look it. She had brown long wavy hair and blue eyes and people said they could have been twins.


“Hey big-brother! How was your flight?� She asked him once he put her down.


“Not too bad.� He replied as they made their way to pick up Tony’s bag. “How’s Logan?�


Alex blushed and hung her head with embarrassment. Logan had been Tony’s best friend in high school and was now dating his sister. Things had been rough for a while with Tony not sure whether to kill him or congratulate him, but he realized that he should just be happy for them and he had warned Logan of the consequences if he ever hurt Alex.


“He’s great. Did I tell you he’s living with me now?� She told him.


“Wow. Really? That’s great. When did this happen?� He asked her giving her a small hug.


She hugged him back before reaching down to grab his bag. “Recently. At graduation.� She replied shyly.


He grimaced. “Sorry about not being able to be there.�


“Yeah well you got sick and then hurt yourself.� She replied sarcastically as they headed out the door and towards her car. A red Volkswagen Beetle. She unlocked it but instead of putting it in the boot she put it in the back-seat and got into the driver’s seat.


“I had the plague and I got shot.� Tony said defending himself. “Oh man I forgot you drove this thing. Couldn’t you have borrowed Logan’s car? This is just embarrassing!� He complained as he reluctantly got into the passenger seat.


“Yeah well this is punishment for not even calling me to let me know you couldn’t make it.� She replied, “Besides Logan kinda needed his car to get to work this morning.�


Tony grumped and complained all the way to Alex’s house. It looked like any other house in San Francisco, an old Victorian style, two stories, coloured in rich terracotta, and had a small garden out the front. He got out of the car and after retrieving his bag he followed Alex inside.


She held the door open for him and directed him up the stairs and into the spare room.


“I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner. Come down once you’re all unpacked.� She told him as she left the room.


He sighed as he checked his phone again to see if Sasha had of called him or even texted him back and threw his phone across the room in frustration. He threw himself down on the bed. What had he done wrong? All he did was save her life. What’s wrong with that?


He’d treated her like a goddess, stayed faithful, and even put her before his friends (against the ‘bro code’ 101, bros before hoes) but as soon as he saves her life she ignores him. Maybe Alex could tell him what to do. She was a woman, who better to ask then a woman. Yes he decided, he would unpack and then go downstairs and ask her opinion.


He sat up and reached for his bag. He started pulling out his clothes and stuffing them into the draws and put the few DVDs Abby (who he guessed had put in there when she was packing his stuff) had packed on the small bookshelf but then he noticed something in the bottom of the bag. He cautiously pulled it out before he realised what it was, the package Sasha gave him in the elevator to give to Megan Ryan. He sighed remembering that morning.

He stared down at the strange package wondering what could be so important that it had to be hand delivered. Alex’s voice calling him brought him out of his thoughts. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and shoved the package under his bed before leaving the room to find his sister leaning over two steaming pots in the kitchen.


“Mmm, smells delicious.� He commented as he walked over to her and leant on the bench.


“Thanks, I hope you like it.� She replied.


“What exactly is it?� He asked nervously as his sister had a habit of experimenting with food whenever he came to visit her.


“Spaghetti Bolognese; Mom’s old family recipe.� She replied making him grin. Their mum’s Spaghetti Bolognese was the best they’d ever tasted and ever would and only true DiNozzo’s knew the secret recipe. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. “Oh can you get that? It’s just Logan; he doesn’t have a key yet.� Alex asked him.


He obediently went and opened the door. Logan stood there for a moment before they embraced in a brotherly hug. He hadn’t changed at all since the last time they’d seen each other, he was as tall as Tony with brown hair and eyes, and a big warm smile.


“Ant. How you been? Ain’t seen you in ages.� Logan greeted him.


“Hey Logan. Great to see you again. I’ve been alright. How about you? Heard you finally shacked up with my lovely sister. Good for you.� Tony replied as they walked through into the kitchen to join Alex, as soon as Logan saw Alex he pulled her close to him and kissed tenderly making Tony feel a bit awkward.


Alex seemed to sense his feeling because she quickly pulled away and turned back to the pots. “Well dinner’s almost ready why don’t you set the table Logan?� She suggested and without complaining Logan went and grabbed cutlery and went into the dining room to set the table.


“You’ve got him well trained, haven’t you?� Tony commented.


“He just knows he has to do what I ask, within reason if he wants what’s best for him.� Alex replied with a grin as she grabbed some plates and began serving up.


Tony wasn’t sure what to say to that but he was certain he knew what she meant and didn’t need her to expand on her answer. Instead he helped carry the food out to the table.


After dinner they went into the lounge and Tony told Logan and Alex the tale of how he got the plague and then was shot protecting Sasha but skipped the details of their relationship �" he planned to talk to Alex about it once they were alone. Once the tale was finished they watched one of Tony’s movies before Logan went to bed saying he needed an early night, as soon as they were alone Alex turned to Tony.


“So who’s the girl?� She asked him sensing he needed to tell her something.

He laughed at how she could always seem to sense when he needed to tell her something or ask her advice. “Okay so you remember how I told you about my co-worker.�


“Sasha. Oh my god. You finally asked her out.� Alex exclaimed excitedly.


“Yeah we’ve been dating for a while. I even told her I loved her and I do.�


“Wow, impressive.�


“Yeah I know, but things have gotten a bit more complicated. She freaked out when I saved her life, she thinks that by saving her life I exposed our relationship to Gibbs and she was really upset about it. She left abruptly to see her parents and isn’t answering my calls or texts I just don’t know what I’ve done or how to fix it.� He explained.


Alex moved closer and gave him a hug. “Well Tony as much as you love and care about her it sounds like she needs her space. Give it a few weeks and then see what happens.�


He nodded. “I think I might head to bed now.�



“So then what happened? Did you go upstairs to find you had missed calls from her and texts telling you how much she misses you and loves you?� Maya asked him eagerly. “What about the package?�


“No I went to bed without another thought about Sasha or the strange package and didn’t think about them for a week until one day I was cleaning my room and I found the package again.�



Tony stood up and sat down on the bed without taking his eyes off the package. What was it? Should he look at it? What was so important it had to be hand delivered? Would Sasha still want him to give it to Megan even though she wasn’t talking to him?

* * *



For the next week every spare moment he had he stared at the package whether he was alone in his room or with Alex or Logan.


Late one night the mystery of the package was bugging him so much that he had to get out of bed and go downstairs to get a warm cocoa and stare at it.


He was sitting at the dining room table having the familiar debate over whether he should open it or not when he heard footsteps behind him and he turned to see Alex walking into the kitchen.


“What are you doing up?� She asked him making herself a cocoa.


“Hey Alex.� He said without taking his eyes off the package.


“Come on, you’ve been staring at that package for about a week now.� She pointed out taking a seat next to him.


“Couldn’t sleep either I take it?� He said changing the subject.


“No, I had nightmares and it’s always harder to sleep when Logan takes the night shift.�


“You really like him don’t you?�


“Yes and that’s the problem.�


“What do you mean?�


“Well it doesn’t really fit in with the plan.� Alex replied.


Tony laughed. Ever since she was a teenager Alex had this plan of moving to San Francisco and becoming a doctor and after working in Africa for a few years she was going to move back here and settle down and have a family. “Plans change.�


She put her mug down and stared him straight in the eye. “Open it.� She ordered him. “I know your dying to know what’s inside. Just her name alone, Megan Ryan, is driving me…Look at it! You’ve got a tear right there! I see it. C’mon though. You can do it.� She said watching him carefully tear at it. Finally he gave in and tore right into it. He unwrapped it to reveal;


“It’s a diary!� He exclaimed staring at it.


“Oh god. Let me see.� She said reaching for it.


“No! Stop! Stop right there!� He said pushing her arms away. “We’re not gonna read this. We can’t.�


“You can’t but I can since I’m a woman.� She pointed out as she quickly snatched it out of his hands, opened it and began reading. “The boy’s room is across from ours, their windows visible from ours. The evenings are hot and sticky. We are all half-dressed, pretending we can’t be seen by the boys. Some of us are bold. My new friend Sasha (who earlier today won the wet t-shirt contest) is sweet and embarrassed by it all, always waiting to see what I will do.�


She paused and he anxiously grabbed the diary. “Don’t! Stop! What’s wrong? Where were you okay? It’s our last night of summer vacation and the plan has been in place for days. Sasha and I are the last to leave, and as we reach the stairs I grab Sasha firmly by her wrist. She looks up at me expectantly and I know what will happen next. Do you?�


“I think I have a pretty good idea.� Alex said snatching it back out of his hands.


“Oh my god! What are you doing? This is good stuff!�


She ignored him and put the diary across the table out of his reach.


“Wait a minute.� He said as realisation hit him. “Is that my Sasha?�


She left the diary where it was and took her mug over to the basin where she washed it before heading up the stairs. “Good night Tony!�


“I can’t believe it! She’s a freak!� He said reaching for the diary.


“Put the diary down and go to bed!� She called behind her. Tony couldn’t help himself, as soon as he heard Alex’s bedroom door close he grabbed the diary and didn’t put it down until the next morning when he’d finished it.

* * *


He made breakfast for himself and once Alex was up he didn’t mention the diary but instead they spent the day together watching movies and gossiping like they hadn’t done since they were children.


“Hey since its Friday and neither Logan nor I have work until Monday what do you say to a night out at the local pub?� Alex said to him between movies.


“Yeah that sounds like fun.� Tony agreed.


So later that night they met up with Logan at a small pub near the hospital where Alex worked, it started off with a few quiet drinks with some of Alex’s friends but a few soon
turned into Tony buying the entire bar a round and before he knew it he was sitting in a quiet corner away from everyone else dialling Sasha’s number waiting for her all too familiar answering machine. But to his surprise she answered.


“Hello?�


“Hey! It’s me Tony.� He told her proudly.


“Is that Sasha?� An extremely drunk Alex asked him. “Hi, Sasha!�


“What’s all that noise?� Sasha asked him.


“Nothing; it’s just my idiot sister making fun of me because she doesn’t have a beautiful girlfriend she’s eternity devoted to!� Tony said loudly making Alex give him the thumbs up before walking back over to Logan.


“You’re drunk.�


“You’re beautiful.�


“Tony, don’t.�


“Why Sasha? I thought you loved me! I thought we were happy. What changed?� He said getting frustrated.


“It’s complicated Tony.�


“No it’s not Sasha. Just tell me what the hell’s wrong.�


“I will Tony. Here, I tell you what; call me when you’re sober and we’ll meet up.� She told him angrily before she hung up on him.

* * *


The next morning he woke up feeling extremely ill with an extremely sore head. He grumbled as he made his way downstairs and into the kitchen to get some coffee and some pain killers. He found Alex and Logan sitting at the dining room looking as bad as he felt. He grabbed the pain medication and coffee is so desperately required and sat down at the table.


He spent the rest of the weekend sleeping off the hangover.



“Wait. Stop. You drank!� Maya exclaimed shocked. “And what is a hangover?�


“Umm, it’s god’s punishment for people who drink.� Tony explained hoping she believed him.


“Yeah…so then what happened? Did you call Sasha back? Did you take the diary to Megan?�


“You’ll see…anyway;�


* * *


Tony woke up feeling refreshed on Monday morning ready for anything, that was until he went downstairs and found the house empty and a note from Alex on the dining room table reminding him she had work and suggesting that he rewrap the diary and take it round to Megan Ryan’s place.


He sighed knowing she was right so he rang Megan to ask if he could drop off the package and organised a time, had a quick piece of toast and a cup of coffee before searching the house for something to wrap the diary in.


It took him all morning until he finally found some old jelly bean wrapping paper and then after wrapping it up he realised he was running late. He rushed out the door (almost forgetting the diary) and called a cab.


After a long and anxious cab ride he eventually arrived at the apartment block he was looking for he quickly paid the driver and nervously walked into the building and up the old creaky stairs until he came to the right door.


He knocked cautiously and was surprised when he heard a gruff voice call out: “Who is it?�


Tony gulped before answering. “Tony DiNozzo. I called earlier.�


“You a Jehovah’s Witness?� The gruff voice asked.


“No.�


“Christ your tall.� The gruff voice commented as whoever was inside unlatched the door.


“Hi.� Tony said to the man who was standing in the doorway wearing only a dressing robe. He was probably in his early forty’s and had light brown hair and brown eyes. He squinted at Tony closely before telling in to come in and to shut and lock the door behind him.


“Megan said to hang tight. She’ll be back. She wants you to wait.� The man told him before glancing at the package in Tony’s hands. “What do you got in there?�


“I don’t know.� Tony lied. “Who are you?�


“Me? I’m a man.� The man replied with a grin as he walked into the bedroom and returned with a cigarette in his mouth. “Drink?� He asked Tony.


“No. No. It’s a little too early for me.� Tony replied politely.


“Early. You’re fresh off the boat aren’t you?� The man asked him as he walked into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of whiskey. “So tell me about yourself. What’s your deal? What do you aspire to? What are your dreams? What are your fancies? What do you want to be when you grow up? Sit down!�


“Okay.� Tony obeyed taking a seat.


“What do you do now? You…� The man continued. “Wait, don’t tell me. You work for your daddy.�


“No.�


“No, don’t tell me! Wall Straight. No! You kiss ass for some fancy uptown law firm.�


“Actually-�


“No! I give up. What do you do?�


“I’m a federal agent. I work at NCIS.�


“No.� The man jumped back in mock surprise. “I know what NCIS is. Yeah in fact I even know more about it then the people who run it.� He said as he handing Tony a glass and poured some whiskey into it.


“Really?�


“Yep.�


“What do you do?� Tony asked him intrigued by this strange man.


“What do I do? I drink!� He replied as he filled up his own glass and ordered Tony to drink with him. “Drink! Be a man!� and with that he hastily skulled his own drink and refilled it while Tony slowly drunk his own cautiously.


“There you go!� The man congratulated him as he skulled the last mouthful. “Isn’t that better?�


Tony nodded as he held it in his mouth for a moment not sure whether to swallow.


“Swallow!� The man ordered him and Tony did obediently as the man refilled the glass. “So tell me about NCIS.�


* * *


“Hey. Wake up.� A voice whispered to him making his eyes open to stare at a beautiful woman who looked to be around the same age as him staring at him with curious blue eyes, She had long straight blonde hair that went down to her shoulders.


He stretched and sat up watching her take the empty bottle of whiskey into the kitchen. “You want some aspirin?� She asked him.


He nodded and she went into the kitchen and returned with the aspirin and a bottle of water.


“You must be Tony.� She said to him.


“Hi.�

“I see you drank my boyfriend under the table.� She said as he glanced to the now unconscious man lying on the couch.


Tony almost chocked on his water. “He’s your boyfriend?�


Megan chuckled. “Why so surprised?�


“Uhh…�


“He’s my boss.�


“Oh.�


“What did he tell you?� She asked him curiously as she carefully moved the man’s legs and sat down on the couch next to the man.


“He was telling me how to be a real man as opposed to the sort of boy-man I seem to be.� Tony replied.


She raised her eye brows curiously. “Did you learn anything?�


“Yeah there’s a lot of drinking involved. Also cursing and fighting.�


“Sex?�

“Yes. Although that’s not what we real men call it.�


“What do you call it?�


“I have something for you.� Tony said changing the subject and reaching down to pick up the package. “This is from Sasha.�


“Haven’t talked to her in ages.� Megan said as Tony handed her the package and she began to unwrap it.


“We’re sort of dating.�


“Uh-huh.� She replied. The man suddenly stuck a foot in her face. “Oh, please! Daddy...� She complained laughing. “Oh, come on! No.� She said looking at the diary. “Oh, this is…� She trailed off as she read through it. She looked up at him when she realised what was in it. “Did you read this?�


“I didn’t.� He lied.


She glanced at him clearly not believing him.


“I read a page.� He admitted.


“A page.�


“Two pages at the most.�


“Two?�


“And the part about you and Sasha touching each other and kissing.�


“Oh! That part, yeah.�


“Incredibly descriptive. I felt like I was there.� He complimented her. “You’re a great writer I mean…�


“I think you should keep it.� She said throwing it at him. “You should read it when you’re lonely.�


“I can’t. It’s your diary, so I can’t do that.�


“No, really, really. I just, I don’t need it.�


“I’ve already got it memorised, and Sash would kill me if she saw it, so I’ll just leave it on the table.� He joked as he stood up. “Keep a hard copy. That might be nice for me.�


They laughed, before she glanced seriously at him again. “I wonder why Sasha gave it to you to give to me.�


“Hmm.�


She turned to the man still unconscious on the couch and slapped his leg. “Stark.�


“Stark?� Tony wondered if he’d heard right.


“Are you gonna join us?� Megan called to him again.


“That’s Sebastian Stark,� Tony stated as realisation hit him. “He’s a charismatic, supremely self-confident defence attorney�


“Yeah.�


“You…� Tony said as he realised another detail.


“Yeah. We do.� She replied simply. “Look have you ever actually had sex with a sexagenarian?�


He shrugged. “I haven’t.�


“Well, then you shouldn’t really judge.�


“Well actually, I’m not judging. Look at you. You’re beautiful. You’re sophisticated. You’re a very talented writer.� He said with a wink,


“Thank you.�


“I mean, to please a woman like you it would obviously take a-�


“Real man.� She said pointing at Stark.


“Exactly; hard to compete with that.�


“Well, unless you’re the competitive type.�


He stood there for a moment unable to speak. Once upon a time he would’ve jumped at the chance to sleep with a woman like her but not now he’d met Sasha. “I better go.� He told her heading for the door.


“Yeah, it was nice to meet you.�


“Yeah it was great meeting you too.� He said as he stepped out the door. “I feel horrible about taking the-� He was stopped when she stepped close to him and kissed him passionately on the lips.


“Sorry.� Megan said when she pulled away, “I was just curious. Stark encourages me to cultivate my curiosity. He says it’s the key to being a good defence lawyer.�


“Yeah.� Tony agreed.


“Megan!� Stark called from inside. “Daddy’s hungry!�


“Speak of the devil. Better go. Yeah.� Megan told him.


“Hmm.�


“Where the hell are you?� Stark called again.


“Okay, bye.� She said as she walked back inside the apartment.


“Bye.�


“Yeah, give us a call sometime. We should all go out for dinner.� She said to him before she closed the door a little.


“I’d…Yeah, I’d love dinner.�


“Yeah.�


“Hey!� Stark called again.


* * *


“Are you gonna call her?� Alex asked him when he returned to her place and told her what happened.


“Are you insane?� He asked her.


“Well, what are you gonna do?�


“What am I gonna do? I’m gonna keep my eye on the ball. I’m gonna sort stuff out with Sasha. We have a future together.� Tony told her.


“Which you hope may involve some type of threesome now? Or foursome if that old dude is still in the picture.�


“You’re not helping. I never should’ve opened that diary. It’s like Pandora’s hot, sexy box.�



“What’s a threesome?� Maya asked him.


“What?� He asked.


“A threesome.� She reminded him.


Tony gulped. He’d been so caught up in the story he’d forgotten that he was telling it to his ten year old daughter. “That’s a game that adult’s play sometimes …when they’re bored.�


She considered this for a moment. “Whatever. So what happened with Sasha?�


“Nothing. I wanted to wait till I got back to DC to call her and organise to meet up, and then I decided to do something really dramatic.�

* * *



Late that night after Alex and Logan had both gone to bed Tony pulled out his cell phone to call Sasha but as he was about to start dialling her number the cell phone started to ring. He stared at it for a moment before he realised he better answer.


“Hello?�


“Agent DiNozzo?� A female voice asked.


“Speaking. Who is this?� Tony asked cautiously.


“Director Jennifer Sheppard.�


Tony felt like he was unable to speak. Why was the new director of NCIS ringing him? Maybe he was being fired? He gulped before asking, “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you calling me Madam Director?�


“Director Sheppard.� She corrected him. “I’m sorry to disrupt your leave, but you are needed here urgently.�


“Why?�

“You will find out when you arrive.�


“Okay I’ll catch the first flight out of here and be at NCIS tomorrow.�


“Thank you Agent DiNozzo.� She said before she hung up leaving Tony to stare blankly at his phone for a moment before he remembered he desperately needed to pack and he hurriedly grabbed his stuff, and after leaving a quick note for Alex he called a cab and left for the airport.

“Hello?�

“Agent DiNozzo?� A female voice asked.

“Speaking. Who is this?� Tony asked cautiously.

“Director Jennifer Sheppard.�

Tony felt like he was unable to speak. Why was the new director of NCIS ringing him? Maybe he was being fired? He gulped before asking: “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you calling me Madam Director?�

“Director Sheppard.� She corrected him. “I hate to do this but you are needed here urgently.�

“Why?�

“You will find out when you arrive.�

“Okay I’ll catch the first flight out of here and see you tomorrow.�

“Thank you Agent DiNozzo.� She said before she hung up leaving Tony to stare blankly at his phone for a moment before he remembered he desperately needed to pack and he hurriedly grabbed his stuff, and after leaving a quick note for Alex he called a cab and left for the airport.


Tony walked out of the Director’s office feeling more confused than when he was on flying back to Washington DC after getting a mysterious call from the new Director of NCIS.

Director Sheppard hadn’t told him anything only but she did welcome him back and told him to report immediately to Gibbs who wouldn’t be at work at 7am on a Monday morning so now he was just relaxing at his desk trying to catch up on his lost sleep.

He suddenly heard the elevator ding and hurried footsteps. He lazily opened one eye to see a beautiful olive skinned woman with her long black hair tied in a tight ponytail placing bags at Sasha’s desk before sitting down and turning on the computer.

“Wait. Who’s that?� Maya interrupted him.

He sighed. “That’s Ziva.�



“You mind telling me who you are and what you’re doing here?� Tony asked her even though he had a pretty good idea of who she was.

“Officer Ziva David. And I am sitting at my desk.� Ziva told him sighing.

“For what?� He asked her.

“To start work. Does everyone always come in this late?�

“It’s zero-seven hundred.�

“At Mossad we start at zero-five hundred.� She told him proudly.

“Okay, let me rephrase the original question. What the hell are you doing here, Officer David?� He asked walking over to her.

Before she could answer him McGee walked into the bullpen whistling a new tune. “Tony what are you doing back at work you’re not due back until next week?� He asked before he noticed Ziva. “Ah Ziva what are you here for? Weren’t you supposed to be back in Israel?�

“I see. Gibbs didn’t tell you?� She asked standing up behind the desk.

“Tell us what?� They both asked.

“Mossad’s assigned me to NCIS as a liaison officer. We’re going to be working together.�

“Does Gibbs know about this?� Tony asked shocked. As far as he knew there could only be for members in a team and there Ziva sat smugly at Sasha’s desk. He had a horrible feeling about this. He had to talk to Sasha soon.

“Do you think I’d be here if he didn’t?� She pointed out before turning to McGee. “Special Agent McGee. Hold that.� She said to the younger agent handing him a stack of files.

“Sure.� McGee said taking the files.

“Hmm.� Ziva said as she unsuccessfully tried to open the desk draws “Anyone have a key for this?�

“That’s Sasha’s desk.� McGee pointed out.

“Okay, but if I’m going to be a part of your team I would love to-’’

“What!� Maya exclaimed. “But what about Sasha? She’s part of you’re team.�

“I’ll get to that. I promise.� He said kissing her forehead.


“Did Gibbs tell you about this?� McGee asked Tony.

“Nope.�

“Here are my orders. Signed by Director Sheppard.� Ziva said showing them the paperwork.

“You think Gibbs knows?� McGee asked the others nervously.

“I hope so. All my personal possessions are currently being shipped from Tel Aviv to Washington.� Ziva replied.

“I’d hold off on unpacking the waffle iron until you talk to him, Ziva.� Tony told her hoping Gibbs could put things back to the way they were.

“When does he come in?� She asked him.

“Now.� Tony replied as the elevator doors opened and Gibbs walked out and towards his desk but stopped when he noticed Ziva sitting at Sasha’s desk.

“Special Agent Gibbs.� Ziva greeted him

“Ziva.� He replied. “What are you doing here?�

“Looking forward to being a member of your team.� She told him. He glared at her before turning and storming upstairs to the director’s office.

“I stand corrected. It appears he didn’t know. . I feel very much like a donkey’s butt.� Ziva said as they watched him go.

“A donkey’s butt?� McGee asked confused.

“I think she meant horse’s ass, McGee.� Tony told him.

“Yes; that too.� Ziva said.

* * *

“Miss David will be with us for a while.� Gibbs told Tony and McGee, who was on his phone, as he and Ziva walked out of the elevator where they had been talking for the past five minutes after Gibbs stormed out of the director’s office. “That’s Sasha’s desk. Yours is down at the end.� He turned to Ziva who was walking towards the desk she’d been sitting at and pointed at another empty desk.

“He’s a tough one to read.� She muttered to Tony as she walked past him.

“You’ll find most NCIS agents are like that. It’s our training.� He told her.

“Is that a fact?� She asked him.

“Mm-hmm. We never let the other people know what we’re thinking.� Tony replied.

“Gas the truck, McGee. DiNozzo!� Gibbs ordered as he grabbed his gear.

“Yeah, boss!� Tony replied eagerly.

“I’ve got a murder in your area of expertise.� Gibbs told him.

“This happens a lot, me being a Senior Field Agent and all.� Tony said proudly to Ziva.

“I’m sure it does.� She replied sarcastically.

“What do we got, Boss? Multiple homicides?� Tony asked Gibbs.

“No.�

“Gang related?� Tony guessed.

“No.� Gibbs repeated.

“Defenestration?�

“The Civil War.� Gibbs said simply.

“I can hardly wait. That’s my favourite subject.� Tony said eagerly as he grabbed his gear.

“What about me?� Ziva asked Gibbs having not been given any orders.

“You’re coming along strictly as an observer. Hand over all your weapons.� Gibbs ordered her.

“Is that really necessary?� She complained making Gibbs glare at her. “Right.� She finally giving in and handing over her guns and knives which were hidden in places that Tony didn’t know could hide stuff.

“And your backup.� Gibbs ordered her.

“What backup?� She asked innocently.

“Left leg.� Gibbs told her.

“Oh. That one.� She said pulling a long sharp knife that had been concealed by her trousers from her leg.

“And the knife concealed at your waist.� He took it from her then handed it back, “You can keep this. I just want you to know that I know.� Gibbs told her.

“Wow Ziva sounds scary.� Maya said.

“Oh she was.� Tony laughed.


* * *

“Hey, not so fast!� Tony told Ziva as she sped round another corner in the truck. She hadn’t been given anything to do that day so Gibbs had let her drive back to headquarters while he escorted the body back with Ducky.

“I always drive fast! It’s the best way to avoid possible IEDs and ambushes.� She told him.

“You’re in America now. I wouldn’t worry about it. How about this? Slow down or I’ll puke on you.� He warned her.

“Tony, why don’t you like the American Civil War?� She asked him.

“I don’t want to talk about it.� He replied. He did kind of like Ziva but didn’t know her well enough to share that kind of stuff with her.

“It’s because of his father.� McGee told her.

“Was she talking to you, Probie?� Tony warned McGee.

“Oh. You didn’t get along with your father. Hm… explains a lot.� Ziva said.

“My father and I got along fine.� He said to her defensively.

“If you say so.� She said in a tone that showed she clearly didn’t believe him. “I think it’s best to talk about things instead of burying them inside.�

“What about you? Your father? Deputy Director David, what’s he like?� McGee asked her curiously but she ignored him and sped up.

“Slow down, we’re taking the next left.� Tony told her as she sped round the corner making the tires screech and the oncoming traffic honk their horns at her.

“Ziva, car! Car! Car!� McGee warned her.

“Sorry.� She apologised. “First time behind the wheel after a six month mission in the U.K.�

Tony vomited into his lap.

“I said I was sorry.� Ziva repeated.

* * *

“Ziva?� Tony asked her nervously as she was standing over his shoulder watching him.

“Yes?�

“First of all, don’t ever do that again. And second, what are you doing?�

“I’m observing you, Tony.� She replied simply.

“Any way you can do that in a less creepy manner?�

“Who is the woman with Gibbs?� She asked looking over at where their boss stood talking to a red haired woman.

“Yeah. Once you’re here long enough, you’ll figure it out.� He told her.

“Is that his girlfriend?� She asked him.

“I have no idea.� He replied honestly.

“You just told me that-� She pointed out.

“Well, you’ll figure out there’s some things around here you don’t ask about.� He replied cutting her off.

“Where’s Gibbs, Tony?� Ducky asked him as he walked through the elevator.

“Your two o’clock.� Tony replied indicating where Gibbs stood with a tilt of his head.

Gibbs seemed to sense he was needed and said goodbye to the woman before joining them. “What’s wrong, Duck?�

“I know how our Staff Sergeant died.� Ducky replied.

“From your look I’m guessing it wasn’t a musket ball.� Gibbs said.

* * *

“A Marine dressed as a Civil War soldier is shot by a musket and then buried alive in a one hundred and forty year old antique iron casket. And you’re telling me this isn’t your strangest case?� Ziva asked him as she looked at the photograph’s of the body on the plasma.

“Yep.� Tony replied as he ate his roll.

“Pretty much.� McGee agreed.

“I don’t know what I find more disturbing; your eating habits or the fact that I believe you.�

“I’m sorry; do our strange American foods frighten you?� He asked her sarcastically.

“Not at all. I was referring to your manners. You should have bought me one.� She replied as she reached over to Tony’s and stole a bite. He stared at her in surprise, how dare she steel his food!


Maya laughed. “She’s brave. You won’t even share your food with me.�


McGee laughed at them until Tony turned to glare at him. “I’m going to go help Abby.�

As soon as he left Ziva tried to steel another bite but Tony grabbed it out of her grasp just in time. But she managed to snatch it and when she offered it back to him he refused. “You sure you don’t want it back Tony?� He just glared at her.

“Most men usually don’t have a problem with my germs.�

He ignored her and went to get the information he just printed from the machine.

“I’ve got a lead on how our Staff Sergeant ended up in a Union Soldier’s uniform. He was a member of a local CW….� He turned around not realising she was standing right behind him. “CWR out of Fairfax.�

“CWR?� She asked snatching the piece of paper he was holding out of his hand.

“Yeah. Civil War Re-enactors. Guys, who get together, dress up in period costumes, re-enacting famous battles.� He explained.

“Why?� She asked reading the piece of paper.

“I’ve been asking my father that since I was ten years old.� He replied.

“According to this, they’re preparing for one of those battles this week in Manassas. Quite the coincidence.� She read out loud ignoring his attempts to snatch the paper back.

“In the immortal words of Leroy Jethro Gibbs, I don’t believe in coincidences.� He told her putting on his best Gibb’s accent.

“Is that a fact, DiNozzo?� Gibbs asked as he walked towards them.

“Hey boss. I was just telling Ziva about this lead that I-� Tony was cut off by Gibbs head slapping him.

“Yeah, I heard. Come on. Abby’s found something. Let’s roll.� Gibbs told them as he headed for the elevator.

“That’s an American custom. A form of affection.� Tony told Ziva trying to convince her by even slapping himself on the back of the head.

“It seems like “Shloshet haStooges� to me.� She replied.

“LIKE WHAT?� He exclaimed.

“Larry, Moe, Curly, yes?� She said doing an expression of some form of what looked to be some kind of monkey.

* * *

“Abs?� Gibbs asked with concern when they entered the lab and the Goth didn’t run up to them and hug them.

“I look like a freak.� She said to them as she came out of hiding and they saw why. She was wearing a polyester cotton pink suit, with her hair down and her glasses on. “Well?� She asked them.

“Oh wow. I can’t imagine Auntie Abby wearing that. It would just be weird.� Maya said.

“Yeah it was.� He replied.


“Whoa.� Tony said in surprise.

“See, I don’t think she really looks that bad.� McGee lied.

“Is she making a reference to that strange tattoo on her neck?� Ziva asked clearly not used to Abby’s normal dress code.

“Why?� Gibbs asked the Goth.

“One of the Director’s new admin weenies brought me this last night. It’s the NCIS dress code. He said I was in violation.� Abby explained looking like she was just about in tears.

“He did, did he?� Gibbs said clearly not happy that someone had made Abby do something she didn’t want to do.

“It’s bad enough that I have to wear a monkey suit for court appearances, but everyday?� The Goth complained.

“I think you look nice, Abby.� Ziva complimented her.

“Nice?! You think I look nice?! I look like… like…� Abby snapped at her.

“Career Girl Barbie.� Tony finished helpfully.

“Oh my god! I do! I can’t work like this, Gibbs.� Abby exclaimed hysterically.

“I’ll take care of it, Abs.� Gibbs told her honestly.

“I’m allergic to polyester. It makes me itch. It’s a medical condition. I could get a note from the doctor.� Abby told them as she grabbed Bert the hippo and hugged him close.

“Abby, I said I’ll take care of it.� Gibbs repeated as Bert farted.

“Don’t ask.� Tony told Ziva when she looked around puzzled by the noise.

“Can we get back to work now?� Gibbs asked.

“Do I have to wear the shoes?� Abby asked him refering to the black high heels she was wearing. She ran and embraced Gibbs when he shook his head before taking off the shoes and leading them over to the evidence.

“There were traces of Staff Sergeant Sorrow’s blood inside of the cover.� Abby told them.

“Most likely from when he tried to claw his way out.� Ziva pointed out.

“Since his fingers were shredded, that must have been really hard to figure out Agent David.� Abby snapped at Ziva, deliberately pronouncing her name wrong.

“It’s pronounced Dah-veed. Or you can just call me Ziva.� Ziva replied.

“I also found two very distinct types of dirt on the outside. One is red clay which is very common in Virginia. And the other had a high concentration of fertilizer.� Abby told the others.

“Tony, meet with the construction company that found this.� Gibbs ordered him.

“Zero nine hundred.� Tony replied.

“Take Ziva with you. See if there’s anything left of that crime scene.� Gibbs added as he walked out of the lab.

“On it.� Tony told him.

“Come on, McGee.� Abby called to the younger agent but Tony grabbed her arm. “I need to talk to you.�

She looked at him clearly confused before nodding and leading him over to a quiet corner away from McGee and Ziva. “What Tony?�

“Abs you’re Sasha’s best friend. Why’d she resign? I know you know.� He whispered to her knowing that Sasha would have told the Goth about their secret relationship and shared her reasons for leaving.

“I don’t know what you think I know.� Abby replied.

“Abby! Please I need to know.� He pleaded with her.

The Goth considered this for a moment before she gave in and whispered back. “Sasha resigned because she was offered a better job with the secret service. That’s all I can tell you, sorry Tony.�

He could tell she was telling him what she could. “It’s okay Abs I understand.� He told her pulling her into a hug. “Now let’s get back to work.�

She nodded and went over to help McGee.

* * *

Tony walked into the bullpen and over to his desk when he noticed Ziva had moved her things over to Sasha’s old desk and was handing something to Gibbs which looked kind of like a sketch book before walking towards the elevator.

Tony quickly packed up his stuff and said goodnight to Gibbs before running to join her. He got there just as the doors were closing but she stopped them just in time.

“Thanks.� He said to her.

“You are welcome.� She replied.

“So what are your plans for tonight?� He asked her cautiously.

“Well since I have only just moved into my apartment I was planning to unpack.� She answered. “Why do you ask?�

He gulped. “I was wondering if you’d like to have a drink with me.�

She looked at him like she was trying to guess what his intensions were. “Like a date?�

“No, no, I have a girlfriend. I mean you’re new here and you don’t know a lot about America and maybe you needed a tour guide?�

“Oh, yes. That would be nice.�

“There’s a bar not far from here.� He said as he wrote down the address. “I’ll meet you there in an hour.�

She nodded. “I’ll see you then.�

“So then what happened? Did you meet up and drink?� Maya asked him accusingly.

“Yeah we did.�

Tony got to the bar early and decided to wait outside for Ziva in case she couldn’t find it. He had called Sasha at home and arranged to meet up with her next week when she was in Washington, and he wanted something to get her off his mind. He glanced at his watch Ziva was ten minutes late, he began to look around anxiously. A tap on the shoulder made him jump around and reached for his gun before realising it was just Ziva.

“Please don’t do that again.� He asked her.

“Why not?� She asked him innocently.

“It gives me the creeps.� He replied.

“I cannot help that.� She told him as she walked over to the bar door and opened it for him.

He sighed deciding it wasn’t worth arguing over and followed her inside. “So this is what an American bar looks like.� She said in amazement.

“Yeah, don’t you have bars in Israel?� He asked.

“Yes but they are…different.� She replied.

He asked her to get a table while he brought them drinks. She was still looking around the bar in amazement when he returned.

They sat in a quiet corner for a bit and Tony told her about previous cases he’d worked. He sighed at the memory of Sasha.

She stared at him for a moment before asking, “So you and Sasha had a relationship?�

He felt himself pale. He hadn’t told her that. How’d she know? “Well…It’s complicated.�

“How?�

“Gibbs has these rules about dating your co-worker.� He explained.

“Oh…So you had to keep it a secret?�

“Yes. But then she was all weird after I saved her life…But I have a way to fix it.�

“Oh, are you going to propose?� She guessed.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box. “Yes.�

“He opened it to reveal a stunning white gold ring with a small but noticeable diamond in the centre.

“Wow.� Maya exclaimed.

“Wow.� Ziva exclaimed as he handed the box carefully to her and she examined the ring.

“She gets it next week. I made a reservation at the Italian restaurant where we went for our first date.� He told her proudly.

“You are doing it in front of a room full of strangers?�

“Yeah, I am. What’s wrong with that?�

“Nothing. I think it shows confidence. What are you going to say?�

“I’m still working on it. I don’t know.�

“Oh, you should work on it with me. We can go to a secluded place outside and you can practice with me. I am really good at that. I will be Sasha.� She said standing up. He nodded realising he didn’t have much choice and followed her outside and down the road where there wasn’t anyone around.

She walked away from him a bit before turning to face him. “I am Sasha, your girlfriend. Is there something you wanted to ask me?�

“Sasha…� He started nervously. Not exactly sure why he was doing this with Ziva who he barely knew.

“Wait! Is not it custom to get down on one knee?�

“No, I’m not getting down on my knee.�

“She will like it. She will like seeing you down on your knee.� She insisted.

“I’m not getting down on my knee.� He repeated stubbornly.

“Such a mistake.� She muttered. “Okay.�

“Sasha.�

“Yes, Anthony.� She said in a put on girly voice.

“Don’t make me laugh.� He warned her. “Sasha, will you, um, marry me?�

“No.�

“Oh, my god.� He sighed.

“What do you mean, ‘Will you, umm, marry me?’ I have not seen you in weeks! You do not look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You are asking me to give up my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you anyway? I mean, why do you want to marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfil an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?�

“Oh!� He chuckled. “Oh, my god!�

“You should have got onto your knee!�

“Just shut up!� He snapped at her and she bit her lip. “Here. I wanna marry you because you’re the first person that I wanna wake up in the morning and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight.� He gently held her hand, “Because the first time I saw these hands, I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly when you love someone as much as I love you getting married is the only thing left to do. So will you…Um…Marry me?�

“Definitely.� Ziva nodded. “Maybe. I have to think about it. I better go it’s getting late.� She said as she walked off into the darkness.

Maya suddenly reached up and clutched his arm, “please tell me you rushed after her and stopped her? Or at least made sure she got home safely?�

Tony chuckled. “No I didn’t.�

“Why not?�

“If you met Ziva you’d see she doesn’t need protection.� Tony explained.

“But you still should’ve gone with her.� Maya insisted. “Did she mention it at work? What happened with Sasha?�

“No actually I got into work the next morning she hadn’t arrived yet and it was just me and Uncle Probie.


“Hey, finish that database yet, Probie?� Tony asked the younger agent.

“Yesterday.� McGee replied.

“Well then it should have been on my desk yesterday, shouldn’t it?� Tony told him.

“I didn’t realize a compilation of nudie bars was that urgent.�

“Well, it is.�

“Why?�

“I don’t have to explain myself to a junior agent.�

“Okay, is this work related because..?� McGee trailed off.
    
“But I will just this once.� Tony said giving in. “It’s a mercy mission, Probie.  A buddy of mine is getting married to a particularly unpleasant beast of a woman.�
    
“So?� McGee asked.


“So?  So the memory of his bachelor party will be the only thing that sustains him through the rest of his miserable existence.� Tony replied his mouth open in mock surprise.
    
“I will print it out as soon as I’m free okay.� McGee told him.

“On behalf of men everywhere we thank you, Probie.�
      
“A sailor was shot on Route Two Forty Nine.  Tony, grab the gear.  Green Acres -- gas the truck.  Where the hell is David?� Gibbs said as he walked into the bull pen.
    
“Ah, Boss, Officer David is… uh…� McGee stuttered.

He was saved from having to continue when Ziva rushed into the bullpen and over to her desk. “Late.  I took the wrong bus this morning.  Had to walk from the Eighteenth Street stop.�
    
“That’s a tough part of town.� Tony pointed out.

“I’ve been in worse.  Won’t happen again, Gibbs.� She apologized.

“I know.� Gibbs replied.

* * *

“Special Agent Gibbs?� Hampton asked Tony.

“No, he’s the older gentleman with the smile on his face.� Tony replied pointing Gibbs out, his boss noticed and walked over to join them.

“Agent Gibbs, car’s in the crevice at the bottom.  The victim’s dead inside.  Lieutenant Hampton, Virginia State Police.  The last few yards are pretty steep.  One of the EMTs managed to make it all the way down.  The fire department’s bringing in special equipment to extricate the body.  It’s going to take a while.� Hampton told Gibbs.
    
“McGee.� Gibbs called to the younger agent.

“Yeah.� McGee said as he walked over to them.

“Sketch.� Gibbs ordered him. “Get close enough without breaking your neck.�

“On it.� McGee replied as he walked off.

Gibbs turned to Tony. “DiNozzo, photos.� He ordered him but stopped when Tony didn’t move. “Is there a problem?�
    
“You didn’t say anything about my neck.  But I’ll be careful.� Tony explained as he walked off.

* * *

“Preliminary trajectory shows that the bullet passed straight through the driver’s side window.  So I recommend we search the area along this path looking for spent brass.� McGee suggested.

“You won’t find it.  Nine millimetre rounds are slow and only accurate to about thirty meters.  The shooter was in a moving car that pulled up alongside.� Ziva pointed out.
   
“Yeah, that is one possibility, Ziva.  But, you see, we’re investigators, which means we investigate things.  We don’t assume.� Tony told her.
    
“She’s right.  Wife said she heard the gunshot over the phone.  The shooter had to be close.�  Gibbs said as he walked over to his desk.
 
“Thank you.� Ziva said to their boss.

“What do we know about Petty Officer Smith?� Gibbs asked.

“Ah, ran his military I.D.  He was a clerk at Norfolk.  Had four months left before his discharge.� McGee reported.
    
“Tony, take Ziva with you and check with the C.O.  When you’re done with that, sweep the trajectory for brass.� Gibbs ordered.
    
“But why?� Ziva asked. "You just said…�

“Because DiNozzo’s right, too.� Gibbs replied.

* * *

“All of these people are in the military.� Ziva said in amazement as she looked around the Norfolk navel station.

“Yeah, the uniforms are kind of a dead giveaway.� Tony replied sarcastically.
    
“Then why aren’t they armed?� She asked.

“Because we’re in America, and the machine guns would just get in the way.� Tony explained as they walked over to the commander who was on a cell phone.

“All right.  Okay.� The man said before hanging up and turning to face Tony and Ziva.

“Commander.� Tony greeted him as he and Ziva showed the man their IDs.

“What can I do for NCIS today?� The commander asked them.

“I’m sorry I have to tell you this, Sir, but one of your men was killed this morning.� Tony replied.

The commander’s face paled. “My god, who?�

“Petty Officer Jerry Smith.� Ziva replied.

The commander’s expression turned from concerned to confused, “Smith?�

“He was shot on Route Two Forty Nine on his way into work.� Tony explained.

“I think you have my man confused with someone else.  That’s Petty Officer Jerry Smith right over there.� He said as he pointed over to a young man.


“Huh?� Maya exclaimed confused. “Petty officer Smith died how did he get to work?�

“That’s the mystery we had to work out.�



“Was transferred from Pearl about the same time I was, Agent DiNozzo.� Commander Morris told Tony while Ziva went to talk to ‘Smith’.

“You serve with him there?� Tony asked.

“Different units.  We never crossed paths until this Command.�

“What kind of a sailor is he?�

“Officially?  He’s never missed a day’s work.  He’s always on time.�

“I’m more interested in unofficially, Commander.�

“It’s not in my nature to be disparaging.�

“Well, I’ve got a body lying on a slab back at NCIS.  So by all means, disparage away.�
    
“I guess you could say Petty Officer Smith is not the brightest sailor that I’ve ever commanded.  Now that I say it out loud, the thought occurs to me that could very well be the reason that someone found it so easy to steal his identity.� Commander Morris explained.
    
“Can you think of any reason why someone would want to impersonate him?� Tony

“God no, Agent DiNozzo.  God no!� The Commander exclaimed.

* * *


“What do we have, McGee?� Gibbs asked.

“Um… uh… cell phone records are downloading now.  Okay, it looks like Petty Officer Smith… Petty Officer Smith in the car not the one on base who’s the real Smith-’’ McGee replied.
    
“Yeah, I got it, McGee.� Gibbs said interrupting him.

“Well he was definitely talking to Mrs Smith, if that is her real name.� McGee continued.

“McGee!� Gibbs snapped at him.

“Ah… he was talking to her at their home from his cell just before she called in the accident.  I’ve got an address here.  It’s an apartment in Newport News.  Lease is in the wife’s name.� McGee explained.
    
“Ziva, you’re with me.� Gibbs ordered her as he stood up and grabbed his gear.

Ziva was too busy talking on her phone to notice. “Possibly a point man for an operational reconnaissance of the Naval Base.  I-’’ But she was cut off when Gibbs walked past her and hung up the phone.

“That means you go with him.� Tony told her.
      
“Now.� McGee added.

“Preferably before the elevator doors close.� Tony continued as the doors started to close.

* * *

“Okay, the dead guy downstairs who we thought was impersonating Petty Officer Jerry Smith is actually the real Petty Officer Jerry Smith.  And that Jerry Smith Tony and Ziva talked to Norfolk turns out to be the fake Jerry Smith and… it’s confusing.� McGee reported to Gibbs once he and Ziva had returned.
    
“Kind of like the pellet with the poisons in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true.  Court Jester?  Danny Kaye?  Come on, guys, it’s a classic!� Tony exclaimed. “Thank you, Boss.� He said to Gibbs when he slapped him.

“Who is he, McGee?� Gibbs asked.

“John Kirby.  We lifted his prints from his desk at Norfolk.� McGee replied bringing the profile up on the plasma.

“His empty desk.  He didn’t report for duty today.� Tony added.

“He and Smith had overlapping tours at Jacksonville in oh-two.  Kirby was discharged in oh-three.� McGee continued.
   
“Honourably.� Tony added.

“Boss, these guys must’ve had this planned from the first day of Smith’s new assignment.� McGee told Gibbs.

“Think so, McGee?� Gibbs snapped at him. “I’m gonna need Kirby’s-’’
    
“Address.  He lives on West Little Creek.  Been there about a year.  And the warrant.� McGee replied handing him the warrant.
    
“DiNozzo, David, take a ride.� Gibbs ordered.

“You got it, Boss.� Tony replied as he grabbed his gear.

“Put a BOLO out on Kirby with the FBI, local and state.� Gibbs ordered McGee.
    
“Already done, Boss.� McGee replied.


“BOLO?� Ziva asked as she met Tony at the elevator.
    
“Be on the look out.� Tony explained.
    
“Good job, McGee.  Go on.  Catch up to them.� Gibbs said to McGee.

“Good job, McGee.� Tony mimicked Gibbs as the elevator doors opened.

“Is he always this juvenile?� Ziva asked McGee.

“Only on days of the week ending with the word day.� McGee replied.

“I’ll drive, Tony.� Ziva told him when they reached the NCIS car park.

“No, no, no, no.  Not gonna make that mistake again.�
    
“Did you really think my driving was that terrible?  Aside from the high speed and near misses.� She asked him.
    
“Let’s just say it’s an acquired taste, like regurgitated lunch.� He said sarcastically.

“That’s disgusting, DiNozzo.� McGee said.
   
“Tell me about it, Probie.  That chilli cheese dog was hard to chew the second time around.� Tony replied.

“Maybe we should give her another chance.  It’s not like she killed or maimed anyone.� McGee suggested.
    
“Maybe we should concentrate on why John Kirby switched places with Seaman Smith at Norfolk and leave Death Wish for another day.� Tony told them.
   
“He could very well be an assassin.�
    
“He works in a supply office.  Who’s he going to assassinate?  Mister Clean?� Tony pointed out.
    
“All the better not to draw attention to himself.� Ziva replied.

“She’s right.  It’s a big base.  Lot of targets.� McGee agreed.


“I don’t know.  Look at the guy.  He’s such a…� Tony trailed off looking for the right word.
    
“Pimp.� Ziva finished.

“Wimp.� Tony and McGee said in unison.
     

“Very much in line with other assassins.� Ziva said.

“She’s right, Tony.  Look at Lee Harvey Oswald, Sirhan Sirhan.� McGee pointed out as they all climbed into the car.

“That’s original, McGee.  Is there any part of your brain that’s your own?� Tony asked sarcastically.

“At least I have one, Tony.� McGee shot back.

“What’s that supposed to mean?� Tony asked turning around to face him.

“Nothing.� McGee muttered.

“We’re not going anywhere.� Tony said.

“What, until I apologize?� McGee asked.

“No, not until you apologize.  We’re in the wrong damn car.� Tony replied.

* * *

“Oh, I love Hawaiian shirts.� Tony said as they sorted through Kirby’s bedroom.

“I’m not surprised.� Ziva replied.

“It’s a cultural experience you couldn’t appreciate.  Isn’t that right, Probie?� Tony asked the youngest agent.  

“I wouldn’t be caught dead in one.� McGee replied.

Tony gasped as he pulled out another Hawaiian shirt. “It can’t be!!  Do you realize what we have here?�

“Another ugly shirt?� Ziva asked sarcastically.

“It’s an authentic Magnum, P.I.  Jungle Bird design.  Hundred percent cotton, bamboo buttons, Made in Hawaii label!  Come on, this is the Holy Grail of Aloha garments.� Tony explained.

“That’s great.� McGee replied sarcastically.

“Eight seasons Magnum wore this shirt.  Putting up with Higgins and those stupid dogs.  Zeus!  Apollo!  The TV show was big in the Eighties.� Tony explained to Ziva.


“Magnum, P.I. is so cool how can Uncle Probie not know who he is?� Maya exclaimed shocked.


“I know who Tom Selleck is, Tony.  The hot, sexy American man of adventure.� Ziva said.

“He was …he was good, sure.  But take away the shirt, the moustache, Detroit Tigers hat, Ferrari, the Audi, wine cellar, Robin Masters’ estate, Rick, T.C. and the helicopter.� Tony continued eagerly.

“Well, it looks like Kirby has not checked his email or even turned on his computer since yesterday.� McGee said looking over the computer.

“Once he saw us at Norfolk, he must have taken a kite.� Ziva said.

“Hike.� Tony corrected her. “The expression is taking a hike.�

“She may have had it confused with ‘go fly a kite’.� McGee pointed out.

“I speak five languages; forgive me if I get confused sometimes.� She told them as she went over to the desk and picked up a thin black book. “I found his bank book.�

“Check book.� Tony corrected again.

“Whatever you call it.  His deposits seem high.� She replied as she flicked through it.

“Where you come from, they may seem high but here in the good ol’ U.S. of A â€"’’ Tony said as he walked over to her, “these are really, really high.â€� Suddenly there was a banging noise coming from the kitchen.    

“I think it’s the-’’ Ziva started to say.

Tony stopped her. “Shh…� They walked into the kitchen with their guns raised, and cautiously opened the cupboard.

“It’s a-� Tony started to saying looking at the small monkey in the cupboard.

Maya started laughing. “It was just a monkey.

“It’s a marmoset.� Ziva told him.

“Actually, that’s a capuchin.� McGee corrected her.

“I don’t advise shooting him.  Americans and their pets.  It will be a public relations nightmare.� Ziva told Tony who still had his gun pointed at the small monkey.

“You knew all about this, didn’t you?� He asked her.

“I tried to tell you, but you shushed me.� She reminded him.

“Well next time try harder.� He ordered her.

“His name is Max.� She told him.

“Oh, ad a Snapple cap that said that the most popular name for a pet in the United States is Max.� McGee told them.

“That’s funny, I thought it was Tim.� Tony said sarcastically.
  
* * *

“Nah that really doesn’t work for him.� Tony said looking over McGee’s new outfit.

“Boss, for once I’ve got to agree with Tony here. I don’t think I’m a Hawaiian shirt type.� McGee told Gibbs.
    
“You’re the closest we’ve got to age and looks to Smith and Kirby, McGee.� Gibbs reminded him.
    
“This won’t matter if whoever he’s meeting with knows their faces.� Ziva said.

“No, it won’t.� Gibbs said. “But if it doesn’t, we just might get something. Which is more than we have now.  DiNozzo, you and Ziva will be here mobile on Granby, as far down as you can be while maintaining visual contact.  I’ll be over here on Harbour.  McGee, we do not know what we have here.  So go with the flow.  If it gets hinky, call it.�
    
“Hinky?  What’s hinky?� Ziva asked.

“You know, like when your gut is telling you something?� Tony explained.

“Oh, I see.  In my country we refer to that as gas.� Ziva replied.

* * *

“It was called The Transporter.� Tony said to McGee.

“Didn’t see it.� McGee replied.
    
“Cool British guy delivers illegal stuff for a price.  Obviously what Smith was doing, then what Kirby was doing, then what you were doing, Probie, only badly.� Tony explained.
  
“Yeah, I got the case, didn’t I?� McGee asked.

“You’re missing the point.� Tony replied.

“How could there possibly be a point?� McGee asked.

“I think what Agent DiNozzo means is that the Transporter would have gotten the case, gotten the girl, and still have held on to his cappuccino.� Ziva explained to McGee.
    
“Exactly.  Speaking of movies, you know what I was thinking about, Probie?�
    
“Really not interested, Tony.� McGee told him.

“Mister and Mrs Smith.  Identity mystery.  Then there’s our Smith.  Identity mystery.  “And if it turns out the guy charging porn and tractors on your credit card is a Smith, then that would be a mystery.� Tony told him.

“Uh... Tony?� McGee warned him.
   
“Not now, Probie.  I’m almost done with this level.� Tony continued but stopped when Gibbs hit him on the back of his head. “Find out what was in the case yet, Boss?� Tony asked Gibbs.
    
“Are we going to interrogate Kirby now?� Ziva asked Gibbs.

“No.� Gibbs replied.

“That is a mistake.� Ziva told him. “The longer we wait, the more time he has to-�

“I am going to be interrogating Kirby.  You and DiNozzo will be observing.� Gibbs said cutting her off before he walked towards the elevator.
    
“It takes a while for him to warm up to people, doesn’t it?� Ziva asked Tony as they hurried to catch up to him.

“Want to know the secret about getting on his good side?� Tony asked her.

“Of course.�

“Me, too.�

* * *

Gibbs and Ziva went to arrest the wife while Tony and McGee stayed behind.

“Thanks for getting me that info.� Tony said to the younger agent.
  
“It’s okay. I don’t really see the point of Bachelor parties though.�

Tony’s mouth dropped open in shock. “What! It’s like the last night of freedom and the perfect time to realise if you really should be getting married.�

“He’s right you know McGee.� A voice interrupted them. They looked up to see Abby standing in front of Tony’s desk. “Have either of you seen Gibbs?� She asked.

“Yeah, he and Ziva left to pick up Wendy Smith.� Tony replied.

“Oh, he’s on his way here.� Abby said with that knowing look in her eye. “Oh, Tony that reminds me there’s someone in my lab waiting for you.�

Tony frowned. “Who?�

“Go down and you’ll see.� Abby replied simply.

Tony shared a confused look with McGee as he stood up and raced to the elevator and down to the lab.

He walked through the doors to find Sasha sitting on Abby’s computer chair waiting for him.

“I knew Sasha would be back!� Maya said excitedly. “So then you asked her to marry you.�

“Well it wasn’t as simple as that.� Tony told her. “When I saw her just sitting there I wanted to run over to her and hold her and never let her go but then I also wanted answers from her.

Tony stood there for a moment staring at her before he found his voice. “Hey.�

"Hi..." They looked at each other, "Tony." Whispered Sasha,

"Sasha..." Tony whispered back, and he ran to her and pulled her into a passionate kiss,

Sasha pulled away. “It’s weird. I’d almost forgotten the taste of your tongue.�

“What?� He asked in confusion.

“Your tongue. I’d forgotten what it tastes like.�

“That is weird.�

“I remember now though.�

“Maybe you just need more reminders.� Tony grinned. “That might help you’re body’s senses remember me.�


“Why did she taste your tongue?� Maya asked, disgusted.

Tony laughed. “You’ll find out when you’re older.�


Sasha laughed. “Tony…�

He ignored her and moved to kiss her again but she stopped him. “Could we go for a walk?�

He nodded. “Yeah.�

“Just to get some air.�

“Yeah, you could tell me about your new job.�

“I would love that.�

They walked slowly through the park near the office where they used to run together in the mornings before work.

* * *


“So, did I ever tell you-� Tony started to say.

“I was gonna-� Sasha said at the same time. “Oh sorry. No go.�

“What?� He asked her.

“I was gonna say, did I ever tell you about the day my granddad proposed to my grandma?� He asked.

“No.�

“Well, Pop was on his way to meet my gran and propose, and he runs into his ex-girlfriend, Caroline Hopper. And they’re talking, they’re looking at each other, and all these old feelings, they start coming up. And he’s thinking,� He stopped to sigh, “I could run away right now with Caroline Hopper, be a happy man. All I have to do is kiss her. But instead he looks up, and sees my gran walking around the corner. And that moment he knows that he had no reason to be afraid. You understand?� Tony asked her

“Am I Caroline Hopper in this story or your grandma?� Sasha asked him. She gasped as he pulled out the little black velvet box. “Oh, my god! I’m your gran!�

He got down on one knee. “Sasha, when I saw you this afternoon-�

Sasha put her hands up. “Tony, please.�

“I knew-� Tony continued.

“Put that back in your pocket.� Sasha begged him. “Just stop, Tony, Stop.�

“With absolute clarity.-�

“Wait, wait, wait.� Sasha begged.

“I have no reason to be afraid-�

“Let’s think about this.�

“I’m not afraid of this. Just like the day that my-�

“Tony! I can’t do this!� Sasha yelled when she was sure she had his attention she sighed.

He looked at her in confusion. “I thought you loved me.�

“I do Tony. But this isn’t worth putting your life in danger for. You risked your job, your life for me. I can’t have you doing that. It’s why I left, not only did you risk exposing our relationship but what would’ve happened if the bullet had of killed you? You’re a good agent; don’t risk everything you have for me.�

He groaned. “Your killing me!�

“No, I’m not. I’m letting you go. Because if we stay together we’re gonna be miserable. I’m gonna hold you back from doing all these incredible things.�

“That’s not true.� Tony insisted.

“And eventually you’ll hate me for it.�

“No.�

“Yes. Tony I don’t want that, and you don’t want that. Trust me.� She told him as she stroked his hair behind his ears. “You’re gonna be just fine, Mr DiNozzo, without me.�


“Wow.� Maya whispered.

“Wow.� Tony repeated.

“How did you manage to go into work the next day?� She asked with obvious concern.

“I had to. Besides Alex’s birthday was coming up so I used that as a distraction.�


“Now listen, sweetheart,� Tony said to the girl on the other end of the phone, “I need a table on the terrace for Friday at nine o’clock.  It’s not negotiable.  Tell Valentino its Agent DiNozzo, we’re friends. Grazie, mi amore.  Ciao.� He hung up,
 
“Valentino’s, huh?  Must be a special occasion.� Commented McGee,

“I’m taking Alex for her birthday.�

“You know, I know a great place in Georgetown.  Just as romantic, half the price.�

“That’s a good idea, Probie, but I’m not taking Alex there for the romance.�    

“I’ve never seen you like this, Tony.  You must really like this girl.� Said McGee,

“Well, she’s got the whole package; beauty, class, sophistication. Plus she’s my baby sister. All that’s left is to decide on the perfect gift.� 

“I thought you gave all your girls Honey Dust.� Said Ziva
 
Tony turned, “How do you….?  Probie, something you want to tell me?� Asked Tony, glaring at Tim, “Probie, something you want to tell me?�

“It’s not my fault.� McGee told him.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Tony.  I find the taste of Honey Dust to be extremely erotic.� Ziva told him.
   
“What a coincidence, so do I.� He replied.

“I don’t.� Gibbs said as he walked over to his desk and grabbed his gear. “Gear up.  We’re heading to Dumfries.  A corporal’s wife is missing.  Local police think she may have been abducted.�
   
“What did I tell you about telling her about my personal life?� Tony muttered to McGee.
    
“I’m sorry.� McGee apologised. “She tricked me again.�

“Hey, next time, why don’t you tell her how I lost my virginity?� Tony asked him sarcastically.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that, Tony.  How does a fifteen year old boy go about meeting a coquette?� Ziva asked him.
    
“She means Rockette, boss.� McGee explained.

* * *

“Where did all these people come from?� Ziva asked as they pulled up in front of the house and saw that a large crowd of people were gathered outside.

“Didn’t you see the signs?  It’s yard sale day.� Tony explained pointing to the signs.

“I see.  And do Marines sell their yards often?� Ziva asked completely confused.
    
“No, it’s actually when people gather stuff they don’t want anymore, and sell it in their yards.� McGee explained.
    
“Why would anyone want to buy somebody else’s junk?� Ziva asked.

“One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.� Tony replied.

“In Israel, we have a saying.  Zevel Ze Zevel.  Crap is crap.�

“Her name is Jamie Carr.  Police got a call from the next door neighbour.  No one’s seen her in two weeks.� Gibbs told them as he walked over to them.

“Why are they assuming abduction?� Ziva asked him.

“Back door’s kicked in.� Gibbs replied before turning to McGee. “McGee, you take the perimeter.�

“On it.� McGee replied as he walked off.

“Ziva, check with the neighbour who called it in.  Tony, you’re with me.� Gibbs ordered before walking inside the house.

“Is there a reason I’m always the one taking statements?� Ziva complained.

“Obviously you’re good at getting people to talk.� Tony replied angrily.

“Don’t blame McGee.  I was merely being curious.�

“About my sex life?�

“About American customs.  Some of the men I’ve been meeting seem to be a little, how you say, uptight?� She replied.

“Define uptight-� Tony started to ask but Gibbs cut him off.

“Today, DiNozzo!�

“On your six, Boss!� Tony called to him as he rushed inside.


* * *
“Huh.  So much for gone but not forgotten.� Tony commented as he searched through the victims draws.

“Husband’s away at war, DiNozzo.  People cope in different ways.� Gibbs replied.

“She’s found at least one way to cope.� Tony replied as he held up a small vile.

“Careful.  You could poke an eye out with that.  Twist the end, Tony.  Haviar Christian Number Five.  It’s a perfume.  Big in France.� Ziva warned him as she walked into the room.

“Maybe that’s what I’ll get Alex for her birthday.� Tony said.

"It is two thousand dollars an ounce, Tony.� Ziva told him.
    
“Sounds steep.� Gibbs commented.

“Yeah, she’s not really a perfume kind of gal.� Tony told his boss.

“I meant for a Corporal’s wife, DiNozzo.� Gibbs replied.

“I knew that.� Tony muttered.

“I found some blood drops out back.  Hidden underneath some bags of mulch.  Looks consistent with a dragged body, boss.� McGee reported to Gibbs as he walked in.
    
“Where exactly, McGee?� Gibbs asked standing up and walking towards the door.

“On the concrete patio.  I taped-off the area.� McGee replied paling slightly as he glanced around the room.

“Something wrong, McGee?� Ziva asked him.

“He’s fine.  He’s just never been in a woman’s bedroom.� Tony said sarcastically.

“I’ve seen this room before.� McGee realised. “In a video clip.�

“Like a porno?� Tony asked.

“No, a girlfriend is always e-mailing me these internet videos.  She sent me one of this room last week.� McGee replied.
    
“Why do I find that hard to believe?� Tony said sarcastically to the younger agent.

“What, you never get forwarded weird videos to your e-mail?� McGee asked.

“All the time.  I meant the part about you having a girlfriend.� Tony explained.

“This clip showed a woman supposedly being murdered live on the internet.� McGee told them.
“Why didn’t you report it, McGee?� Ziva asked him.

“I um… assumed it was a hoax, a badly made snuff film.� McGee stuttered.
    
“You know what happens when you assume, McGee?� Tony asked him.

“Yeah.  Gibbs is going to kill me.  Again.� McGee replied glumly.

* * *
         
“This is the first I’ve heard about any snuff video.  I just knew that Jamie was missing.� Carter Finch. The man who ran the website that featured both woman told Tony an Ziva when they went to interview him.

“Not just Jamie.  Leanne, too.� Tony replied.

“Do you think it has something to do with the website?� Carter asked.

“Well, that would make sense now, wouldn’t it?� Tony replied sarcastically.

“How did you not see the video?  Don’t you run the site?� Ziva asked.

“Well, I maintain it, but I’m far too busy to watch all the content.� Carter replied.

“Well, I’ll bet you weren’t too busy to see the new Star Wars six times.� Tony said as he looked around the small basement and picked up a stuffed toy.

“Careful with that Wookiee.  It’s a prototype from nineteen seventy eight.� Carter warned him.

“Aren’t you a little too old for toys?� Tony asked.

“These aren’t toys, they’re investments.  There are only three seventy eight Wookiees equipped with an ammo belt, and I have one of them.  You don’t even want to know how much it’s worth.� Carter explained.

“You’re right.  I don’t.� Tony remarked.

“Six hundred bucks, but I’ll sell it for twice that online via Ultra Collectibles and Auctions-dot-com.� Carter told him.

“I see you are also saving money on rent.� Ziva commented.

“Uh, I can afford my own place.  I just live here for my mom you know.  She feels safer having me close by.� Carter replied.

“I’m sure you provide a high degree of protection.� Tony muttered.

“Tell us about Jamie and Leanne.� Ziva said changing the subject.

“We’re business associates.  I manage their website and in exchange, get paid a hundred dollars a week.� Carter explained.

Tony’s mouth dropped open in shock. “A hundred bucks?  The site has over two thousand members.  At twenty four bucks a pop, that’s like…� He trailed off as he worked it out.

“Forty eight thousand a month.� Ziva worked out.

“Yeah, that’s good.  Sounds like the girls are ripping you off.� Tony said to Carter.

Carter shrugged. “It’s only one of several websites I’ve designed.  I also do Dungeons and Demons, Buxom Bimbos, and Friends of Furries dot-org.�

“You designed Buxom Bimbos?� Tony asked.

“How did the three of you meet?� Ziva asked.

“Leanne always flirted with me when I delivered her paper.  And one day I was talking about my website, and she asked about-� Carter explained before Tony interrupted him.

“Back up a step there.  You were a paperboy?�

“I used to be a news distributor, okay?  Paperboy is such an archaic term.� Carter replied.

“Nine year olds don’t mind it.� Tony muttered.

“How did Jamie get involved?� Ziva asked.

Carter shrugged again. “I guess she wanted to make some extra money.  That’s one reason I’ll never get married.� Ziva laughed.

“I can think of a couple others.� Tony muttered.

“When was the last time either of them contacted you?� Ziva asked.

“It’s been like a month.  I mean, with a design like mine, the site pretty much runs itself.� Carter replied.
    
Tony laughed “Is your mother wondering why we’re here?�

 
“I kind of told her this was for a job interview.� Carter explained making Tony laugh louder.

“Ah, I’ll be in the car.� Tony excused himself.

* * *
   
“Sweep the yard!  See if the dog reacts to any other human remains.� Tony ordered as a dog barked when they were at the scene where Jamie Carr was last seen.
     
“Hey, buddy.� McGee said as he moved closer to the dog but it barked at him making him jump back in fright. “She doesn’t like people.�

“Hi!  Hi!� Ziva said to the dog as she patted it.

“Maybe it’s just me.� McGee muttered.

“How long is Gibbs planning on keeping us here?� Ziva asked.

“As long as it takes to find the other missing wife.� Tony replied.

“Assuming she’s even here, Tony!� Ziva exclaimed. “It could take days to search this place.�
    
“Why don’t you tell Gibbs that?  He loves our input.� Tony suggested.

“Are you sure these are corpses-sniffing dogs?� Ziva asked the dog hopefully.

“Of course.  That’s why they’re alerting to McGee.  He’s been a dead man since yesterday.� Tony said sarcastically.
    
“Very funny stuff there, Tony.� McGee told him.

“Still working on it.� Tony replied.

“How did you end up here, McGee?� Ziva asked.

“Well, I rode in the back of the van.  You may have noticed my screaming as Tony ran that light.� McGee replied sarcastically.

“Not here, here.  At NCIS.  I know Tony’s story, what’s yours?� Ziva explained.

“Do you want the long version or the short version?� McGee asked.

“Oh, there’s only one version.  McGee showed up on our doorstep like a little lost poodle.� Tony told her.

“That is not true, Ziva.� McGee said defending himself.

“No, you’re right.� Tony agreed. “It was more like a Saint Bernard.�

“DiNozzo!  Ziva!  We’re out of here!� Gibbs ordered them.

“Thank you, God.� Tony muttered.

“What about me, Boss?� McGee asked.

“You’re heading up the search.  Find me that other body.� Gibbs replied.

“Why me?  I’m not the newbie anymore.  Don’t you think this is maybe a job for Ziva?� McGee pointed out.

“I need a trained investigator running this site, McGee.  Do you think Ziva fits that bill?� Gibbs asked him with a glare before walking off towards the car.
“I guess not, Boss.� McGee replied.

“Hey, quit feeling sorry for yourself.  Do what you do best.� Tony told the younger agent.

“What, you mean screwing up?� McGee asked expectantly.

“No, finding answers when no one else can.� Tony replied before he and Ziva followed Gibbs.

“That was nice of you.� Ziva told him.

“Never kick a Probie when he’s down, Ziva.�


“I thought the expression was dog.�

“It’s the same difference.�

* * *

“You never cease to amaze me.� Ziva commented as Tony threw a paper ball into McGee’s bin.

“I probably would have gone pro if I hadn’t blown out my knee senior year.� Tony replied proudly.

“I was referring to the numerous ways in which you entertain yourself.� Ziva explained.

“Like what?�

“Computer solitaire, paper airplanes, last week’s rubber band war.�

“Oh.  Well, in all fairness that was McGee’s fault.�

“How?�

“Well he’s the one who brought the rubber bands down from the supply room.  Should have known better.� Tony explained.

“I think he learned his lesson.  I never knew a rubber band could leave such a welt.�

“It’s all in the release.�

“It’s astounding you actually find the time to do your job.�

“It’s what we call the creative process.�

“What is that?�

“While you were getting your little Banana-Rama thingy, I was finding us a lead.�

“It is Berry Mango Madness.  And… I am listening.�

“This dude had a platinum membership to the website, restraining order filed against him last year, and lives in the Dumfries area.� Tony explained.

“Name?�

“Robert T. Sullivan.�

“Checked him out last night.  He’s been in South Beach, Florida, for the past six weeks.�


“South Beach is an exotic place.  Beaches, babes.  Bingo!�

“Mister Sullivan is in a spiritual retreat.  He’s a Jehovah’s Witness.�

“That would explain the restraining order.  Well, only four thousand, three hundred and thirty eight to go.�

* * *

“Running a little late this morning?� Ziva asked Tony when he rushed to his desk the next morning.

“Stopped at the mall to pick up Alex’s gift.  It was completely packed.  Scott Baio’s cutting the ribbon at a new Pottery Barn.� Tony explained.
    
“Who’s Scott Baio?� Ziva asked.

“Exactly.� He replied before turning to McGee. “Morning, Probie.� He turned back to Ziva when McGee didn’t reply but continued staring blankly at his computer screen. “What’s with him?�

“He’s been that way all morning.  I do not believe he went home last night.� Ziva answered.

“Ah.  Where’s Gibbs?� Tony asked.

“He left for coffee.� She replied simply.

“What do you think?� Tony asked Ziva pulling out an elegant red dress out of his bag.

“It’s not your colour, DiNozzo.� Gibbs said as he stormed over to his desk.

“Ah, I was just showing Ziva-� Tony started to say but Gibbs cut him off.

“You’re late.�

“Yeah, I had to run an errand.  It was important but it won’t… won’t happen again.� Tony promised.

“Boss, I located the money.  They had a Cayman account set up to dump the funds into a U.S. account on the fifteenth of every month.� McGee suddenly reported to Gibbs.
   
“Whose account?� Ziva asked.

“Her name is Hazel Davenport.� McGee replied.

“We got an address?� Ziva asked.

“Yeah, Royal Manor Retirement Home.  She’s eighty-six years old.  She happens to be the maternal grandmother of Carter Finch.� McGee explained.
    
“See what happens when you show up to work on time, DiNozzo?� Gibbs scolded.

“Yes.� Tony replied.

“He emptied the account last night and walked out with close to half a mil in cash.� McGee continued.

“What are you waiting for?  Bring me Finch. Now!� Gibbs shouted.

“Right.� Tony nodded before turning to McGee. “You pulled an all-nighter?�

“Sergeant Roberts deserves answers.� McGee told him.

“Should’ve told me.  I would’ve stayed.�

“I know you would’ve.  So why were you late?�

“I stopped by the mall to pick up Alex’s birthday present.� Tony explained.

“Did you see Scott Baio?�


* * *
“He has not made or received a phone call since Wednesday of last week.� Ziva reported.

“I can’t imagine he has a lot of friends.� Tony commented.

“He doesn’t really need them, considering he has half a million dollars in cash.� McGee pointed out.

“That he picked up over eighteen hours ago.  Whoosh.  I could be in Rio De Janeiro right now.� Ziva said.
    
“Good thing he’s not you.  Okay, this guy’s not smart enough to cover his tracks.� Tony told her.
    
“He’s done pretty well so far.� McGee said.

“He does online auctions from his laptop.  Super Collectables-� Tony realised.

“Ultra Collectibles and Auctions dot com.  Can we trace him?� Ziva asked.  


 “If we can pinpoint some of his items.  Do you know what he sells?� McGee asked.
    
“Star Wars stuff.� Tony replied.

“That narrows it down to like fifty million people.� McGee pointed out.

“Ah.  Ah… some kind of figurine.  There’s only three of them.� Tony remembered.

“Yoda?  C-Three-P-Oh?  Storm Trooper?� McGee asked.

“Wookiee.  There’s a special edition prototype from nineteen seventy eight.  It comes equipped with an ammo belt.  There are only three in existence.� Ziva remembered.
    
“You’re a Star Wars junky, huh?� McGee asked.

“Not especially.� Ziva replied.

“She has a photographic memory, Probie.  Not a social disorder.� Tony explained.

“Okay, there is one seventy eight Wookiee posted.  Only one with an ammo belt.  Highest bid was over twelve hundred dollars.� McGee said as he looked on the website.
    
“Was?� Tony asked.

“He shut down the auction early this morning.  Guess he no longer needed the cash.� McGee explained.

“Can you find him?� Tony asked.

“I’m tracing the host computer I.P. address now.  Looks like he last logged on six hour ago.  A broadband connection at the Freemont Inn in Woodbridge, Virginia.� McGee told them.
    
“That’s twenty minutes from here.  Ziva, you’re with me.  McGee… call Gibbs!� Tony ordered.

* * *


“If things get hairy, just follow my lead.  What’s happening, ladies?� Tony ordered Ziva as they cautiously entered the hotel.


“I do not need a babysitter, Tony.  I have been in hundreds of these situations.� Ziva pointed out.
    
“Never with me.  As far as I’m concerned, you’re a Probie.�

“I have never had sex with you, either.  Does that mean I am a virgin?�

“Trust is a virtue that’s earned, not given.�

“Profound.�

“I try.� Tony grinned as he whistled at a woman walking past.

“Nice ass, yes?� Ziva commented.

“Something like that.�

* * *
   
     
“Federal agents!� Tony yelled as they burst through the hotel room. “Looks like we missed quite a party.�      
     

“Tony, I think you want to take a look at this.� Ziva called from the bathroom once they’d determined the room was empty.

“The knife’s a K-Bar, a Marine fighting knife.� Tony said looking at the knife Ziva held.
    
“I told Gibbs not to let Sergeant Roberts go home last night.� Ziva said angrily.

“What do you think of that?  Blood?� Tony asked as he noticed the red stains on the sink.

“Do you smell that?�

“Haviar Christian Number Five.  You think you’re the only one with a memory?�

“That’s not blood.  It’s hair dye.� Ziva realised.

* * *

“Jamie Carr?  I liked you better as a blonde.� Tony told the woman who Ziva had in handcuffs.

“That is probably not a good idea.� Ziva pointed out.

“You’re probably familiar with this.� Tony said to Jamie Carr.

“You wish.� Jamie spat at him but Tony just whistled at her as he answered his ringing phone. “DiNozzo.� He answered.

“The knife in the video is a fake, DiNozzo.  Jamie Carr is-� Gibbs told him.

“Alive.� Tony finished. “We know.  We’re looking at her right now.�
     

“What about Carter-?� Gibbs started to ask.

“Finch?  Dead.  She offered him in the hotel room, took all the money for herself.� Tony told him. “She’s a naughty little kitty cat.  Anything else, Boss?�

* * *

“Tony, it’s almost nine o’clock.  Isn’t tonight your big birthday dinner?� Asked Ziva.

“She cancelled.� Tony told her simply.   

“Why?�

“Apparently, Logan organised a big romantic surprise.�

“She’s married?�

“Not yet.� Said Tony, “Though I think Logan may propose.�

“Do you still have those dinner reservations?� Asked Ziva and Tony looked up at her, “My treat. Or you could take Sasha?�

“We broke up so I guess I could drown my sorrows in surf and turf.� He smiled as he eyed her.

“That’s a good attitude.� And they walked to the elevator.

“So then what happened?� Maya asked eagerly. “Did you go out to dinner with Ziva?�

Tony nodded. “We arrived and were seated at the usual table. The one placed next to the window but in the darkest corner so we could have some privacy while we enjoyed our meal.



“Thanks for coming with me tonight I really didn't want to eat alone� Tony said to her as they picked at some garlic bread.


“It is fine.� Ziva replied. “Do you come here often?�


“Yeah my parents used to bring me and Alex here when we were kids and I brought a few girls here over the years.�


“Did you ever bring Sasha here?�


He chuckled.


“I take that as a 'yes'.�


“A few times yeah.�


“You never said why you broke up.�


“Things didn’t work out as planned.�


“Oh she did not like the ring?�


“No…it wasn’t that?�


“What was it?� she asked as their meals arrived.


He didn’t answer but starred down at his meal and played with it. He felt her eyes on him but didn’t want to look up.


She seemed to get the message and quickly changed the subject. “So what is your sister like?�


“Smart, pretty, she may look like me but she is everything I’m not.�


“Charming, sophisticated, focused?� Ziva suggested.


He laughed. “Well yeah…she was like Dad’s favourite while I was a failure in whatever I did.�


“But you’re not a failure.� Maya pointed out. “You’re an NCIS special agent. That has to be one the coolest job in the world.�


Tony laughed and kissed her head. “Thanks I certainly think it’s cool but I wouldn’t go that far.�


She shrugged. “If you say so, so then what happened? Did you go back to her place and thrust your penis into her vagina?�


“Maya! No I did not. We talked at the restaurant for ages and only left when they came and told us it was closing time. But things changed when we arrived for work the next day.


* * *


“A whole hour for a lunch run, Probie?� Tony asked when McGee finally returned from his lunch break.

“Yeah, while Ziva and I were out, she asked me to show her the best routes to work.  You know, her driving’s gotten a lot better.  Barely broke any laws this time.� McGee explained as he made his way over to his desk.

“Let me get this straight.  Ziva asked you, who can barely navigate the Navy Yard, to show her the best way to work?�

“That’s right.�

“Well, what about me?  I know every shortcut in the metro area.  I could shave ten minutes off her commute like that!� Tony exclaimed slightly hurt.

“I don’t know what to tell you.�

“It doesn’t make any sense.   Unless…maybe I intimidate her.� Tony realised.

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.� McGee agreed.

“I’ve seen it happen before.  It’s a chemical thing.  Hard to explain.�

“I do hope you try.� A voice behind Tony asked making him jump.

“I told you not to do that again.� Tony said when he saw it was just Ziva.

“Sorry.  I was so intimidated in your presence, I must have forgotten.  Seriously, Tony.  I do apologize for not asking your advice on my commute.� Ziva told him.
   
“Don’t worry about it.� Tony replied trying to mask the hurt in his voice.

“If I would have known you would have felt so… emasculated… is the word?� She asked McGee.
    
“Yes, it is.� McGee replied.

“Emasculated, I would have asked you first.� Ziva finished.

“It takes a little more than an exotic accent and some stealth ninja moves to emasculate me.� Tony told her.
    
“Only a little more?  How disappointing.� Ziva said as she walked over to her desk.

“Don’t take sides, Probie!� Tony warned McGee as he chuckled at the pair.

“Gear up.  We have a missing person.  Coleman Park Carousel in Arlington.� Gibbs ordered as he walked over to his desk, grabbed his gear and headed for the elevator.

Ziva was the first one to catch up to their boss. “A child?�

“Father.  Lieutenant Commander Alex Tanner.  Disappeared an hour ago.� Gibbs replied.

“Do you always respond to missing person’s cases so promptly?� Ziva asked.

“Special circumstances, Ziva.  His six year old son called NCIS.  He’s in the park, alone, waiting for us.� Gibbs answered before tossing the car keys to Tony. “DiNozzo, you drive.�

“Ooh, I think McGee wants to drive, Boss.� Tony told Gibbs sarcastically.

“Ah, you know what, Tony?  I would really rather have you drive.� McGee replied.

“Afraid you’re going to run over another fire hydrant?  Because I’m sure that wasn’t your fault.  Wait.  It was, according to the police report.� Tony taunted the younger agent.
    
Ziva reached for the keys. “I’ll drive.�

Gibbs silenced them all with a glare. “One more word, you’re all walking.�

“You got it, Boss.� Tony replied and as soon as the words left his mouth Gibbs slapped him, “I deserved that.� Tony realised as the elevator doors opened and they all stepped inside.


* * *

“Zach, hey.  I’m Special Agent DiNozzo; you can call me Tony, okay?  That’s a smart thing to do, calling NCIS.  Good boy.  All right, I know this really scary, but I want you to be brave.  Can you do that?  Okay, I want you to think back to what happened today.  Try to remember the details.  There’s no wrong answer here.� Tony said to the small boy who sat on the park bench staring at him in silence.
    
“What do we know?� Gibbs asked as he sat down on the other side of Zach.

“Nothing.   I think the kid’s in shock.� Tony replied.

“No, I’m not.  I’m waiting for Agent DiNozzo to ask me a question.� Zach told Gibbs.

“What kinds of questions was I supposed to ask?� Tony asked Zach.

“What I saw.  Why I called NCIS.� Zach replied.

“What did you see, Zach?� Gibbs asked the small boy.

“Two men were watching us.  I think they kidnapped my Dad.� Zach explained.

“Describe them.� Gibbs said.

“Dark glasses.  One had a military haircut.  One had a shaved head.� Zach described.

“How old?� Tony asked.

“About your age.  They had I-Pods, too.� Zach replied.

“It’s like a Walkman, Boss.  I-Pod.� Tony explained to Gibbs.

“They were only listening in one ear like this.� Zach continued showing them with his own IPod headphones.

“Be back in a minute, Zach.� Gibbs told him as he got up and motioned for Tony to follow him.

“Dark glasses, earwigs.� Gibbs repeated when he and Tony were out of earshot.

“Sounds like Feds.� Tony told him.

“You really think the FBI would arrest a man and leave his kid in the park, DiNozzo?� Gibbs asked.

“Maybe our Commander took a walk.� Tony suggested. “My father left me in the Maui Hilton for two days once.  He didn’t even realize I was missing until he got the room service bill.�
   
“Sad, but enlightening.� Ziva commented as she and McGee joined them.

“Boss, I just spoke with the Commander’s C.O...  He’s very concerned.  Apparently Commander Tanner was working on a highly classified D.O.D. project.� McGee reported.
    
“What project, McGee?� Gibbs asked.

“He wouldn’t say over an unsecured line.  But I’m going to find out.� McGee assured him.

Gibbs turned to Ziva. “Footage from the security cameras?�

“Park Security released them to me.� She replied.

“Okay, get ahold of Zach’s mom.  She can pick him up at NCIS.� Gibbs ordered.

“Uh… uh… boss.  Boss, um… his mother’s dead.� McGee stuttered. “Killed four years ago in a car accident.�
   
“Primary next of kin?� Gibbs asked.

“There is none.  Just Commander Tanner and his son.� McGee replied.

“Aw poor Zach.� Maya said. “At least if something ever happened to you or Mom I know Uncle Gibbs, Uncle Probie, and Auntie Abby would take care of me.�

“Yeah,� Tony agreed. “Your always have someone to take care of you.�


* * *

     
“New hires just keep getting younger, eh, Madam Director?� Tony asked the Director when he noticed she was watching Gibbs with Zach.

“Obviously you didn’t get the memo, Agent DiNozzo.� She told him not taking her eyes off Gibbs.

“What memo?� Tony asked.

“The one where it explains the next person who calls her Madam gets keel hauled, whatever that is.� Ziva explained.
    
“It’s-� Tony started but the Director stopped him.

“Unpleasant.  Tell Gibbs I want him upstairs.� She said before she walked back up to her office.

“What did the Director want?� Gibbs asked as he and Zach entered the bullpen.

“You… upstairs.� Ziva replied. “I better check on those sketches.�

“I got a BOLO out on a black Chevy Suburban, Boss.  But without plates?� Tony reported.

“DiNozzo, you will spend the next twenty four personally checking each one in Virginia, Maryland and D.C.-� Gibbs ordered him.

“That’s like an impossible� Tony started to complain but stopped when Gibbs glared at him. “I’m on that.�

“You keep an eye on him for me.  I’ll be right back.� Gibbs told Zach before he walked upstairs towards the Director’s office.

“You know, he was just kidding about keeping an eye on me.� Tony told Zach when the young boy sat down and stared at Tony.

“I couldn’t remember when Gibbs asked me, but I think I got it right.� Zach told him.

“Got what right?� Tony asked completely confused.
    
“The numbers… on the license plate.� Zach replied, “I was scared, but I remember most of the numbers.�
    
“Oh right, Zach!  My man!  Come on.  Give me five!  Come on, meet me up high!  All right.    We’ll work on that.  Good job.� Tony congratulated him.
 

* * *

“I feel like I’ve wasted your time, Agent DiNozzo.� Laura told Tony when she couldn’t identify the number plate Zach had remembered.

“Bite your tongue.  You’ve been great.� Tony told her.

“I just feel so bad for that poor little boy.� She told him.

“Well listen, if you think of anything, you give me a call day or night.  Home phone number’s on the back.� He told her as he handed her his card.

“Where’ve you been?  I could have used your help with those interviews.� He asked Ziva as she walked out of the elevator.

“Oh?  You look like you had your hands full with her.� Ziva replied looking at Laura.

“Watch your sexual innuendo around the kid.  He’s had a hard day.� Tony warned her.

“He’s taking it better than most adults.  He’s resilient.�

“Do you see the way he’s been acting around me?�

“I think it’s because he doesn’t like you, Tony.�

“Kids dig me.�

“No they don’t!�

Tony wanted to prove her wrong so he called out to Zach, “Zach.  Zacharoo, buddy!  Come on over here, man.  I was going to wait until tomorrow when everyone was here…but considering what a brave little boy you’ve been and how much you’ve helped us.  I’m going to make you an honorary NCIS Agent.� He handed him a spare NCIS badge.
    
“Thanks.  I’ve got to go to the head.� Zach said before he ran off.

Ziva laughed. “Yes, Tony.  I was mistaken.  Your way with children is only rivalled by your way with women.�

“Don’t worry Dad,� Maya reassured him. “I love you.�

“I know kiddo.� He replied as he hugged her.


“Where is Zach?� Gibbs asked as he walked into the bullpen.
    
“Potty break, Boss.� Tony replied.

“You gonna speak?� Gibbs asked Ziva.

“I got an I.D. on one of our suspects.  His name is Vincent Pazzo.  Italian born.  Freelance mercenary.  Black ops, mostly.  Some wet work.� Ziva reported.
  
“How’d you find out about that?� Tony asked.

“I sent Zach’s sketches to some people who owe me a favour.� Ziva replied.

“Well, if he’s got the Honour program and the guy who knows how to make it work, then why’d they go after the kid?� Tony wondered.
   
“To force him to cooperate.� Gibbs realised.

“Then there’s a possibility that Commander Tanner set this up to make it look like kidnapping.� Ziva said.
    
“Keep your voice down.� Gibbs warned her.

“Shh!� Tony added.

“That’s what I would do if it were my op.  The authorities are looking for a kidnapper when they should be looking for a traitor.� Ziva whispered.
    
“It doesn’t feel right, Ziva.� Gibbs told her.

“It doesn’t have to feel right to be right, Gibbs.� Ziva replied.

* * *

“Got it, Boss.  Black SUV, no rear window.  One visible suspect in the vehicle.  Should we take him now?� Tony asked Gibbs through the radio. 

“Wait.� Gibbs ordered, “I’m almost in position here.�    
     

“Copy.� Tony replied before turning to Ziva. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be partner with McGee?  I mean, the two of you seem to click.  And we’re about to storm this vehicle.  Who knows what’s going to go down.�

“Do not worry, Tony.  I got your back.� She replied.

Tony laughed. “Ha!  My back.  Listen, lady, if anybody is getting anybody’s back, it’s me getting yours.�

“In position, Boss.� McGee said over the radio to Gibbs.
   
“Take him down!� Gibbs ordered and they all rushed towards the SUV and opened the doors.

* * *

“Hey.� Tony greeted Ziva as he walked over to his desk.

“Gibbs got Connell talking yet?� She asked him.

“His lawyer won’t let him talk, so Gibbs is giving him the old stare.� Tony replied doing his best Gibbs stare impression.

“Gibbs does it much better.�

Tony noticed there was a juicy red apple on her desk. “Apple for the teacher?�

“It’s for McGee.  He’s been very generous with me.  Helping me adjust to this new city.� She replied.
   
“So you’re giving him an apple?�

“It’s a small gesture.�

“Well if you want to thank him, why don’t you just get him a date?� Tony asked sarcastically. “Gibbs wants to know if you’ve got anything he can use on Connell.�
    
“Frank Connell’s a deacon at his church.  Never had a moving violation, let alone a parking ticket.  And he calls his mother every Sunday.  The man is spic and spam.�
   
“The saying is spic and span.� Tony corrected. “Spam is lunch meat.�

“Oh.  What exactly is span then?�

“Span is… I’ll get back to you on that.�

“In my opinion, Frank Connell is not involved in this.�

“Oh, good.  I’ll let Gibbs know right away because he loves to hear our opinions.� Tony replied sarcastically.

“He’s distracted by his affections for Zach.�

“Gibbs doesn’t get distracted.�

“What do you call it then?�

“The Boss moves in mysterious ways.� He replied as he handed her a heavy file. “Get this to him.�
   
“Why me?�

Tony grinned and snatched the apple off her desk taking a bite out of it. “Because I’m going to go see your little buddy McGee.�
   
“Hey, put that back!� Ziva exclaimed.

“I’m just bringing it to him.�

* * *

“Progress report, McGee.� Tony asked as he walked into the lab still eating the apple.

“Ah, well I think that Frank Connell put a trace on Commander Tanner’s computer.� McGee replied.

“Think?�


“Well, I’ve got scraps of code, protocols, commands.  He might have put the trace in, collected Tanner’s passwords, stolen the software.� McGee explained.
    
“Might have and think are not going to make Gibbs happy.� Abby said as she walked over to him.

“Well, whoever wiped his files did a really good job, because there is nothing left but fragments.  Can’t Gibbs just break Connell in interrogation?� McGee asked.
   
“Not with a five hundred dollar an hour defence attorney breathing down his neck.  Puts it on you, McGee.� Tony replied.

“Well, nothing I have found contradicts any of the evidence we had against Commander Tanner.� McGee said.
    
“I’m with you, Probie.  But he’s feeling pretty strong about this one.�

“Has anyone considered the fact that Gibbs may be wrong this time?� McGee asked.
    
Abby gasped. “McGee, bite your tongue!  Gibbs knows what he’s doing.  We just have to show him love.�
  
“We show the love, Abby.  Just don’t want to let the bad guys get away while we’re doing it.� Tony said to the Goth before throwing his apple core in the bin. “Almost blocked my shot there, Chipper.  Ever play ball?� He asked Abby’s assistant.

“College.� Chip replied.

“Oh, yeah?  Me, too.� Tony replied.
   
“Tony here ran point for Ohio State.� Abby told Chip proudly.

“What conference did you play in?� Tony asked Chip.

“We didn’t exactly have a conference.� Chip admitted.

“Division?�

“Not really.  It was more of an intramural thing.� Chip told him.

“Skins and moustaches?� Tony asked.


“Chip sounds weird.� Maya told him.

“He was.� Tony agreed.

    
“Whatcha got for me?  Chip?� Abby asked her assistant.


“Fingerprint analysis results.�

“You’re free to go, Chip.� Abby told him.

“Oh, I don’t mind staying late, Ma'am.� Chip told her.

“Go home Chip, please!� Abby ordered him.

“Is that an order?� Chip asked her.

“Yes!� The Goth exclaimed. “Go!� making Chip glance around the room at Tony and McGee before walking slowly out of the lab. 
 
“I don’t know how you concentrate around that guy.� McGee said to Abby.

“I know.� The Goth agreed. “No, no, no, no, no!  No!  I’m too good at what I do.�
    
“No, you’re not.� McGee reassured her.

“I am.  And Gibbs is going to hate me for it!� She exclaimed.
    
“What happened?� McGee asked.

“Oh, it’s the following up on the murder weapon, double checking to see if there’s anything I missed.� Abby explained.
    
“Was there?� McGee asked.

“Fingerprints.� Abby replied.

“On the gun?!� McGee exclaimed.

“On the rounds in the magazine.� Abby replied.

“Well that’s great!� McGee said.

“Most people get obsessed about cleaning the grip and the trigger.  They don’t think twice about the bullets.  Now we’ve got a nice partial thumb, a forefinger, and a perfect index print.� Abby explained.
    
“Amazing.�

“Yeah, I know.� Abby agreed.

“So whose prints are they?� McGee asked.

“Commander Tanner’s.�
 

* * *

“Agent Gibbs?  What in the hell’s going on?� Commander Wilder demanded as Gibbs knocked him to the ground. They had gone to arrest Frank’s assistant Laura who led them to Wilder.

“I’m not resisting!� Commander Wilder exclaimed as Gibbs roughly put handcuffs on him.

“Too bad.� Gibbs muttered.

“I could have never hurt Zach.  It was strictly business.� Commander Wilder told them.

“We’ll be sure to let him know that.� Tony said to the commander,


“You reunited Zach with his dad though didn’t you?� Maya asked.

“Yeah, we did and everything was okay.� Tony reassured her.

“So what happened with Ziva?� Maya asked. “Were you two dating?�

“Uhh…we…umm….it’s complicated.� Tony stuttered.

Maya raised her eyebrows.

“Well…

Tony handed the man some money before turning around, “So what do you think?�

Ziva appeared behind the curtains. “Not bad, I suppose.�

Tony chuckled. “Not bad she says as she walks in from the outdoor patio, past the fax machine and the mini-bar, complimentary basket of fruit.� He said as she picked up a piece of fruit.  This is the perfect way to spend a weekend.� He walked across the room and opened the TV cabinet. “Come on!  Big screen TV!  Ooh!  Two hundred channels.  Look at this.  HBO, ESPN, the Mystery Channel.� Ziva walked up to him and grabbed him by the collar, leading him over to the bed. “Turner Classic Movies.  I take it you’re not interested in the premium channels?� 

“There’s only one thing I’m interested in right now.� She replied making him grin. He leaned in and kissed her passionately, their clothes ended up in a pile on the floor.

“Wow!� Maya exclaimed. “Stop! Stop right there, I thought you said you weren’t in a relationship with Ziva! Yet you two were having Sex in a fancy hotel room!�

Tony laughed. “It wasn’t like that I promise. Let me continue.�

Maya sat up and crossed her legs and arms. “Go on then.�



“Do you think they bought it?� Ziva whispered from under Tony.

“I did.� He whispered back.
   
“That’s fairly obvious.� She whispered again.

“For your information that’s my knee.�

“Whatever.  You can get off of me now.�

“It’s only been ten minutes.  I have a reputation to protect.�

“We’re not even sure if we’re under surveillance yet, Tony.�

“You can’t be too careful when you’re undercover.  Let’s give it another forty minutes, just to be realistic.�
    
“Realistic, huh?�

He grinned. “Uh-huh.�

“In that case…� She said rolling over so she was lying on top of him. “I’m right on top.�

“I can live with that.� They gazed at each other for a moment before Ziva brought her knee up and kneed him in the groin making him groan.
   
“What was that for?� He asked her.

“Because that was definitely not your knee.�



“So you were pretending to have sex?� Maya realised.

Tony nodded.


* * *

“Sweetheart, you know what I could really use right now?� Tony asked her as they lay in the bed, her head on his chest.

She sniffed him. “Some deodorant?�

“I was thinking more along the lines of a back massage.� He grinned at her.

“Good idea.  Why don’t you roll over like a good boy?�
    
Tony rolled over and Ziva climbed onto his back and massaged his back. “Oh, wow.  Oh, and to think my mother thought I was too good for you.� Ziva grabbed his neck.  “Ow!� He gasped. 

* * *

A knock at the door interrupted them.

“Who is it?� Ziva called.

“Room service.� McGee replied and Ziva opened the door to let him in “Compliments of the hotel management.� He said loudly before leaning over to whisper to Tony as he handed him a small black box with an ear piece inside, “Gibbs wants me to sweep the room for bugs and plant some of our own.  And he also wants to talk to you.�
   
“You can put it over there, please.� Ziva directed McGee as Tony put the earpiece in.

“Very good, Ma'am.� McGee replied as he put a vase with a hidden camera on the table.

"Garcon,� Ziva said to McGee, “we’d like some extra bath towels.�
    
“Of course.� McGee replied as he checked out the room for cameras or bugs. “Just checking to make sure everything’s in order.� His mouth widened when he saw the state of the bed. “Would you like me to have the maid make up the bed for you, Sir?�
    
“Oh, that won’t be necessary.� Tony told him as he gazed at Ziva.   

“Oh, and will you check the mini bar?  We’d like it restocked with Red Bull.� Ziva added.    

“Red Bull.  That’ll keep you up all night, Ma'am.� McGee replied.


“Exactly.� Ziva said as McGee continued scanning the room.

McGee walked back over to the food trolley and picked up a tray. “Please accept this assortment of cheeses compliments of the hotel.� He said as he covered a bug with the lid. “If you whisper, it should be okay.� He whispered to them.
     

“Comfortable, DiNozzo?� Gibbs asked through the earpieces.
    
“Well, yeah.  I’m working on it.� Tony replied. “Why do you ask?�


“So Uncle Gibbs knew about you two too?� Maya asked.

“Yeah we were under cover as two hired assassins who had been murdered; we assumed the victim's identities in order to find the person who hired the assassins for their mission.� Tony explained.

“Oh, now I get it.�

“We’re looking at you, Agent DiNozzo.� Director Sheppard told him. “All of you.�

Tony looked down and noticed his robe was open he quickly closed it. “Ah, sorry about that.�

“DiNozzo what the hell are you doing?  You’re married assassins.  You’re not visiting the Playboy mansion.� Gibbs asked.
    
“It was kind of Ziva’s idea, boss.� Tony replied.

The telephone rang making Tony jump. “Incoming call.�   
     

“Have her answer it.� Director Sheppard said.     

Tony turned to Ziva who was sitting on the couch. “Sweet cheeks, do you think you could go over and answer the phone for me while I pour us some champagne? Thanks honey.�

“Yes.� Ziva said as she picked up the telephone.
     

“There’s a cell phone in the Bible next to your bed.�  A gruff voice told her.
     

Ziva reached over to open the bible and revealed a cell phone. “Got it.�    
     

“Keep it with you at all times.� The voice ordered. “You have dinner reservations at the hotel dining room at nine o’clock. Don’t be late.�

“The concierge.  We were able to get into the dining room after all, my love.�  Ziva told the others after she hung up and walked back over to Tony. “It looks like I’m getting dressed up for you tonight.� They clicked their wine glasses and took a sip.


* * *

“Solid on the visuals, Tony.� Gibbs said to him once Tony and Ziva were seated at the restaurant table.

“There’s quite a crowd here tonight.� He replied before turning to Ziva. “See anyone you know, Sweet Cheeks?�
   
“Not yet.� She replied. “But the night’s just getting started, my little hairy butt.�

“McGee, report.� Gibbs ordered.
     

“I’ve got the restaurant covered from the entrance, Boss.� McGee replied.

“Abs?� Gibbs asked the Goth.
    
“I’m loading the photos into the computer.� Abby replied.

“Duck, got any scoop for our married couple?� Gibbs asked the M.E.

“I have the breakdown of the contents of their stomachs and intestines.  If Mister Ranier had lived, I would have suggested a more fibre rich diet. His colon was almost impacted with faecal material.� Ducky replied as Tony was about to put a piece of shrimp into his mouth making Ziva laugh.

“Do you think it’s too late to order a salad?� He asked her.

“I believe our food is here.  Bon appetite mon petit bout.�
     

“McGee report.� Gibbs said.
     

“I’ve got the restaurant covered from the entrance, Boss.� McGee replied.
    
Ziva watched as Tony instantly began cutting up his steak. “I’m a meat and potatoes kind of guy.� He told her.    
     
“Tony, the calluses on Mister Ranier’s hand suggest he was left handed.�  Ducky said making Tony pause and look at Ziva nervously.
“Switch hands, DiNozzo.� Gibbs ordered and Tony quickly obeyed.

Ziva smiled at him. “This is nice, isn’t it?�

“Yeah, a quiet little dinner,� Tony replied, “just the six of us.�

“Our friend is calling.� Ziva said as the cell phone rang, she showed the number to Tony, who was wearing glasses with a hidden camera, before answering it.

“I’m glad you called.  We were getting bored.�   


“I thought it would help to see your target in person tonight.� The gruff voice said making Ziva look around the room anxiously.
     

“He’s here?� She asked.

“You don’t see him?�
“Relax, I’m been flying for over twenty hours.  And the restaurant’s packed.  We will.� She said reassuringly. “You didn’t mention anything about being surrounded by U.S. Marines. It’s too dangerous for the sum you’re paying us.�

“Accomplish your mission, we’ll discuss more.�
     

Ziva laughed. “But you won’t pay us more.�

“DiNozzo!  McGee!� Gibbs ordered when Abby discovered the called was coming from a payphone inside the restaurant.

“Already moving.’’ McGee said.

Tony stood up. “I have to go to the little boy’s room.� He told Ziva.
     

“I have to talk to my boss.� The gruff voice said to Ziva.
     

“Do that.â€� Ziva replied. “We’ll wait for you to â€" he hung up.â€� She told the others.

* * *

“Must’ve slipped out through the kitchen. I didn’t even get a look. You want us back at the squad room, Boss?� Tony asked Gibbs over the phone. 
   

“No. I want you and Ziva back in your room, maintaining your cover.� Gibbs replied.    
     

“Oh, all night?� Tony asked.
     

“Do I stutter or something, DiNozzo?� Gibbs replied before hanging up.
     

Tony turned around to find Ziva standing right behind him. “Afraid I’ll bite, Tony?    

“The name is Jean Paul, Sophie.� He corrected her hoping no one heard her slip up.

“Jean Paul.�

* * *

Tony lay in bed as he listened to Ziva snore loudly. “Oh my god!  Ziva!  Shh!� He whispered and for a moment he thought it worked because she stopped but then she started again and even louder this time. “Come on, you’re killing me here!  Sophie!�
He said louder making her turn around to face him.
    
“Oh!� She moaned. “What?�
 

“Nothing.  I thought I heard something.� He lied.

She rolled back over mumbling.

“Crazy chick.� He muttered.
     

“I heard that, my little hairy butt.�

* * *

“We really should take you to see the doctor, Sweet Cheeks.� Tony said to Ziva as he sat drinking a cup of coffee to wake himself up.

She turned to look at him. “Why’s that?�
   
“Because you snore like a drunken sailor with emphysema.� He told her as she walked over and sat down next to him.
    
“Look who’s calling the pot black.� She replied as she fiddled with her sunglasses.

“Kettle.� Tony corrected. “The pot is calling the kettle black.�

“Huh.� She put the glasses on and quickly looked out the window before turning back to face him. “I’d really like some music.  Something with a little… beat, dear.�

“Sorry.� Tony said as he turned the music on loudly. “What have we got?�

“Ooh, sneaky people. Top floor, northwest corner, Gibbs.  They have a laser trained on our room.�
    
“I can’t believe that your sunglasses can detect different light spectrums, Ziva.  That’s amazing.� McGee exclaimed.  
 
“DiNozzo, we’re going to need a diversion.� Gibbs told him.

“I think we can manage something, Boss.� Tony replied.

“Let’s roll, McGee.� Gibbs ordered.

“Ziva, that is amazing.  Big whoop, she has spy glasses.  Anyone could do that.  That’s not amazing.  She’s just-� Abby complained.

“Uh, you realize we can still hear you, right, Abby?� Ziva told her.

     
* * *

“Like what you see, Agent DiNozzo?�  Maya the FBI agent asked him as she leant over the bed. “The room’s clean except for the listening devices we installed.  We’re free to talk.�
    
“Yeah, so you’re the one who’s been watching us?� Tony asked her.

“Oh, yeah.  When this is over, we really should go out for drinks.� She replied.  


 “I’d like that.� Tony agreed.

“I’m pregnant, Tony.� Ziva said interrupting him as she walked out of the bathroom.

“We’ll be sure to let him know that.� Tony said to the commander,

Maya’s mouth dropped opened. “What! I thought you were pretending!� She exclaimed.

“We were.� Tony told her. “Ducky discovered that the real Sophie Ranier was pregnant so we had to pretend Ziva was.�

“Oh that explains it.� Maya said.

Tony’s eyes widened and Maya stepped away and headed for the door. “Maybe some other time.�
    
“She… she was kidding.� Tony told Maya as he watched the door close.

“Something wrong?� Ziva asked.

“Thanks.�

“Oh, she’s really not your type anyway.�

“Hot and in a maid’s outfit?  They don’t get any more my type.� He replied as the cell phone rang. 

Ziva picked the cell phone up off the table. “He’s learning.  Number’s blocked.�

Tony grabbed the cell phone and answered it. “Talk to me.�
     
“I’ve been told to negotiate a price commensurate with the risk.� The gruff voice told him.
“I’m listening.� Tony said.

“Not on the phone.  Be in the lobby in exactly one hour. A black Lincoln will be waiting out front.  Make sure you’re not followed.� The gruff voice told him before hanging up.    
* * *
    
“Tony, Ziva, get ready to roll.  Hour’s almost up.� Gibbs told them.    
     

“Roger that, Boss.� Tony replied before turning to Ziva who was cleaning her gun. “You haven’t fired your weapon, so it’s already cleaned.�
 
“It calms my mind.  Forces me to stay focused at the job in my hand.� She replied without looking up at him.

“The term’s ‘job at hand.’�

“Same difference.�  She shrugged as he got up and walked over to her his hands placed nervously in his pockets. “Is something wrong?� She asked him.

“Just trying to picture you pregnant.� He replied.

“Don’t.� She warned.

“I have to.  I’m going to be a father.  It’s a great responsibility.�

“Maybe it’s not yours.�

“Maybe she didn’t know.�

“Oh, she knew.�
    
“So why take this contract, put our unborn child in danger?�

“Perhaps we needed the money.�

“Kids are expensive.�

“Bullets are cheap.  There’s a big chance this meeting is a set-up, Tony.�

“Are you scared?�

“Nope.  Excited.�

* * *
“We’re on our way to the elevator, Boss.� Tony told Gibbs as he and Ziva prepared to leave.

“Tony, Ziva, we’re not taking any chances on this one.  First sign it goes bad you call it.� Gibbs ordered them.   

“Hold the door!� Tony called to the guy in the elevator as he and Ziva reached it just in time. “Thanks.�

“Sure.� The guy replied.

“Sweetheart.� Tony said as he wrapped his arm protectively around Ziva.

“You’re getting off here.� The man suddenly told them as the elevator doors opened and both Tony and Ziva reached for their weapons.

“Not a wise choice, Mister and Mrs Ranier.  Weapons.� A familiar gruff voice told them as they looked at the men with guns pointed at them.

“We would have come to the third floor ourselves.  Three armed escorts seems a bit excessive.� Ziva told them.
   
“Very good.  Our location and our number in two sentences.  It’s too bad your friends can’t hear you.� The man replied.
    
“You’re being jammed.� The man in the elevator added.

“Bring them to my room.  If they resist?  Shoot the woman.� The first man ordered as the guards led them out of the elevator.

“Come on, let’s go.� The man and the elevator said.

* * *
The man from the elevator who was called Henry smashed the earpieces with a vase.

“There are two things you should be painfully aware of right now.  One, no one leaves this business.  And two, never threaten the people who employ you.� Marcos told them.
   
“Should I be writing this down?� Tony asked he was answered by being hit in the face with a cord. “I take that as a no.�

Maya gasped. “Why didn’t you stop them?�

Tony hugged her close. “We were tied together.�



“Where is the disk?� Marcos asked.

“What disk?� Ziva asked her face showing no emotion as Tony was hit again with the cord.

“Where, Mrs Ranier?� Marcos asked again.

“What makes you think we have it?� Ziva asked him.

“We spotted your backup at the restaurant.  On some level, you must have known this was going to happen.� Marcos replied.
    
“Oh.  Observant.� Ziva said. “How much is our disk worth to you?� the cord hit Tony again.

“I have a better question.  What’s it worth to you?� Marcos asked Ziva as he walked over to stand in front of her. “Out of professional courtesy, I’ve had Mister Cord go lightly on your husband.�  

“And I appreciate that.� Tony said.

“Unfortunately we’re running out of time.� Marcos said.

“If you let him go, I’ll tell you where the disk is.� Ziva told him.

“You’ll tell me either way, Mrs Ranier.� Marcos paused so Henry could bring him a case and pull a sharp knife out of it. He touched it to Ziva throat before continuing. “Why don’t you two take a moment and consider your options?� He and his men walked over the other side of the room to let Tony and Ziva talk.
   
“I might have a plan.� Tony whispered to Ziva once they were alone.
   
“What?�

“The Raniers obviously stole something they want.  You’re going to give it to them.� Tony explained.
   
“We don’t have it.�

“You’re going to tell them it’s in our hotel room.  The only way they’ll find it is if you show them.  McGee should be waiting for us in there.�
   
“Good plan, except for one minor drawback.�

“What?�

“When I leave, they’ll most likely put a bullet through your head.�

“Oh.  Well, I didn’t say it was a perfect plan.�

* * *
“Did you know the Peruvians make blades so sharp, some people can’t even feel the initial incision?� Marcos asked as he fingered the knife.
    
“Stop!� Tony exclaimed. “The disk’s in our hotel room.�

“Don’t!� Ziva warned. “He’ll only use it-�

“Where?� Marcos asked Tony cutting Ziva off.

“She has to show you.� Tony told him.

“Not what I asked.�

“You’ll never find it without her, even if you kill us.�

“Untie her.� Marcos ordered. “Your only mistake was going for one last big payday.  You got greedy.�
    
“I’m pregnant.� Ziva told him.

“Really?  Congratulations.  Boy or girl?� Marcos said.
  
“I don’t know.  We want to be surprised.� Ziva replied.

“It’s the best way, believe me.� Marcos said. “How many months?�
    
“Three!� Tony exclaimed.

“Morning sickness?� Marcos asked.

“Only every single day.� Tony replied.

“I hated to see my wife go through it, but believe me, it’s all worth it in the end.� Marcos said.

“So you’re not going to kill us?� Ziva asked.

“We’re assassins.  You know we can’t just walk away from the game when we feel like it.� Marcos replied. “Hell, don’t you think I’d rather be at my daughter’s fifth birthday than here?�
    
“So you are going to kill us?  Right?� Tony asked.

“I haven’t decided yet.  Give me the disk and we’ll see, play it by ear.� Marcos replied before turning to Mister Cord, “If I’m not back in five minutes, kill him.� Ziva glanced pleadingly at Tony before Marcos led her out the door.    

“That was purely for your wife’s cooperation.  We like to call them little white lies.� Mister Cord said to Tony when they were alone.

* * *
“You know what’s funny?  I was really looking forward to having a kid there for a minute.  That’s a big step for me.� Tony said to Mister Cord. “Having a little DiNozzo running around.�
    
“DiNozzo?� Mister Cord asked him.

“Yeah, that’s my full name.  Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS.� Tony replied as he swung the chair round, knocking Mister Cord to the ground. “How does that feel?  Huh?  Huh, big guy?� Tony asked as he continued to kick him as the door opened and Gibbs and Ziva burst in.
  
“Enough!� Ziva told Tony.

“You want to punch me again?!  Come on!� Tony exclaimed still ignoring her as he continued to kick the man.
    
Ziva walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Enough, enough, Tony.  I think you made your point.� 

“I want a divorce.� Tony told Gibbs.

* * *
“The emergency room seems to have done a pretty good job.  How do you feel?� Ducky asked Tony as he checked him over.
    
“Better, now that I can breathe.� Tony replied.

“There doesn’t appear to be any permanent damage.� Ducky said. “How many times did he hit you?�
   
“I wasn’t counting.� Tony replied.

“Seven times.� Ziva answered.

“She was, of course.� Tony muttered.

“It was hard not to.� Ziva told him.

“We’re going to take really good care of you, Tony.�  Abby promised. “I had Chip pull your car right around front.�
    
“He drove my car?� Tony asked.

“Just from your parking space.  I took extra special care.� Chip reassured him.

“Oh, thanks.� Tony replied.

“And uh,� Ziva said as she showed him a set of keys, “I’m driving you home.�

Tony turned to McGee. “Probie-�

McGee nervously turned to Ziva. “Uh Ziva, actually you shouldn’t probably drive him home tonight.�
    
“Why’s that?� Ziva asked him.

Abby shrugged. “Maybe he wants to live.�

“Yes, well however you get home, I suggest a couple of aspirin… yes, and perhaps some scotch.� Ducky told Tony as he tenderly touched the wound on Tony’s head.
    
“I thought doctors weren’t supposed to prescribe alcohol anymore, Duck.� Gibbs said as he walked over to them.

“Well, it always seems to work for you.� Ducky replied.

“Did you get tickets to that gazelle thing again?� Gibbs asked as he noticed Ducky was wearing a tuxedo.

“It’s Giselle, Jethro.� Ducky corrected him. “And no, that’s not tonight.  Marine Corps Birthday Ball.  She didn’t tell you?�

Everyone looked up to see Director Sheppard walking down the stairs in a beautiful black dress. “Our lovely Director has asked me to escort her.� Ducky added as he went and took the Director’s arm. The rest of the team looked at each other with shocked expressions as the pair walked past and to the elevator.
   
Tony took that as his cue to leave. “All right, good night, Boss.� He stood up and stumbled backward but luckily Ziva caught him. “All right, I’m good.� Ziva and McGee helped him to the elevator.

“Aww, poor Dad. So did Ziva end up driving you home?� Maya asked.

“Yes,� Tony nodded. “And we made it home safely too. Then Ziva insisted on staying for dinner to make sure I was ok.�

“Aww that’s sweet. But what about Megan Ryan, what happened to her?�

“Well it just so happened that very week I needed her help.�

“With what?�

“Just let me explain.


It was a surprisingly quiet morning as Tony sat in front of his computer trying to hide the fact that he was not doing what he was supposed to do but he wasn’t having much luck.

“Tony what are you doing?� a voice behind him asked. He turned around to find Ziva peering over his shoulder.

“Nothing.� He lied as he quickly tried to cover the screen.

She raised an eyebrow. “Really?�

“Really, really.�

She silently crept behind him. “It does not look like nothing.�

He sighed. “Well it’s…its Sasha’s inbox.�

“Are you reading her emails?�

He nodded guiltily.


“Wait! Stop right there! I thought it was bad when you read Megan’s diary but I didn’t expect you to read Sasha’s emails! Maya exclaimed.

“I needed to know something!� He defended.

“Did you find the answer?�

“Not exactly. Anyway.�


“I thought you broke up.� Ziva said.

“We did.�

“Uh huh.�

“I’m just curious.�

“Curious about how her brother’s holiday has been?�

“Yes actually he and I got along well and it’s nice to know how he’s doing.�

“Really? What is his name?�

“Umm…Bob.�

“Wrong, it is Mathew.�

“Wait…how’d you know?�

“He has signed the email.� Ziva pointed out.

“Well everyone called him Bob.�

“Ha! Of course you did Tony�

“We did, anyway what else do we have here? Ooh one from Abby.�

“Abby will not be happy when she finds out you read this.�

“She won’t find out.�

“Oh really?�

“Are you gonna tell her?�

“I might�

“Really?

“Perhaps I will... unless... well,� She bent down to whisper in his ear, “there is something you could do to keep my mouth shut�

“And what would that be?�

She smiled at him seductively.

“Hmm.� He considered as he read the email. “Oh my god!� He exclaimed.

“What is it?�

He ignored her as he read the email.

From: ScuitoA

To: AlexanderS

Subject: RE: Tony

So why exactly did you turn him down and run away? Because that is what you did, you ran away! Why? As far as I know all he did was save your life and then ask you to marry him. What’s wrong with that? And don’t you dare say because he’s Tony DiNozzo! That man loved you and he still does. You may not be around to notice his change in behaviour but the rest of us have, even Gibbs! Tony changed when he was with you and there’s no chance he would ever cheat on you. Please just reconsider and call him because I know you miss him as much as he misses you.

Tony stared open mouthed at the screen and he felt Ziva stiffen behind him. He knew he shouldn’t really be that surprised. Abby was Sasha’s best friend and probably knew Sasha the best and she was just as confused about her friend’s behaviour as he was. He scrolled down a bit and saw Sasha had replied.

From: AlexanderS

To: ScuitoA

Subject: RE: RE: Tony

Abs you know why I had to run away. I couldn’t face him. Not because he’s Tony but because he saved me, yes I know it sounds stupid but it’s true. What would have happened if he got himself killed while saving me? What would that have achieved? Gibbs would’ve lost his best agent because of me! I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing he died to save my life. And knowing he would if he had to scares me. If he dies my life will be worthless, he'd have sacrificed himself for nothing. I love him, I do, but I can't live know I put him in that danger. They say love is blind and for Tony that’s a reality. I can't put him or myself through that.

Tony felt his hands tighten into fists. He understood now and had the answer he was looking for but he definitely didn’t like it.

“Tony,� Ziva said once she’d read the email. “Tony, are you alright?�

He nodded numbly.

He felt her eyes on him but he didn’t turn round. He couldn’t. He just continued to stare blankly at the email.


He paused as Maya snuggled close and hugged him tight. “I’m sorry about Sasha Dad.� She whispered.

“It’s ok kiddo.�


“Hey guys.� McGee said as he entered the bullpen and walked over to his desk. “What are you doing?� He asked them when they ignored him.

“Why do you need to know?� Ziva asked.

“No reason it’s just that…� he trailed off.

Suddenly Tony snapped back to reality. “Oh hey Tim.�

McGee looked over at him with wonder in his eyes. Tony never called him Tim. “Are you ok Tony?�

Tony gulped then put his feelings to the back of his mind like he always did. “Yeah of course Probie, why?� he glanced at Ziva who was still standing behind him. She nodded and walked back over to her desk.

McGee sighed. It was good while it lasted. “What are you doing here this early?�

“Umm…well Ziva was just helping me write my case files.� Tony lied.

“Those case files better be on my desk by lunch.� Gibbs ordered as he walked over to his desk. “Grab your gear we’re heading to Quantico.�

* * *

“Are you alright?� Ziva asked him for what seemed the millionth time as they processed the crime scene where a group of teenagers had found a leg.

“Yes I’m fine!� he snapped.

“You do not seem fine.�

“Well I am now can we just do our job? By the way you don’t need to collect trash.�

“I disagree.�

"Yeah, me too." McGee agreed as he joined them. "When I was at FLET-C, my forensic instructor once planted a pregnancy test at a crime scene, to test us. You never know what might be relevant to a case."

“Thanks McTrash. But trash that doesn’t look like it’s meant to be there is not worth collecting.� Tony complained.

“If I had not bagged and tagged everything in this area then I would not have found this.� She replied as she held up the finger of a rubber glove.

“I didn’t say to look under said trash.� Tony muttered as Gibbs joined them to see their progress.

“I am certain we are almost finished here Gibbs.� Ziva told him.

“I disagree,� Gibbs replied with a small smile. “Pick up everything on the ground that’s within a 10-foot radius of your legs.�

They all sighed as he walked away and they began their work.

* * *

Tony walked into the bullpen to find his co-workers huddled over McGee’s computer.

“For a Caucasian female, a factor of two point nine oh is multiplied by the tibia length.� He heard Ziva say and McGee typed it in and added the tibia length.
    
“What are you doing?� He asked them.

“Estimating Jane Doe’s probable weight and height.� McGee replied.

“Why didn’t you ask me?�

“Tony, these are complex equations we’re dealing with.� Ziva pointed out.
  
“Whatever.  She was what; five eight?  So she’s like a hundred and twenty five, hundred twenty six pounds.� He estimated.


“Wow how did you work that out Dad?� Maya asked him in amazement. “Were you right?�

“I always knew how to work out a woman’s exact weight and height, it came in handy.� He replied making Maya roll her eyes. “And I didn’t stay long enough to find out because just as McGee typed it in my cell phone rang.


“Hey.�

“DiNozzo, Abby’s got something, we need you here proto.� Gibbs ordered.

“Okay boss we found something too, or shall I say I found something we’ll be right there.�

“No, Tony we just need you.�

“Of course you need my area of expertise.� Tony grinned. “I’ll be there in a second.�

* * *

Tony gulped he couldn’t believe what his boss was implicating. One of the fingerprints found at the scene matched his and while Abby ran the blood samples the only way Tony could be cleared was to see if the teeth marks on the leg matched his which explained why he, Tony DiNozzo who was only afraid of dentists was letting Ducky poke around in his mouth.


Maya suddenly sat up knocking him backwards. “Wait! Stop! Rewind a bit! Uncle Gibbs accused you of murder!� She exclaimed. “You wouldn’t hurt someone unless they were bad. You save people.�

“He didn't accuse me of murder, the evidence did. I didn't do anything bad. Except for well, there was that girl that put me on the herp- you know what, it doesn't matter, the moral of the story is always trust Abby's judgement.� Tony replied as he sat back up.

Maya crossed her arms. “But they still had to prove you didn’t do it.�

“I was getting to that.� He replied as she motioned for him to continue.


“I haaa een-al ray-corss yooo coo haaa uuuued. (I have dental records you could have used.)� Tony tried to say as Ducky took a mould of his teeth.

“Stay still. This is much faster and accurate then your x-rays.�

“You don’t have a nice bedside manner, do you Duck?� Tony complained.

“My patients don’t seem to mind.� Ducky replied with a smile as he took the mould out and placed it on the table their co-workers bent over closely examining the leg.

Abby grinned at him and went over to the laptop where she brought up a 3D image of teeth. “This is Tony’s.� she said as she pointed at the image. “The program uses laser scans of 3D objects to create three-D images for comparison.� She explained.
   
“Computer generated hollow volume overlay.  Measures inter-tooth spacing, dental arch, tooth thickness.� Chip added.
    
“Enough of the geek speak already its giving me a headache.� Tony complained.
   
The Goth ignored him and brought another image of teeth up on the screen. “This is Ducky’s muscle tissue scan, let’s 3D it for clarity. Valla the killers incisors. Then we see if they match…Relax Tony, the chances of even one of your teeth matching are like hundred thousand to one, you’re more likely to get eaten by a cow. By the way you and I need to have a little talk about hacking into other people’s emails.�

Tony gulped and started to protest when Gibbs held up a hand. “Today Abby!�

The Goth sighed as she crossed her fingers and pressed enter. The rest of them held their breath as the computer beeped and the two words no one wanted to see flashed across the screen: POSITIVE MATCH.


“But how did your teeth end up on there? It’s not like you go around chewing on people’s legs.� Maya asked

Tony chuckled. “I know, and that’s what the rest of the team had to figure out mean while…�


Tony sat quietly in the interrogation room waiting for his fate to be decided. He tried to keep occupied by thinking of names to add to the list of people who would want to frame him for murder. The FBI had taken over the investigation but the team was secretly helping, he had just been interviewed and while he treated the interview like one big joke he was freaking. He was so deep in his thoughts that he jumped when the door opened and Gibbs entered the silent room.

He silently walked over to the table, sat down opposite Tony and calmly drank his coffee. They sat in silence for a few moments until Tony couldn’t take it anymore.

“So…Uhh…Boss…did I pass?�

Gibbs just continued to stare at him.

“You know that technique only works on people who actually committed a crime! I am not one of those people!�

“Relax DiNozzo Fornell’s not gonna book you.�

“I sense a but.�

“He is taking you into custody until we figure a few things out.�


“Custody! You mean you had to go to jail!� Maya exclaimed.

“Yes but only until the rest of the team proved I was innocent.�


Tony had only been in his cell for a few hours, that’s how long he been pacing. He heard footsteps coming down the corridor towards him but didn’t bother looking up or even stop pacing.

“I smelled you coming, Boss.  Pepperoni, sausage, extra cheese, right?  My favourite.� He said as Gibbs handed him a pizza. “Thanks.  I’ll save that for later.  You know, I’ve been thinking.  I’m a federal prosecutor’s dream. 

‘You do tend to date a lot, don’t you, Mister DiNozzo?’ 

‘Yeah.  I do tend to date a lot but where does it say that dating, you know, a new girl every week is a crime?’ 

‘No, it’s not.  But it does speak to your deep-seated psychological problems and commitment issues.’ 

‘Really?  So you’re saying my intimacy issues stem from my mother who dressed me as a sailor until I was ten years old?! Maybe?!’

‘Well, I guess it might explain why you objectify women and treat them as sexual objects.  While you’re being so forthright and insightful, Mister DiNozzo, why did you sink your teeth into the victim’s leg?’ 

‘Because I’m angry, and I’m immature and I like control!’ 

‘You have no alibi.’  

‘Alibi?   How can I have an alibi when the murder doesn’t even have a time or a date?!’

‘That’s interesting.  What about means?  Latex glove?  Scalpel?  You could have gotten these things from ….work.  No?’  

‘Right.  Of course.  Yes, I ripped a glove at the scene.  It seems a little sloppy for a Federal agent who investigates crime scenes but, you know, those are the breaks when you’re a homicidal maniac dumping butchered women’s remains out in the woods in the middle of the night!  Right?!’   

I’m not getting out of this one, am I, Boss?� He said in one breath not even looking up at Gibbs.

Tony felt Gibb’s hand reach through the bars and smack the back of his head. “Are you done DiNozzo?�

“You know now you mention it I think I am.� Tony admitted.

“Good. Stop Pacing.� Gibbs ordered and Tony sat down on the bed, slumped down on the dirty bed, and quietly ate his pizza.
“DiNozzo!� Gibbs snapped making Tony look up at him. “Someone’s here to see you.�

Tony felt his heart jump. Maybe it was Sasha. Surely Abby had told her what had happened and she had come to beg him to take her back. But then why was she with Gibbs? He stood up and pressed his face against the bars to see…


“Sasha!� Maya exclaimed.

“No. I pressed my face against the bars to see Megan Ryan walking down the corridor towards your Uncle Gibbs and I.�


She looked exactly as Tony remembered her. Her long blonde her was tied back in a half pony tail she was wearing a tight white blouse and black pants.

She smiled and held out her hand to him. “It’s nice to see you again.� He looked blankly into her blue eyes for a moment before he realised he hadn’t taken her hand yet.

A head slap brought him abruptly to his senses. “Yeah you too, I would invite you in but I seem to have misplaced my key.�

She laughed and rolled her eyes while Gibbs glared at him.

“She’s been sent by JAG at my request to help prove your innocence if this goes to court.� Gibbs explained.

“No offence but you better be a really good lawyer because right now the only thing that says I didn’t do it is me.� Tony said to Megan as Gibb’s cell phone rang and he walked away.

“I am. Well I’m a better lawyer then I am a writer.� Megan replied once they were alone.

Tony chuckled. “I find that hard to believe. Anyway are you still with Stark?�

He noticed she blushed slightly at the question. “No…he dumped me for a sophomore. Told me it was for my own good.�

“Everybody seems to be using that line these days.� Tony replied.

* * *

Megan left an hour later with a promise to come back again in the morning. Just as Tony lay down he heard hurried footsteps rushing down the corridor, he got up to see what was happening and as he walked over two arms reached out and pulled him up close to the bars. Tony was about to reach for his gun when he realised he didn’t have it and there was no need for it because it was just his favourite Goth.

Her arms pulled him into an even tighter hug pressing his face into the cold steel of the prison bars.

“Tony! I’m so sorry. I must have screwed up.� Abby sobbed hugging him tighter.

“No you didn’t Abs.� He choked out
    
“I have all this evidence.  Forensics!  The thing that I love and I believe in.  And it says you’re a murderer. When your clearly not. I mean I know murderers; I help you and Gibbs put murderers away. I even dated a couple of murderers. And you Tony DiNozzo are not a murderer!�

“I know Abs.� He replied as he gasped for breath. “Now please let me go before I end up dying in jail.�

She grinned as she reluctantly let him go and sat down cross legged outside his cell. “Only you could make jokes at a time like this! To think I wanted to kill you with a highlighter this morning when I found out you hacked into Sasha’s emails. And McGee too because I know he taught you how to! Anyway something’s gotta give.  I mean, either the forensics are wrong or it’s bad forensics! And that means I’m a bad scientist and I’m not a bad scientist am I?�

“No you’re not Abs. You’re the best at what you do. And don’t you dare think any of this is your fault!�

“But if this goes to court with your fingerprint and bite mark on the leg, you’re going to prison for the rest of your life.  And I’ll be the one that put you there.�
  
* * *

“So tell me again where you were the night before last?� Megan asked him. It had been a long morning though Tony couldn’t really complain he actually enjoyed having Megan’s company even if steel bars separated them.

“Okay…umm…Oh I remember that was after me and Ziva had the undercover mission and I had been badly beaten up. Ziva offered to take me home. Chip had moved my car around the front of the building which bugged me because he is just plain creepy. I refused to Ziva driving me home because the last thing anyone wants to do after being beaten up is take a drive with Ziva behind the wheel.�

Megan chuckled. “Is she a bad driver?�

“You have no idea. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah and eventually she didn’t give me a choice in the matter, she not only drove me home but she made me dinner too.�

“What did you have?�

“Matzo Brei. Or at least I think that’s what she called it.�

“Pardon?�

“Matzo Brei. It’s a Jewish dish. It fried something or other. You’ll have to ask Ziva for the recipe. It’s quite tasty.�

“I might have to.� Megan replied. “What did you two do after dinner?�

“We watched an episode of Magnum. She is the only person I have ever met who loves it almost as much as I do.�

“It was a good show.� Megan agreed. “What episode was it?�

“It was my favourite episode.  The one where he finds himself adrift at sea after a boating accident and vividly relives his father’s death during the Korean War.� Tony remembered.

“Mine too.�

* * *

 Tony was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands when he heard footsteps in the corridor and then his name being called.

“Tony, are you alright?�

He looked up to see Ziva standing on the opposite side of the bars. “Ahh, my conjugal visit, shall we get started?� He grinned.

“Of course you are still treating this as a big joke�

“Well not much else to do but wait...� He sighed. “What can I do for you Zee-vah?�

“I just wanted to see how you were doing.�

“All the better that I have something beautiful to look at, excluding Gibbs of course, but he doesn’t have the appeal you do.�

She blushed slightly. “I heard you had a beautiful blonde to keep you occupied.�

Tony cringed. For some unknown reason he didn’t want to discuss Megan with her. “Oh yeah, all day talking lawyer mumbo-jumbo with the girl who won’t stop hinting about her past with Sa-� He realised he said too much and managed to stop himself. “Well she’s not here now she’s finished work. You are.�

Ziva raised her eyebrows. “Yes I am.�

He stood up and walked close to the bars where she stood so they were almost touching. “Thanks Ziva, I uh, I appreciate it.�

“We are partners are we not? It is what I am here for.�

He looked into her eyes then glanced down at her lips, trying to think of something to say to break the awkward silence. “Yeah... partners.� He clapped his hands together. “So! Missing me?�

She sighed. “Well it is certainly easier getting work done without having objects thrown at you and it has been a lot quieter. McGee does not talk as much but prefers to work.�

“You and McGeek, ergh. Sounds boring.�

“You sound jealous.�

“Maybe I am...�

“Of what?�

“Freedom. Perhaps?�

She walked along the bars, carefully fingering them. “I have been in cells much smaller than this before.�

He laughed. “Why am I not surprised?�

“What do you mean?�

“Never mind.� He shrugged. “Can I ask you something?�

“What is it?�

“How did you cope? When you were in these small cells?�

“I escaped.�

* * *

The next morning Tony was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling wondering how he was going to pass the morning, since Megan had sent a message saying she wouldn’t be able to come and see him until late that afternoon when he heard the sound of a harmonica being played. He walked over to the bars to see where the noise was coming from.

He peered through the bars to see McGee walking towards him playing a harmonica.

“Very funny, Probie.�

McGee stopped and handed the instrument to him. “Come on, Tony.  It’s a gift.�

“Who from?�

“Chip. He asked me to give it to you.�

Tony groaned. “Great.  Now I’m getting crap from lab monkeys.�

“Not for much longer.�

Tony grinned. “I knew Boss would get me out of here.  What did he find?�

“Well, hopefully the body that goes with those legs.� McGee replied.

Tony’s smile quickly faded. “What do you mean hopefully, Probie?�

“Abby matched the legs that you severed-�

“I didn’t sever any legs!� Tony yelled at him.

“Sorry, a slip of the tongue.� McGee apologised. “The legs you supposedly severed were DNA matched to a Carla Johnson who, you are not going to believe this-�

“I’ll believe it if it gets me out of here.�

“She’s alive!� McGee explained.

“With no legs!�

“No, she’s got legs.�

Tony reached through the bars and grabbed McGee by the collar. He was almost ready to cut his legs off.

“Okay, Tony.� McGee said nervously.

“Prison changes a man.� Tony muttered.

“Tony, come on, man.� McGee begged.

* * *

Tony was playing a blues tune on the harmonica when he saw Megan’s familiar face staring at him on the outside of the bars.

“That’s a nice gift.� She said.

He quickly stood up and threw the harmonica across the room. “Chip gave it to me. I guess he thought it would be funny.�

“Chip’s the weird one who drove your car round after your undercover mission?� Megan asked as she flicked through his statement.

“Yeah…Why?�

“It says here they found a carpet fibre in your car-�

Tony felt his face pale. “And he was the only person apart from Ziva and I to drive my car. You have to get me out of here now! He works with Abby! I have to warn her!�

Megan didn’t even ask him why he was in such a panic, she ran to one of the prison guards and ordered him to unlock Tony’s cell. Once they’d convinced the guard it was an emergency he unlocked the door and Tony grabbed Megan’s arm and rushed out towards the prison gate’s not even stopping to grab his personal possessions.


“Oh my god!� Maya exclaimed. “I knew there was something weird about Chip! I just knew it! So then what happened? Did you get to Auntie Abby in time? Or had he already started sawing off her legs?�

“Well…�


“Abs it’s me! Tony! Please ring me as soon as you get this it’s important! I just realised that Chip was in my car and-� Megan’s cell phone suddenly cut off. He looked at it to see that the battery had just died.

He cursed under his breath and ordered Megan to speed up. He never thought he’d wish that it was Ziva behind the wheel.

“Tony don’t worry from what you’ve told me, Abby is perfectly capable of looking after herself.� Megan tried to reassure him but it just made him worry more.

“Yeah and I thought it was impossible for someone to frame me for murder! Chip changed that! Just speed up!�

* * *

He rushed into the bullpen where his team-mates were all working quietly at their desks. They all stood up and began asking him questions about why and how he was out of jail. He ignored them and went straight to his desk where he grabbed his gun before heading back towards the elevator.

“DiNozzo! Mind telling me what the hell you’re doing?� He heard Gibbs yell at him.

“Abby’s in danger!� Tony quickly explained not bothering to stop and he heard Gibbs stand up and quickly follow him.

“Megan stay here!� He ordered her as he and Gibbs stepped into the elevator.

* * *

They rushed into the lab just in time to hear muffled shouts and a gunshot.

“Abby!� They both called out but no answer came.

They rushed over to where the shouts had come from to see Abby standing over Chip’s limp body.

“Now can I work alone?� The Goth asked them.

“So that’s why Auntie Abby refuses to work with anyone.� Maya realised.

“Yep. And we all agree and understand. She works better alone.�

“She likes me helping her though.� Maya pointed out.

“Of course she does.�

“Anyway…what happened with Megan? After you left her in the bullpen?�

“Well…


It took half an hour to calm Abby down and then Gibbs put McGee on protection detail before storming off to see the director to tell her about Chip and demand that Abby now worked alone. Once he left Abby in McGee’s capable hands, Tony rushed back up to the bullpen to find it empty apart from Megan sitting at his desk idly fiddling with a pen.


“Hey.� He greeted her leaning on the front of his desk.


“Hi. How’s Abby?� She asked.


“Good…You were right she can look after herself.�


“I’m glad.�


“Yeah…anyway since you got me out of jail then helped me solve the case would you like to have dinner with me?�


She grinned. “Sure. What did you have in mind?�


“Have you ever been to a little place I like to call Valentino’s?�


“Isn’t Valentino’s where you took Ziva after Auntie Alex couldn’t go?� Maya asked.

“Yes it is. Remember it is my favourite restaurant.�


“Did Sasha visit? While you were in custody?� Megan asked as she took another bite of her pasta.

Tony almost chocked on his food. “...No...She’s staring in someone else’s diary now.�

“Oh…She did mention...but I thought maybe...well. How are you Tony? You and Ziva seem kinda close...�

“You’ve seen her? Never mind I don't wanna know...anyway I’m okay glad to be a free man. Prison is nothing like what it is in the movies. Yeah we are we have to be, being partners and all.�

Megan raised her eyebrows. “Partners? In what way?� She asked him as she smiled coyly.

“Oh nothing like that we work together is all.�

She pouted playfully. “Oh boo, here I was thinking I could get myself into a threesome.�

Tony grinned. “That could be arranged.�

“And how do you plan on getting Ziva to join us without your boss murdering you, naughty boy.�

“Wouldn’t you like to know?�

“Indeed I would.� She said as she rubbed her foot against his leg under the table.

Tony cleared his throat. “Why don't I get the check and we take a walk?�

She laughed. “Where are we going?�

“There’s a park not far from here.�

She eyed him suspiciously. “...ok... why not?�

* * *

“Did you always want to be a lawyer?� Tony asked Megan as they walked through the park.

“No. until I was 16, I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to sing on Broadway.�

“Wow. Really?�

“Yeah, really, is that so hard to believe?�

“Well, aren’t actresses needy and emotional and, you know, insecure? That sort of thing.�

“What are you saying? That I don’t need? That I don’t have emotions? I’m an incredibly needy person.�

“I’m not saying that.� Tony defended himself.

“I’m a very needy person.�

They reached a park bench and Tony sat down. “You know what I’m saying? I’m saying I would really like to hear a song.�

Megan gulped. “I’m sorry.�

“Give us a song.� Tony insisted.

“You want me to sing you a song?� She asked nervously.

“Why not? You have a favourite?�

Megan nodded.

“You do?�

“Yeah.�

She handed him her bag. “Okay� she cleared her throat

‘How glad the many millions,
Of Anthony’s and Williams-�

“I’m an Anthony.�

“Don’t interrupt.�

‘Would be to capture me
But you had such persistence, you wore down my resistance
I fell and it was swell.

I’m your big and brave and handsome Romeo
How I won you I shall never never know
It’s not that you’re attractive
But, oh, my heart grew active
When you came into view

I’ve got a crush on you, sweetie pie
All the day and night-time give me sigh
I never had the least notion that
I could fall with so much emotion

Could you coo, could you care
For a cunning cottage we could share
The world will pardon my mush
Cause I have got a crush on you

Could you coo, could you care
For a cunning cottage
That we could share
The world will pardon my mush
Cause I have got a crush, my baby, on you.�

As she finished the song Tony pulled her into a deep passionate kiss.


“So you started dating Megan?� Maya asked.

“Yes and we may have had a sleepover that night and I felt happier with Megan then I had in a long time, but for reason I was reluctant to tell Ziva about Megan and I.�

“But you and Ziva were close! You were partners and partners tell each other everything!

He sighed. She was smart enough to see things he hadn’t but he wasn’t willing to tell her that. “Anyway as Megan and I started to get to know each other a little better that week your Uncle Probie got himself into some serious trouble and needed my help.�

“Oh My God!� Maya exclaimed. Why, what happened? Was Uncle Probie okay?�

“Yeah we were on duty and he shot a suspect who we discovered was an undercover police officer.�

“Oh no.�

“Yeah and then things got worse when the Director approved the investigation into whether it was self-defence or whether McGee shot him without reason. So I decided to go over to McGee’s apartment that night to cheer him up.


“C’mon Probie I know you’re in there. Open up.�

McGee finally opened the door and Tony was surprised to see his normally clean well-dressed workmate standing there looking like he hadn’t slept in days and in an old pair of sweatpants.

“I’m not in the mood for your jokes today.�

“Just let me in.�

McGee sighed and stepped aside. Tony gasped he had been in McGee’s apartment before but he didn’t remember it like this. There was leftover food lying on the bench, his normally tidy study had papers everywhere and even though Tony knew there was a desk buried underneath he could see it.

“Now that you’re in what do you want?� McGee asked impatiently.

“I’m taking you out.� Tony told him simply as he made his way into McGee’s bedroom.

“Where?�

“When the going gets tough, the tough go clubbing.� Tony said. “We have got to get you dressed.�

“I just want to be alone tonight, okay?�

“No, you don’t.� Tony insisted as he picked up the papers lying on the bed. “Still working on the novel, I see, huh?�

“Tony, I swear don’t hassle me tonight.�

“Would I be me if I didn’t?� Tony asked sarcastically as he started sorting through McGee’s wardrobe. “Have you got any party clothes?�

“Tony!� McGee warned.

Tony ignored him and continued sorting through the wardrobe. “Probie, you’re not going to be scoring in any of this stuff.�

“Hey, would you stop!  I’m not going anywhere!� McGee shouted at him.

Tony stopped and turned around to face the young agent. “Hey listen, man, I’m sorry.  I just wanted to…�

McGee sighed. “I know.  I know.  I know you’re just trying to help.  Tony, I’m not like you guys.  You were trained as a cop.  Gibbs was a Marine sniper.  Sasha protected the President of the United States.  God only knows what Ziva did for Mossad.  My background is biomedical engineering and computer forensics.  I don’t think I’m cut out to be a field agent.�
   
“The first time I shot at someone…. I wet my pants.� Tony admitted.

“Really?� McGee asked shocked.

“Really.� Tony nodded and headed towards the kitchen. “If you tell anyone that I will slap you silly.  Ooh, do you have anything to eat?  I know it’s bad.  I’ve been where you are.  But a week from now this will all be behind you.  Just a bad memory.�

* * *

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing work?� Megan asked Tony when he called while he tried to search for the registration of the SUV that McGee said fired at him.

“I am.� He replied. “It’s called multitasking.�

“Men can’t multitask.�

“DiNozzo men can.�

“I’ll have to test that.�

“How will you do that?�

“You’ll see.�

“Should I be worried?�

“Maybe you should.� Megan said seductively.

Tony was about to answer when he felt a pair of eyes watching him. “I gotta go. I’ll see you later tonight.� He said quickly to Megan before hanging up on her when she was mid-sentence.

He turned around and came face to face with Ziva. Her face was literally inches from his.

“Who was that?� She asked.

“No one.� He lied. He still didn’t want her to know about Megan. He didn’t exactly know why he didn’t want her to know about his new girlfriend just that she couldn’t know.

“You spent 15 minutes on the phone to no one?� She asked him curiously.

“Yep.� He replied. She glared at him and he glared back neither one of them giving up or wanting to. At least until Gibbs and a very anxious McGee walked into the bullpen and Gibbs head slapped Tony as he walked past.

Gibbs then uncharacteristically went over to the young agent who had slumped down at his desk and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I let you down.�

McGee looked at his boss in shock as did his co-workers. “Boss, I think it’s the other way around.�

“I should have gone with you to Metro.� Gibbs explained.

“I don’t think it would have made a difference.   I panicked.  I thought he had a weapon in his hand.  I need to face it.  I shot a good cop making an arrest.� McGee said slumping in his seat again.

“What cop makes a drug bust without a weapon?� Gibbs wondered aloud.

“None!� Abby exclaimed as she rushed out of the elevator and over to McGee’s desk. “Rule Number Eight is going to save you, McGee!�

“Never date a co-worker?� Tony wondered as he went over to lean on McGee’s desk.


“Never go anywhere without your knife.� Ziva corrected.


“I thought that was nine.� Tony argued.


“Never take anything for granted.� Gibbs told them.


“Never take anything for granted.� Maya exclaimed as she had grown up around Gibbs and memorised all his rules.


“Correcto, Jefe.  But then again, you did make up the rules so-� Abby started to ramble before Gibbs stopped her.

“Get to the point, Abs.�

“I didn’t do forensics on the jacket because we knew what happened.  Then I remembered Rule Numero Ocho.�
   
“Gunshot residue.� Tony realised.

The Goth nodded. “Based on the density and the pattern of the stippling and the sooting, one of the slugs in Lieutenant Benedict was fired from only one foot away.�
 
“One of my shots missed?� McGee realised and Tony noticed a little more colour went into the Probie’s face.

Tony grinned. “I knew you weren’t that good, Probie.  Three for three at twenty five meters?  I don’t think so.�
   
“Halligan shot him from behind the wheel.� Gibbs explained.

“Wrong, Boss!� Tony exclaimed.

“Slap him, Ziva.� Gibbs ordered her as he was too far away to reach Tony and Ziva who was standing next to Tony obeyed and hit him harder than Tony thought was really necessary.


Tony glared at her as he rubbed his head before turning to his boss. “If Halligan was behind the wheel then he was five or six feet away.  I pulled the registration from the Range Rover.  It was brought into DMV for an inspection because it was imported from Ireland.  Right hand drive.  British like Ducky’s Morgan.  Steering wheels on the right hand side.� He reported.
   
“The person I saw arguing with Benedict was a passenger.� McGee realised.

“There was a third man.� Gibbs agreed.

“That’s a great movie.  Joseph Cotton.  Orson Welles.� Tony joked.

* * *

“If you ever Gibbs-slap me again I will slap you back harder!� Tony warned Ziva as they searched for the missing bullet.

“I was following orders.� She reminded him.

“The dutiful Mossad agent.� Tony teased her. “You miss the spy game?  It must have been exciting.�    
“You have seen too many James Bond movies.  It’s not all about car chases and sex.� She explained as they knelt down to look for the bullet.
  
“It wasn’t?�

“Well, there was a lot of sex.� Ziva admitted as Tony’s cell phone rang.

He grinned as he looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Megan. “Hey, can I call you back now is not a great time. I’ll see you tonight.�

“Still no one?� Ziva asked curiously.

“Ah, it’s nothing.� He lied.

She raised her eyebrows. “You get these calls all day and it is nothing?�

“Drop it.� Tony warned.

“I do not know why you are so insistent on lying to me.�

“I’m not.�

“I am Mossad I know when someone is lying.�

“Let’s focus on finding the bullet.� Tony said trying to change the subject.

“Don’t have to.� She replied as she held up the bullet for him to see.


“Oooh so Ziva is like a human lie detector?� Maya asked.

“Yeah and you’re not the first one to say that either.� Tony replied.

“Hmm interesting…So what happened with Uncle Probie did he shoot him? Because I don’t think he did.�

“We discovered that McGee shot after someone inside the car shot at him. And the dead cop suspected his partner was working with the criminal he was trying to catch and he could’ve been in the back seat and shot the driver.�

“What do you mean could’ve?�

“Even though Abs did all she could there was no way to tell who fired the kill shot.� Tony explained.

“You know how Uncle Gibbs knows everything?� Maya asked. “Well did he know about your relationship with Megan?�

“Umm…Maybe…I never asked him.�

“I might one day. Anyway what happened next? Did you and Megan have another sleepover?�

“Well…I did need her help with something else that week.� Tony admitted.

“Oh no what happened? Did someone try to kill Aunty Abby or Ziva?�

“No. nothing like that, I had an important ceremony to attend and needed help with-�

“With what?�

“Shopping for an appropriate outfit.� Tony admitted.

Maya laughed. “Shopping?�

“Yes shopping as I said I had an important ceremony to attend and I needed her opinion.�

Tony sighed as he tried on the latest shirt Megan had picked out for him to try on. They had spent most of the night searching for the perfect shirt for Tony to wear to tomorrow’s award ceremony.

He put the latest shirt on and opened the changing room door to show Megan who tried to hide her laughter in her hands when she saw him.

“What?� He asked.

She didn’t answer him but motioned for him to turn around and look at himself in the mirror.

Tony slowly turned around to look at what he had put on and gave a gasp of horror. Sure it was late and he was tired but he should’ve paid more attention to what he was putting on. The shirt was white with frilly sleeves and looked like something out of the 80s.

“You know, it really isn't so bad.� Megan told him as she walked up behind him and wrapping her arms around him.

“You know what the funny part is? It’s a thousand dollars.� Tony laughed as he turned around to face her.

“I think it suits you.�

“I think it would look better on the floor.� He replied moving closer to her.

“Of course you do.� She said as she leaned forward to kiss him.

* * *

“Nice shirt.� Ziva whispered to Tony as they watched their colleges get there awards. The Director’s assistant Cynthia announced the next award, the Meritorious Civilian Service medal, and the Director called for Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

“Where is Gibbs?� Ziva wondered.

“Gibbs never comes to an award ceremony.� Ducky told her.

“Even if he's the one receiving?� Ziva asked.

“Especially if he's the one receiving,� Ducky assured her.

Cynthia called Gibb’s name again as Tony saw McGee hand $20 to Abby which disappeared up her sleeve.

Tony sighed as started to walk up to the podium.

“Where is Special Agent Gibbs?� Director Sheppard asked him as he reached for the medal.

“He had to work.� Tony lied as Cynthia announced he would be accepted the award on Gibb’s behalf. He turned to his audience and held up the medal. “It’s an honour to accept this on my boss’s behalf. I know he’d have liked to thank all of us on his team including Doctor Mallard and Ab-�

“Thank you Agent DiNozzo and thank you all for coming here today.� Director Sheppard interrupted him.

Tony’s grin faded as people took that as their cue to leave. Abby rushed up to him and gave him a hug, thanking him for almost mentioning her.



“Aww why didn’t Uncle Gibbs go to get his award?� Maya asked. “Didn’t he think he deserved it?�

“You know your Uncle Gibbs never goes to award ceremonies.� Tony reminded her.

“But he got something. He should’ve been proud of himself.� She insisted.

“We did have an important case that he was probably working on.�


* * *

“So you accept all of his medals for him?� Ziva asked as they were unpacking the van at the crime scene.

“Yep and then I dispose of them like he asks me to.� Tony replied.

“I expected to see your mysterious caller at the ceremony today?�

“They were busy.� Which was true, Megan had to work or else she would’ve gone with him.

“Who was busy?� McGee asked as he joined them.

“Tony’s new girlfriend,� Ziva explained as she eyed Tony, “Or boyfriend.�

“Ziva!� Tony exclaimed outraged before turning to look at a very confused McGee. “It was no one Probie, Zee-Vah doesn’t know what she’s talking about.�

Ziva looked at Tony curiously. “Yes I believe I do I was refering to the person you have been call -�

She was interrupted by the sight of a mob of reporters at the gate to Quantico and Gibbs, out in front of the team, striding towards them, coffee cup in hand.

“Wait!� Maya interrupted. “Why were there reporters at the crime scene?�

“Because the modal that was killed was on a reality TV show.�

“Oh…So were you on TV?�

“Well…�

“Look there’s Ducky, looking sharp as always, followed by the autopsy gremlin.� Tony said as they watched the latest news report on their case. “Look! There! Right there! My jacket!�

Ziva laughed and flicked Tony’s ear lightly. “I recall that being McGee.�

Tony couldn’t believe it the camera had shown everyone else in the team but him. How was he supposed to go back to his girlfriend and tell her he was on TV? “No. I’m telling you that is my jacket!� He insisted. “They have to have some footage of me!�

“You’re lucky Tony. The camera added at least ten pounds to me.� McGee complained.

“Are you sure you’re not confusing the camera with your refrigerator Probie?� Tony asked him sarcastically. “I wonder if Gibbs has seen this.�

“I do not know but I am positive the Director has since Gibbs has been up in her office for the last half an hour.� Ziva replied.

“Does anybody else think that they were more than partners back in the day?� Tony asked but by the looks on their faces he realised that Gibbs was standing behind him. “Boss…Ummm…I didn’t mean you and the Director I meant…Cagney and Lacey.�

Not fooled at all, Gibbs slapped the back of Tony's head and asked for a report from the team.

* * *

Tony walked into Abby's lab where the music is blaring. He called out to Abby several times, getting louder each time to be heard above the music.

Abby leapt out from behind her computer monitors saying "TA DA" and holding a bouquet of black roses. “They’re for you.� She told him.

“Umm…Thanks…They’re quite…black.� He replied as he carefully took them and read the card that was attached.

“That’s cool. The card says get well soon because they didn't have a ‘sorry I almost sent you to prison’ card.� The Goth explained.

“Abby it wasn’t almost; you did send me to prison!� Tony reminded her.

“Not for good.� Abby sighed. “You hate me don’t you?�

"I could never hate you. I don't think anyone could ever hate you," Tony assured her.

“I don’t know Billy Bob. But there was this one guy I knew and he…well he was pretty weird…wanting me to kiss places that a human mouth should never go…anyway here.� She said as she presented Tony with the vase and reminded him to water them so they don't die.

“I thought they already were dead.� Tony replied.

* * *

Tony walked into the bullpen bearing his vase of black roses to find Ziva watching Boot Camp Babes.

“It is called research, Tony� Ziva explained. “I am searching for a lead.�

“Before you know it you'll be sitting at home eating a large box of chocolates, watching the Food Network on your 50-inch plasma.� Tony warned.

“No. I have other interests to keep my mind occupied.� She replied slyly. “Not everyone in America watches so much TV. Look at McGee for example.�

“Yeah,� McGee agreed. “I watch 20 minutes of TV here and there.�

Tony laughed. “Yeah but tell her what you do the rest of the time you insist you aren’t watching TV. He pretends to be a fairy in an online computer game,� Tony told Ziva.


“It's an Elf Lord,� McGee protested.

Tony made a W with his hand “whatever.�


Gibbs stormed into the squad room and told them that Keller didn't commit suicide, he was murdered. The team looked at Gibbs as he sat down at his desk. He half-stood and asked Tony and Ziva what they are doing still there. They are to find out why. McGee walked over to Gibbs desk to tell him he may have something. Gibbs looked up and said “Are you waiting for me to guess, Elf Lord?� Tony stifled his laughter. McGee tells Gibbs that the night before he was murdered; Keller received two calls from his business manager and a third call, from Hannah.


* * *

“Where is Gibbs?� Ziva asked Tony for what seemed the millionth time as they waited in the observation room for Gibbs to interview their latest suspect, the dead girl’s boyfriend.

“It’s one of his many techniques, ‘Rock the baby’, I promise you Gibbs will bust in there any moment now and that big bad Marine will jump like a little girl.�

The door to observation suddenly burst open making Tony jump as Gibbs walked in. “I’m not interviewing him.� Their boss told them.

Tony moved towards the door. “Thanks boss I haven’t done this in ages.�

“Ziva is.� Gibbs said simply.

“I’ve never interrogated anyone without inflicting some form of pain.� Ziva reminded him but Gibbs just looked at her, holding out the file. Ziva took it hesitantly and went into the interrogation room.

Once in interrogation Ziva took her chair and pushed it over to the wall away from their suspect. “That’s a new technique.� Tony commented.

“She’s removing herself from the temptation of touching him.� Gibbs explained.


* * *

“No way! Tony exclaimed when the ex Marine admitted that he was in love with their victim, a super model. “The idea of a super model falling in love with a guy like that.�

“Why is that so hard to believe DiNozzo?� Gibbs asked.

“Super models date guys like George Clooney, or guys with bank accounts like George Clooney's, or the actual George Clooney, but they do not date guys like this one.� Tony explained.


“Meaning Marines, DiNozzo?� Gibbs asked.

Tony gulped. “Well…Umm…I didn’t mean…Marines…like you boss…I meant…� Fortunately, Gibbs' phone rings just then. It is Abby and she has something for him.

Once Gibbs left Tony turned back to watch Ziva. Suddenly their suspect started coughing and gasping for breath even though Ziva hadn’t touched him. Tony rushed in to help her but by this time the suspect had turned over the table. He threatened them before throwing a chair at Tony before he smashed him into the wall. He then started towards Ziva.

Maya sat up abruptly. “Oh no! Where was Gibbs? What did you do?�

“Hey calm down, we were fine just as we pinned him down Gibbs came to warn us that our suspect was over dosing on PCP the drug we found in our victim’s system and then Abs lifted a print on a snuff can matched a print lifted from the second victim’s syringe so whoever killed Taylor also killed Noah and tried to kill McMannis.�


* * *

Tony and Gibbs fingerprinted the other two modals on the TV show. The manger accuses one modal saying she was always jealous of their first victim. They cleared the modals because they both have records.

“I didn’t kill her!� The manger Cranshaw denied. “I loved her!�

Gibbs roughly grabbed him and cuffed him while Tony took his hand and fingerprinted him.

“I demand my lawyer!� Cranshaw demands.

“We don’t need permission to take your prints.� Gibbs told him. “You’re under arrest for the murders of Taylor Shane, Noah Keller and the attempted murder of Staff Sergeant McMannis.�

“You didn’t want Taylor to give up her career to marry a Marine, but he couldn't stop her. But you knew about her addiction to nicotine. You killed your own daughter.� Ziva said to Cranshaw.

“It was an accident I didn’t mean to kill her but what was I supposed to do? She was going to throw her life away. Be some, some jarhead's housewife,� Cranshaw protested as he was hauled away in cuffs.

“You really find them attractive?� Ziva asked Tony as they walked away together. She was refering of course to the ditsy modals starring in Boot Camp Babes.

“Oh yeah!� Tony told her.

“Well, I want to shoot them.� Ziva said.
* * *


“I can’t be wrong when it’s my opinion Tony.� McGee pointed out.

“You’re wrong Probie because it’s the wrong opinion!� Tony shot back.

“Can you two just agree to disagree? You are giving me a head hurt.� Ziva told them.

“It’s head ache Zee-vah.� Tony replied. “What do you think boss?� He asked Gibbs who was sitting at his desk.

“About what DiNozzo?� Gibbs asked.


"Never mind," Tony said as he leant back in his desk chair. McGee glared at him as he left for the day. Ziva shrugs her shoulders and also left for the day.



Gibbs turned off his desk lamp as he started to leave as well.

Tony pulled a box out and asked “I don't suppose you want this� he said as he showed Gibbs the medal from the awards ceremony.

Gibbs looked at the medal and then away without answering. "I'll get rid of it" Tony assured him and snapped the box shut.

“Go home Tony.� Gibbs ordered him.

“I’m just finishing up a few things boss.� Tony assured him.

“Your flowers are dead.� Gibbs said as he noticed the black roses before he headed towards the elevator.
Tony turned to look at the roses as he unlocked his desk. He paused to admire the medal before he put it in a locked box in his bottom drawer.

“So you didn’t really throw away Uncle Gibb’s medals? You kept them safe for him.� Maya realised.

Tony nodded. “But don’t tell him okay.�

“Pinkie promise.� Maya said as she held out her littlest finger and Tony shook it with his own pinkie finger. “So did you get to spend your days off with your latest girlfriend?� She asked him.

“Well almost…�


Tony woke up and glanced over top of the sleeping figure next to him. It was officially his day off and he planned to spend the entire day spoiling the girl he cared about.

Megan rolled over to look at him. “How long have you been awake?�

He grinned and stroked her hair. “Not long. I’ve just been lying here think how I’m the luckiest guy alive.�

“How do you work that out?� She asked him with a smile.

“I get to wake up next the most beautiful woman.� He told her before gently kissing her.

“I bet you tell all your girlfriends that.�

“You can ask Sasha when you next see her if you want?�

She pulled away from him. “Tony I-�

He moved closer and caressed her face. “Relax I was joking.�

“I didn’t think it was very funny.�

“Oh c’mon. I’ll tell you what; I’ll let you pick what we do today. Anything! Even if you drag me along to that latest exhibit at the art museum you want to see.� He promised her.

“Hmm…� She considered. “You know what I’ve never done?�

“What?�

“I've never spent the whole day in bed with a really great guy.�

“Me neither.�

She laughed “I’m serious. I’ve always found an excuse to get up.�

“Are you hinting at something?�

“Mmm.� She moaned as he kissed her passionately.

As they moved closer they were interrupted by the ringing of Tony’s cell phone. He groaned but continued kissing Megan.

“Shouldn’t you get that?� Megan asked between kisses.

“Nah,� He replied. “It’s my day off it can’t be that important.�

As the answering machine picked up Tony groaned as he heard Gibbs voice.

“DiNozzo, I know it’s your day off but we got a call about some smuggled weapons at a shipyard we need you and Zi-�

Tony, not wanting Megan to hear what Gibbs was about to say, quickly rolled over and picked up the phone. “On my way boss.� He told him quickly before turning to face Megan who was frowning. “I’m sorry I have to go into work Gibbs needs me.�

She sighed before turning away from him. “It’s okay, I understand.�


* * *

“Damn I had to spend my day off searching for smuggled weapons in a damn shipyard with you when I should be spending it in bed with Megan!� Tony complained as he and Ziva walked between shipping containers on the docks.

“You are not the only one whose plans got cancelled today Tony.� Ziva reminded him.

“You can clean your gun any day Zee-vah.�

“Actually I had plans with McGee.�

“Her golden hair running down her naked back, our lips crashing together,� Tony sighed, “Wait, back up a second.  You were with McGeek?�

“No.  He was with me.  I was making him lunch.� She explained.


“Why would you make McGee lunch?�


“I like to cook.�


“But for McGee?�

“And Jimmy.�

   
“Palmer?!� Tony exclaimed. “I can’t believe it, you’re cooking lunch for McGee and the autopsy gremlin?  At what point did the Earth come off its axis?�

    
“Perhaps now, Tony.�  She looked up ahead and saw an open container. “What’s wrong with that picture?�
    
“Containers aren’t unloaded at the dock.� He realised as they pulled out their guns and ran to inspect the container. Finding nothing inside, they put away their guns.

Suddenly a fire fight broke out so Tony and Ziva took cover inside the container where they got locked in.

“I think we’ve just been screwed in here, Tony.�


“The term is bolted.� He corrected her


Ziva shrugged. “Same difference.�


“So you got to spend your day off stuck in a crate with Ziva instead of with Megan?� Maya observed.

Tony nodded. “Yup and it wasn’t really that bad.�



* * *

“I tried that.� Tony told Ziva as she kicked the side of the crate. “It’s bolted from the outside.�

“I knew your idea was stupid.� She replied as she kicked the wall again.


“My idea?�

“Yes.� She nodded. “Taking up a defensive position inside a metal box!   Yes!�

 

“You’re not panicking on me, are you?�


“I do not panic!  This is me… mad!�

Tony held his cell phone above his head but no matter where he held it he wasn’t getting any reception. “I’m not getting any reception.  How about you?�


“I am braless.� She replied.


He looked her up and down curiously. “I noticed that earlier.  But on your phone they’re bars.�

 
“Do you have anything better to do than correct my English?�

    
“Like what?�


“Like getting us out of this box you trapped us in.� She reminded him.


He moved closer to her so they were only inches apart “Okay, first of all, this is not my fault.  Second of all, I like dark, tight spaces.�


She raised her eyebrows. “Unless, of course, they insist on some form of commitment.�

“For your information I’m happily in a relationship with a beautiful woman and have been for a while now.

“Aha, the mysterious caller.� She realised.
   
Tony coughed. “Anyway, it looks like our smugglers have removed most of the cargo.  So they’re probably not coming back.� He said quickly changing the subject.


“We are still locked in a box and freezing to death.� Ziva reminded him glumly.

    
“Somebody might have heard the gunfire.� Tony said hopefully.


“Yeah, well if they did, they would be here by now.� She pointed out.

  
Tony suddenly had an idea. “Ooh, you know what we could do?  Fire a couple of rounds out of these ventilation shafts.  Maybe someone will hear us.�
    

“Oh, yeah.  Maybe they did not hear the massive fire fight.  So let us just waste the little ammunition we have.  You know what?  You’re brilliant.  Genius!� Ziva replied sarcastically.
    

“Sarcasm is the refuge of a shallow mind.  What do you suggest we do?�
   

“I suggest we bust out of here now.�


It was Tony’s turn to be sarcastic. “Okay, Bugsy, I’ll take care of the security guard and I’ll go through the front gate.�
   

“Tony, this is not funny!  It is not funny!� Ziva yelled at him.


“I know!� He yelled back before regaining his composure. “What we need to do is relax, remain calm, and wait.� He said calmly as he sat down leaning against a wall of the container.
    

Ziva started to pace the length of the container. “For what?  For them to come in with reinforcements?�
   

“For Gibbs,� Tony explained, “trust me.  He’ll find us.�
   

Ziva sighed and slumped down beside him. “I believe you.  The question is, will it be before we freeze to death?�

* * *

“So who is this Megan?� Ziva asked him as they searched through one of the crates that held DVDs.

“Just my girlfriend.�

“Oh…wait wasn’t your lawyer called Megan?�

“Yup and now I’m dating her.�

Ziva seemed suddenly uncomfortable and stood up and started pacing again. “What if we blow a hole at the bottom of this door, near where the bolt is?�

  
“Why?�


“It might enable us to jam something under it and force it open.� She explained.
   

Tony stood up and shock his head. “Not liking it.  Firing a bullet in the air… it’s bound to ricochet-�


She ignored him and fired a bullet which ricocheted around the container narrowly missing Tony and only because as soon as she saw the bullet heading towards him she dived towards him knocking him over.
  

“Ha!  As I was saying, there’s a good chance the bullet might ricochet and kill one of us!�
    

“Sorry.�


He then noticed she hadn’t moved from her position on top of him. “Why are you on top of me?�
   

I am protecting you, Tony.� She explained.
   

“Don’t.�


“Well you didn’t seem to mind when we were undercover.� She reminded him.


“That might have something to do with the fact that you were naked.�


“Perhaps if it were warmer in here.  Hm?�


“Let me rephrase the question.� He said impatiently. “Why are you still on top of me?�


“Finally!� Maya exclaimed.

“What?� Tony asked completely confused.

“You finally stopped hiding your relationship with Megan from Ziva.� Maya explained.

Tony nodded.

“It’s about time, I mean from the sounds of it you couldn’t really hide anything from Ziva for very long.�

“Yeah not even the secret compartment could hide from her.�

“Secret compartment?� Maya asked eagerly.

“Yeah, we discovered this counterfeit money, hidden in a false wall of the container. We first tried burning some in the hope that the smoke (leaving by the ventilation holes) would attract attention. It didn't, but instead the container was loaded on a truck-� Tony explained but Maya interrupted him.

“Oh no. So just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse it did.�

Tony nodded. “But we started dropping the money from the container, leaving a Hansel-and-Gretel trail of money for someone to find and follow us.�

“Did it work?�

“Well…�



* * *

Tony was trying, with the help of some DVD cases in the cargo, Ziva's jewellery and hairpins, to make an antenna for the mobile that will stick out of the ventilation holes.

“How’s it coming?� Ziva asked.


“My fingers aren’t working.� Tony complained.

 

“Do you want me to do it?�


“I’ve got it.  Just give me one of your little hair squinchie things.� He told her.
    

For once Ziva got to correct him. “The term is scrunchie.� She replied as she handed her hair tie to him.
   

“Thank you.  Now I’ve just got to figure out how to attach this thing to the cell phone.�


“We may not need to.  We now have several hundred thousand dollars out there floating around.  It’s a matter of time before they find us.� Ziva pointed out.


Unfortunately by that time the container was open, and even though Tony and Ziva were hidden in the secret compartment of the container the bad guys knew they were in there. When they were challenged, Ziva managed to shoot the leader in the foot. They pushed the antenna out and got a call out very briefly to Gibbs, just enough to tell him the clue of the money, not long enough for their location to be pinpointed, but enough to allow Abby to narrow it down to a 500sq m area.



Just as things seemed like they couldn’t get worse they ran out of ammo, but just in the nick of time the dock controller arrived and ordered the bad guys to put their hands up.



“You two had a lot of people worried, let me tell you.� He told Tony and Ziva.



“Where’s Gibbs?� Tony asked.



“He’s on his way.� He replied. “Hey, do me a favour.  Cover them while I radio for some help.�

 

“We’re out of ammo.� Ziva told him.



The dock controller suddenly turned his gun on him. “Ah, gee.  That’s too bad.  Come on, Wilson.  Get up.  Get the money.  Get it into the van.  Quickly!  We don’t have a lot of time.  Hurry up!� He said to the leader of the bad guys.

    

“When this is over, the woman is mine!� The leader replied.



“We’ll see, Wilson. I’ll be perfectly honest with you.  I don’t know if they’re going to be alive then.� The dock controller said before turning back to face Tony and Ziva. “You know, you two almost cost me fifty million dollars.�

   

“Actually, by now it’s more like ten or twelve.� Tony corrected him.



“We burned some of it.� Ziva added.



“Do you think this is funny?!� He shouted at them.



“Not me, personally.� Tony replied.



“But I do.  Drop it.� Ordered a voice behind them. They turned around to see Gibbs standing right behind the dock controller with his gun to the man’s head. He glanced at his agents. “Are you two okay?�



Tony nodded as Ziva shock her head before kicking the bad guy’s leader hard in the groin. He groaned in pain before dropping to the ground.




Ziva wiped her hands as she looked down on the man before turning to face Tony and Gibbs. “Now if you gentlemen will excuse me.�



“Where are you going?� Tony asked her.



“I’ve been locked in a box all day!  The ladies room!� She exclaimed as she walked off with her legs firmly wedged together.


     

Maya laughed. “Ziva’s a big scary Mossad agent and the first thing she does when she gets let out of a metal box is go to the toilet.�

“Well it’s not like she could go inside the crate.� Tony pointed out.

“Hmm…okay you might be right,� Maya admitted, “So what was the first thing you did once you were allowed out of the crate?�

“Well after Ziva waddled off and I thanked Gibbs I realised I had reception on my cell phone again and immediately checked my messages to find I had a few missed calls from Megan.�




* * *


As Gibbs walked away to phone Abby to let her know Tony and Ziva were safe and as soon as they were ready they would be on their way back, Tony grabbed his phone and dialled Megan’s number after receiving some worried messages from her.



“Hello,� He sighed as he heard her familiar voice with a hint of worry in it.



“Hey Megan, did you miss me?�



“Tony! Where the hell have you been? I’ve been so worried!�



“Hey, hey, calm down. We ran into some trouble and we couldn't get reception all day or else I would have called to apologise.� He explained.



“What for?�


“For rushing out on you this morning.�



“Oh that, look never mind I’m just glad you’re okay.�



“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. We’re just on our way back to the office now-�



“I’ll meet you there.� She told him before hanging up.



* * *


As soon as Tony entered the bullpen he was almost knocked off his feet by the full force of Abby running towards him and engulfing him in a hug.



“Oh my god.  Are you okay?� She asked him.


“Abs I’m fine, okay. We both are.� He replied glancing at Ziva.


The Goth saw his glance and moved from Tony to hug Ziva tightly.



Ziva looked at the Goth completely confused. “What was that for?� She asked Abby.


“It’s a hug.� Abby explained. “You know a warm embrace showing how much you love someone. Not that love is always shown in that way because different people show love in different ways, Gibbs with his head slaps, Tony with his sarcasm, and me with my hugs.�



A voice interrupted them before Ziva could say anything. They turned around to see Megan hurrying towards them; Tony turned towards her and caught her in his arms, from the corner of his eye he saw Ziva quickly look away from the couple.



“I’m just so glad you’re okay.� Megan said to him once they finally pulled apart.



“I told you we were.�


Megan suddenly seemed to notice the others in the room. “We?� She asked.


Tony kept his arm around her as he introduced her to his teammates, leaving Ziva ‘til last.


The two women looked each other up and down inspecting each other. Finally Megan spoke. “So this is the famous Ziva?�


Ziva nodded mutely.


“So Zee-vah, when do I get to taste your cooking again?� Tony asked lightly trying to break the tension



“Her cooking rocks, Tony!� Abby said. “What was the name of that dish you made for lunch?�

    
“Chunks.  Slow cooked beef with potatoes and beans.  It wasn’t bad.� Gibbs added before walking towards the elevator.



“Why don’t you all come over to my place for dinner tonight?� Ziva invited them. “There will be more than enough for all of us.�



Abby nodded eagerly as she jumped up and down in the air before rushing for the elevator telling Ziva her and McGee would be there at seven.



Tony turned to Megan. “What do you think, you up for a free meal?�



“Sure,� She replied, “Why not? It sounds like fun.�



Tony turned to Megan. “What do you think, you up for a free meal?�



“Sure,� She replied, “Why not? It sounds like fun.�

“Ooh,� Maya sat up rearranged her pillows behind then lay back down spreading her arms out over her soft toys. “So you and Megan were invited to dinner at Ziva's. This ought to be interesting.�



“Yeah, that’s why I was hesitant to go. Remember how they were when they met in the bullpen? I really didn't want things to escalate when we went to dinner. If Ziva could kill someone 18 different ways with a paper clip I hate to think what damage she could do with a dinner knife.�




“Why do you wanna go anyway? When we could always stay in and have pizza in bed?� Tony asked Megan as she stood in his bathroom in a semi-formal dress putting on make-up before they left for the dinner he really didn't want to go to.



Megan put her make-up in her purse and looked over at him where he was lying on the bed. “Anything to get in bed. And I suppose the fact there's pizza in it with you is an added bonus? Come on Tony, I'd like to get to know the people you work with better.�



“You can get to know them any time.� He pointed out.



“Oh come on Tony, when do we have the time? With our jobs one of us is busy and when were not it’s the middle of the night, and there is always someone stopping me from sleeping.� She pointed out.



He sighed and got up to wrap his arms around her. “I know you're right but I just think right now is not the right time.�



“This is because of today isn't it? Did something happen? Is that why she invited you to dinner, did she, I don't know, attack you? Are you okay?�



He laughed and hugged her tighter. “No nothing like that, I promise.�



She pulled away from him. “Then what's the problem? Don't you want me to meet your co-workers?�



Tony groaned. He knew she had him there. “Fine, okay, okay, you win. We go to dinner but I want you to know I think this is a really bad idea.�



She laughed, kissed him softly, and turned to continue to get ready. “Okay honey. You should wear those new shoes I brought you; they go great with that dress shirt.�




He sighed and did as he was told.



* * *


They arrived at Ziva's a little later then they were supposed to because Tony tried everything in his power to change Megan's mind from going to dinner but with no luck.



They were led into Ziva's apartment to find Abby and McGee curled up on the couch with wine glasses in their hands watching TV. Tony slumped down next to McGee while Megan and Abby took the bottle of wine they had brought on the way into the kitchen to Ziva.



“Hey Probie. Nice to see you and Abby are finally getting it on.� Tony said once the women were all in the kitchen.


Tony tried to keep the smile from his face as the younger agent went bright red. “Umm...No...No...No...Abby and I...You see...We're just friends...She made me come here...Not that I didn't want to...I mean...Ziva's a really good cook and Abby wanted me to come so she could meet Megan-� McGee stuttered before Tony finally had the heart to stop him.


“Stop while you’re behind Probie, I may as well hand you the shovel now.�


“What would McGee need a shovel for?� Ziva asked as the women joined them.


McGee went redder as Tony laughed.


Tony felt sorry for him so he quickly changed the subject. “So Zee-Vah what's for dinner?�


“Roast Veal with Aromatic Herbs and Potatoes.�



Tony felt his jaw drop. “Really?�


Ziva looked at him curiously. “Why is that so surprising?�


“It's the meal my grandmother used to make me and Alex on our birthdays.� Tony explained.


Megan gasped. “You never told me that.�


Tony gulped. “You never asked.�


“You never talk about your family.� Megan shot back.


“You never ask.� Tony repeated.


“I do ask!�


“I'm sure I've told you about Alex!�


Megan rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, coincidence. God she was right, I should've listened, Sash-�


Tony felt his hands curl up into fists. “Don't bring her into this.�


“But Tony isn’t it obvious! She gave her everything to you, but you barely speak! You don't want to talk about work, you don't want to talk about your family, you don't want to talk about your emotions, but you just expected her to accept that. No wonder she lef-�


“Sorry to interrupt but I thought you should know that dinner is ready.� Ziva said as she poked her head through the kitchen door.


Tony let out a sigh of relief and gave his partner a thankful look before turning to face his girlfriend. “Why don't we have dinner now, I promise we will talk later and I'll tell you all about the horrors of my sailor suit wearing childhood.�


Megan nodded. “Okay, but don't think you're getting off that easily.�

* * *


Ziva’s dining room was as small as the rest of the apartment, with a small round oak table and matching chairs in the middle of the room.

Tony and Megan took their seats and Abby and McGee took the seats on the opposite side of the table. Tony suddenly felt uncomfortable as he looked at the one empty seat on the right side of him.

Ziva walked out of the kitchen holding a large platter. She set the platter down on the table and delicious smells filled the room. Tony felt his mouth start to water as he gazed hungrily at the slab of meat surrounded by potatoes coated in rosemary.

“B'Teavon� She said, “Bon appetite!� She added when everyone in the room looked at her confused.

Tony laughed and raised his glass. “B'Teavon�

“B'Teavon� The others repeated before everyone started reaching for the food.

“It tastes delicious Ziva.� Megan commented as she took a bite of her potatoes.

“Its amazing Ziva, just like my Gran made it� Tony added.

“Thank you.�

“You'll have to tell me where you found the recipe.� Megan said.

“I made it as I went along, following the general recipe but I altered it to my own preferences.� Ziva replied.

“Whatever you did or added it turned out great Ziva.� Abby said as she stole a bite off McGee's plate.

“Thank you Abby.� Ziva replied.

“You’ll have to cook us some of your countries foods.� Megan said.

Ziva took a bite of her meal before replying. “Sometimes. I do not eat much traditional Israeli food; I like to experience other cultures.

“Well you do great Italian� Tony said.

“Thank you Tony.�


“I'll cook you my secret recipe lasagne one day.� Megan promised him as she reached over and kissed his cheek.


“Yum lasagne,� Tony said as he drooled at the thought of it.


“Uh, Tony,� McGee said nervously as he pointed to the corner of his mouth “You have a little drool just there.�


“I'll get it.� Both Ziva and Megan said as they both grabbed napkins and reached towards Tony. Megan got there first and wiped it away with her napkin making Ziva scowl.




“Wow sounds like Ziva and Megan were jealous of each other; I wonder why that would be?� Maya asked slyly with a knowing look on her face.


“Yeah I often wondered that.� Tony replied, “It didn't really matter why they were but things definitely went from bad to worse after that very awkward dinner.�




After dinner Abby offered to make her ‘famous’ chocolate fudge desert and had dragged poor McGee into the kitchen to “help� her make it. Tony wasn't sure who he felt more sorry for, McGee for being dragged into helping the Goth or himself because he knew he would be the first to get to taste the desert.

“How long do you think it will be before we hear McGee start screaming?� Tony joked.

Megan laughed. “Her cooking can't be that bad can it?�

“Hmm well a kitchen is always an excellent place to torture someone and while I can say I have not used this kitchen for it yet it is equipped with secret 'tools' like the rest of the house, I do not think Abby's cooking will be that bad.� Ziva said and Tony couldn't quite tell if she was joking or not.

“Do you think it’s safe to use the bathroom?� Megan joked.

“I could always come and protect you if you wanted me to?� Tony suggested.

Megan laughed and kissed him before making her way down the hall leaving Tony alone with Ziva.

Once they were alone Ziva moved over to the couch Tony was sitting on.

“Thanks again for dinner.� Tony said again as he rubbed his stomach, “how did you know that was my favourite meal?�

She gave him a sly smile. “I have my sources.�

Tony rolled his eyes. “Let me guess, McGee?�

“He did not tell me what I did not already guess.�

“And what else have you guessed?�


“What makes you think I will tell you?�

“Because we're partners.� Tony explained.

“I have had many other partners before you.�

“But not like me.�

She laughed. “That is, how do you say, an understatement.�

He sighed. “You had to get that one right.� He leaned his arm on the couch behind her. “You are learning yet.�

“Yes and I am learning much from observing you and Megan,� She leant over and whispered in his ear, “Tell me does she mind your little hairy butt?�

He turned to face her so his face was inches from her and looked her hard in the eyes. “I don't think that's any of your business Zee-vah.�

“I am your partner am I not?�

Tony nodded. “Yes but what does that have to do with you knowing about my sex life?�

“Well if you want me to share my sources with you I require something in return.�

“How about me not telling anyone about how you threw yourself on me today?�

“That is a lie. I only dived on top of you to protect you. It was a reflex!�

He raised his eyebrows. “A reflex?� He whispered, trying and succeeding to get on her nerves.

“Yes! A reflex! I heard the Gunshot and I saw it heading towards...� She trailed off.

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Zee...� She looked away and started to get off the couch but he grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her chin up so she was looking him in the eye, “Thanks.�

“Tony?� A familiar voice behind them asked, “What's going on?�

At the sound of the voice they broke apart and Ziva hastily shuffled over, they turned around to see Megan looking at them with her mouth open.

Tony stared blankly at his girlfriend for a moment before he was able to speak,

“What? Oh. Ziva saved my life today, I was just saying thank you,� He explained. “Sasha got me started on that...�

Megan folded her arms and raised her eyebrows. “Of course she saved your life, you must have forgotten that small detail?�

“She tackled me stopping a bullet from making its way through my skull, just like I tackled Sasha and stopped a bullet going through her skull.� Tony explained.

Just like Sasha? Megan thought; I knew it! Megan glanced at Ziva, eyebrows still raised. “Really?�

Ziva shrugged. “It was nothing, really.�

“Saving his life was nothing?� Megan asked curiously.

“I would have done it for anyone.� Ziva stated.

“I'm sure you would have.�

Ziva nodded.

Megan laughed. “Sure, and I was raised by unicorns!� She snapped sarcastically, “admit it, you're attracted to him!�

Tony almost laughed. “Not she's not.�

Ziva stood up and slowly walked over to where Megan stood. “No I am not.�

Megan stood up taller and Tony heard her gulp. “I disagree.�

Tony had heard enough, he knew if he didn't step in soon someone (most likely Megan) would get hurt. “Megan stop! You're being ridiculous.�

Megan rolled her eyes. “No Tony, open your eyes. It's obvious she likes you!� With that she pushed her way past Ziva and Tony grabbed her coat and handbag and headed out the door, making sure she slammed it behind her.

Tony sighed. “Thanks for dinner Zee.� He said to his partner before he grabbed his own coat and rushed to catch up and try and make things up with Megan.



Maya suddenly sat bolt upright. “Oh my god, Megan was totally well...she didn't need to accuse Ziva like that even if she was right. I can't believe you followed Megan, poor Ziva.�


“I had to follow Megan she was my girlfriend and I had to check that she was okay.�



“But Ziva was your partner!� Maya shook her head, “Did you find Megan?�


Tony nodded. “Yup and after a lot of begging on my part I was able to save our relationship but she no longer liked Ziva or the idea of me working with Ziva which made it harder for me to talk with her about work.�


“If she ever liked Ziva.�



“Hmm...Anyway I didn't think I'd have to worry about Ziva until Monday but as per usual a call early on Sunday morning changed that...



* * *

Tony snuggled close to Megan and wrapped his arms around her slender body; he was glad they sorted things out and that he was once more able to wake up with her in his arms.

A faint buzzing interrupted his thoughts, he looked over and reached for his cell phone and without even bothering to look at the caller ID he pressed the ignore button. He turned back over and closed his eyes. He heard his phone buzz at least three more times but he didn't even bother looking to see who was calling him at 10am on a Sunday morning.

Just as he was drifting back off to sleep the phone on Megan's bedside table rang. Tony groaned as she sat up to answer it.

“Hello, sure, hang on a sec.� He heard Megan say before she rolled over and nudged him. “It’s for you.�

He looked at her confused for a moment before he sighed and she handed him the phone.

“Hello?� He said as he sat up and rolled his eyes.

“Tony?� Came McGee’s nervous reply.

“Probie, how did you get this number?�

“Abby figured you’d be at Megan’s so she searched the database for her JAG record.�

Tony sighed. He should have known this would happen. “Get to the point Mc Wakeup Call why are you ringing me?�

“Well…umm…Gibbs asked me to find you…he was pretty pissed when you hung up on him…we have a case.� McGee explained. “He wants you and Ziva to check out the victim’s house.�

* * *
Tony arrived at the victim’s house to find Ziva leaning casually against the car, waiting for him. He groaned and walked slowly over to her.

“What’ve we got?� He asked her.

“A Commander in charge of a shipment of fuel rods for nuclear power stations disappeared. Gibbs sent us here to investigate.� She explained turning and walking towards the house. “It looks like no one is home.� She explained as she reached the house and glanced through the window. “Do you have a plan?�

He sighed. She may have been talking to him but from her tone he could tell she was hesitant and was only telling him what he needed to know. “We start looking for the key.�

“Why would there be a key?� She asked her voice sceptical.

“Because they always hide one.  It’s stupid, I know, but it’s what they do.�

She raised her eyebrows. “And you’re certain there’s no alarm?�

Tony nodded as he started searching for the hidden ‘key’. “No sign, no alarm.  But there’s always a key.  You may want to write that down.�    

The door suddenly opened and Ziva who had been fiddling with it shrugged and moved aside. “After you.�

They pulled guns out as they entered the house and began searching the rooms, once they checked it was clear Tony looked around the room he was in and noticed how clean it was with everything neatly put away and not a crumb or piece of dirt to be seen. “Very O.C.D.� He said.

Ziva nodded and continued looking around. “What are we looking for exactly?�

“Anything that’s out of place.� Tony explained.
    
�You are going to have to be a little bit more specific.�

“We’re looking for a reason why someone would kidnap our Naval Officer.  Preferably before Gibbs asks us for it.� Tony explained as he walked over to the computer.  “Houdini?� He asked Ziva as he realised the computer was password protected.

“Hmm?�


“How are you at picking computer locks?�

“Not very good.� Ziva replied without even bothering to turn around, “why, did you find something interesting, Tony? Tony, did you find something interesting?  Tony!� She exclaimed when she saw him staring at the door, she followed his gaze and she saw what he was staring at. In the doorway was a security guard with a gun pointed at them.

“Hands over your heads!� He snapped at them. “Now!  You too, lady!  Make any sudden moves, I shoot.  Do we understand each other?’

“Okay, relax, Quickdraw.  We’re Feds.� Tony explained.

“Yeah?�  The security guard grunted. “What agency?�

“NCIS.� They both replied in unison.

“Never heard of it.� The security guard replied as he became more agitated.

“Naval Criminal Investigative Service.� Ziva explained.

“Never heard of it!� He repeated again.

“You never actually get used to it.  You think you will but you never do.� Tony told him, “Okay, I have a badge.�

“Sit down!� He ordered Tony before turning to Ziva. “Cuff yourself to him.�

“I would rather you shoot me first.� Ziva said and Tony knew by her tone she was pissed with him.

“Cuff yourself, dirtbag!� He ordered her.

“Ow!� Tony complained as she roughly cuffed herself to him.

“Now, you cuff yourself to the chair.� He ordered.

“You’re making a big mistake.� Tony warned him.

“Yeah, like you did setting off the alarm?� He replied.

“Ha! I told you there was an alarm.� Ziva said.

“There’s supposed to be a sign outside.  There’s supposed to be a sign outside!� Tony snapped defending himself.

“Kids probably stole it.  Don’t move!� He warned them before he reached for his radio which Tony noticed wasn’t even turned on.  “Central, I’ve got two suspects claiming to be Feds.�

“No little red light on the radio means the radio not working.� Tony told him before turning to Ziva “Hey, will you please calm down?  This guy is a little jumpy and nervous, so just relax.  No sudden moves, all right?�

“Mm-hmm...� She replied as she slipped her wrist out of the handcuffs and jumped the security guard. 

“Oh, don’t shoot!  Don’t shoot!� He begged her.

“Nobody’s going to shoot anyone.� Tony reassured him. “Right, Officer David?�

“He called me a dirtbag.� Ziva reminded him.

“I’m sorry, Ma'am.�

That just made Ziva angrier. “Ma'am!�




Maya laughed. “Yeah how could anyone be so stupid as to call Ziva Ma'am? No wonder she jumped him.�


“Yeah Ziva was a lot of things but Ma'am is definitely not how I would describe her. I'm just glad she didn't kill the guy and we were able to return to the office with Wilkerson's computer...





* * *

“I thought you said she was organized!� Abby complained once they had taken Wilkerson's computer down to the lab.


“Her house looked like Martha Stewart’s jail cell. Only neater.� Tony replied.


“Her hard drive is a mess.  There are sub-folders with sub-folders, thousands of files, everything’s password protected.  She didn’t know the concept of delete. Oh and by the way where were you this morning?� The Goth asked and McGee looked at him curiously.

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Well since you gave McAlarmClock Megan’s number, I don’t think you really need me to answer that.�

The Goth winced. “I’m sorry I had to do that. You hung on Gibbs, then you ignored his calls so when he ordered McGee to find you I helped…find you.�

“It was my idea Tony, don’t be angry with her.� McGee added.

“Oh I know it’s not her fault.� Tony replied glaring at the junior agent.

“What exactly happened last night?� Abby asked. “One minute everyone having a happy family dinner and then Megan and Ziva start arguing and you guys storm out and now you and Ziva are barely speaking. What changed? Did you come onto her?�

“No!� Tony exclaimed. “It’s just...�

Abby raised her eyebrows. “Just what?�

“It’s just none of your business, Abs.� Tony cleared his throat. “Can we get on with our work before Gibbs comes storming in demanding info?�

“I can’t believe you told, Aunt Abby, that it wasn’t her business!�
“Neither can I.� grinned Tony


Later that day, Tony was yet again in Abby’s lab.
“So have you sorted stuff out with Ziva yet?� Abby asked him as they analysed the recording of when the commander rung NCIS for help.

“Nope, haven’t had time.� Tony shook his head before changing the subject. “Play it again.�

Abby rolled her eyes and played the tape again. They both listened intently before they realised what they heard in the background.

“A train track?� They both asked in unison.

The Goth nodded. “Yes, railroad tracks would be the obvious choice, but there isn’t a second thunk or a thack.  Not even a thock on that track.�

“Have you been reading a lot of Doctor Seuss books?�

“You know I love listening to Theodore Geisel.�

They listened to the tape again, before Tony got Abby to play around with the frequencies, and proving that the thunk was indeed, a train track.
“Don’t forget to talk to Ziva!� Tony heard Abby yell after him as he left the lab, glad to have some good news for Gibbs.

* * *

“Assuming Abby is correct, the vehicle harbouring Lieutenant Commander Wilkerson left the mall via Ox Road.  The car travelled southbound passing three gas stations, a Wall-Mart, and this Lexus dealership.  Two point six miles later they passed by this bank just before crossing the Dungy Street railroad tracks.� Ziva thought aloud once Tony had reported his finding to the others. “Ox Road eventually comes to an end at the luxury living community of Terra Trace Estates.  The Fairfax police are now focusing their search on this central area.  They estimate between eight to nine hours for a thorough search.�

“Lieutenant Commander Wilkerson doesn’t have that long.� Gibbs pointed out.

“Which is why I tracked down the only available surveillance video on or near Ox Road?  Hit the little right button.  This is the internal security camera at the Northern Virginia Savings and Trust ATM.  It sits about three hundred yards north of the train tracks at Ox Road.  Now we know the car passed over the tracks at zero nine zero four.  The speed limit is thirty five miles per hour.  So we’ve got to assume our abductor didn’t want to attract attention by speeding, right?  Our car should be passing this camera around…. hold on a second.  Carry the seven.  Divide by six…� Tony reported.

Ziva pointed to the map. “Right… here. “

“I was working that out.� Tony snapped at her.
 
“We don’t have time to wait while you get your brain into gear.� Ziva snapped back.

“At least I’m smart enough to know not to fire a bullet inside a metal box!�

“You are the one who got us trapped inside the box.�

Just as Tony was going to reply Gibbs reached over and smacked both of them.

 “I saw that.  Why did you give her the soft touch?� Tony complained rubbing his head.    

Gibbs ignored him and turned to Ziva. “Is that the best shot you can get, Ziva?�

“There are a few frames just after she blocks our view.� She replied.

Tony pointed to a car a car passing the railroad tracks. “That’s a nineteen eighty nine Mercedes Five Sixty S-E-L, Boss.�

“I cannot see the plate.� Ziva complained.

“Well, use your little clicker and zoom in.� Tony snapped. “That first number is either an eight or a six.�

“It’s an eight.� Gibbs said.

“With all due respect, Sir, your eye sight isn’t exactly your strong suit.� Tony pointed out.

Gibbs grabbed a scrap of paper and began writing it down. “Eight six three Romeo Charlie Tango.� 

“Nine cars reported stolen from Northern Virginia this morning and one is a Benz five sixty S-E-L.� Tony reported.

“William Lafferty, Fairfax, Virginia.� Ziva added.

Gibbs grabbed his gear and headed for the elevator. “Move it!�




“So even Uncle Gibbs noticed the tension between you and Ziva.� Maya noted. “What did he do about it other than slap you?�

“Nothing, we were too busy with the case. Ziva and I bickered so much about who was driving that Gibbs drove to William Lafferty’s place and it turns out his car was stolen the previous night.�

“So you were back to where you started?�

“It seemed that way until McGee called Gibbs to tell him the victim’s cell phone was just used and gave us the location we rush there to find a couple of teenage boys were using it. We took them back to headquarters to interrogate them and I gave McGee a lesson in how to get teenagers to talk.

“Can’t you just tell me what happened with Ziva?�

“Well even though it was a team effort we were still bickering all the way back to headquarters in front of the bad guy which didn’t impress Gibbs that much so he took the bad guy to interrogation then asked both Ziva and I to meet him in the conference room…



“Boss, would you just tell me what’s going on?� Tony asked Gibbs as he led him towards the meeting room.

Gibbs ignored him and opened the door for him; Tony frowned as he saw Ziva slumped on one of the chairs looking as confused as he was.

“Sit down DiNozzo.� Gibbs ordered him.

Tony chose a chair directly across from Ziva. “Now can you please tell us what’s going on?�

Gibbs nodded. “There’s something going on between you two. I don’t care what it is I just want you to sort it so we can get back to work.� He explained before casually walking out the door, locking it behind him.

They both sat there glaring at each other for a while before Tony finally spoke, “So it doesn’t look like we’re getting out of here anytime soon.�

Ziva nodded.

Tony sighed. “Look Zee, I’m sorry for what Megan said last night. It was rude and completely out of line.�

“Then why did you follow her?�

Tony shrugged. “Because no matter how stupid or insane she acts, she is still my girlfriend.�

“And I am only your partner.� Ziva realised.

“Yeah…but that doesn’t mean you mean any less to me. I talked to Megan and we sorted stuff and while we aren’t going to be coming over for dinner anytime soon I still want to be able to hang out with you.�

She nodded again.

“So whatcha say?� Tony said standing up and holding out his hand to her. “Partners?�

“Partners.� Ziva agreed.

Maya grinned, “Yay, you sorted stuff out with Ziva.�


Tony nodded, “Yup, and things were looking up with Megan too, because when I arrived home that night I decided I needed to take our relationship to the next step.�


“Marriage?�


“No, not quite that far, yet…


Tony cautiously knocked on Megan’s door. His talk with Ziva had made him realise how much the women in his life meant to him so he decided to show Megan just how much he cared about her.

She answered the door in the light blue satin pyjamas he had brought her, and her fluffy yellow robe, “Hey, I didn’t think you were coming over tonight.�

“I can go if you want me to,� he teased starting to walk away.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him into a passionate kiss, “Does it look like I want to be alone tonight?�

“Hmm…� He replied as he kissed her back, “Maybe.�

She laughed and pulled him inside.

“I got you something,� he said making her grin as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a bunch of CDs. “Frank Sinatra, Linda Ronstadt,� he listed as he showed them to her.

“What are these? Why are you showing them to me?� She asked him curiously.

“A whole bunch of these,� he continued. “Well if you look on the back they all have one common song which is-�

She looked at the back of one of them, “I’ve got a crush on you.�

He grinned. “Every one of them, now go on open the Frank Sinatra case, you need to check if the CD is actually in there, because you know Abby came round the other night and you know how she likes to mess up my stuff.�

She glanced at him with a glint of apprehension in her blue eyes before opening the case. Inside he had taped a key.

Megan gasped, “Is this what I think it is?�

“A key to my apartment.�

She leapt up and wrapped her arms around him, “Oh my god Tony, thank you so much.�

He laughed, “Well I figured since you’re spending so much time there anyway it’s about time you had your own key. I debated waiting until I took you out to dinner next week and putting it in your champagne glass, but I’m not sure how hygienic that would be.�

She grinned and kissed him again, pulling him towards the bedroom.

* * *
Tony took the next day off, telling Gibbs by email that he was sick when in reality he spent the day in his apartment with Megan. They watched all his favourite movies and for the first time since he and Sasha broke up he felt… content. Megan was all he wanted and needed. She understood his movie references, laughed at his jokes and took him for him. She didn't seem to want to change him. Of course she didn't like his co-workers, (well just one co-worker in particular), but you couldn't have everything in a relationship. Tony found that as long as he didn't mention work around her, Megan was happy.

* * *

Tony woke up bright and early the next morning to the smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee drifting down the hall into his room.

He quickly sat up and pulled on his pyjama pants before he made his way into the kitchen where he found Megan serving up breakfast.


“Wait a minute!� Maya exclaimed, “Why weren't you wearing any pants?�


“Huh?�


“Why did you have to put your pyjama pants on when you woke up?� Maya asked.


“Because I wasn't wearing them,� Tony explained.


“Why?� Maya repeated.


Tony gulped, “Well I shared the bed with Megan when she stayed over because we got cold but then I got hot so I took my pants off.�


Maya raised her eyebrows.


Tony looked away, “So anyway after I got up that morning I went into the kitchen to find Megan making breakfast…�

Megan was standing over the stove when he walked into the kitchen. He went quietly over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

She grinned, “You seem to be in a good mood.�

“Why wouldn’t I be? I have the most beautiful woman making me breakfast and coffee.�

“Which idea do you like more, the fact that I’m here, or that I’m making you breakfast and coffee?�

“Hmm… you know, that’s a hard one …can I get back to you on that?� He joked as he took a seat at the table.

“Did you want breakfast?� Megan replied holding the plate just out of his reach.

He put on the saddest puppy dog eyes he could, and when that didn’t work he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her onto his knees. Now he had breakfast, and a beautiful woman in front of him.

She laughed, grabbed a forkful of food, and fed it to him. They took turns feeding each other until the plate was empty. After that they continued to kiss and make out.

“Can we start every morning like this?� Tony asked when they finally parted.

“Maybe,� Megan replied, “If you’re lucky.� She paused to look at her watch, “But that’s it for now because if I don’t leave I’m gonna be late for work.� She started to get up but Tony pulled her back and glanced at her watch. He quickly kissed her before standing up, almost making her fall over before he caught her in his arms.

“Have a good day at work,� he said before he rushed out the door, realising he was late. He made a quick call to McGee to let him know he was on his way, who told him to meet them at an old warehouse, which they suspected was being used as an automotive chop shop.

* * *

By the time Tony arrived at the automotive chop shop the team had turned it into a crime scene. As it turned out the car wasn’t the only thing they had been chopping, because when Ziva opened the smaller cooler in the shop she found something she definitely wasn’t expecting… a severed head.

Maya gasped, “A severed head?! You mean, like, a head… just a head… without a body?�

Tony gulped. He forgot the gruesome details of this case. Sure Maya saw more things them other kids her age would see, but it was always worse when it was in a story, because then her imagination could run wild.

Maya seemed to sense his concern because she snuggled closer to him, “Don’t worry Dad I can handle it. It just shocked me, that’s all.�

Tony nodded, “Okay kiddo, but let me know if you want me to stop.�

Maya shook her head, “I’m okay, really. Anyway what was everyone else’s reaction to the head? I bet it was kind of a shock?�

“Yeah it was,� Tony replied, “But the one who seemed the most affected by it was Ziva.�

As Tony helped McGee and Ziva process the scene, he noticed Ziva wasn’t her usual self. She seemed quieter and was staring down at the head.

“First severed head?� Tony asked her, “Mine was a motorcycle accident in Baltimore.  I thought I was just picking up a helmet.�

Ziva shock her head, “Trust me; it’s far worse when you know the person.�

Tony felt his mouth drop, “You knew someone who was beheaded?�

Ziva nodded, “A friend.  He infiltrated a Hamas cell in Ramallah.  They sent his head overnight express.�

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t…�    Tony quickly apologized.

“That’s when I decided that I’d… I’d never be captured alive,� Ziva explained, before walking away to take more photographs, like she was supposed to be.

Tony turned to where Ducky and Jimmy had just arrived, and while Gibbs and McGee showed Ducky where they had found their latest… victim. Jimmy was struggling to get the stretcher out of the ME Van.

Tony watched as Jimmy finally managed to get the stretcher out of the van, before he walked over to where he was standing with a satisfied look on his face, and informed him he wouldn't need the stretcher as there weren't enough body parts.


Maya laughed, “It’s good to know that even in the most gruesome cases you had a sense of humour.�

“Well sometimes you need it to help you get through the day, with those kinds of cases. That, and a great girlfriend helps too.�

“I bet. But how do you keep in touch with that great girlfriend during the day when you’re working a case?�

“Well I called her constantly during my lunch breaks, but there was another way to keep in touch without Gibbs even suspecting anything.�

Maya raised her eyebrows, “Do tell.�





* * *

Tony grinned as he read Megan’s latest email not even noticing the figure reading over his shoulder.

From: RyanM

To: DiNozzoA

Subject: RE: Hi

Hello Troublesome T

Oh, my day has been long and boring. Nothing compared to this morning, we will have to do that again, but next time we can do it the other way round so I get breakfast made for me for once. Or you could do one better by coming and rescuing me. I just finished a consultation with that lieutenant you brought in last week who was accused of drug smuggling. He flirted with me the entire hour and even when I told him I was with someone he continued to hit on me. Now I’ve just got off the phone with his girlfriend who told me to back off. The guy’s not even that attractive! Please tell me you’re having as bad a day as I am.
Love Megan xxx ooo

“Who is ‘Troublesome T’?� A voice behind him asked.


Tony turned to find, (not that it surprised him), Ziva leaning over his shoulder reading the email. “Do you mind? I’m trying to read my email here,� he snapped at her. 


“Not at all,� she replied, “May I call you ‘Troublesome T’?�


“Only Megan and I call him that,� Gibbs told her as he walked into the bullpen, coffee cup in hand.


Tony winced, “Didn’t think you were going to say anything about that, Boss.�


Gibbs ignored him and changed the subject, “Who owns the car with the head in the trunk?�


Tony shrugged. “We don’t know yet.�


Gibbs glared at him. “You’re readying your email and you don’t know yet?�


Tony quickly found what he’d been working on before he’d emailed Megan and showed it to his boss. “We traced the VIN to a Mercedes dealership in Riverdale, which sold it two weeks ago.  The   registration’s temporary and hasn’t been processed by the DMV.�


“We called the dealership.  They don’t open for another twenty five minutes.� Ziva added walking back over to her desk.


“The car’s registered to an Epsilon Corporation.� McGee added as he entered the bullpen. “I just found it; I had to hack into the DMV’s processing computer.�


“Is that legal?� Tony asked.


“I doubt it.� Ziva replied.


“I wonder what the penalty is.�


“Less than reading your emails on my time, Troublesome T.� Gibbs pointed out.


Tony gulped then turned back to McGee who was bringing up his finding on the plasma. “Corporate address is in care of Sean Oliver, Attorney at Law.  Two two five Sheraton Street.�


Ziva grabbed a pen and paper. “Phone number, McGee.�


“When they answer the phone, what are you going to say, Officer David? Hey, we found your car.  Anybody at Epsilon missing a head?� Gibbs pointed out before turning to Tony. “Tony, take Ziva with you. Go.�  

“I thought you said you had a plan so not even Uncle Gibbs would find out you were emailing Megan during work time.� Maya pointed out.

“I didn’t say the plan worked.� Tony pointed out. “But for once I didn’t get myself slapped.�

“Yeah that is weird. Anyway so what happened when you and Ziva, your ever faithful partner went to Epsilon?�

Well…you see that even though I was dating a lawyer I had very low opinions of lawyers. Don’t ask why, I blame Gibbs.�




* * *


“I hate lawyers.� Tony complained as they waited in reception at the attorney Sean Olivier’s office.


Ziva looked at him curiously. “Isn’t Megan a lawyer?�


“Megan’s different.� Tony pointed out.


Ziva raised her eyebrows. “How?�


“She works for JAG, she’s on our side, and she even got me out of jail.� Tony listed.


“How do you know this man hasn’t helped people like yourself out of similar situations? Or that Megan hasn’t helped people that aren’t worth helping?�


“Megan’s not like that.� Tony defended.


“How can you be certain?�


Before Tony could reply the receptionist interrupted by letting them know it was okay for them to go in now.  


The entered the office to see a beautiful brunette woman sitting behind Sean Oliver’s desk. Tony looked around confused why would Mr Oliver not meet them himself and didn’t the receptionist say he was ready to see them?


He glanced at Ziva who shrugged looking as confused as he was. The woman walked over to meet them.


She held up and hand. “Sean Oliver, what can I do for NCIS today?�


Tony tried to hide his shock as he shook her hand. “I’m Special Agent DiNozzo. This is my partner Officer Ziva David.�


“We recovered a stolen Mercedes registered at Epsilon Corporation at this address.� Ziva explained.


“Well they are one of our many clients. I’m sure they will appreciate finding their car� Sean replied.


“It’s a bit more complicated than that.� Tony said. “The car may have been involved in some criminal activity prior to the theft, Ms Oliver.  We’ll need to speak to your client about this.�


Sean folded her arms. “First define criminal activity.�


“We’re not prepared to disclose that kind of information right now.� Ziva told her.


“Then I’m sorry I can’t help you.� She replied. Tony rolled his eyes but Ziva stared at the woman.


“Why is that?� She asked.


“Attorney client privilege.� Tony explained.



Sean nodded. “It prevents me from divulging any information without my client’s permission.  I’m ethically bound to protect their rights.�


Ziva raised her eyebrows. “Even if they may have committed a crime?�


“If you believe that, you would have come here with a search warrant.� Sean replied coolly.


“Oh, we didn’t think it was necessary.� Tony explained.


“So I’ll assume you’ll try to get one now?� Sean asked.


Tony nodded as they turned towards the door.

  “Great.  Then I look forward to seeing you both again.� Sean said as she shut the door behind them.


“Megan would never have done that.� Tony told Ziva.


Ziva raised her eyebrows. “Sure.�


“Wow sounds like talking to Sean Oliver was a big waste of time. And you’re right Megan is nothing like Sean.�

Tony nodded. “You see why I hate lawyers. Luckily I got Megan to pull some strings and we returned 24 hours later with a warrant and Sean had all the files ready and processed. But as we were going through the files we realized Sean had had time to cleanse them before she got them ready for us. We came up with another address for storage for Epsilon and went to investigate…�






* * *


“It doesn’t look like anybody’s here.� Tony said as he knocked on the door to the second storage facility that Epsilon had.


“All right, what do we do?� McGee asked nervously.


“We have a warrant.� Tony pointed out.


Ziva nodded but McGee hesitated.


“Uh, no.  Not really.�


“What is your problem, Probie?� Tony asked him.


“Well, the warrant only covers Epsilon’s files.� McGee pointed out.


Tony pointed to a window on the second floor. “Can you see inside that window?�


McGee shook his head.


“So for all you know, there could be files in there, yes?� Ziva asked catching onto Tony’s plan.


“Technically, yes.  But we could be obfuscating the warrant.� McGee told them.


“You know what that means?� Tony asked Ziva.


Ziva shook her head. “No, not at all.�


“Good.  Neither do I.  Pick the lock.� Tony ordered her and she immediately obeyed much to McGee's dismay. They walked through and saw it was sparse, but there were machines in there and the team wondered what they were used for. They opened up a freezer in the back and discovered it was full of human body parts.


Maya gasped. “A whole place full of human body parts…Why? Why would someone do that?�

Tony hugged her close. “I really don’t know kiddo I really don’t know but Abby discovered that one of the sets of remains found in the storage freezer belonged to the missing Martin Roussad. When you’re Uncle Gibbs asked Sean Oliver about it she admitted that Commander Ross had supplied the body parts and then Uncle Ducky tricked the Commander into coming and helping him identify the parts we found and once he was in autopsy we burst in and arrested him.
“So once again you got the bad guys.� Maya said impressed.

Tony nodded “Then I got to go home to my beautiful girlfriend who was waiting for me.�

Tony arrived home as he expected to find Megan in the kitchen and a delicious smell coming from the oven.


He placed his gear on the table and walked casually over to her, pulled her close and kissed her passionately.


She pulled away.


“Hey, is something wrong?� He asked nervously



“You used me to your advantage. That’s what’s wrong.� She snapped at him.


“What?�


“You came to me to get the warrant,� She explained. “You could have gone to someone else.�


“Yeah but we needed it fast and you were the first one I thought. Would you rather I was thinking of someone else?�


Megan sighed. “Sorry. Stark was hassling me about it and after the morning I had it really got to me.�


He pulled her close and kissed her gently on the forehead. “I understand. You have nothing to worry about I am not using you.�


“I know.� She replied. “You can go and have a shower if you want dinner isn’t gonna be ready for a while then we can watch that movie you were telling me about.�


He nodded and went to have a shower. What Stark had said to Megan about him using her bugged him. He knew Stark was just doing it because he was a lonely old man who was jealous but it still bugged him. He let it wash away along with the sweat and grime of the day’s events.


He grabbed a towel and quickly dressed and hurried out to where Megan was serving dinner. She grinned as he took his seat. “Great timing.�


He drooled as she placed a large serving of lasagne on his plate. He grabbed a forkful and shoved it in his mouth but almost chocked. It was awful, the worst lasagne he ever tasted but one glance at Megan stopped him from complaining. He ate as much as he could and tried to keep it down.


Megan seemed not to notice how bad it tasted and finished her plate first. Once Tony had eaten his he moved to take the plates to the kitchen.


Megan looked at him curiously. “What are you doing?�


“I’m gonna do the dishes. Since you cooked I can’t expect you to do them.� He replied.


She laughed and swiftly took the plats out of his hands. “That’s sweet. But I’ve seen the state of your dishes. You do realise I have to wash anything before I use it here even if you’ve deemed it clean. How about I wash and you dry? That seems fair.�


“Agreed.� Tony said as he followed her into the kitchen where Megan placed the dirty dishes on one side of the bench, filled the sink and began to wash the pasta dish that she had cooked the lasagne in. she then handed them to Tony without even looking.


“Oi watch it! You almost hit me over the head!� Tony exclaimed whipping her with the dishtowel.

“Next time I’ll make sure my aim is better!� She said sarcastically, throwing a handful of soapy bubbles at him.

He whipped her with the dishtowel again but harder, making her jump so she filled a bowl with water and tipped it over his head.


“You’ll pay for that.� He said as he grabbed her and hugged her close making her as wet as he was.


“No Tony, don’t.� Megan begged as she laughed and struggled to escape his grip.


“Never.� He replied and just as she stopped struggling and gave up he released her. “Oh now look at what a mess you’ve made.� He pointed at the puddle on the ground.



�And since you just ruined my work clothes guess what you’ll be doing while I dry these and get into some clean clothes.� Megan replied as she headed towards the bedroom.


Tony sighed and began to mop up the water.


Maya laughed. “Sounds like fun.�

Tony nodded. “Yeah it was.�

“What did you do for the rest of the night?�

“We watched the movie as planed and Megan fell asleep on the couch so I had to carry her to bed. She was so tired that her alarm didn’t wake her up the next morning so I decided to make her breakfast.




* * *

Tony crept into the room as quietly as he could with the tray in his hands. He set it on the bedside table before waking Megan up with a kiss.


She groaned before she sat bolt upright and began to get out of bed. “Oh my god what time is it?�


He gently pushed her back down. “Relax you overslept like ten minutes but I made you breakfast in bed and there’s still enough water for a hot shower but it would save water if we both shared it.�


Megan raised her eyebrows.



Maya raised her eyebrows.


He shrugged. “It would save water.�

Megan took a bite of her toast. “I’ll think about it.�


“So let me guess you shared a shower with Megan to ‘save’ water.�

“Yes I did and not only did it save water but it saved time as well because we both made it to work on time to for the first time that week.�



* * *

Tony walked out of the elevator and came face to face with an anxious looking McGee and an excited Ziva. Without explaining why they pushed him back into the elevator and Ziva handed him his gear.

“I'm on time today for once. We don't start for another ten minutes. What's the rush?� He complained.

“We've got a case Tony.� McGee explained. “We've got a hostage situation at a high school. Gibbs is meeting us there.�

“Why does it involve us?� Tony asked.

“It is located on a Navy Base.� Ziva answered. “Most of the teenagers have parents in the Navy.�

Tony nodded and snatched the car keys out of Ziva's hand. This wasn't his first hostage situation so he needed to take charge being the senior agent. He quickly explained this to the others and ignored their protests.


Maya leaned forward and huddled close. “A hostage situation at a high school! Who was holding them hostage? Did they have guns or a bomb?�

Tony gently wrapped his arm around her. “It was a student with a bomb and we had the job of getting everyone out alive and for your Uncle Gibbs that included the kid with the bomb strapped to himself.�

“Typical.� Maya said rolling her eyes. “And what stupid thing did his gut tell him to do about it?�

“Oh nothing big just got himself in the classroom to try and talk some sense into the kid.�

Maya's mouth was opened in shock. “Oh, my, god! Really?�

Tony nodded. “With Gibbs gone it meant I was in charge. I decided to go and have a chat to the kid.�

“Did you find out anything that would help Gibbs?� Maya asked.

Tony nodded. He demanded that his mother be brought to the classroom and we had until sundown to do so or everyone dies.�

“Oh no.�

“It got worse when we talked to his father and found out that his mother had died in a boating accident the year before. Apparently the boy was taking it hard and even thought he had seen his mother a few weeks ago.�

“No way.�

“Yes way.�

* * *

“Tony.� Ziva whispered to him interrupting his thoughts. It had been fifteen minutes since they had last made contact with Gibbs and the boy, fifteen minutes since they found out they one thing the kid was asking for they couldn’t give him. Tony had been trying to think like Gibbs but his head was beginning to hurt. He sighed and turned to face his partner.

“What is it?�

“The Director wants to talk to you.� She explained handing him a cell phone.

Tony nodded and took the phone. “Director what can I do for you?� he was slightly nervous and noticed his hand was shaking. He hadn’t spoken to her the day he first met Ziva and still wasn’t sure what he thought of her.

“I heard Agent Gibbs went into the classroom and is now a hostage.� Director Sheppard replied.

“He did what he thought was best Director.� Tony explained.

“Of course he did. How is the situation?�

“Well he has made his demands.�

“Which are?�

“He wants to see his mother.�

“Well what are you waiting for? Have you trying contacting her?� The Director asked anxiously.

“That may be a little difficult. His mother died last year.� Tony explained.


“He wants his dead mother brought to the classroom?� The Director asked.

“He won’t accept she’s dead.  He thinks he saw her recently.�
   

“That’s an impossible demand.�

Tony sighed. “I know, Director.  I’m working on it.�

“Define working on it, Agent DiNozzo.�

“SRT’s in place.  Working on getting visual access into the room and a way to contact Gibbs.� Tony reported.

“And?� She asked expectantly.

“And we’re just getting started.�

“What’s your deadline?�

“Sundown which is about five hours away.�

“How powerful is the bomb?�

“Uh, don’t know yet.  Sciuto and Agent McGee are going through the kid’s computer and everything found in his room trying to work out what the explosive is.�
    
“Does he have a dead-man switch?�
     

“I hope Sciuto and McGee can tell us that.� Tony replied.
     

“And if he doesn’t?� The Director questioned expectantly.
     

“You want me to take him out.� Tony realised.
     

“It may be your only option.� The Director pointed out.

“I’d like to get them all out alive, Director and that includes the kid.� Tony told her and even he noticed he sounded like Gibbs.
    

“I agree.� The Director replied. “But if it’s not possible, I need to know that you’re capable of making the call.�
 
“I’ve done it before.� Tony reminded her. She was starting to irritate him.

“On a fifteen year old?  If the time comes you cannot hesitate.  You cannot second guess yourself.�
   
That was the last straw he had had enough. “Okay, if you don’t trust me, I suggest you relieve me.  Otherwise, leave me alone.  I’ve got work to do, Ma'am.� He snapped at her before hanging up and handing the phone back to his partner who was standing there looking at him curiously.

“She asked if you had the bells for this, yes?� Ziva asked him. 

“Balls.� Tony corrected her.
  

“Do you?� She asked him.
     

 He took a deep breath. “I hope so.�

Maya gently patted his arm. “Don’t worry Dad. You have balls I know you do.�

“Thanks Kiddo.�

“But did you shoot him? Or did Uncle Gibbs mange to get him to give up the bomb?�

“Well...


* * *
Tony hesitated as they all anxiously waited for his command. The sniper was ready they had a clear view of the kid with the bomb all it took to get his boss and all the other students out without the bomb going off was one shot to the head. One shot and the fifteen year old kid who had a bomb strapped to his chest would be taken out and everyone would be safe. It would be the logical choice, what the Director wanted him to do. It would be so easy. Just one shot and this would all be over.

“Tony?� Ziva gently tapped his shoulder bring him out of his thoughts.
     

“The shot is still good, Sir.  Over.� The sniper repeated over the radio waiting for his orders.

“Tony.� Ziva repeated, “This may be our only chance.�

“He’s not a target.  He’s a fifteen year old boy who misses his mom.� Tony snapped at her before reaching for the radio to give the order. “All sniper units stand down. Do not take the shot.�

“All units stand down.� The slightly confused sniper reported to the ten other snipers who had surrounded the school classroom.

Ziva looked at him curiously. “Why?�

“It’s a Gibbs’ thing.  My gut.� Tony explained.

“I knew you wouldn’t do it. I just knew you wouldn’t kill a fifteen year old kid even if they did have a bomb strapped to his chest.� Maya exclaimed.

“Thanks kid. For a while there I wasn’t even sure what i would do. But it was for the best because your clever Uncle Gibbs noticed that the kid had an earpiece in his ear so he turned to the back of the classroom where there were computers with webcams your Auntie Abby and Uncle McGee had managed to hack into and using sign language let them know that he suspected the kid was being used as a puppet.�

“Cool and you say learning sign language is a waste of time.�

He coughed and pretended that he didn’t hear what she just said. “Anyway we tried again to communicate with Gibbs but the kid was onto us which led us to believe whoever was controlling him also had eyes and ears in the classroom.�


* * *

“Dirtbags have eyes and ears in the classroom.� Tony said to his partner as the struggled again to get a good view of the classroom.

Ziva grinned “Good.�

Tony looked at her utterly confused. Was she hearing the same thing that he was? “Good?�

“We back track the feeds.  It’ll lead us to them.� She explained. “Earwigs have a limited range and only a handful of frequencies.  We have the equipment here to sweep.�
   
“Do it.� Tony ordered the rest of the agents that were working the case with them.

“Yes, Sir.� The agent replied before turning to his team. “Get the equipment.  Set up for frequencies.�

Tony quickly pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and rang Abby. “Abby, SRT is sweeping earwig freqs to trace the source.  Can you guys do the same thing with the eyes?�     

Tony heard the Goth put him on speaker phone and ask the younger geeky agent that had been working in the lab with her. “McGee?�

“We have three computers with webcams in the back of the classroom.  We’re using one of them.  They must be using-� McGee started to explain but Abby cut him off.


“The one with the blocked router!  The one we couldn’t get into?�
     

Tony sighed he hated it when they used geek speak, he couldn’t understand it and it made his head hurt. “How long?�

“Depends.  They could be using counter attack software. If they’re using a sophisticated encryption system it could be a hundred and eighty to two hundred and fifty six bit-� 

Tony had just about had enough. “Probie!� He snapped at the younger agent. He even scared himself at how Gibbs-like he sounded.

“On it, Boss.� McGee replied automatically before he corrected himself. “Tony.�

Tony laughed at the mistake as he hung up the phone.
     

“What?� Ziva asked.

“He called me Boss.� Tony explained.

Ziva smiled. “Yeah, he’ll never live that down.�

“No he won’t.�

Maya laughed. “Uncle Probie called you boss. That’s funny.�

“I know and I still hassle him about it.�

“Okay so it was a really stressful day but what about my mom? What about Megan?�

“Well it just so happens that just as we were getting the plan underway and it was beginning to seem like everyone had a job to do apart from me I got a call from her...


* * *

Tony almost jumped as his phone began to ring in his pocket. “DiNozzo.�

“Hey Honey, how’s your day going?� Megan’s familiar cheerful voice replied. “Do you think you’ll be home for dinner tonight?�

Before Tony could answer her he noticed he was getting a second call. “Sorry Megan I really can’t talk right now. I’ll call you back later.� He said quickly before hanging up on his shocked girlfriend and quickly switching to the second caller. “DiNozzo.�

To Tony’s surprise Gibbs gruff voice was the one who answered. “Hey Boss, have you located the kid’s mother yet?�
    
“We have our best agent’s bringing it to me now.� Tony quickly replied.

 
“Hurry up and give it to me!� Tony heard a voice shout down the phone.  
  
“I don’t know, it yet. My best Agent is bringing it to me.� Tony repeated.
     

“Get the number! The voice shouted again. “I want the number!�

“Better get him the number Boss.� Gibbs told Tony.

“I’m working,� Tony started to say as he heard the click of the phone before the drone of the dial tone, “on it.�

Ziva suddenly Gibbs-slapped him “You had to say you had her number?�
   
“I know.  I know it was a mistake.� Tony said as he rubbed his head.

“A mistake Gibbs would not have made.� She pointed out.

“I’m not Gibbs am I?� Tony reminded her.

“EOD’s been studying the pictures of the bomb vest.  This is the remote to the detonator.  One shot could destroy it.� She said ignoring his complaint.

“And the kid?� Tony asked.

“There is more than just one life at stake here, Tony.�

“And I am going to get them all out safely.� Tony told her before he reached for his cell phone and dialled the lab’s number. “McGee, tell me you’re making progress.�

“I’m making progress, Tony. Back tracing their connection to the classroom computer now.  Okay, they’re in Triangle, Virginia.�
    
“Piggy backing off a wi-fi node at the warehouse outside the main gate.� Abby added.   

“I’m sending you the address.  Now do you want us to cut their connection to the webcam?� McGee asked him.
  
“Negative, Probie.  I’ve got a better idea.� Tony replied. As he quickly told them his plan.   
     

“You know what, Tony?  This might actually work.� McGee said and Tony couldn’t help hearing the surprise in his voice.

“Don’t sound so surprised, Probie.�

“Oh, he’s right, Tony.  We should have thought of it.� The Goth exclaimed excitedly.


Suddenly there was a loud crash and two cries of pain from the other end of the phone. “What the hell was that?� Tony asked.

“McGee tripped.� Abby explained.

“Trip on your own time, Probie.� Tony warned him. “Can you make it happen or not?�

“The problem is finding the right stream to mirror, Tony.� Abby told him.
    
“We’ll need to recreate a virtual hard drive.� McGee added.

“To replace the physical one.�
    
“The key is the insertion phase, so we’re going to need-�

“A natural buffering period so we won’t be detected.�

“Using a pretty standard code-�

“Which means they’ll be able to retag the algorithm during decompression.�

“So what we need is a multi-point control unit to enable a seamless-�   

“Guys, phys Ed major here.� Tony reminded them.

“We can do this, Tony.� Abby exclaimed.

“When? “

“Uh… now if you want.� McGee said nervously.  

 
“On my mark. DiNozzo out.� Tony said before he hung up. He now had a really sore head from listening to all the geek speak. He needed to remember to talk to them about that another time. Right now he had to focus on the job at hand.


“Wait!� Maya exclaimed interrupting him. “What was your idea? I don’t get it.�

Tony laughed. “Oh yeah, well your Uncle Probie and Aunt Abby followed the webcam trail, and found a location- just outside the base. They wanted to know if they should cut the feed, but I had a better idea. We inserted a video loop so the baddies, who were sitting in a van contemplating the imminent blowing up of the kid, and more importantly for them, his mom, carry on looking at a classroom full of hostages when really it is empty.�

Maya laughed. “Wow that’s awesome, did it work?�

Tony nodded proudly. “Yup just as the feed went back to real time, we descended upon them.�

“Awesome. So did you ring Megan back after you got back to HQ?�

“Well actually I didn’t have to because by the time we got back to work it was half an hour after we were due to finish and she was sitting at my desk talking to Abby and McGee while she waited for me...


* * *
Megan was the first one to notice their arrival. She glanced at Ziva before rushing over to embrace her boyfriend.

“Abby and Tim just told me how you saved the day. I’m so proud of you.� She said to him before she kissed him passionately.

As they parted the Goth wrapped her arms around the couple. “That was brilliant, Tony.  Looping the classroom video to the bad guys while you evacuated the kids.�
  
McGee patted him on the back. They’re right.  It was a great idea, Tony.�

Tony released the two women and reached around to Gibbs-slap McGee.
 
“Hey!� McGee exclaimed as he rubbed his head.

“Boss.� Tony corrected him. “It was a great idea, Boss.�

McGee started to go bright red making Abby, Megan and Ziva laugh. “Slip of the tongue, okay?�

“Major slip of the tongue.� Tony replied.

“Oh, give it up, McGee.  Some things Tony never forgets.� Ziva said to the younger agent.

“Well he does if you know the right tricks to make him forget.� Megan added.

 
“That’s true.� Abby added before turning to face Tony. “So, what movie gave you the big idea?�

Tony gulped and looked around at them. “Movie?�

“Yeah.  You know, making the video of the classroom to feed back to the bad guys?� McGee reminded him.

“It just kind of came to me, actually.� Tony lied.

“Ooh!  I saw it!  They had these terrorists.� Ziva exclaimed.

“Half the movies today are about terrorists.� Tony told her.


Ziva shock her head. “No, no, no.  And they took over this bus, and it starred… um…..that actress with the name like an animal… a cow.  No.  Uh… ox.  No, it’s not that.�
    
“Bull?� Megan guessed.

Ziva nodded. “Bull!  Bullock.  Sandra Bullock.  Yeah, and I can’t remember the title of the movie, but it’s…� She trailed off trying to remember it.
   
McGee rushed over to his desk and started up his computer. “I’m going to look it up.  I’m going to check her credits.�

“Probie, don’t you have a report to finish?� Tony reminded him.

“Oh, yeah.  I did it.� McGee replied without even bothering to look away from his computer.

“Good for you. That’s good�. Tony said to him before he noticed Gibbs hadn’t followed them into the bullpen. “Ooh, wait.  Stop talking.  Wait.  Has anyone seen Gibbs?�

“He probably went to report to the director.� Ziva replied as she packed up her stuff. “Anyway it is time for me to go, I will see you all tomorrow.�

There was a mummer of goodbyes as Ziva headed towards the elevator. Once she was gone and McGee and Abby were too busy looking up Sandra Bullock movies Tony turned to sweep his girlfriend off her feet.

“I’m really sorry I hung up on you today. I-� He started to say but Megan held up a finger to his mouth to silence him.

“Don’t worry, I understand. Just don’t make a habit of it.�

“I try not to and to make up for today why don’t we go out somewhere special for dinner.� He suggested.

Megan nodded “That sounds nice.�
* * *

An hour later they sat eating a quiet romantic dinner at the same restaurant they had gone to on their first date.

Megan was playing with her pasta; it looked like she wanted to ask him something. “Honey what’s wrong you’ve barely touched your food?�

“Nothing. I was just wondering...�

He gently caressed her hand. “What is it?�

“Well Christmas is coming up in a couple of weeks and I was wondering if you wanted to come meet my family?�

Tony almost choked on his food.

Maya looked at him curiously. “So she wanted to take the next big step in a relationship, meeting her family. What did you say?�

“I didn’t know what to say.� He answered honestly. “I really cared about Megan after all we had been going out for 3 and a half months by that stage but after what I had been through with Sasha I didn’t want to get too comfortable in a relationship.�

“But you just said you really cared about her.�

“I did. But meeting family is a big step in a relationship and I wasn’t sure I was ready to take that step yet.�

“Did you tell Megan that or did you just continue to stare at her with a mouth full of food?�

“Well I didn’t get the chance to answer because just as I regained my composure we were interrupted by an urgent call on my cell phone...


* * *

Tony looked at his girlfriend apolitically before he swallowed the food in his mouth and reached into his pocket for his ringing phone.


“DiNozzo.�


“Tony, we need to here.� Came McGee’s anxious reply.


Tony sighed. “You really know how to ruin a moment don’t you Probie?�


“It’s important Tony. It’s Abby! She was checking to see if the white powder we found at the hotel was cocaine and it turns out it was cyanide gas.� McGee explained.


“Is Abby okay?� Tony asked. “I’m on my way.� He said before standing up putting his phone back in his pocket and quickly kissing Megan on the forehead. “I’m really sorry but something’s happened at work. I’ll talk to you later.� He told her as he headed towards the restaurant door leaving his girlfriend sitting alone at the romantic table for two.



Maya gasped. “Oh, my, god! What happened to Aunty Abby? Was she ok?�

“Well we had recently had a case in a hotel room where there was blood and white powder everywhere and while she was testing the powder she realised it had cyanide in it.� He explained.

“Why would someone put cyanide in cocaine?� Maya asked.

“That’s a good question and that’s why we started to think someone was after your Auntie. While the lab was decontaminated and both Abby and Probie were checked over we went through her records and found some very interesting facts about your Aunt....


* * *

Tony knew Abby was kinda weird that was one of the things he admired about her but he thought she had better taste in men.


“You have injunctions out on your ex-boyfriend to stop him from stalking you, he made a creepy shrine website and has called you 200 times in the last month, and did you really buy him a straitjacket for his birthday?� Tony read to her from her file.


For once the Goth was silent; she sat on the bench in autopsy next to McGee looking at her feet.


“Why didn’t you come to me, Abby?� Gibbs asked her.


“Because, Gibbs, I wanted him restrained.  I didn’t want him beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat.  And I’m embarrassed.  It wasn’t a great taste in boyfriends.� She explained.


“Did I mention the web shrine he dedicated to you?� Tony asked.


“Okay, it’s creepy.  But that’s not dangerous.  He just can’t accept that it’s over between us.  He’s not a violent type.� Abby replied.
   

“The guy cleans up crime scenes for a living, Abs.� Tony reminded her.


She sighed. “I know. That’s what I liked about him.  But I’m telling you, Gibbs, he’s not your man.  You’re going to pay him a visit anyway.  Can you pick up my red studded dog collar when you’re there?� She asked as Gibbs and Tony left the room.
    

“Wow Auntie Abby’s ex-boyfriend sound almost as creepy as Chip.� Maya said as she shivered at the thought. “But you went and arrested him right, before he could hurt her more?�

“Well it was a little more complicated than that. You see we paid him a visit just as he was staging a photo shoot, with himself as the victim, so we had our guns at the ready. But it turns out he had an alibi for the time of the crime: there had been a full moon, and it had been "drive-by central" and he worked three crime scenes for metro police. We couldn’t arrest him.� Tony explained.


“So Abby had a killer after her and you couldn’t do anything about it?� Maya asked and Tony could see the concern in her eyes.

“No. So it was back to square one. Gibbs sent Ziva and I back to the bullpen to continue working...


* * *

Tony quickly minimized the background check on the Lodge employees he’d been running and quickly read the latest email from Megan asking if Abby was OK and if he wanted to meet her family on Christmas. He looked around the office, with Christmas only 3 weeks away the decorations had begun to appear. He sighed and deleted the email without bothering to reply.


“What is wrong Tony?� Ziva asked him and for once she wasn’t reading over his shoulder.


“Oh nothing, it’s just...� He trailed off as his phone began to ring. His eyes widened when he noticed it was Megan.


“Hey, umm Ziva could...could you do me a favour?� He asked her nervously.


She stood up and walked over to him where she leant curiously on his desk. “That depends. What is it?�


“Could you answer this for me? It’s Megan and I really don’t want to talk to her right now?� He explained offering her the ringing phone.


She raised her eyebrows but took the phone without any argument. “Hello?  It is Ziva. Uh, no he’s not here right now.  He left here urgently and forgot his phone. Yes I will let him know you called. Very well.�


She calmly handed the phone back to him. “Are you no longer seeing Megan?� She asked.


Tony shook his head. “No, we are still together I was just too busy to talk to her.�


“Talk to who?� Abby asked as she entered the bullpen quickly followed by McGee.


Tony quickly shot Ziva a look so she wouldn’t say anything.



“No one.� She told them and before they could question her further Gibbs stormed into the bullpen and demanded to know what they were doing.


“I’m running a background check on the Lodge employees.  Maybe someone’s got a vendetta against the cleaning staff." Tony reported.


“And I am putting together a suspect list and was about to contact the local medical waste facilities and see if anyone reported a break-in.� Ziva reported.

Gibbs then turned expectantly to the youngest agent. “McGee?�


“Well, I can um… I can go check on…  Boss, I’m not really sure what I should do.� McGee said nervously.

“Go home.� Gibbs ordered him. “Take Abby with you.�


“Gibbs, I am fine!� Abby protested. “I only have one stalker and he has an alibi.�
    

“I don’t want you to be alone tonight, Abs.  You’re going with McGee.� Gibbs told her firmly.


“Great.� The Goth complained as she followed McGee towards the elevator. “It’s not like I haven’t been traumatized enough today.�

    

Maya laughed. “I bet Auntie Abby wouldn’t complain about going home with Uncle Probie now.�

Tony grinned. “Especially now they are living together.�

“Yeah, so anyway what happened when Auntie Abby went home with Uncle Probie?� Maya asked excitedly.

“Well apparently your Uncle Probie was a little annoyed at your Aunt because she fiddled with his computer and then when Abby left her tooth brush in McGee’s car she sent him out to get it. But when she answered the door thinking it was McGee it was really her stalker.�

“Oh my god! So what did she do? Did Uncle Probie rush in and rescue her?�



“Actually she threw your Uncle's typewriter at him and missed but broke it. Then she handcuffed the guy to a rail but he had a key around his neck so then she looked herself in the bathroom and when someone bust the door open she almost hit your Uncle with the lid of the toilet cistem.�

“So Auntie Abby was safe but the stalker guy got away.�

“Yeah and McGee wasn't too happy about his typewriter plus Gibbs wasn't happy with him because he left Abby alone...


* * *


Tony walked into the elevator after he got back from his break and didn't even notice the Goth sitting quietly in the corner until she said hello making him jump.



“Umm Abs, you do know this isn't your lab right?� He asked her curiously as he pressed the halt button and slid down next to her.



She nodded. “But I like it in here.�


“How long have you been in here?�



“Since Timmy brought me back here.�


Tony looked at his watch. “That was over an hour ago.�


“I know.�

He sighed. “Guess its better in here then it is out there.�


Suddenly they were interrupted as his cell phone began to ring. He rolled his eyes as he realised it was Megan.


“Aren't you gonna get that?�


He held the phone out to her. “Can't you?�


She glanced at the caller ID. “It's Megan; don't you wanna talk to her?�


He shook his head.


“Why not?�


“It’s complicated.�


“Tony I have a stalker trying to kill me.� Abby pointed out.


“Good point.�


“So what happened?�


“She asked me to meet her family.� Tony explained.


“Wow big step.�


“I know.�


“But not big enough to stop you from talking to her. Did you even tell her it freaked you out?'

He shook his head.


She Gibbs slapped him.


“Ow what was that for?�


“Stop avoiding your girlfriend and just tell her how you feel!�


“Did you have to hit me so hard?�



She nodded as she stood up and pressed the halt button. “Yes now go tell Gibbs where I am then ring Megan and sort stuff out!� She ordered him as the elevator dinged and the doors opened.



Tony hurried out of the elevator and into the bull pen where he noticed McGee knelling on the floor typing on his computer. “Uh Probie where's your chair?�



“He doesn’t deserve to sit.� Gibbs barked at them.



“With that ass?� Tony commented earning himself another Gibbs slap which didn't help his already pounding head. “Right sorry Boss, I didn't find our guy but I did find this in his apartment.� He reported handing Gibbs some recent photos of Abby.



“It looks like he has been tracking her for a while.� Ziva said as Tony brought the photos up on the plasma.


“So much for that restraining order.� McGee added.



“I also spoke to his supposed girlfriend. They went on one date and all he talked about was Abby.� Tony told them.


“Have any of you actually found the guy that's trying to hurt Abby?� Gibbs asked.


McGee sheepishly raised his hand. “Actually, Boss, I had an idea about how to find him. I’ve been analysing the incoming packets on Abby’s system.  There appears to be a shell code. Um… I think that he's been worming into Abby’s computer to monitor her communications.�


“Do you think you can trace the worm?� Ziva asked.


McGee nodded. “If he tries to access again, yeah.�


Gibbs slid McGee a chair. “Coordinate with Abby.� He ordered him.



“Boss, you’re going to have to try to get her out of the elevator first.� Tony told him.



Gibbs nodded and headed towards the elevator.


“Did Uncle Gibbs manage to get her out the elevator?� Maya asked. “Did you do as Abby said?�

“He moved her lab stuff into the elevator until she decided that the longer she stayed in the elevator the worse her chances were.� Tony replied. “Then Gibbs took her back to his place for the night after her stalker managed to get into her lab. Then I single handedly-�

“With some help from Ziva and Uncle Probie.� Maya added.

“Okay they helped a bit; we managed to track down her stalker trying to cross the Anacostia River.�

“So Auntie Abby was safe.�

“Well not quite you see we brought the stalker into interrogation. He then protests his innocence and showed us that the pictures he had in his creepy stalker montage all showed the same guy following Abby.�

“Oh my god who was it?�

“Well then the Director came in and told us that the Federal Marshall who was supposed to pick up Abby: had his tires slashed and he hadn't left yet but someone just took your Aunt away in a van to testify on the latest court case.�

“So who took her? Was she okay?�


Tony nodded. “Yeah we rushed after them, getting co-ordinates off the GPS in Abby's phone. We got there to see no signs of your Aunt until we heard a whistle and sounds of a struggle. We ran over to the white van to find your Aunt standing there zapping the baddie with a tazer.�

“I knew Auntie Abby could look after herself!� Maya exclaimed. “So what did you do about Megan?�


“Well I decided to listen to your Aunt because she's always almost right and after work I decided to make a start on making it up to Megan...



* * *

Tony was packing up his stuff as Ziva walked into the bullpen.


“Hey.�


“Hi.�


“Listen, do you wanna come for a walk?� He asked her he could really use her opinion where he was going.


“Of course Tony where are we going?�


“You'll see.�


* * *

They arrived at the small jewellery store on the corner. Tony always brought his jewellery from there; it was even where his grandfather had gotten his grandmother's engagement ring from.


“Tony, what are we doing here?� Ziva asked him nervously.


“I need to pick something up and I wanted to get your opinion on it.� He explained as he entered the shop. Ziva nodded and followed after him.


“Hello.� They greeted the salesmen and Tony reached into his pocket and handed him a card. The salesmen glanced at it before walking over to the back of the shop.


“When are you going to tell me what we are doing here?� Ziva asked him again.


“Soon.� He promised.


The salesman returned and handed him a small black velvet box. “Here we are sir.�


Ziva looked at him curiously. “What's that?�


He opened the box slowly and grinned as her eyes widened as she saw the stunning gold diamond engagement ring.



“Ooh.� She said as she admired it.


“What do you think?�



“Megan will like it.� Ziva replied absent as she glanced at her watch. “I have to go. Bye Tony.� She said as she rushed out the door.




“I'm not surprised she left.� Maya commented.

“Why do you say that?�

Maya sighed. “Never mind. Anyway did you give Megan the ring? What did she say?�

“Well actually...



* * *

Tony quietly entered his apartment where he found his girlfriend sitting on the couch reading a book. He put his gear by the door and went over to sit next to her and wrap his arm around her.

She slowly placed her book down on her lap and looked up at him. “So you are talking to me.�

“Sorry about that today was hectic. Anyway I wanted to discuss our plans for next week.� He said casually.

She grinned slyly. “You made up your mind then. You wanna come meet my parents?�

He gently kissed her forehead. “Of course I do.�