Disclaimer: Walt Disney owns this not me. I found it The New Illustrated Disney Songbook ©1986 The Walt Disney Company on pg. 83 and it was written by Cy Coben and the music was by Oliver Wallace.
There I hope I got everyone who should be given credit in there.
The Verses
How D’ye Do and Shake Hands
You go through life and never know the day
When fate may bring a situation that will prove to be
Embarrassing, your face gets red, you hide your head
And wish that you could die, but that’s old fashioned,
Here’s a new thing you should really try,
Chorus
Say:
“How d’ye do” and shake hands, shake hands, shake hands,
Say “how d’ye do” and shake hands, state your name and
Bus’ness.
You introduce your girlfriend to your very special beau
And then he doesn’t call you and the next thing that you
Know you see them both a-walking down the street as big
As life, and when he says, “My dear, I’d like to have you
Meet my wife,
Chorus
You take your girl friend on a date and you have so much fun
That you forget to bring her home until it’s after one,
Her father’s waiting at the door as angry as can be,
I’ve had that happen lots of times, so take this tip from me,
Chorus
While at the wedding of some folks you hardly know by sight,
And in conversation with a woman on your right
You say you think the bride’s a mess, her face she ought to hide,
And when you find you’re talking to the mother of the bride,
Chorus
While walking thru a cemetery very late at night
You find that you’re confronted by a figure dressed in white
And the blood inside your veins has quickly turned to ice
Everything will be O.K. if you take my advice
Chorus
You walking into a restaurant as hungry as can be,
And when you’ve had your meal of everything from A to Z
You realize you haven’t got a single cent with you
And when the manager comes over this is what you do
Chorus
You’re speeding down the highway and the feeling is superb,
And then you hear a siren and “Pull over to the curb,”
And when a cop who’s big and tough comes walking up to you
And asks you where the firs is that you are going to,
Chorus
You go into a barbershop to get yourself a shave,
And if you are the kind of guy who never can behave
You ask the manicurist for a little kiss or two
And then when you discover it’s her husband shaving you
Chorus
A handshake and a happy greeting’s mighty hard to beat,
So at the risk of boring you I’m going to repeat
Remember in the future that no matter what you do
Here’s one way to get out of any mess you get into
Chorus
Author's Chapter Notes:
I ran across an Alice in Wonderland song and decided it was perfect for a FF with Tony, so enjoy! The ending is sadder than I intended but I hope you'll still read it.