Standing inside the alley was like being sent through a time warp. Memories flashed in front of her, her grandfather’s body with his eyes warning her to run away lest his precious Raz end up the way he has, Jacob towered over her, the scent of blood overwhelmed her and suddenly, Jacob lashed out at her, and she stumbled backwards, breathing heavily. Arms closed around her waist, cradling her against him, and she almost cried to hear the ice in his familiar voice. “Welcome back to hell, Lela.”
He pushed her back against the brick wall, covering her mouth with his own, and she was too terrified to do anything. She could feel the blade against her skin, but knew that no one else would see it. It was a dark Virginia night, and they were hidden away in the shadows of the alley. If anyone saw them at all, they would see a couple probably too drunk to wait for a bed. He popped open the buttons on her shirt, laughing softly as he tied her hands behind her back. He stepped back to look at her, heated gaze taking in the sight of her, breathing hard and vulnerable, and he touched the scars that cut across her skin. “I didn’t picture it like this, Lela, the night you finally surrendered. Not until recently. Oh, I suppose I should have offered my condolences about our husband.” Said Michael dryly. She could tell that he was amused by the fury that appeared in her eyes.
“You son of bitch!” she spat, struggling against the knots he’d tied around her wrists, but he was good at what he did. “How could you?”
“Easy,” he replied lazily, yanking her up against him. “You didn’t care, so why should I? Of course, all that left me was the fact that it’s because of you that my father is dead. This is revenge, little spy.”
“Not so little anymore, am I, Michael? You couldn’t come after me on your own, you had to try to scare me to death first.” She threw at him. “At least I’m not a traitor to my country!”
He laughed at her, carefully scoping out each mark his father had left her with . “You think I am? No, my father deserved to die for being a traitor, but that’s not why I turned him in. No, I didn’t care about that. All I worried about was that he’d hurt beautiful sweet Areille. I would never associate myself with such scum as he did, no, his cell is dead, Mossad managed to round them all up years ago. But their records left me something to hurt you with, knowledge of what you’d always kept closest to you. I figured that if I could make you think the cell had resurfaced I could make you suffer and live in fear. Make one too many mistakes. I hired that moron to ‘ID’ you and Tahlia, but he wasn’t supposed to kill her. At least I found out there was someone you cared about.”
Sarai’s mind was screaming with anger and fear and more. “You put little Tahlia in the middle of your revenge?” she whispered, stunned. “You dare to say her name after what you did?”
“She chose to try to save you, it wasn’t my fault!” he declared, and his knife bit through her skin, reopening the wounds that should have killed her fifteen years earlier. She gasped in pain, tears welling in her eyes, but she bit her lip against the scream that threatened to wrench itself out. “If you want to blame anyone, blame yourself for creating me.” He watched, satisfied, as blood spilled over her stomach and moved up to the next wound. “I loved you, you know.” He told her, his voice unnaturally gentle. “I would have taken care of you and kept you safe. But you just couldn’t give me a chance, you were all ambition and pride, no emotion.”
“I loved you too, Michael.” She gasped. “The same way I loved Ziva and Tahlia. I wanted to protect you, with every bone in my body, I would have protected you three, even from myself. And I was a danger to you. None of you were ready for my world yet, but you would have been, and when you were I planned to hold you every time your heart broke, every time you lost faith in the world. But for me to be able to do that for you, you had to live!” She cried. “And how the hell could I keep you alive by bringing you with me? I was a killer by my tenth birthday, damnit! And when the four of us were together, all I saw was my family, and all I could do was shield you from what I’d become! And I did! When you heard the adults talking about enemies of the State of Israel and their past or future deaths, did you ever once think to yourself, Oh, Areille has to work again? No. None of you had to feel that horror and bloodlust until you were well into your grown years. Nineteen was your first kill, Michael, yes, I know.” She’d seen his look of surprise when she said that. “Tahlia never did, and Ziva’s first time wasn’t until she was twenty. I pushed you all away, but it wasn’t going to stay that way!”
“Like hell it wasn’t!” but he didn’t look so sure anymore. “You’re the best, Lela, and that means you can lie through your teeth to the death. If you a killer so young, it’s because you wanted to be.” She let out a hiss as he cut open another scar but refused to show how much it hurt. Her muscles were tight with the strain of hiding the pain, and inside she was wishing that she could die, just so that it would end. He smiled grimly, the tang of blood in the air enough to bring back his need for revenge. “Were you looking forward to being a mother?” he asked cruelly.
“God yes.” She murmured, unable to stop a few tears from escaping. “I wanted a second chance, but I haven’t been able to hold since…”
“You were pregnant when you arrived in Virginia, I hear.” He said casually, and when Sarai refused to answer, he said it for her. “You may be the best, but I was always a close second, wasn’t I? You were in the hospital in your fourth month for a miscarriage. An occupational hazard I wonder, or is there someone out there that you truly care for?”
She shook her head vehemently. Where were Gibbs’ agents? “It wasn’t my fault.”
“The pregnancy or the miscarriage? Because the way I heard it, you were drinking and that’s why you lost the baby.”
“Shut up!” she growled.
“So I finally found it, you’re weakness.” He dug the blade into the last scar, tearing it open violently. He would either leave her to die or he would kill her now. “You’re maternal, but you can’t have children.” He grinned, touching her hair with a blood stained hand. “Did you really love him, I wonder, or did you just want a baby to replace the one you lost? Maybe I did him a favour by killing him before he found out the truth.”
“Or maybe you just pissed off the woman who signs your paychecks.” Declared Gibbs. Him, Michelle, and Nikki stepping into the entrance of the alley. “Drop your weapon, and I’ll consider letting you live.” Michael grabbed Sarai and jerked her in front of him, the knife at her throat, and the trio of agents were dismayed to see how fast she was bleeding. The entire front of her body was soaked with blood, and she could barely stand.
“Drop your weapons or I’ll kill her.” Threatened the Israeli. He was too busy reassessing the situation to notice that Sarai’s shaking fingers were reaching for the waistline of her jeans, where the handle of a knife peeked out. “And I don’t believe any woman signs my paychecks.”
“Wrong, you bastard.” Rasped Sarai, weakly. “Director Davíd doesn’t have time to sign them all, so he has me do it instead. After all, what daughter can’t forge her father’s signature?” And she shoved the knife into him with what little strength she had left. He stumbled, dropping her, and she fainted as she hit the ground, three gunshots ringing in her ears.
Her eyes fluttered open, and all around her there was gleaming white. She turned her head and saw the two people she’d least expected to allow themselves to be seen in her hospital room. Her mother’s head had fallen back against the wall, and Gibbs’ was sunk onto his chest as they both slept in the room’s visitor chairs. She reached out and touched his knee softly, wanting to know that he forgave her for losing their child. He started, and blinked away sleep. “Are you alright, Raz?” he asked, taking her hand, and there was concern in his eyes. She smiled, not sure what to say, and he seemed to know, as always, what was left unsaid. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it.”
“I was so scared.” She whispered, her voice hoarse from disuse. “And all the while it was just him, no one else. I’ve been safe this whole time.”
His eyes darkened. “He almost killed you, how is that safe?”
“We had a plan, remember? Get a confession, then we take him down if we have to.” She reminded him. “If not for that, he’d have been dead the second he kissed me.”
“Well now I’m really glad I shot the bastard.” He laughed, touching her mouth. “He lost that chance years ago.”
“Jen’s going to wake up soon.” Warned Sarai, closing her fingers around his wrist. “She’ll kill you, you know.”
He sighed and sat down, nudging Jen awake. “She’s up, finally.” He said gruffly, completely different from how he’d been a second ago.
Jen jumped up, pushing her daughter’s hair out of her eyes. “Thank God.” She breathed, relief flooding her features. “I was afraid I’d actually lose you this time.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Jen.” Laughed Sarai. “You won’t be rid of me that easily.”
“Yes, well, if you scare me like that again, I might actually call your father and Ivanna.” Warned Jen, and it was no idle threat.
“I’ll be sure to remember that.” She replied solemnly, and Jen smiled warmly. Gibbs slipped out of the room, knowing that Sarai would come to find him as soon as she was out of the hospital, so he might as well let Jen have this moment.
She wrapped her body around him, purring with content. Her body was loose and sated and she was glad to finally have his full attention. He stroked her dark hair, lazily, and kissed her forehead. “Then you do love me, Miss Mossad.” Said Tony, his voice low and sultry.
Ziva dragged his mouth down to hers again. “I love you, Tony.” She breathed, her back arching into him.
“I love you too, Ziva.” He murmured, loving the way she felt with her head on his shoulder. “And just between us, I don’t think I could ever have said that if it hadn’t been for all the insane stuff that’s been happening for the last few weeks.”
“I couldn’t have either, but don’t tell Sarai that I said that.”
Sarai collapsed in Gibbs’ arms as soon as his front door closed behind them, sobbing. He held her and whispered to her soothingly, waiting for her to run out of tears. Finally, when her crying turned to hiccups, he cupped her face in his hands. “I want you to trust me.” He said firmly. “Tell me everything.” And so she took a deep breath and told him the whole story, from the first assignment she’d been sent on, to the years she’d spent in Israel with her father’s family, to what had happened in the Alley fifteen years earlier, to Tahlia’s death, and to the moment she’d realized that Tyler was dead. They stayed up all night, laying together as he listened in silence. When she finished, she was exhausted, the number of truths overwhelming her and making her dizzy. He moved on top of her and kissed her, slow and heated, and she couldn’t breathe, even if she’d needed to. Gibbs pulled back, cradling her dark head. “You’ve had one hell of a life, Raz. Why did you never try to leave?”
She was quiet for a minute. “I was afraid. And I liked it. I was really made to be what I’ve become. Do you have any idea how intoxicating it is to know that men fall in love with me at the drop of a hat, and that, for all I act like a damsel in distress, I can kill them as easy as look at them?” her strength was returning, and it gave her a glow that she never had otherwise. “It’s sick, I know, but to know that I could have the world if I wanted it, it makes me feel like I can’t fall.”
Gibbs lifted her mouth up, trying to stop her from saying the words, as if that would keep her from ever thinking them again. She melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You make me feel the same way.” She murmured against his lips. “But it’s safer. It’s not that I’m so high, just that you’ll never let me fall from where I am. You’ll hold me up.”
“And I will.” He growled. “If it kept you sane, I would do just about anything.”
“I will make sure I never put you in that position.” She returned, cuddling into him. “I promise.”
“Don’t.” he said, shaking his head. “I’d rather you come to me for help than break down like the last time.”
She shrank, wishing she could read his mind. “I didn’t mean to start drinking again. I swore I wouldn’t touch it after Tahlia died, but then I went started up again after I left. I’m sorry, Jethro.”
“For what? For not being perfect? Believe me, you’re track record is better than mine by a long shot. And besides that,” he kissed her neck, grinning at her tiny whimper. “We’ve got time for that. How would like explaining to your mother why your five year old looks just like me when she doesn’t even know that you snuck into my house?” he reminded her, teasingly.
Sarai laughed, and she was fully contained in the present where his touches did something to her that she would never understand. “Oh, but who’s to say that she doesn’t? Maybe I told her years ago so that the next time I ran into you, I could jump you without giving a damn about what she would think?” She teased back
“I’m pretty sure she’d have killed me by now if she knew.” A shudder ran through him when their skin touched, and he barely had time to wonder what had happened to their clothes before she was clinging to him, gasping his name as her body trembled under him. “I love you, Raz.” He wasn’t sure if she’d heard him, but it made the world a little brighter just to say it out loud.
Author's Chapter Notes:
What happens when getting a confession takes longer than anyone had imagined, and what secret has Sarai still refused to tell?